1. Holiday travel?Some unique suggestions.
Russell Grenning
If you are,like us,contemplatingyourannual Christmasholidayswhynotbe a little more
adventurousthisyear?
While I’msure that three weeksinacaravan at Byron Bay,stayingagainwithJohnand Hildain
Bendigoorevena tendaysall-inclusivebustourof New Zealandhave undoubtedattractions,why
not be a little more daringthisyear?
I’ve been – to use thatlabouredmanagementconsultantcliché –thinkingoutside of the box.Here
are some suggestionsforthose seekingadifferentholiday.Perhapsone ormore ison your bucket
list.
Now,doesn’tthissoundbothexcitingandreassuring?It’sfromthiscountry’sofficial tourism
website whichboaststhatit“is quickly becoming oneof the hottestspotsforinternationaltourism
becauseof its long history,educationaland entertaining tours,finedining and beautifulscenery.”
The rave continues, “Over400 luxury hotelsare located within the country ...coastalregionsare
dotted withfine hotels,wonderfulshopping centresand beautifulbeaches... cuisineis varied and
delicious and American and European foodsareavailableatmosthotelsand restaurantsin the major
cities...” and,to my mind,the absolute clincher, “Visitorswillbe happy to know thatdrinking water
throughoutisnaturaland safeasit arrives fromspringslocated high in themountains.”
The official tourismsloganis “Comeand seeit foryourself”andthe countryisSyria.
At lastreport,half of the country’spopulation –a total of 10.6 million people–have beenuprooted
by the civil warincluding4.1millionrefugeesabroadand6.5 millionforcedfromtheirhomes.More
than 310,000 have beenkilled.
Recently,Syria’sTourismMinister,interviewedbyCNN, “confirmed ...thatthecountry’stourism
industry had suffered a hugelossoverthe pastseveral years” but the goodnewsfromthe Ministeris
that he “expected a gradualreturn of the tourismin the nextstageand this optimismis due to
several factors,themostimportantoneis the victoriesachieved by the Syrian Army...”.
ThisupbeatassessmentwaspublishedbyhisveryownTourismDepartment.Itwouldcertainlylive
up to itsclaimto be a “hotspot”and, giventhatmillionshave fled,there shouldbe notrouble
gettingaccommodation.The downside isthatagood deal of accommodationandotherbuildingslie
inrubble.
Anotherspotoff the normal tourismtrack isSomaliaonthe “horn of Africa”.
It doeshave a Ministryof Tourism and Wildlifeandthe MinisterisHisExcellencyMohamedHussein
Saidbut,sadly,otherthan that there isnothingontheirwebsite apartfroma few randompictures
largelyof wildanimals.Eventhe jobof DeputyMinisterisvacant.

2. Until recently,the mainindustryof Somaliawaspiracy – armedgangsof thugsboardedforeignships
off theircoast andheldcrewsto ransom until actionby foreigngovernmentswhichsentnaval
vesselstoprotectmerchantshipsputa stopto it. Now the countryis dividedbywarringtribal
groupsand a Muslimterroristoutfit whichregularlykidnapandbutchereachother as well as
westernerssillyenoughtobe inthe country.
Incidentally,itis “TheDemocratic Republic of Somalia” and the governmentof whichHisExcellency
the MinisterforTourismand Wildlifeisamember,barelycontrolsthe capital,Mogadishu.
Another“DemocraticPeoples’Republic” isNorthKorea.
I cautionany Australianwhodoesvisitnottoadmitto evenknowingabout,muchlessactually
knowing, formerHighCourtjustice Michael Kirby,whoheadedamajorUN inquiryintothe appalling
humanrightscrimesperpetratedbythe regime onitsowncitizens.Perhapsif youdoadmitof
havingheardabouthim,be sure to quicklyaddthathe is an “imperialist American running dog
fascistlackey deviate”to avoidsuspiciousglancesfromyourofficial tourguide.
Because,yes,all visitingtouristgroupshave official guidesandtheyonlygotoplaceswhichare
government-approved.Andbe careful abouttakingunauthorisedsnaps –youcouldarbitrarilyget
your cameraconfiscated.Anddon’tattempttotalkto anybody whohasn’tbeenofficiallyvetted.
If you like huge statuesof the country’s leaders –the Kimdynastyhasprovidedall three of the
nation’sleaders –andif youlike quite grotesquemonumentscelebratingall sortsof allegedgreat
victories,thenthisisthe place foryou.The official governmenttourismsite alsopromiseslotsof
deliciousKoreanfoodwhichprobablydoesn’tinclude tree barkandgrasswhichisthe fare for
desperatelypoorrural peasantsduringfamines.
Mind you,if youvisitat a time whenthe governmentisstagingone of itsregularcelebrationrallies,
youwill be treatedtospectacularshowswhichmake the Nazi Nuremburg rallieslooklikesmall
school fetes.
In case you are wonderingwe are notactuallygoingto these places.Somehowwe don’tthinkour
mindswouldbe muchbroadenedif we did.