Lesson one: How to Detox Your Mind www.hollypinafore.org ©  2010 Danielle “Holly” Travali
It’s Time for a Mental Detox <ul><li>Today we're going to do a little bit of spring/summer cleaning, but you won't need a ...
Oops…you’ve inflicted pain on your credit card…
Okay, so you felt like a total jerk at work…
Mama’s playing the guilt card again…
Face facts… <ul><li>We all have days where others try to bring us down and when dilemmas get even deeper than the ones dis...
Must you wallow in misery? <ul><li>Sure, you can sulk in your guilt for hours. You can apologize to your boss and your fri...
You create your own reality. <ul><li>If you believe you're an awful person you'll start noticing more of what’s wrong with...
Take Baby Steps. <ul><li>...So, here's what you can do to change the negative reality to a positive one: </li></ul><ul><li...
… not done yet! <ul><li>4.  Always, always, always be honest with your feelings. Ask yourself, &quot;what do I really want...
REMEMBER: <ul><li>If you're feeling stressed, ask, &quot;Who or what is causing the problem?&quot; If it's something you c...
The Mental Detox <ul><li>THE MENTAL DETOX: </li></ul><ul><li>Sit quietly on the floor, bed or couch. Turn off your cell ph...
Stay tuned for more Holly advice!
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Stilettos and Self-Help Lesson 1

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Stilettos and Self-Help Lesson 1

  1. 1. Lesson one: How to Detox Your Mind www.hollypinafore.org © 2010 Danielle “Holly” Travali
  2. 2. It’s Time for a Mental Detox <ul><li>Today we're going to do a little bit of spring/summer cleaning, but you won't need a mop, a duster or a vacuum. All you need is a quiet room and five minutes to relax and melt any stress that might have piled up over the past year. </li></ul><ul><li>We're going to clean up our self-image by doing a little mental detox. I want to help you erase negative thoughts so you can absorb new, positive ones. </li></ul><ul><li>If you're the kind of person who tends to feel dumb, stupid or unlucky when the events of the day go awry, trust me…you’re going to be okay. </li></ul><ul><li>Self-help guru Louise Hay, author of the book You Can Heal Your Life , always explains that a thought is just a bunch of words strung together; they can have no power over you unless you let them take control. The events of the day don't define who you are unless you allow them to do so. </li></ul><ul><li>Turn to the next page for three scenarios and some self-dialogue that'll help you fix some problems you might encounter during the day. </li></ul>
  3. 3. Oops…you’ve inflicted pain on your credit card…
  4. 4. Okay, so you felt like a total jerk at work…
  5. 5. Mama’s playing the guilt card again…
  6. 6. Face facts… <ul><li>We all have days where others try to bring us down and when dilemmas get even deeper than the ones discussed in this blurb. </li></ul><ul><li>And we're definitely going to make mistakes, whether they're intentional or unintentional. So, if people in this society continue to expect perfection from all of us (and sadly, many do), they're in for a rude awakening. </li></ul><ul><li>Perfection is not only an illusion; it's insanely boring. When you make mistakes, you prove your humanity. You get a chance to learn something from your blunders, then move on and up with your life… </li></ul>
  7. 7. Must you wallow in misery? <ul><li>Sure, you can sulk in your guilt for hours. You can apologize to your boss and your friend and your mother and the Universe. You can kneel down and beg for forgiveness until the veins in your forehead start to bulge. And of course, you can punish yourself for eating that slice of cake or bagel in the employee cafeteria by skipping dinner. But if you decide do these kinds of things, constantly punishing yourself for being bad, you'll start to feel like a little kid whose parents send them to their room every time they turn around. </li></ul><ul><li>When you treat yourself with disrespect and hold onto guilt, shame, regret, remorse, etc., your inner child may even start to rebel even more (ever feel guilty for hurting someone's feelings, then repeat the same behaviors again and again). People who rebel often have a negative self-image. They think, &quot;what's the use? I've already done so much damage already...&quot; </li></ul>
  8. 8. You create your own reality. <ul><li>If you believe you're an awful person you'll start noticing more of what’s wrong with you than what's right. </li></ul><ul><li>As the late reporter and media scholar Walter Lippmann explained that we create our own realities based on the pictures in our heads (from his 1922 book Public Opinion —the chapter titled &quot;The World Outside and the Pictures in Our Heads&quot;). If you picture yourself to be a dumb, stupid, fat or ugly person, you're automatically going to start disliking yourself based on that &quot;reality.&quot; </li></ul>
  9. 9. Take Baby Steps. <ul><li>...So, here's what you can do to change the negative reality to a positive one: </li></ul><ul><li>1. Realize that you are never ever EVER a bad person for anything that happens to you...despite what ANYONE tells you. </li></ul><ul><li>2. Never punish yourself for making a mistake. Just ask yourself what went wrong and make a mental note to try and do better next time. Wipe the crumbs off your butt and get back up. </li></ul><ul><li>3. If you think you've hurt someone's feelings, have a chat with that person and calmly explain how you're feeling. Then make peace and let it go. </li></ul>
  10. 10. … not done yet! <ul><li>4. Always, always, always be honest with your feelings. Ask yourself, &quot;what do I really want?&quot; That question can be the difference between gobbling an entire chocolate cake in your bedroom or sharing a slice with your best friend while dishing out your emotions. </li></ul><ul><li>5. Louise Hay prescribes something called &quot;mirror work&quot; for her clients. In You Can Heal Your Life , she writes, &quot;I ask people to look in their eyes and say something positive about themselves every time they pass a mirror” (Hay 75). Whenever you're tempted to tell yourself you're a bad, fat, ugly, stupid or weak person, say something nice. Even if you don't mean it at first. Because if you keep up the habit of saying kind things to yourself, you'll eventually start to believe your own words. And you'll start to feel better about yourself. Try it. </li></ul>
  11. 11. REMEMBER: <ul><li>If you're feeling stressed, ask, &quot;Who or what is causing the problem?&quot; If it's something you can't control, then worrying about it is a waste of the time and energy you could use for something productive and fun. If it's something you CAN control, it's time to take action and get with the program without beating yourself up—whether it's the desire to lose a few pounds, make amends with an estranged family member, or help a friend in need. </li></ul>
  12. 12. The Mental Detox <ul><li>THE MENTAL DETOX: </li></ul><ul><li>Sit quietly on the floor, bed or couch. Turn off your cell phone, TV, computer and any other device that may distract you. </li></ul><ul><li>Close your eyes. Breathe in and out slowly through your nose. As you inhale, mentally say the words &quot;I am&quot; and as you exhale, mentally say the word &quot;good.” </li></ul><ul><li>&quot;I am good&quot; becomes your mantra, the natural flow of your breath--the organic rising and falling of your breath. Repeat it over and over again, releasing the negative thoughts on the exhale and inhaling positive ones. </li></ul><ul><li>Trust me, it works! ~Holly </li></ul><ul><li>www.hollypinafore.org </li></ul>
  13. 13. Stay tuned for more Holly advice!

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