1. A woman’s prerogative...
Russell Grenning
We all accept– especiallythe ladiesand,of course,propergents– that itis a woman’sprerogative
to change her mind.
Andthisis exactlywhatanEnglishlass,ChelseaAttonleyhasdone andyet,very strangelytomy
mind,there hasbeenanabsolute tsunami of condemnation,ridicule,outrage andgeneral shockand
anger.
PoorMs Attonley,30, isnow livingonsocial securityinLondonbecause she isdepressed,anxious
and stressedbeyondbelief.Indeed, she hasadmitted, “Itis exhausting putting on make-up and
wearing heels all of the time.Even then I don’tfeel I looklike a properwoman.”
Well,I’mnoexpertonwomanlyways – whatman is?– but I didvisitherwebsite andwasrather
impressedbyhergalleryof snaps.She haswhatI understandiscalledthe “fullerfigure”andis
certainlyverybuxom andverycurvaceous – quite opulentactuallyandshe sure putsthe VEEEE into
voluptuous.One wouldgosofar as to say “Rubenesque”.
Lookingat hersnaps I suddenlyrecalledthatwhenIwas inGrade 2, our teacherwassimilarlybuilt
and if she calledyouto the frontof the classyou couldn’tsee herface if youstoodtoo closely
lookingup.Hermagnificentchestwasinvariablyencasedinblackorbrownvelvetandadornedbya
triple-strandof pearlswhichheavedalarminglywhenshe wasseizedbyastrongemotion.
So I do hope thatyou getsome ideaof what the well-structuredMsAttonleylookslike.
AnyhowMs AttonleyisprettymuchfedupwithbeingMs ChelseaAttonleyandwantstobe Mr
Matthew Attonley butdon’tgetthe ideathat Chelseaissome sortof lesbianwantingtobe aman in
the style of formerMs ChastityBono,the daughterof SonnyandCherwho isnow Mr Chaz Salvatore
Bono.In fact, until amere sevenyearsago,ChelseawasactuallyMatthew.
It’srather a longstory butI shall try and be economical withthe words.
Young Matthew,a precociousbundle if everthere wasone,likednothingmore asa kiddie than
slippingintomummy’sroomandtryingon herlipstick,makeupanddresses.Indeed,Chelseahas
postedanadorable snap of her(well,then,still him)atthe age of 6 prettyinpinkwitha short skirt
and fluffytopandthe mostextraordinarypiled-highblondwig.She –sorry,he – lookedlike ascaled
downversionof DollyParton.
Inevitably,Matthewgrewuptobe a drag queenandshe developedafixationaboutKatie Price who,
I understandasa resultof my research,isan “international glamourmodel” becauseshe saidshe is.
Matthew,thenknown(whenfrocked-up)asMissMalibu,triedeverywayhe (well,she) couldtolook
like Ms Price.
Then– oh joyof joys – one eveninginachance encounter,MissMalibugot to meetMs Price ina
nightclub. Itwasa road to Damascus moment.

2. Duringtheirbrief conversation –a highlightof whichwasMsPrice pokingMissMalibu’s verylarge
“breasts”and askingif theywere “forreal” - Ms Price said“Justgo forit” whenthe subjectof having
the big opfor the chop wasraised.While Idon’tdoubtfor a nanosecondthatMs Price is an
ornamentoncatwalksfromParis to New Yorkand beyond,Ihaven’tdiscoveredthatshe hasany
specialistknowledge aboutgenderreassignment.Icouldbe wrong.
I suppose whenitcomestomakinga sensible andinformeddecisionaboutsucha majormove,
doingitin a nightclub,nodoubtwiththe benefitof refreshment,andafterabrief chatwitha
glamoursupermodel isasgooda place as any.I met a glamoursupermodel once butIdidn’traise
thisquestion;infactitwouldhave beendifficultraisinganyquestionatall asthissupermodel was
eitherawaywiththe pixiesbecause of some substance orjustnaturallyvacuous –possiblyboth.
A mean-spiritedmedicohadalreadyturneddownMatthew’srequestforgenderreassignment and,
frankly,whatdidhe knowcomparedto Ms Katie Price? Bythe way,Ms Price is alsoknownas Jordan
– and,no,I don’t knowwhyandI couldn’tbe botheredlookingitup.
So,whenMatthewgot home he broke the news.Later, he recalled, “Ijustblurted out ‘MumI’m
going to bea woman’and sheswitched Emmerdaleoff and said ‘Abouttime!”beforegiving me a big
hug.”
