1. Attitude
The ever-intriguing question: We are all endowed with diverse
potentialities and have a multitude of aspirations in life, but at the end of the
day only some of us become successful, while others are left to do the catch-
up work. Now let us figure out the reason for this: A person is only as good
as his attitude. Attitude always calls the shots. Cogitate about the following
situations:
(1) An immensely talented doctor has problems in getting along with his
hospital staff.
(2) A husband, once besotted with his wife, cannot stand her anymore.
As a result, their domestic atmosphere is simmering with ill will (it is
an aural and visual extravaganza for neighbors).
(3) A manager does not have the support and backing of his
subordinates.
(4) A film actor has reservations about working with a particular
director.
(5) A political behemoth (his finely tuned political antennae help him to
sense problems that less-experienced politicians might not detect) is
washing the dirty linen of his rival in the full glare of the public eye.
These are the words of my friend that ring in my ear whenever the
term “attitude” is mentioned: “Attitude is my priceless possession.” These
words deserve the highest praise!
Attitude is best described by these words:
(1) Temperament
(2) Mental outlook
(3) Way of thinking
(4) Mentality
2. More than 2,000 years ago, the Greek philosopher Epictetus wrote,
“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” Let me
give you an example of what I mean by the idea mentioned above. Stephen
joined a software company as a junior software engineer for a low salary
(initially). He was an eternal optimist. He had patience and gave whatever
work he did his best shot. His philosophy of life was, “Work not just to earn
paychecks, end-of-the-year bonuses, and perks, but to your heart’s delight.”
His friends Curtis, Esteban, Caiden, and Cory also worked at the same
company. Within 8 months, Stephen got a raise or a promotion. But his
friends continued to cruise along in the same old situation. They wondered if
Stephen had mesmerized his superiors with his saccharine talks. But this
idea was just a figment of their imaginations. Year after year, Stephen went
from strength to strength but that kind of action was missing in his friends’
lives. He became the darling of his boss. He was even labeled as “Mr.
Dependable” (It wasn’t a misnomer.). His friends could not make sense of
why they were where they were, and why he had gone so far. The trick that
continued to work for Stephen was his positive attitude. After he added some
more good years to his stint with the company, he went on to acquire the top
position in the company. His friends, even to this day, are trying hard to
solve this puzzle. But I have the answer for you: we don’t see things as they
are; we see things as we are. We interpret our experiences, labeling them as
good or bad. However, our interpretations do not necessarily have an effect
on reality; they just have an effect on us.
Attitude for career success
Career success is not just about your education, talents, support at work,
skills, and experience, it is also about your attitude at work.
Illustration
Alysa and Shayna applied for a job (as a .NET developer) at a company.
They both had hands-on experience with C#, XML, VB.NET, ASP.NET,
and SQL server. They possessed mind-blowing communication skills, both
oral and written, and also good problem-solving abilities (developing
strategies to anticipate and solve problems in advance).
D-day
3. Alysa was called in for a behavioral interview. She was overwhelmed by a
lot of tricky questions that were intended to bring out the best in her. The
process lasted for 35 minutes.
Now it was Shayna’s turn. She was also interviewed in the same tough-
as-nails manner. But unlike Alysa (a softie), Shayna was a tough cookie. She
handled the questions tactfully and was able to project herself very well.
Interviewers’ verdict: Shayna outscored Alysa in terms of her world-
class attitude. They liked her energy and spirit. Alysa’s attitude was termed a
“downer.” She was lousy and unenthusiastic in her approach.
Final outcome: Shayna clinched the job (a real cash cow)
We are people who are eager to develop only a positive attitude;
therefore, the focus now shifts to addressing a “positive attitude.”
Positive attitude
A positive attitude is a way of thinking positively that says, “I take
personal responsibility for the decisions I make, I attract high-quality things
to my life, and I am always brimming with confidence.”
I stay positive by
(1) Reading inspiring books (of all genres).
(2) Listening to motivational tapes.
(3) Reciting inspirational quotes to myself.
