1.
11/18/2018
1
What just
happened? :
Microaggressions
Part 2
MELANIE CHUNG-SHERMAN, LCSW, PLLC.
&
CONNECT-A-KID
Disclaimer:
Recommended
for audiences
13+years
Some of the things that we will talk about today people may find
concerning, doubtful, or it may be upsetting. If that appliesto
you, consider why you might be feeling uncomfortable.
Positive and constructivefeedback is welcomed.
This workshop is centered on the voices of marginalized groups,
with the understanding that all voices must be respected. Lived
experiences must be respected.
Topics can be very emotional for many people. Considera new
pointof viewand respectthe experiencesof those who are
often dismissedby society.
This workshop may not fit every family or situation, and can be
used as a guide to help you as a professional and community
member.
This is not meantto bash our whitefriends and loved ones, but
discuss openly the impacts of oppression,bullying, and
microaggressions.
Objectives
Determine
Determine what to do in the face of racial
othering and bullying
Define Define the connection between
microaggressions and bullying
Identify Identify how everyday racism shows up

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11/18/2018
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Everyday
Racism is
Exhausting.
R E SEARCHERS C O N T I NUE T O V A LID AT E T H E L I N KS
B E T W EEN F R I GHT EN I NG, U N P RED I CTA BLE E V EN TS I N
C H I LD HOOD —BEFORE T H EI R B R A I NS A R E F U LLY
D E V ELOP ED. B EF ORE W O RD S T O E X P RESS W H AT I S
H A P PENI NG T O T H EM .
It is not in
your head.
You are not
alone.
Microaggressions
“RAC I A L M I C RO AG G RES S I O N S A RE
BRI EF A N D C O M M O N P LAC E D A I LY
V ERBA L, BEHAV I O RA L, O R
EN V I RO N M EN TA L I N D I G N I T I ES ,
W HET HER I N T EN T I O N A L O R
U N I N T EN T I O N A L, T HAT C O M M U N I C AT E
HO S T I LE, D ERO G ATO RY, O R N EG AT I V E
RAC I A L S LI G HT S A N D I N S U LT S TO WA RD
P EO P LE O F C O LO R.”
- “RA CI A L M I CROA G G RESSI ON S I N
EV ERY D AY LI F E”

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What are types of microaggressions?
Microassaults: Conscious and intentional actions or slurs, such as using racial epithets,
displaying swastikas or deliberately serving a white person before a person of color in a
restaurant (Active Discrimination).
Microinsults: Verbal and nonverbal communications that subtly convey rudeness and
insensitivity and demean a person's racial heritage or identity. An example is an employee who
asks a colleague of color how she got her job, implying she may have landed it through an
affirmative action or quota system.
Microinvalidations: Communications that subtly exclude, negate or nullify the thoughts, feelings
or experiential reality of a person of color. For instance, white people often ask Asian-Americans
where they were born, conveying the message that they are perpetual foreigners in their own
land.
American Psychological Association (2018):
https://www.apa.org/monitor/2009/02/microaggression.aspx
Familiesof Color
(Pudasainee-Kapri&Razza,2015)
Multi-generational
Multi-caregivers who fulfill
different, yet cohesivefunctions
Extended family and kinship roles
(chosen family)
Recruitment of community
members
Racial/cultural mirrors
Racial Socialization
Transracialadoption experience
must expand into communities of
color
Microaggressions: What experiences come to mind?

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Racial
Appropriation
•Adoption of an “idea” of a
culture, ideas, or practices by
the dominant culture
•Why would this be harmful?
•The privilegeto take
another’s personal culture
without consent
•We tend to commodify racial
understanding such as food,
clothing, language,and art,
but absent to relationship.
Why are
these images
problematic?
LESS THAN 1% OF
ENTERTAINMENT ROLES GO
TO ASIANS
Common
Asian
Stereotypes

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11/18/2018
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Model Minority Myth:
Why is this Troublesome?
Generalizes an entire group of people based solely on race
Not seen as individual
Perceived as “white enough”
Erases unique aspects of Asian adoptees
Used as wedge against other races (roots in white supremacy)
Perpetuates racial stereotypes and oppression
Silences individual experiences
Invisibiliizes other Asian Americans
Overt Racial Aggressions
Bamboo
Ceiling
•Asian/Pacific American (APAs)
underrepresented in leadership
roles across the board (education,
executive, medical, social work,
legal, etc).
•APAs work longer hours and
harder work to obtain
advancement
•Few role models to guide and
learn from
• Who are the POCs in your life who
have been accessible role models?

