This document summarizes a presentation on improving negotiation skills and comfort by adopting a collaborative "L-O-V-E" approach. The presentation defines key negotiation concepts like BATNA, reservation value, and target value. It encourages preparing well, focusing on interests over positions, building trust, active listening, and getting creative to find integrated solutions that maximize value for all parties. Adopting this cooperative mindset can help transform negotiations from a dreaded experience into an opportunity to say "yes" and build relationships.

1. Love, Don’t Dread, Negotiations
Presenter: Terrilynn Million Short
SWE Conference
October 2014
Los Angeles, CA

2. Purpose of This Session
●Increase your comfort with negotiations, both in professional
and personal settings
●Identify 2-3 easy tactics each participant can take away to
improve negotiation comfort and outcomes
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3. Negotiations Happen All the Time
●Supplier or customer contracts and pricing
●Budgets and sales plans
●Chores and duties at home
●Getting help when schedules are tight
●Parking and locker spaces
●Buying cars and major household items/services
●Kids’ bedtime, allowances, screen time…
●And, many other examples
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4. What Is the Impact of Not Negotiating?
●If a man and a woman start their careers at the same time…
– She accepts the initial offer of $25,000
– He negotiates for $30,000
●QUESTION: How much more will he make by the end of his
44-year career if they only increase their salary 3%
annually?
●QUESTION: How much more in savings will he have if just
banks all of the differences?
●QUESTION: What if he invests this money at 5%?
There is a high cost to dreading
negotiations
Source: Women Don’t Ask, The High Cost of Avoiding Negotiation – and Positive Strategies for Change; Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever
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5. Perception Can Create a Negative
Reality for Negotiators
●No Trust: 40% say they are trustworthy, but give a far lower
score to their counterparty
●Dislike: 87% are apprehensive about negotiations, 32%
are fearful, 18% say it is inherently unpleasant
●Irrational: Noble Prize winner did a study showing
negotiations are typically guided by emotion and intuition
●There is hope…
– Research shows negotiators get 42% more value by
ditching a zero-sum approach and instead using a
trusting, collaborative style
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5
Source: Forbes.com, “Why Negotiators Still Aren’t Getting to Yes”, Keld Jensen, 2/5/13. Data from study by Prof. Karen Welch, Salary.com survey, and
Copenhagen Business School research, respectively.

6. Let’s Get A Few Essential, But
Important, Concepts Out of the Way
●Every negotiations course or book I have experienced
features a few terms that every negotiator must know
– BATNA
– Reservation Value
– Target Value
●This session will be no different since understanding and
defining them are critical to negotiation success
●…And, attempting to anticipate the values for your
counterpart is also key
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7. What Happens If Your Deal Blows Up?
●Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement
– BATNA is your best option if this negotiation falls
through
– Knowing this is powerful, because it helps define what
you will and will not accept
– The better your option, the better your position
– Make sure it actually meets your objectives
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8. What Is Your Walk-Away Point?
●Reservation Value
– Worst outcome you would be willing to accept before
you would resort to your BATNA?
– Typically it is not an exact value, but instead a range
– Define your absolute “deal breakers”
– You need to know your BATNA to define this… But, the
RV is related to the deal at hand, not the BATNA
– Gives you “peace of mind” and discipline in a
negotiation
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9. What Is Your Ideal or Desired Outcome?
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●Target Value
– What do you consider a successful outcome for the
negotiation?
– Make it ambitious, but ground it in reality
– Defined in the context of both party’s interest and
objectives
– Ideally the answer is multi-dimensional and considers all
potential sources of value
If you don’t anticipate some “No’s”, you
may not be asking for enough

10. A Few Other Terms to Keep In Mind
Parties: Who are the negotiators? Which ones are at
the table? Which ones are silent/invisible?
Objective: What is the big picture? What needs to be
accomplished?
Issues: What are the different factors that you will
negotiate? Single or Multiple? Splitable?
Positions: What does each party want relative to each
issue, and how will they approach it?
Interests: What are the goals/objectives for each? What
other things might influence their position?
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11. It’s Time to Start Loving Negotiations!!
Now you have the essential terms and ideas
(or, at least you’ve been reminded from other negotiations work)
You probably don’t dread negotiations quite as much
(at least hopefully you don’t)
Now… Let’s work on LOVING negotiations
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12. Negotiating Has a Bad Rep
●Staking out extreme positions
●Digging in your heels
●Ultimatums
●Bullying, hardball tactics
●Stonewalling
●Pounding fists
●Storming out
●Impasses
It doesn’t have to be that way
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How can
you build or
maintain a
relationship
like that?