A simple yet powerful method to have a positive attitude:
Say “no” to finding faults in things; instead, be a person who seeks a
solution to a problem. As far as I am concerned, I abhor the word
“problem.” Instead, I want to refer it as a “challenge” (a word that
plays a cardinal role in the making of a successful person). Therefore,
never say, “Yuck, I have got a problem,” but instead say, “Gee, I
4. have got an exciting challenge.” The idea involved here is “self-talk.”
Change your self-talk, and it will make a world of difference in your
attitude.
Silas is a tennis player and has been ranked number one for many
years. He has many Grand Slam titles (the Australian Open, 3 times; the
French Open, 2 times; Wimbledon, 4 times, and the U.S. Open, 2 times) to
his credit, thus making him invincible in his sport. What is so special about
him that puts him in a different league altogether? He hits the gym regularly,
goes swimming (a sort of half-hearted dog paddle) on Saturdays and
Sundays, practices his shots (serve, forehand, backhand, volley, half volley,
overhead smash, drop shot, and lob) with his trainer for 6–8 hours a day,
meditates for half an hour, and devotes “thinking time” to laying out game
plans for each tournament, match, and opponent. He plays each match as if
his life depends on it. His sex appeal, bulging biceps, magical timing of
shots, engaging smile, ground coverage, and the power behind his shots
make him a superpower in men’s tennis. All in all, he is a great, well-
rounded player to watch on the tennis court. Is it any surprise then that
nobody wants to miss the slightest bit of action when this player is playing?
Once, during a post-match interview, he spelled out the reason for his
invincibility: “I never say die come hell or high water. I always play tough.
Aggression comes naturally to me. It is in my DNA. My mind is always
focused on positive outcomes. Because, I know that only by being positive
can I play my natural game. A positive attitude is my potent weapon.”
There is no magic pill to develop a positive attitude overnight. It takes a
lot of effort, but it is worth its weight in gold. It is the greatest asset you can
feel proud of at any time. Hence, my dear friends, adopt a positive attitude
and experience the positive happenings that will result in your life.
A positive attitude says: You can achieve success.
Positive Attitude: Positive Results.
Difference in the attitudes of two people
Ralph Waldo Emerson hit the nail on the head when he said, “To different
minds, the same world is a hell, and a heaven.”
5. Onan and Sener were college friends. Both of them finished their
M.B.B.S with impressive grades. They decided to do P.G. at a foreign
university (outside their non-English speaking country). They took the
PLAB (Professional and Linguistic Assessments Board) and TOEFL (Test
Of English as a Foreign Language) exams. Because they knew their medical
studies backward and forward, passing the PLAB was a piece of cake for
them, but the TOEFL (CBT – the computer-based TOEFL) proved to be a
challenge.
On a scale of 0-300 on the CBT, Onan and Sener got 160 and 168,
respectively (not good enough for admission). Both of them did miserably
on all the four sections of the CBT: listening comprehension (0-30 scale),
structure/grammar (0-30 scale), reading comprehension and vocabulary (0-
30 scale), and essay writing (0-6 scale).
Onan took it as a personal responsibility to learn the nuances of the
English language. First, he developed a passion for English. He read a lot of
English-language dailies: the San Francisco Chronicle, the Mercury News,
the Newark (New Jersey)-based Star-Ledger, the Washington Post, The Wall
Street Journal, and The New York Times, and read stories/news items (that
he found interesting) for 10-15 minutes every day. He befriended Harry,
who was proficient in English, and conversed with him regularly, as well as
bought a good dictionary and watched English-language movies once a
week. Over time, Onan mastered the English language, both oral and
written. Once this happened, he retook the CBT and scored 275 (much to his
delight). Sener, on the other hand, did precious little to become better
prepared. Though he made attempt after attempt, his CBT scores went on a
downward spiral. This spilled over into his personal life too. He could not
think with a clear mind. He kept dwelling on the past. He was at sea, not
knowing what to do next. To sum up in a few words, his life changed for the
worse. Shockingly, he was sent to a mental health institution three times for
mental breakdowns (blame it on his fragile mental strength). Two men.
Same circumstances. One came out on top of the situation, and the other
played into the hands of it. What was the difference? Their attitude. That’s
all. Just their attitude.
