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1. We all know the feeling of being down to our last nerve.
Where do you find yourself losing your cool and your
emotional balance? Is it in traffic, on the job, or on the
home front? Mobile anger management is a growing
challenge. Angry drivers are endangering themselves and
others during the daily commute.

2. This morning, I found myself creeping along three cars
behind a big yellow school bus. The driver of the second
car responded to the pace by honking his horn, revving his
engine and shaking his fist. These actions appeared to
escalate his anger and did not impact the speed of school
bus.

3. Whether anger and stress happen to you most frequently
in traffic, on the job, the sports field or on the home front,
one thing is certain - you will not be making friends or
influencing others when your emotions explode all over
them. Avoid ruining relationships by applying what I call
the A.C.E. Approach to anger behavior management. ACE
stands for Awareness, Clear Thinking and Enlightened
Actions.

4. Start by being aware that you might have an anger issue.
Think about this week's stressful situations by using the
six suggestions below. Then take enlightened action to
keep control of your anger and keep your cool.

5. Six ACE Anger Management Tips

6. 1. Find ways to calm and soothe yourself:

7. 2. Practice deep-breathing exercises, visualize a relaxing
scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase to yourself. You
can also pray, listen to music, journal or do yoga:

8. 3. Step back from situation or picture yourself in that
scene:

9. (a) Stepping back: Carry something that serves as a
reminder to step back from the situation and get your
anger under control. For instance, you may want to keep a
small marble, a rubber band on wrist, or a scrap of paper
with your tips written down.

10. (b) In the scene - What if you had done the same thing?

11. 4. Think carefully before you speak so that you don't end
up saying something you'll regret:

12. Count to 50. Sing the A, B, C song to yourself.

13. 5. Use "I" statements when describing the problem to
avoid criticizing or placing blame. For instance, say "I'm
upset you didn't help with the housework this evening,"
instead of, "You should have helped with the housework."
To do otherwise will likely upset the other person and
escalate tensions.

14. 6. Don't hold a grudge. Forgive the other person and ask
to be forgiven. It's unrealistic to expect everyone to
behave exactly as you want.

15. It may take some time and repeated effort to put these
tips into practice when you're facing situations that
typically cause you to boil over. In the heat of the
moment, it can be hard to remember your coping
strategies.

16. Most of the anger management tips can be practiced on
your own, but if your anger seems out of control, is
hurting your relationships or has escalated into violence,
you may benefit from seeing a counselor or an anger
management professional.

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