While Isincerelywanttobelieve everythingChelseasays,Ifindthisrecollectiondifficulttoswallow.
What Britishmiddle-agedhousewife wouldswitchoff Emmerdalejustfora bitof familynews?
Franklyitbeggarsbelief becauseitcouldhave beenthe episode aboutthe plane crash,the bus
crash, the King’sRiverexplosionorevenSarahSugden’sdeathatthe handsof heradoptedson!
Emmerdaleranks numbertwobehind Coronation Street asthe longest-runningUKsoapand,despite
the verybesteffortsof a vast teamof writerssince 1972, it hasn’tevencome close to replicating
Matthew/Chelsea’sjourneythroughlife.
What motherwouldn’tthinksomethingis,well,abitdifferentabouthersonwhowouldreminisce
yearslater;“Even at nursery,I’d dressup in ladies’ hatsand gloves.SometimesI’d sneakinto mum’s
roomand try on her lipstick, heels and clothes.” AndwhoboughtMatthew that prettyin pinkoutfit
and blondwigwhenhe was6 – or didthe brazenlittle tyke justmarchintothe womenandgirls’
sectionof a departmentstore wavingacreditcard? Andwhotook the lovelysnapof himall dressed
up forthe familyalbum?
Havingmade the decision,Matthewgothiswayand had a 10,000 pound(aboutAU$18,500)
operationtoturn himintoChelsea.Of course itwasall on the taxpayercourtesyof Britain’sNational
HealthService.
Incidentally,Chelseaadmittedthathermumsaidthatshe had alwayssuspectedthatMatthew was
“a transgender”- I suppose herMatthew cominghome everynightinafrock,complete withmake-
up and highheelscouldhave gotmumwondering,evenif she wastransfixedby Emmerdale. Pretty
clearly,notmuchgets byMatthew/Chelsea’smum.

3. As recentlyasMarch thisyear Chelseawasall bubblyaboutherlife. “Ilovemy curvesand I am so
happy withmy body now.Isee myself as a role modelfor plus-sizewomen.You can be justassexy
with curvesasyou can be if you are skinny.Iwantto get married and havekids.I’d loveto havea
Cinderella wedding carriagejustlike Jordan.Hopefully,oneday Ican thankherforinspiring me to
becomethe person I wasborn to be,” she said.
But, sadly,ithasall endedintears.
“I havedecided it would be easier to stop fighting theway I looknaturally and accept thatI wasborn
a man physically.NowIhavedecided thatI wantto live as Matthew.Iamdesperateto havemy FF-
cup boobsremoved.Ican’tafford to havethisdoneprivately,so I amhoping to havetheop on the
NHS,”she said.In case youhave forgottenthe NHS – Britain’sNational HealthService –meansthe
taxpayerandthissurgerywill costaboutfourteenthousandpounds,about AU$26,000.
What on earthhad happenedIwondered?DidChelseahave anothernightclubchance encounter
withanotherinternationalsupermodel whotookone lookandbeganlaughinghysterically?We will
neverreallyknow.
Her latestconfessiondoesn’texactlyexplainwhythere isnow aneedto reverse the reversal.
“I havealwayslonged to be a woman butno amountof surgery can giveme an actual femalebody
and I feel thatI am living a lie. I can’tworkatthe momentbecauseI amtoo upsetafter whatIhave
been through.Ineed theseoperationsforthesakeof my mental health,”she said.
Hang on a second – weren’tthe genderreversal operationsjustsevenyearsagoforthe sake of then
Matthew’smental health?Butthatiswater underthe bridge now of course.
“I’mlucky enough to live in a country wherethere is freehealth care.I know I need these changesto
makeme happy and no oneshould deny methat,”she said.Havingtakenthislatestdecision,
Chelsea–yes,she isstill ChelseabecauseMatthew changedhisname legallyafterthe first
operationsand,asfar as we know,hasn’tgot aroundto changingit legallybacktoMatthew – has
startedtakingtestosterone tobeginthe processof becomingaman again.
She isalso consideringhavingpenisreconstructionsurgeryasyouwould,of course.
There’snoneedforme to quote any of the commentsof outrage thatthe Britishmediahave
produced – you can guess – but whatI’m reallywaitingforissomethingfromMsPrice – aka Jordan.
Maybe she coulddono betterthanrecycle her “Just go forit” encouragement?
Andspare a thoughtforChelsea/Matthew’smum –the poor womanmustbe inemotional turmoil
and evenstrickenwithgrief andself-reproachmentbutat leastshe hasone certaintyinher life –
Emmerdale.