What goes in, must come out
Timothy was standing in a long queue to pay his telephone bill. It was a sun-
kissed atmosphere and a congested place in which to stand. The going was
6. very slow, thanks to the inefficient telephone clerk, and the customers, all
sweating profusely (to the point of dehydration), were getting restless,
impatient, and frustrated, and were yelling at the clerk. But he went about
his business without a care in the world. Timothy had no issues with the
clerk, however. He kept his cool and balance. Sure enough, after 4 hours of
long, patient waiting, Timothy was within reach of the counter, when the
clerk announced, “It’s lunch break, see you after the break.” Timothy
continued standing there without uttering a peep. After having a strawberry
yogurt during his hour-long lunch break, the clerk returned to his work.
Because Timothy was now the first person standing in the line after the
clerk’s break, the clerk asked him, “Well, how has your day been?” Timothy
shook his head and said, “I am having a great day!” The clerk was stupefied
by this answer and again asked, “Why are you so fortunate to be having a
great day today?” Timothy smiled and replied, “I always have great days. I
quit having those bad days years ago.”
The above illustration teaches us that Timothy had programmed his
mind in a positive way. As a result, he had become an overtly positive
person. A great guy indeed!
Reversal from a negative attitude to a positive attitude
Switching from a negative attitude to a positive attitude is no picnic. A
long-standing habit of negative thinking (formed by deep-rooted negative
beliefs) needs to be replaced with high-quality beliefs (at the subconscious
level). For this, you need to commit to allowing positive thoughts into your
mind on a daily basis (forcibly, to start with), then, with the passing of time
and with patience and persistence, positive thoughts will begin to outnumber
negative thoughts. As a result, negative thoughts get dislodged from your
mind, and you will emerge as a positive person. Thus, with a positive
attitude, you will feel stronger and better. You might even not be able to
help thinking, “Why didn’t I swear by a positive outlook a long time ago?”
A positive attitude:
(1) Helps to widen your social circle.
(2) Pushes you to innovate regularly, “Push the envelope.”
7. (3) Provides a fighting spirit.
(4) Makes you a “smart thinker.”
(5) Keeps your self-worth at a high point.
(6) Instills confidence in your actions.
(7) Keeps you high-spirited.
(8) Sets you up for a successful mission in life.
(9) Encourages you to cultivate good habits.
(10) Gives you a likeable personality.
Here are some questions about a positive attitude that will give you food for
thought
(1) Is a positive attitude a silver bullet that will solve all your
problems? Certainly not, but it gives you the confidence and
courage to face those uninvited guests (difficulties) that
continually knock at our doors on a regular basis.
(2) Will you become stinking rich from a positive attitude? Yes,
attitude is an important aspect (but not the only aspect) in a
person’s financial success.
(3) Is a positive attitude a “must” for everyday life? Yes, you
cannot imagine life without a positive attitude. The long list of
benefits that a positive attitude brings with it cannot be
outnumbered by anything else in the world.
(4) Can a positive attitude make all your dreams turn into a
reality? Why not! It can certainly lay down a roadmap for
where you can start your journey and where you can
travel…until you fulfill your dream(s).
8. Do you want to be rocking in your life? Develop a positive
attitude and just chill.
Optimism: The tonic for a positive attitude
Optimism helps stave off difficulties, annoyance, anxiety, and
uneasiness…. It helps a person to maintain self-control, even in times
when his life is in a shambles. Scientific evidence reveals that the
recovery rate (from illnesses) of optimists is faster than that of
pessimists. So optimism rocks! It does good not only to your mental
health but also to your physical well-being. It pays 10/10 times and
surely is the tonic for a positive attitude.
Synonyms: Hopefulness, Cheerfulness, Positivism, Confidence
Health snippet: I once read an article about a study at King’s
College Hospital in London, England. It was conducted among cancer
patients who had undergone mastectomies. Researchers at the hospital
tracked the progress of fifty-seven women. Of the ones who had a positive
attitude when they were diagnosed with cancer, seven out of ten were still
alive ten years later. But of the ones who felt a sense of hopelessness during
diagnosis, eight out of ten had died.
