2. stupid choices have caused. I am not belittling beauty, but cautioning you that
physical attraction alone does not provide a very solid foundation for marriage. As
Solomon said, “As a jewel of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a fair woman who is
without discretion.” I agree with this unambiguous saying. I second it.
Unfortunately, many young women marry men who are handsome, rich,
or popular, and then, become grumpy that they have married bastards. It is no
surprise that these couples divorce after some months of marriage. Young women,
which would you prefer—a man with an impeccable character or a handsome man
who has no moral values? Handsomeness is temporary, but character is everlasting.
A person with good character is one who walks on the honest path in life.
It does not count if another person is not doing the same; it counts if you are not
acting honestly. It does not count if another person chooses to engage in cheap
talk; it counts if you choose to engage in gobbledygook. It does not count if
another person chooses to lacquer over his mistakes; it counts if you choose to
mask your mistakes. It does not count if another person chooses to do some
conniving; it counts if you choose to get involved in shenanigans. It does not count
if another person chooses not to nourish the hope of building a good reputation; it
counts if you choose not to build a good name. In short, people of good character
are little bothered by what others do. They self-evaluate a lot and mind their own
business.
Character flaw
We cannot escape the obvious question: can we claim to be perfect in
every way? Nope. It is almost impossible to find even one person who is not
flawed in some way. By those standards, we all have flawed characters. Perhaps, it
is not realistic to expect to have a flawless character. A character flaw is a
personality defect that brings disgrace and guilt. Consider a major flaw like a
ferocious temper—it creates a black mark on our character. Our reputation, built
through years of labor, is torpedoed. The key is to make a long and determined
attempt to lessen our flaws. As we reduce our flaws to a negligible proportion, we
tend to improve as individuals.
Many people sham to be individuals of good character. They try to get
in the good graces of people. They act nice and sweet. On closer inspection,
however, one can discover that there is decay in their moral standards. They
camouflage their tawdry secrets. They are misleading demigods to people.
3. However ultimately, situations lead to their unmasking. The world comes to know
about their seedy character. All bad things should come to an end, and so they will.
Pointers for parents to build a child’s character
(1) Intersperse praise with constructive criticism.
(2) Create a thoughtful atmosphere at home.
(3) Spy on what your child is looking at on the Internet. Remember, scads of
teenagers have fallen prey to something called “sexting.” It involves
sending suggestive or sexual images through mobile phones, which can
then be posted on the Internet or forwarded to other people.
(4) Give equal emphasis to intellectual and moral development.
(5) Document each step of your child’s development.
(6) Insulate him from the disturbing news in the mass media.
(7) Teach him to behave with proper manners.
(8) Shore up his confidence when he is feeling low.
(9) Do not coddle him too much. Expose him to the real, tough side of life.
(10) Give him creative freedom.
(11) Teach him proper money sense.
(12) Say “No” to severe punitive measures.
(13) Play “Call of Duty” and “Ultimate Alliance,” games about
superheroes, with your child.
(14) Do not compare your child with his counterparts.
(15) Kindle his interest in best-selling books like Mr. Gum and
Dancing Bear by Andy Stanton, Just William by Richmal
4. Crompton, Mary Poppins by Travers, and Five Children and It by
Edith Nesbit.
Importance of character
There is a phrase that goes like this: “A tree must be bent while it is
young,” which implies that you cannot teach new tricks to an old dog. If you want
to teach something to somebody, start when he is young. It is always easy to plant
good, newer and newer ideas in the malleable minds of children.
The character of a person is dependent on the social environment, which
includes parents, friends, teachers, and the people around us. For example, take the
individual cases of Esmeralda and Bethany. Esmeralda had the privilege of being
born to caring and responsible parents. They inculcated a strict code of right and
wrong in her. On the other hand, Bethany grew up in a turbulent atmosphere. She
reveled in the company of people who lacked social graces. Now, do you expect
the character of Esmeralda to overlap with that of Bethany? Not even a distant
possibility.
The spotlight is always on us
In more ways than one, the spotlight is always on us as far as our morals,
ethics, and responsibilities are concerned. Consider this scenario: an elder brother
tells his younger brother that pornography subverts young minds. But the irony lies
here: in the middle of the night, when his family is deep in sleep, the elder brother
surreptitiously opens his laptop and browses through porn sites. He himself has a
lecherous mentality (a satyr). Hypocrisy! Let us practice what we preach. Let our
actions match our words. There should be no cloak of secrecy around our actions.
We are always accountable to God. Omnipresent, omnipotent, and omniscient God
oversees our activities. Therefore, let us do nothing wrong that will cause us to
sink into a miasma of despair. Be true to yourself and to God.
