2. Introduction
What happen if we translated the 1776 US
Revolutionary War to modern times?
What would that look like? Let’s find out…
3. In The Beginning
The US “War on Terror” has drained the
United States’s money. Suddenly, the
country is flat broke and looking at a bleak
financial future. In response to this,
President Obama and the leaders of
congress decide to raise taxes on US
Corporations, who continue to see
amazing profits while reducing their costs.
4. Outrage!
The US Corporations – led by Steve Balmer,
Tim Cook, Kevin Turner, Howard Schultz,
David Stern and many Fortune 500 CEOs
– are outraged! How dare Obama raise
our taxes! They immediately take action
by getting bands of American Workers to
protest.
5. Crisis!
In protest, American Workers hold “The Boston
Coke Bash,” throwing cans of Coca Cola into
The Gulf of Mexico. In Seattle, they toss their
lattes into the Puget Sound and workers in
Silicon Valley toss their PCs over The Golden
Gate Bridge. President Obama responds by
activating the National Guard, leading to tragic
events such as “The (Insert City Here) Police
Brutalities.”
6. A Cry For Independence!
• Outraged by Obama’s audacity to call up
the National Guard, the Fortune 500
CEOs demand their independence and
name their new nation The Fortune 500
Companies of The Global Economy. They
form a new congress and debate about its
location: Redmond or San Jose.
7. War!
President Obama panics! He sends out
American troops, drones and bands of
mercenaries from Shanghai, who march
towards Silicon Valley. The Fortune 500
Companies of The Global Economy
respond by hiring Michael Jordan as their
general and raising a cry for arms.
8. The New Minutemen
Too busy debating in their new congress to
fight, the leaders of The Fortune 500
Companies of The Global Economy enlist
the aid of The American Worker! Upper
Management avoids the fight, but all the IT
Developers, Construction Workers,
Service Employees and Farmers of
America heed the call to duty. They fight!
9. The War Is Won!
Despite horrendous losses, the workers
overcome all obstacles – the night vision
goggles, the drones, etc. – and they
miraculously win! Vive The Fortune 500
Companies of The Global Economy!!
While President Obama mourns the loss,
Michael Jordan is elected the first
president of this new and glorious country.
10. The Aftermath
The Fortune 500 CEOs are thrilled! No more do
they have to live under the tyranny of President
Obama and taxes! They immediately elect
themselves workers and debate the new laws for
10 years. In the meantime, they realize it takes
a lot of money to run a country, so they begin
enacting heavy taxes on the citizens of The
Fortune 500 Companies of The Global Economy
while making sure there are plenty of loop holes
for themselves.
11. The First Steps Towards Civil War
• There is a great debate about Offshoring and
Outsourcing. Some of the Fortune 500 CEOs
have banned these practices and want them
outlawed, but many others have companies that
are dependent on them. After fierce debates,
they agree to disagree and turn to passive
aggressive tactics. It will be 80 years before this
debate is settled once and for all.
12. Manifest Destiny
Declaring the Milky Way its new rightful
territory, The Fortune 500 Companies of
The Global Economy began the migration
into the great reaches of our Galaxy,
mining the distant planets for raw
materials while relocating The Myrgians,
The Zorbists, The Ooglogs and other
“Aliens.”
13. Thank You
• Want more analogies?
• Want to see what happens when Ayn
Rand is applied to the New York Knicks?
• Email KipEJennings@yahoo.com.
