A conceptual framework for guiding our responses to emotional situations in real-time.

1. Compass of Response
Brian Landberg
2015-Mar-14

2. Background
• Often, we find ourselves in situations that are unanticipated and/or
undesirable. How we react in such situations can make the difference
between success and failure (in career, in life, in relationships). However, as
events do happen unexpectedly, and we are expected to react ‘in-the-
moment’ (immediately and under duress), we may have difficulty choosing
the best response and instead bow to our emotions (fear, anger, etc.).
• It would be good to have a guideline of responses that we could glance at
like a wristwatch or a pocket compass. Thus, I designed one.
• This idea was inspired by the writings of Steven Covey (7 Habits), and also
Viktor Frankl, who said, “Between stimulus and response there is a space.
In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our
growth and our freedom.”

3. Engage
Avoid
Indirect Direct
The 2 primary axes of response are
*Engage with or Avoid another party,
*Interact Directly or Indirectly
A wide spectrum of various responses may fall
Within the quadrants described by these axes.
Q1: Quadrant of Logic/Debate
Q2: Quadrant of Postponement
Q3 : Quadrant of Expression
Q4 : Quadrant of Kindness
For example,
• Apologize - Quadrant 3 (or 4)
• Negotiate - Quadrant 1 (or 4)
• Escalate/Seek mediation – Quadrant 2
• Change subject/make humour– Quadrant 4
2 1
4 3
12 o’clock
6 o’clock
3
o‘clock9
o‘clock

4. Escalate
Walk-out
Legal
Action
Negotiate
Logical
Debate
Apology
Ask info
Kindness
Humor/
Change
subject
Mutual goals
Express
Feelings
Postpone
relations
Engage
Avoid
Indirect Direct
This compass can be printed and used as a handy
wearable/portable reference. It could also be
incorporated as an application for digitally helping
people to manage the responses to emotional
situations.

5. 1. Engage/Direct Quadrant
• Logical quadrant: Initiate discussion, debate, negotiation, legal action

6. 2. Engage/Indirect Quadrant
• Postponement quadrant: Walkout, postpone, escalate to higher
authority

7. 3. Avoid/Direct Quadrant
• Expression quadrant: Emphasize mutual goals, express feelings of
dissatisfaction, inconvenience, apologize for causing embarrassment,
etc.

8. 4. Avoid/Indirect Quandrant
• Kindness quadrant: Request more information to better understand
the viewpoint of the other party; Perform a small act of kindness; Add
humor to lighten the situation; Change the subject to refocus on a
topic of mutual interest, etc.