Adversity builds a person’s character
As a child, Connor lived in one of New York’s poorest ghettos. He lost his
mother when he was just two years old. From then on, his father raised him single
handedly. When he reached 19 years of age, by the strange irony of fate, he lost his
father too. A huge abyss, so to speak! Stress kept mounting in his mind, so much
5. so that he fell into a clinical depression. His neighbors immediately rushed him to a
nearby general hospital. A reputable, personable psychiatrist treated him privately
for months without charging a penny. Finally, upon being discharged from the
hospital (after all his psychological wounds had healed), Connor headed straight to
his neighborhood in the ghetto, but what he saw was a new, squat-shaped building.
He was numb with shock, as it meant he had no shelter and would be forced to live
in public parks or in gas station restrooms. He started traipsing from place to place,
looking for a job. He experienced a lot of difficulties in job hunting (his lack of
education became an obstacle in finding a job), but he did not throw in the towel.
One day, he did get a job in a nightclub in New York, but it paid low wages, which
meant a hand-to-mouth existence for him. After working for 17 years in that
nightclub, he developed the financial capability to open a small nightclub himself.
He worked very hard, and in nine years time, he had earned so much money that he
could afford to open a large, high-class nightclub. A big venture like this translated
into bigger profits. With his financial insecurity gone, Connor is now having the
time of his life. In a line, he rose like a proverbial phoenix from the ashes.
Moral of the story: no matter how bad the circumstances may be, you
should never buckle under pressure. Be kind enough to give yourself chances to
succeed. With enough self-belief and considerable efforts, miracles can happen.
Character and integrity
“The bedrock of character is integrity.”
- Richard G. Scott
As generation next’s greed grows, many people fall into deplorable money-
making ways. They want to become rich by hook or by crook (materialistic
hedonism). Money means everything to them. But what they do not know or tend
to be blind to is that, in reality, when they walk on this path, moral soundness is
lost. Self-respect falls flat on the ground. Shame rules their lives. To sum up in a
few words, weakness of character becomes an inevitable corollary of their
dishonest motives and activities.
Unethical businessmen and over-the-top corrupt politicians may have
sumptuous wealth. But of what use is it? They have scandals hanging over their
heads like clouds. They cannot walk tall with confidence and pride. Their guilt
6. complex leaves them high and dry. Without character and integrity, success is
meaningless.
Be a person of the highest integrity. Keep your promise(s). Never let people
down. Do not take shortcuts. Have a clear conscience. Always be in touch with
your moral values.
The difference between a successful person and a successful human being
Balthazar was the proud child of multimillionaire parents (his mother had
two miscarriages before she gave birth to him). He had a heritage of affluence
and social position. He was literally born with a silver spoon in his mouth. Each
demand of his was met immediately. But he had some really serious gaps in his
character—slangs, cornball humor, and two-timing had honeycombed his life.
He also had long dank hair and an insolent look in his eyes. The only saving
grace was his burning desire to succeed. After graduating with an M.B.A. from
Columbia University, Balthazar decided to work in his father’s manufacturing
company based in Cologne, Germany, making machines that churned out 60%
of the world’s spark plugs. (In Europe, for example, manufacturing accounts for
nearly a fifth of gross domestic product.) With a highly qualified staff to fall
back on, Balthazar learned the minutiae of his father’s business. In no time,
there was steep growth all round. Happy with Balthazar’s intellectual prowess,
his father handed him three-quarters of the responsibility for the company.
Grabbing this opportunity with both hands, Balthazar hired more innovative
people, established good connections, and changed the economic landscape of
his company. He himself became a multimillionaire within a span of five years.
His name was included in the who’s who of top German businessmen.
Undeniably, he became a successful person, but where did his original core
elements go? They remained with him throughout his lifetime. A leopard
cannot change its spots! From the viewpoint of those in the outside world, he
was successful, but as far as his morality was concerned, he was a “fiasco.”
Nicholas was a venerable medical practitioner in Norwich. He treated his
patients with kindness and concern. His heart ached with pity for
underprivileged people. The patients who visited him for their illnesses found
solace and bliss in his company. Nicholas did clinical practice for 50 years, or
thereabouts, and treated a galaxy of patients in the process. What everyone had
to say about Nicholas was, “He was not just a humdinger of a medical
practitioner but also a messiah of the poor. He was a man of substance and not
7. of the page three variety.” Well, today Nicholas is not here with us (he died at
the turn of the 20th century), but his deeds are unforgettable.
Hence, after reading the above examples, we can conclude that becoming
a successful human being is far more important than becoming a successful
person. If you ask me, I want my epitaph to read: “Here was a fella who was
punctilious in his manners and had insatiable curiosity.”