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11/18/2018
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Dangerous
Stereotypes
•Racial and Sexual Objectification
of Asian Women and Men
•Begins at young age
•Risk of sexual assault, stalking,
harassment, abuse, and rape—
regardless of sexual/gender
identity—including adopt family
•Stereotype of sexualized, passive,
tight, small, and object
•Parents, educators, and caregivers
must be aware and proactive
Demasculinization of
Asian Men
• 1929—Fu Manchu depicted as racial/sexual scourge in
America
•Dehumanized Asian Men—animal characteristics,
dangerous, and unable to satisfy white women
•Harms self-esteem, identity, and persona—not considered
for competitive sports, dating/partnership, workforce
•Seen as less desirable, non-sexual, and measured by Western
concept of masculinity
•Creates paradox for Asian men—not to be seen objectively
beyond race, but for who they are (similiar to Asian women)
Impacts on
Transracial Adoptees
Anxiety/Depression
Stress
Lower self esteem
Hypervigilance
Self-Doubt
Difficulty trusting
Inferior beliefs
Learning Challenges
Behavioral Issues
Suicidal Thoughts/Attempts
Self-Harm
"Are you sure that really
happened?"
Authority (parent/caregiver,
teacher, law enforcement)
does not believe
Secondary Victimization
from those who are
supposed to protect
Engagement decreases
(Self dout and anxiety kept
to self)
Nothing happens and status
quo maintained
(Sense of
abandonment/helplessness)

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11/18/2018
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Paradox of
Microaggressions
W H EN ADO P TEES O F CO LO R SP EAK
UP, I T CAN CREATE A PARADOX
BECAUSE TH E EX P ERI ENCE I S
USUALLY DENI ED—TH AT CAN
CREATE A SENSE O F ANGER, H URT,
CO NFUSI O N, AND SECO ND -
GUESSI NG.
Intent vs.
Impact

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What happens when we add adoption?
Statements
Commonly
Heard in by
Asian Adoptees
(Yes, these are
true).
You are my China doll.
Your skin is porcelain.
Do you mind if I touch your hair?
How much did you cost?
I bet your birth mother was beautiful.
We adopted from Asia because we could not adopt a white baby—and our
family would never approve of a black/brownchild.
I wanta child with lightskin and those “Orientaleyes.”
He must be really smart.
Where is her accent?

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11/18/2018
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Impacts of Tokenism
Tokenism is not Diversity
• The policy or practice of making only a symbolic effort (as to desegregate). (Mirriam-Webster,
2018).
• Asking/hiring/or requesting a member from an underrepresented group to speak, identify, or
represent the appearance of inclusion and diversity for their entire group
• Common-place for TRAs (most may be only or one of a few POC in their family, community,
place of worship, and beyond)—representing multiple identities such as race, adoption, LBTQ,
special needs, etc.
• Places undue burden on person to positively perform, adapt, and navigate as the “only one.”
• Can feel isolating, confusing, stressful, and, at times empowering (so long as they do not create
tension or challenge the status quo)
• Often found in adoption communities, placing agencies, conferences (“tell me your story”
panels), work place and beyond
•Does not add nuanced ideas, perspectives, or change.

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11/18/2018
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Experiences of
TRA’s
“A milliontiny
cuts...”
Stepping out the door is a different experience for POCs:
◦ Mentally and emotionally preparing to be out in public with a
family who does not look like them.
◦ Anxiety may also be tied to racial awareness—triggering body
memory related to past trauma
It is one thing to be the parent of a child of color—it is
another to be the child of color in a White world.
Systematic microaggressions are not always appropriated by
complete strangers, but by family members and friends.
Racialized experiences can be traumatic--unpredictable
How TRAs Cope
Silences self and others (in effort to uphold
status quo)
Halts ability to empathize with other
marginalized groups
Stunts development as POC & racial awareness
at behest of white dominance (unconsciously)
Idealizes portions of adoption narrative that
frames white saviorism as only good
Limits actively engaging communities of color
and identity work
Exploring
Bullying
VERBAL INSULTS
THREATS OF VIOLENCE
EXCLUSION

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11/18/2018
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Types of
Bullying
Racial Stats on Classroom Bullying
Signs of Bullying
(https://www.stopbullying.gov/)
Unexplainable injuries
Lost or destroyed clothing, books, electronics, or jewelry
Frequent headaches or stomach aches, feeling sick or faking illness
Changes in eating habits, like suddenly skipping meals or binge eating. Kids may come
home from school hungry because they did not eat lunch.
Difficulty sleeping or frequent nightmares
Declining grades, loss of interest in schoolwork, or not wanting to go to school
Sudden loss of friends or avoidance of social situations
Feelings of helplessness or decreased self esteem
Self-destructive behaviors such as running away from home, harming themselves, or
talking about suicide

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11/18/2018
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Signs of a Bully (https://www.stopbullying.gov/at-
risk/warning-signs/index.html)
Get into physical or verbal fights
Have friends who bully others
Are increasingly aggressive
Get sent to the principal’s office or to detention frequently
Have unexplained extra money or new belongings
Blame others for their problems
Don’t accept responsibility for their actions
Gaslight—questions the victim’s reality
Are competitive and worry about their reputation or popularity
Emotional Cost of
Bullying
Depression
Anxiety
Self-Hate
Isolation
Mistrust
Suicidal Thoughts/Attempts
Self-Harm(cutting, skin picking, pulling hair, etc.)
Lack of Self-Confidence
Pain of Rejection/Abandonment by Peers, Friends, and Loved Ones
Know the
Cycle…It
can
happen to
anyone.