13. From Dread to L-O-V-E!
●Prepare BEFORE
●Want to Say “Yes”
●Trust the Other Party
●Active, Solution-Oriented Listening
●Speak About Interests, Not Rights or Positions
●Get Creative
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14. The Most Important Word…
PREPARATION!!
●Get ready before you engage in the negotiation, including
any pre-meetings or signaling
●Use the obvious and easy sources for
information
●Also find creative ways to gather information
●WRITE IT DOWN!! Create a simple table
with the information for all parties
●Don’t forget to prepare your demeanor
Information is POWER!
Confidence is POWER!
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15. Sample Preparation Table
Party #1 Party #2 Comments
Key Players/Role
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Objective
#1
Issue #1 • Interest
• Target Value
Issue #2 • Interest
• Target Value
Issue #3 • Interest
• Target Value
Objective
#2
Issue #1 • Interest
• Target Value
Issue #2 • Interest
• Target Value
Issue #3 • Interest
• Target Value
Negotiation
Rules/Norms
Strategy/Approach
15
Prioritize the issues for you vs. them…
Weighted scoring is a good tool

16. It’s Not So Bad Being a “Yes Man”
●L-O-V-E means… Wanting to say Y-E-S!
●Wanting to say “yes” doesn’t mean you are a pushover
(especially if you know your BATNA and RV)
●It means you find solutions that maximize value for you,
as well as the other party
●Requires a solution-oriented,
collaborative mindset
●Requires listening and sharing…
working together
●Helps if there are MULTIPLE issues!!
Cooperative negotiations build value
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17. It’s Time to Do a Trust Fall (sort of)
●L-O-V-E means… Trust, like other good relationships
●At its most basic, a negotiation is a relationship
– Either the start or an inflection point
– Sets the path for a happy future
●Maximizing the pie requires info sharing…
This requires trust and vulnerability
●Info sharing (e.g., trust) helps identify
the full range of issues/interests
(e.g., value)
●Establish “rules” with the counterparty
Be a bridge-building value maximizer!
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18. ITW’s Enterprise Strategy at Work
Listen Up!!
●L-O-V-E means… Active listening!
●Info gathering before and during the negotiation will help
refine RV and TV and clarify issues and interests
●This means getting comfortable with being silent and
periods where no one is talking
●Too much focus on your own goals, may
cause you to miss something
●Goal is to use this info to connect the dots
and find value-maximizing solutions
Info = Power = Confidence = Listening

19. You’ve Gotta Fight for Your Rights
Interests
●L-O-V-E means… Focusing on interests
●Position = wants for each issues
●Interests = underlying motivators
●Interests influence positions
●Creative solutions can be found when true, underlying
interests are understood
●Interests help break a problem down into multiple issues
(e.g., opportunities for value/solutions)
– Integrated, multi-issue negotiation vs. distributive,
single-issue negotiation
– Pie is no longer finite or fixed, can be expanded
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20. Put Picasso to Shame When You
Negotiate
●L-O-V-E means… Getting Creative!
●It’s not just for artists, it’s also for negotiators
●Now that you L-O-V-E negotiations, you…
– … Want to say “yes”
– … Trust the other party
– … Use this trust to actively listen for solutions
– … Understand interests and create multiple issues
●Now the fun begins!
●Key factor is to maximize value by maximizing variables
Going outside of the box = bigger pie
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21. Dealing With a “Dreaded” Negotiator
●Everyone is not a collaborative
negotiator (unfortunately)
●Now what?!?
●Model the style that you want
●Show how the pie is larger with collaboration
●Leverage others that influence them
●Make the first offer to set the target zone (and tone)
●Keep calm and know your BATNA and RV
(no need for hostilities if you know your walk point)
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22. Now you L-O-V-E
– instead of dread –
negotiations
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23. Sources and Acknowledgments
– “Women Don’t Ask: The High Cost of Avoiding Negotiations”, Linda
Babcock and Sara Laschever
– “Ask For It: How Women Can Use Negotiation to Get What They
Really Want”, Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever
– “Negotiating Globally: How to Negotiate Deals, Resolve Disputes,
and Make Decisions Across Cultural Boundaries”, Jeanne M. Brett
– Kellogg School of Management Executive Education Negotiations
course (Vicki Medvec, Lea Thompson)
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24. THANK YOU
THANK YOU
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