1. Mikaela Haley
October 26, 2014
MC 388
Document Analysis Paper
1
Intimate Sexual Partner Violence and Abuse Today
Intimate Partner Violence is a reality for many men and women in relationships due to a
societal emphasis on gender norms creating an environment in which violence is allowed to
continue. American gender roles have perpetuated rape and violence by providing the
appearance that men are overly-sexual beings and that wives should tend to their husband’s
needs. Women are viewed as the being who must set the limits during intimacy, but men are
conflicting-constantly lusting over the woman. Gender norms convinced a society that men and
women conflict sexually, and because of this, violence ensues.
The Healing Center is a website published in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, dedicated to
providing information and support for victims of intimate partner abuse. It provides information
to the victim on how to tell if they have been abused, and provides sources for further
information as well as free support groups for victims throughout this year. The Healing Center’s
support website confirms that gender norms are harmful by counteracting them on their a page
entitled “Myths v. Facts”, they confront common statements like “Women say ‘no’ but mean
yes”, “a husband cannot rape his wife” and “women have no reasons to claim rape if they
previously had sexual contact with the acquaintance or are not a virgin” (TheHealingCenter.org).
The center specifically blames gender for the first cited statement claiming “Women and girls are
socially conditioned to be hard to get” (TheHealingCenter.org). Women are supposed to follow
sexual nuances: being hard to get, but not too hard, and being sexual enough to please their man,
but not too sexual as to be a whore. The cite claims that these nuances confuse men, making
them think that many denials are in fact just “playing hard to get”.
The website differentiates between rape and abuse by a partner versus a stranger clearly:

2. Mikaela Haley
October 26, 2014
MC 388
Document Analysis Paper
2
“…it is a physical and sexual violation and a huge betrayal of trust. The person who is
assaulting you is a person whom you thought you knew intimately, and with whom you
share a history and possibly a home and/or children…Intimate partner sexual violence is
so destructive because it betrays the fundamental basis of the relationship, calling into
question everything you thought you knew about your partner, the relationship, and even
yourself. You end up feeling betrayed, humiliated, and very confused”
(thehealingcenter.org)
Intimate Partner Violence is particularly traumatizing because of the level of trust the
victim had felt for their attacker. Rape by a partner is further traumatizing because unlike a rape
by the stranger, the victim must see her attacker frequently and may even live with her rapist.
Furthermore, considering the victim is in a relationship with the attacker, it is likely that the
attacker has had appealing characteristics and has gained the affection or even love of the victim.
This leads to a confusing state of mind because the victim becomes torn between the man that
loved her and cared for her, and the man that abused her (McOrmond-Plummer, 30-35). The fact
that the victim is in a relationship with their attacker creates confusion for many victims because
of previous consensual actions and a trust between partners that previously existed. The notion
that women are to serve their male counterparts remains in society today; women who deny their
men risk being blamed for their own attacks because they were not tending to their partner.
Due to the confusion that many victims feel, the website explains what acts are
considered intimate partner violence, such as coercion into sex, the forcing of sex by holding the
victim down, or sexually torturing and humiliating the victim (thehealingcenter.org). Much of
the confusion is a result of the presumptions of what a woman’s role is in a marriage. Louise

3. Mikaela Haley
October 26, 2014
MC 388
Document Analysis Paper
3
McOrmond-Plummer explains how gender roles mold perceptions of wrong and right in
marriage: “…women who have experienced IPVS may not know that they were raped because
they, too, have been socialized to accept stranger rape as real rape” (McOrmond-Plummer, 33).
Women have been told that as a wife, they are supposed to serve their husbands, even sexually.
If the victim had not wanted sex and their husband forced it upon them, many victims and
attackers, as well as third parties, might consider it as a punishment for not performing their duty
as a wife, or even the husband taking what is his. Male entitlement reinforces notions that
women are supposed to serve men, that they are property.
Male entitlement is displayed in Sex in the Heartland by Beth Bailey, focusing on the
1950s-1970s, numerous times by emphasizing the sexual needs of men and the task of the wife
to abide by those needs but also to limit men when unwed: “…men and women were
fundamentally different creatures, with different roles and interests in sex. In sex, as in life,
proponents of this ideological system insisted, women were the limit setters and men the
aggressors” (Bailey, 76). Referring to men as aggressive in such a matter-of-fact way only
enables a culture in which men attacking women could continue because instead of it only being
viewed as a crime, it becomes viewed as a natural state.
Bailey further reveals a concept of over-sexual males that cannot control themselves by
quoting a psychiatrist who blamed women for their own attacks: “…a woman sometimes plays a
big part in provoking her attacker by the way she dresses, her actions and overall attitude and
appearance” (Bailey, 198). Here, men appear to have no will power and become so turned on
because of what the woman is wearing or saying that they must have sex with her, even if it is
not wanted by the women. This also displays male entitlement because it is saying “women