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11/18/2018
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What to Say:
“I’m so sorry that happened to you.”
“I believe you.”
“It is not your fault.”
“That took a lot of courage to tell me.”
“You are not alone.”
“What do you want to share? I’ll listen to you.”
“Do you want me to offer advice or just listen?”
“Who have you told?”
https://www.rainn.org/articles/tips-talking-survivors-sexual-
assault
What to avoid?
Asking what the other person did first (“So what did they
really say/do first?”)
Deflecting to another positive quality (“They just want your
skin color.”)
Generalizing (“That happened to me at your age.”)
Minimizing (“It wasn’t as if they called you a __________.”)
Suggesting they are “too sensitive”
Avoid defensive remarks (“We are a colorblind family”)
Benefit-of-the-Doubting (“Just give them the BOD. I’m sure
they didn’t mean to.”)
Offering solution before they are ready.
Do not promise secrecy. Ever.
Did you know?
•When an abusive, scary, or unpredictable event
happens to someone, the way the first person
handles their telling will set the stage regarding if
they tell anyone else or not.
•Those who are believed and felt listened to after
they shared are 10X more likely to share again AND
seek help.
•Get the facts on the law and protections (Title IX)
•This cannot be minimized.
•Seek professional consult and assistance
immediately with person.

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11/18/2018
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Helping
Adoptees of
Color Navigate
(Nadal, 2018)
Ask what happened by providing safe environment
Affirm the experience in their words without interruption
Recognize how your essence may impact their telling—and name
it
Imagine what they would have liked to see things play out
differently (not what they could have done differently)
What steps would they like to take next?
Create a safety plan for them to come to you.
Create an action plan for social justice in your home, school, and
org.

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11/18/2018
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Creating Safe
Spaces
•Adoptee community, particularly
transracial adoptees, are
empowered to create spaces and
use their voice
•Need to be led by transracial
adoptees for adoptees (those
trained and vetted by orgs)
•Mixing white and transracial
adoptees will change purpose of
space
•Intentional, open, and fluid
References
Brown, C. L., Love, K. M., Tyler, K. M., Garriot, P. O., Thomas, D., & Roan-Belle, C. (2013).
Parental Attachment, Family Communalism, and Racial Identity Among
African American College Students. Journal Of Multicultural Counseling
& Development, 41(2), 108-122.
Carter, N. M., & Pérez, E. O. (2016).Race and Nation: How Racial Hierarchy Shapes
National Attachments. Political Psychology,37(4), 497-513.
Iwamoto, D. K., Negi, N. J., Partiali, R. N., & Creswell, J. W. (2013).The Racial and Ethnic
Identity Formation Process of Second-Generation Asian Indian Americans: A
Phenomenological Study. Journal Of Multicultural Counseling &
Development, 41(4),224- 239.
Lucas, T., Woerner, J., Pierce, J., Granger, D. A., Lin, J., Epel, E. S., . . . Lumley, M. A. (2018).
Justice for all? beliefs about justice for self and others and telomere length in
african americans. Cultural Diversity and Ethnic Minority
Psychology, doi:http://dx.doi.org.library.collin.edu/10.1037/cdp0000212
Malott, K. M., Paone, T. R., Schaefle, S., Cates, J., & Haizlip,B. (2015).Expanding White
Racial Identity Theory: A Qualitative Investigation of Whites Engaged in
Antiracist Action. Journal Of Counseling & Development, 93(3),333-343.
Nadal, K. L. (2018). Microaggressions and traumaticstress: Theory, research, and clinical
treatment. American Psychological Association: Washington, D.C.
References
Perkins, R. M. (2014).Race, Gender & Class, Vol. 21, No. 1/2,
Race, Gender & Class 2013 Conference, pp. 211-219
Pudasainee-Kapri, S., & Razza, R. (2015).Associations Among
Supportive Coparenting, Father Engagement and
Attachment:The Role of Race/Ethnicity. Journal Of Child
& Family Studies, 24(12),3793-3804.
Quintana,S. M. (2007).Racial and ethnic identity:
Developmentalperspectives and research. Journal of
CounselingPsychology,54(3), 259-270.
doi:http://dx.doi.org.library.collin.edu/10.1037/0022-
0167.54.3.259
Torres, L., Mata-Greve,F., & Harkins,A. (2018).A preliminary
investigation of acculturative stress and diurnal
cortisol among latina women

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11/18/2018
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Thank you!
Melanie Chung-Sherman, LCSW, LCPAA,
PLLC.
counsel@mcscounsel.com
https://mcscounsel.com/
Connect-A-Kid, Inc. http://connectakid.org/