Optimists
(1) When faced with a difficulty, take the bull by the horns.
(2) Are bounce-back believers.
(3) Search for a silver lining in the dark clouds.
(4) View the hard blows in life as short-term, fleeting troubles.
(5) Are surrounded by friends because of their positive, self-
assured, and gleeful demeanor.
Pessimists
9. (1) When faced with a difficulty, run for cover.
(2) Meekly surrender to the situation.
(3) Are always ill at ease about the dark clouds hovering over
them, and they do nothing.
(4) View small obstacles as permanent spoilers of their lives.
(5) Are loners. They have an antisocial mind-set.
Pragmatic and workable tips to build a positive attitude
(1) Learn from setbacks
Everyone, without exception, has crosses to bear and hits that bump
in the road. This is just the way life is. What sets people apart is how they
react to that bump. Are you one to spin out of control in despair? Or do you
grab a hold of that steering wheel and steer yourself straight? Whenever you
are faced with setbacks or stumbling blocks (in your relationship—a
tempestuous relationship; your career—an unsatisfying career; your health—
declining health; your finances—unstable finances), view them as learning
experiences that are rich in lessons. The person who takes the rough with the
smooth becomes a balanced, mature specimen.
I have it in me: the “What can I learn from it?” approach towards
setbacks, but what about you?
(2) Always be grateful for what you have
Consider the following examples of ungrateful people:
(a) Darrius thinks his house is not big as Makhi’s.
(b) Tyshawn is discontented because his car is less expensive than
Deshaun’s.
10. (c) Guadalupe is annoyed that his business is not thriving as much
as Arnav’s.
Darrius, Tyshawn, Guadalupe are people who do not value the
things that they have. They are dissatisfied and over-aspiring.
Tip: Create your own personal gratitude journal and enumerate
the blessings you have: an upbeat mood, strong relationships, a
positive frame of mind, resilience, a serene domestic atmosphere, a
close-knit family, a flourishing career, trustworthy friends…This
exercise may look simple, but it will do wonders for your attitude.
Say with humbleness:
Thank you, Lord, for all the blessings that you give me—my
health, my family, my children, my work, my friends, and
everything, God!!
(3) Store only good things in your memory bank
As I nostalgically take a walk down memory lane, the following
names (with their positive features) come to my mind in the
twinkling of an eye.
(a) Mateo – with a showstopper of a smile and a mastery of witty
banter.
(b) Reginald – whose brain runs with tremendous horsepower and
who has the ability to speak from the bottom of his heart.
(c) Gunnar – a guy whose unassuming nature can win over
anybody and who knows the art of making marmalade for his
family.
(d) Ezequiel – a crisis man and a problem solver to the hilt.
(e) Rocco – known for his sense of style, from his double-breasted
suits to his accessories like a pocket handkerchief, a silk tie, and
John Lobb shoes.
11. (f) Jamison – a person, rather, a genius (in every sense of the term),
who makes dance look so easy that anybody can think of shaking a
l eg .
(g) Reese – a damsel famous for her “hypnotic eyes” and for
having a cool, seductive charm.
(h) Levi – a man of many talents. A professional drummer and
singer. He is also a professional narrator for the U.S. Library of
Congress, and has recorded a number of audio books for the blind. An
honors graduate in religious studies, specializing in Chinese Buddhist
history.
It has been eons since I first met these beautiful people, but their
memories are mint fresh. This is the beauty of feeding positive things into
one’s mind. They never get wiped away (even after years and years), and
can be easily “downloaded” from your memory.
(4) Root out self-limiting beliefs
Noah is a wimp. He considers himself inept at his work. Every
night he goes to sleep with tears in his eyes. He is not taking steps
to address the issue of a “low self-concept.” Unfortunately, he has
conditioned himself to think “I am deadly dull, I’ll remain this
way.”
Noah is symbolic of many who lack confidence or have little
confidence. But the tragedy is, with this kind of mind-set, the
disadvantages are unimaginable.
Solution: Ask yourself why you feel inferior to others. Dismiss
thoughts that whittle away at your self-confidence. Elicit the
unnoticed, hidden, and bright features of your personality and
bring them out. Learn the skills that are imperative for success.
