This document discusses a news story about a prostitute in Germany who kept a lamb named Rosi as a "sex slave" for nine days. The lamb had been stolen from a zoo. The document expresses relief that Rosi has now been returned safely to the zoo and integrated back into the herd. It questions whether the prostitute practiced safe sex with Rosi and wonders about her identity, as she had stolen 26 other animals previously. The document concludes by suggesting contacting German police to identify the prostitute in case she tries to immigrate to Australia.

1. Taking things a bit too far
Russell Grenning
I’ve alwaysbeenfondof lamb – rack, loin,shoulder,shankorchop:you name it.
My late fatherwouldoftenremarkbeforewe wentto11am SundayService thatthe besttime of his
day waswhenmummythrewa legin. Once he wenta bit overboardwhenlickinghislipsatlunch
and he saidsomethingtothe effectthatno otherwomencoulddoa leglike her.My partnerhas
beenknowntodo a lambrump inthe most deliciousandinnovativeways.
What father,mypartnerand I have in common – apart from a slavishdevotiontoandhuge
admirationof me,yesme – ismostcertainlylamb. Serve itwithmintjelly,serve itwithgravyor
serve itplain;serve itgrilledorserve itroasted;serve ithotor serve itcold – all of us have delighted
inthe taste-temptingjoysof lamband,I’msure,mypartnerand I will continue toenjoythisdelicacy
for manya year.
Now,there isno delicate wayof puttingthisbutoursharedlove of lambis entirelyconditional on
the lambbeingactuallydeadandappropriatelycarvedupbefore itiscooked.
I have to say thisincase we are somehow mixedupwithacertainladyinGermany whohas been
exposedaskeepingalambas a sex slave.ThisunnamedladydescribedbyMunichpolice asa
prostitute wasdiscoveredwhentheyraidedherbrothel earlierthisyeartoseize marijuanaand
associateddrugparaphernalia.Andthere wasRosi,the lamb.
Justin case there isany doubt,our interestinlambsisanutritional one only.
It transpiresthatRosi was bornat the NurembergZooandhad to be fedbykeeperswhenher
motherdidnot suckle properly.Whenshe disappeared,itwasinitiallyfearedthatshe hadbeen
eatenbya fox or haddrownedin a streamcrossingher enclosure butnow police have revealedthat
thieveswaitedbeforestaff wenttolunchbefore kidnappingandtransportingherabout274km to
the brothel andher newowner – or shouldthatbe mistress?
I don’tknowif Rosi was namedbefore herabductionorbythe prostitute andnordo I know exactly
whatshe hadto endure as a “sex slave”andI don’twant toknow. What I have learnedisthatRosi
was keptunderlockandkey to satisfysome pervertedlustfornine days. Didthisprostitute wear
some sort of strange costume – being,as itwere,muttondressedaslamb - whenshe waswithRosi?
Gory detailscouldinduce me tobecome avegetarianandwhata waste that wouldbe since our
cavernousmeatfreezerischock-a-block.
The good news isthat Rosi issafelybackhome and a Zoo spokesmanhasannounced, “She’sdoing
wonderfully.She’sfully integrated backinto theherd.” What horrifyingstoriesshe couldtell toher
innocent,untouchedyoungchums – if Rosi startedbleating thatwouldcertainly shatterthe silence
of the lambs.
Despite thisgoodnews,Iwassomewhatunsettledbythe factthat Rosi had todo a spell in
quarantine – itleadsme to wonderif thatprostitute practicedsafe sex ornot.

2. The prostitute hasnot beenidentifiedsoIcan onlywonderif hername isMary – as in “Mary had a
little lamb...”- butshe has beenbannedfromkeepinganimals.Giventhatshe alreadyhad26 other
“creatures”– the word usedbythe German police – stolenforher,itseemsthatthisban has been
somewhattardyinitsenforcement.
No doubtaboutit,poor little Rosi hashada toughlife,rejectedbyhermotherandthensubjectto
namelessabuse so,despite myfondnessforbitsof deadlamb,she shouldbe allowedtopeacefully
live outherdays. I’dbe verycautiousfor a while aboutorderinglambfromNurembergrestaurants
or butchers – I meanyouwouldn’tknow where ithadbeen,wouldyou?
I’mthinkingaboutwritingtoour ImmigrationDepartmentandsuggestingtothemthattheycontact
Germanpolice toascertainthe identityof thisprostitute justincase she triestomigrate,temptedby
storiesabouthowfor yearsAustraliarode onthe sheep’sback.
“Baa Baa Aussiesheep,We will keep you safe,ThanksSir,ThanksSir, So no need to chafe...”