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Narcissism - a workshop by Alex de Carvalho

LUIZ F. BOTELHO
LUIZ F. BOTELHO
LUIZ F. BOTELHOCEO | InternationalConsultancy | M&A Culture Change | C+ Advisor

Narcissistic Personality Disorder Workshop led by Alex de Carvalho [ Nerd Nite Miami - USA ]

Narcissism - a workshop by Alex de Carvalho

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NARCISSISM
A User’s Guide
Alex de Carvalho
ig: @alex_dc
Nerd Nite Miami
3/14/19
Narcissus,
Caravaggioc.
1598
Narciso, Jules-Cyrille Cavé, 1890
Echo and Narcissus
John William Waterhouse, 1903
Narcissus
(Daffodil)
• Unrealistic sense of superiority
• Excessive need of admiration
and attention
• Arrogant, self-centered,
manipulative, and demanding
• Stunning lack of empathy
NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER
Ad

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Narcissism - a workshop by Alex de Carvalho

  • 1. NARCISSISM A User’s Guide Alex de Carvalho ig: @alex_dc Nerd Nite Miami 3/14/19
  • 4. Echo and Narcissus John William Waterhouse, 1903
  • 6. • Unrealistic sense of superiority • Excessive need of admiration and attention • Arrogant, self-centered, manipulative, and demanding • Stunning lack of empathy NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER
  • 9. Tim Robbins The Player, 1992 COVERT NARCISSISM
  • 10. Covert, closet, passive-aggressive narcissist: • Fantasies of success, beauty, brilliance • Sense of entitlement, special treatment • Associates with successful people • Self-deprecating, humble • Sociable, charming, well-liked • Has even fooled himself into thinking he’s an unpresuming guy • Only family, SO, and his PA experience his profound insensitivity Tim Robbins, The Player, 1992
  • 11. HIGHLY FUNCTIONING, CHARMING, ADMIRED, DESIRED
  • 13. CLUSTER B ANTISOCIAL, BORDERLINE, HISTRIONIC, NARCISSISTIC • Upstanding member of society • Causes considerable damage through hidden abuse • Mom, dad, brother, sister, grandparent, aunt, uncle, cousin, boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, adult child, friend, in-laws, co- worker, boss, pastor, mentor • 1 in 7 people (15% of population) • Males AND females • 150M+ Americans impacted by a Cluster B personality
  • 14. HOW TO RECOGNIZE THEM? • DSM-5 American Psychiatric Association • Behaviors • How you feel
  • 15. THE VOCABULARY OF NARCISSISTIC ABUSE • Intermittent reinforcement • Co-dependency • Triangulation • Stonewalling • Idealization • Destructive conditioning • Devaluation • Gaslighting • Projection • Walking on eggshells • Survivor • Grooming • Thriver • Lack of empathy • Cluster B • Support group • Discard • Changing subjects • Narcissistic supply • Escape • Flying Monkeys • Moving the goalpoasts • Narcissistic wound • Support group • Smear campaign • Whole object relations • Lack of emppathy • Narcissistic rage • Blame-shifting • Hoovering
  • 17. 1. IDEALIZATION (LOVE BOMBING) • Idealization – Devaluation – Discard cycle • Intermittent reinforcement starts here • Intense focus and attention • You have never felt this way before • They say they have never felt this way before • They are studying you intensely • Your weaknesses and vulnerabilities • Your strengths and qualities • Your dreams & goals • They mirror you
  • 18. 2. DEVALUATION • Intermittent reinforcement • Triangulation • Blame-shifting • Gaslighting • Narcissistic wound • Stonewalling
  • 19. 3. DISCARD •At the worst possible time •Stunning lack of empathy •Shocking language
  • 20. SMEAR CAMPAIGN •You abused me •You hit me •You raped me •You cheated on me •You never loved me •You’re stalking me •You’re mentally ill
  • 22. THE LABEL DOESN’T MATTER • It’s about how you feel • Worry, stress, walking on eggshells, guilt, shame, being stonewalled & gaslighted • Being made to think it’s all your fault • Being made to think you’re not ok somehow • It’s always about them • Your body knows
  • 23. WHAT TO DO • No contact • Gray Rock • Educate yourself • Talk about it • There are support groups
  • 26. “Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.” ~ Dalai Lama XIV