4. Mikaela Haley
October 26, 2014
MC 388
Document Analysis Paper
4
promote rape by turning on their attackers. How dare she turn him on and then say ‘no’?” Men
are conditioned by society to be sexual figures whom pride themselves on their sexual
explorations, whereas women are supposed to only be sexual enough to please their husbands,
but not too sexual as to be viewed as a prostitute or whore. As a result, some men have found
that their “uncontrollable urges” are a valid excuse for sexual assault and rape. Because women
are expected to please their husbands, then it appears as reasonable that rape could not be
legitimate if by a husband, considering he was taking what appeared to be his own property.
It takes generations two change social norms, making it possible that gender norms have
not shifted significantly since Bailey’s writing. The struggles of the Sexual Revolution remain
today because the generations from the 1950s and 1970s are still alive and teaching their kin
what is expected of them in society. Traditional ways of thinking, although appearing outdated,
remain in America today: media continues to portray women as serving to men’s needs sexually,
home economics classes are still considered mainly female classes, in which women take care of
cooking and cleaning for their future husbands, and the old saying “boys will be boys” still rings
true today when talking about male children who have done something wrong. Gender norms
have been established decades ago for America, and traditional thinking underlays many realities
of the present time.
Gender norms have played a further role in intimate partner violence by imposing an
environment in which men constantly have to reinforce their masculinity, as shown by Elizabeth
Mansley’s Intimate Partner Violence: Race, Social Class and Masculinity: “It’s hard to be a
man. You’ve got to prove it constantly…Women are told to be emotional. We fight all the time
because women want us to be emotional…they trying to force us. The only way I know how to

5. Mikaela Haley
October 26, 2014
MC 388
Document Analysis Paper
5
react to force is with more force, with violence” (Mansley, 1). Men’s constant necessity in
`proving their masculinity enforces an idea that solving issues by violence or brute force is
acceptable. When subjects of Mansley’s research used force in order to get what they wanted,
they received social validation for their actions, further perpetuating attacks by making the
actions appear acceptable, even warranted (Mansley, 8).
Mansley states that according to Bureau of Justice Statistics, there were 475,900 intimate
violence cases against women in 2004. This figure reveals that despite the Sexual Revolution,
gender norms have remained and still affect marriages today. The role of women in marriage is
still a moral debate that has left room for Intimate Partner Violence to be tolerated. If the
perception that women were to serve their husband was eliminated, and gender norms no longer
emphasized, any toleration of abuse would be squandered. Societal gender norms are not of the
past, and have harmful inflictions on society today, causing sexual conflict over men and
women. Without these pervasive gender norms, sexual assaults could occur less and become less
confusing for the many victims that have experienced abuse.

6. Mikaela Haley
October 26, 2014
MC 388
Document Analysis Paper
6
Work Cited
Intimate Partner Violence Today
 Bailey, Beth L. Sex in the Heartland. Cambridge, MA: Harvard UP, 1999. Print.
 Mansley, Elizabeth A. Intimate Partner Violence: Race, Social Class, and Masculinity.
El Paso: LFB Scholarly Pub., 2009. Print.
 McOrmond-Plummer, Louise, Patricia Easteal AM, and Jennifer Y. Levy-Peck,
eds.Intimate Partner Sexual Violence: A Multidisciplinary Guide to Improving Services
and Support for Survivors of Rape and Abuse. London: Jessica Kingsley, 2014. Print.
 "The Healing Center - Intimate Partner Abuse." The Healing Center. The Healing Center,
2014. Web. 10 Oct. 2014. <http://www.thehealingcenter.org>.