With everyday efforts, you’ll outshine yourself.
(5) Acquaint yourself with the ploy of triumphing over problems:
12. The ravages of remaining cowed by problems for a long time
can cause deep psychic wounds. It becomes next to impossible to
lead life smoothly. The huge burden makes you break out in a
cold sweat. To add insult to the injury, you get caught in a vicious
circle of fault-finding and worrying.
Take a piece of paper and divide it into three columns (in the
following format):
Area Problems Solutions
Family -- -- --- --- -- --- --- --- ---
Health ------------- - --- --- --- ---
Job -------------- --- --- -- --- ---
Academics -------------- --- --- - --- --- ---
Don’t allow distractions to rattle your composure. Grapple with
the problems by keeping a cool head. See the problems as
exciting challenges rather than the end of the road (just what the
doctor ordered!). With an open mind and clear-eyed observation,
look for the opportunities in the problems. Surely, you will be
able to unearth them sooner or later.
In the face of any number of problems, keep your level of
perseverance high.
(6) Do not listen to the merchants of doom
Once a running contest was arranged for a pool of tiny frogs,
whose objective was to make it to the apex of a skyscraper. A large
cluster of people gathered around the tower to see the race and
whoop it up for the participants…The race began…Candidly: Not a
living soul present there gave the tiny frogs a chance of proving
their mettle. They were skeptical and uttered statements such as:
“No way these frogs are going to get there,” and “This Herculean
task is beyond their grasp.” The little frogs, who realized what they
13. were up against, kept plugging away and exerting every bit of
effort, but all they could only manage to do was fall down (one by
one) like a house of cards. Ultimately, these little creatures got
fagged out and gave up. But there was an exception. One
diminutive frog, after a marathon effort, was the only one who
reached the top.
Now comes the $64,000 question: How did this frog manage to
reach its goal? The answer is rooted in the fact that the winner was
DEAF. Here is a timeless piece of advice for you: when you train
your sights on something, go all out to achieve it. In the process, if
any kind of sarcasm starts to filter into your journey, just tune it
out. Stay focused and complete your mission.
Achievers vs. failures
(1) Achievers have their minds imbued with positive feelings;
Failures have their minds saddled with negative feelings.
(2) Achievers work from dawn to dusk, seven days a week;
Failures are indolent.
(3) Achievers welcome constructive criticism(s);
Failures cannot brook criticism(s).
(4) Achievers are tough;
Failures are namby-pamby.
(5) Achievers have a vivid, mental picture about their journey of
life;
Failures are meandering through their lives.
(6) Achievers perform actions that take them forward;
Failures take retrograde steps.
(7) Achievers have mental flexibility;
Failures have dyed-in-the-wool, out-of-step ideas.
(8) Achievers are intelligent risk takers;
14. Failures are yellow-bellied.
(9) Achievers have a why-not attitude;
Failures have a what-if attitude.
(10) Achievers know how to reinvent themselves;
Failures don’t have a clue as how to recover from a life
crisis.
(11) Achievers have swashbuckling confidence going their
way;
Failures are underconfident.
(12) Achievers are trendsetters;
Failures are trend followers.
(13) Achievers keep their cool amid difficult situations;
Failures feel the heat when beleaguered by situations.
(14) Achievers pay undivided attention to their work;
Failures are inept at work.
(15) Achievers are good at thinking on their feet;
Failures are slow-witted.
Wrap-up
Things tumble. Life appears murky. The future looks precarious. But as
long as you maintain a positive attitude, nothing can chafe your
psychological balance. Trillions of words can be penned down while giving
inspiring advice, but the words that spearhead the list have to be positive
attitude. Hence, in every situation of life, keep your positive attitude intact.
If it is replaced by a fleeting negativism, rediscover the positivism through
whole-hearted efforts, self-contemplation, and inspiring books. A newfound
surge of positive energy helps to tone down negative circumstances. A
positive attitude acts as a protective shield against the difficulties of life (just
as ozone acts as a protective shield against the ultra-violet rays of the sun;
ozone is the earth’s primary filter for ultraviolet radiation). Be good. Think
and act positive.