The PFA (Parents Forever Association) statement on relevant topics and results of the Family Platform, presented by its Chairman of the Board, João Mouta, highlights some of the Selected Elements on the Research and Policy Agenda, linking them with the "portrait" taken by the "State of the Art", and stresses the major changes that society and individuals are living and doing to family, namely, nowadays values and what the emerged digital culture is consequently laid as the foundations for a new kind of society. It also takes into special consideration the children's point of view.

1. Parents Forever Statement
Final Conference on the
Research Agenda of the
EU-FAMILYPLATFORM
Abstract
The PFA (Parents Forever Association) statement on relevant topics and results of the
Family Platform, presented by its Chairman of the Board, João Mouta, highlights some
of the Selected Elements on the Research and Policy Agenda, linking them with the
„portrait‰ taken by the „State of the Art‰, and stresses the major changes that society
and individuals are living and doing to family, namely, nowadays values and what the
emerged digital culture is consequently laid as the foundations for a new kind of
society. It also takes into special consideration the childrenÊs point of view.
Keywords: FAMILYPLATFORM, ChildrenÊs perspective of family, Relationship values,
Family and digital society, Family diversity.

2. Ladies and Gentlemen
I apologize but IÊm going to skip the formal compliments.
The less than five minutes I have to speak donÊt allow me to do it the proper way. You
do have to excuse me.
My name is João Mouta and I work as
volunteer at the Portuguese (PFA) Parents
Forever Association (Associação Pais para
Sempre) where I am the Chairman of the
Board.
The Association is named „Parents
Forever‰ because children cannot change
their parenthood – whatever we do to put
a child in this world, their parents really are forever.
I must congratulate the excellent work the Family Platform has achieved; congratulate
the expertises, the stakeholders and all the participants for all the hard and excellent
work they have done, and also to congratulate the European Commission that has
gave the means to do such huge and important study about the European Families.
The „Critical Review of Research on Families and Family Policies in Europe‰ stresses as
one of the most important issues for the future research agenda „a deeper
understanding of parenthood and parenting‰ 1.
The „State of the Art‰ Final Report stresses
„high dynamic of family forms within European
countries throughout the last decades‰2, with
broad wide diversity of family formation
preconditions, family forms and family life.
1
Critical Review of Research on Families and Family Policies in Europe. Conference Report by Karin
Wall, Mafalda Leitão, Vasco Ramos – ICS University of Lisbon, published September 2010, p. 182.

3. That takes me to the need to bring to you one specific type of family form that can
illustrate the very need of a wide open research for the future; a research that will
include all the diversity.
Al least theoretically it is possible that a child have five different individuals as parents.
(1) The biologic father – the man
that provides the sperm. (2) The
biologic mother – the woman that
donates the egg. (3) The uterine
foster mother – the woman that
gives birth. (4) The psychological
mother – that one that takes care
and gives affection. (5) The
psychological father – the one who
caries out the paternal function.
This is not a future scenario. This is real nowadays, and shows the complexity of
contemporary parenthood, motherhood and fatherhood.
Nevertheless it can be classified as most advanced, some of you may find on it a
conservative approach because it approaches parenthood in a gender perspective.
Maybe, for the same reason the „Movement Mondial des Mères Europe‰ on its report
„Realities of Mother in Europe‰ says that „mothers are the force that produces the
continual regeneration of society‰3 based on their biological capacity. In any case we
cannot ever forget that Family, and society, is an All. Nevertheless ALL the diversity it
seems that we, still, are too much attached to definitions.
If you find this of some kind of complexity we can bring more if we look into family
relations and into ÿfamily functionsŸ.
2
Research on Families and Family policies in Europe. State of the Art. Final Report edited by Marjo
Kuronen – Family Research Centre, University of Jyväskylä, published 01.09.1020, p. 33.
3
Realities of Mothers in Europe. A Report by World Movement of Mothers Europe. Prepared by Joan
Stevens, Julie de Bergeyck and Anne-Claire de Liedekerke for Family Platform, July 2010, p. 42.

4. João do Santos, a very well known Portuguese scientist in the field of child care,
pedagogy and mental care, already deceased, that is known as the father of mental
science in Portugal, says many interesting things, from the children perspective, about
fathers and mothers.
For instance, he used to remark that „Mother ...
mother in a psychological sense, is not the one that
has generated, but that or the one who gives
affection and constant and direct support.‰ 4
„What is known is that each person has initially only
one mother, whether „she‰ is male or female ...
The first engagement that we receive is from a mother ... that is, in general, female (I
say usually female but can not be).‰5
Those statements have full meaning in the present, when we talk about
„defamilisation‰ of child care and we live with the family behaviour of the so called
children care goes public6.
There are, from the child perspective some other important persons in their family
relations, which belong to their family platform.
So, in this family approach, to those ÿtheoreticalŸ parents we have to include the
caretakers.
As the „State of the Art‰ Final ReportÊs states „Family
of today is a negotiation and affection based family.‰
The „Movement Mondial des Mères Europe‰ report
about Realities of Mothers in Europe also identifies as
4
Conference on Medical Sciences Society, June 30th, 1954.
5 João dos Santos, Quero Ir-me Embora. Conversas com João Sousa Monteiro, Assírio & Alvim, 1990,
Lisbon, p.55
6
Research on Families and Family policies in Europe. State of the Art. Final Report edited by Marjo
Kuronen – Family Research Centre, University of Jyväskylä, published 01.09.1020, p. 123.

5. „very important factors‰ that contribute to improving the well being of mothers more
„Love, Respect and Tolerance‰7.
Those statements on family reality recalls another one used from the middle eighties of
the pas century by the gay community: „Love makes a family‰.
If the scientific community has done serious research on them maybe we could have
anticipate that unexpected reality and had implemented the policies that provide
todayÊs family the proper conditions for their full realisation.
As Leeni Hansson from Tallin
University conclude, family
sociology and modernisation
„gives reason to expect that
the diversity of family types,
including families based on
same-sex relationships, will
continue to increase in the
future.‰8
The new family forms shows
the ways family is evolving. It is true that they are not (at least yet) the majority; but
we shall not misunderstand majority
with norm!
As stated before in the Family
Platform LisbonÊs Conference „same-
sex families can be a starting point for
a new way of looking at family ⁄‰
7
Realities of Mothers in Europe. A Report by World Movement of Mothers Europe. Prepared by Joan
Stevens, Julie de Bergeyck and Anne-Claire de Liedekerke for Family Platform, July 2010, p. 52.
8
Major Trends in Family Behaviour in European Countries. Family Platform Online Journal Volume 1:
Structures & Forms. Leeni Hansson – Institute of International and Social Studies, Tallinn University, p.
27.

6. „Due to the fact that there seems to be no gender differences it
is interesting to get to know better the way they manage their
individual perspectives of family life ⁄‰9
I finish leaving you,
Family Platform and
the Commission of
the European
Communities, with
an „emotion‰
proposal,
reinforcing that
future research shall „start focusing on children as subjects and
equal in the family and not just as minors‰10 in order to, also,
understand „the experiences of children and how their lives and
outcomes are affected by different elements of their lives‰11.
Focusing our attention in the new solutions women and men
found to their families and looking family reality by childrenÊs
eyes shall put research a step ahead.
If for the adult members of the family the time „spent‰ with
other familiesÊ members is important, for the child that is of
major importance – the amount of time and specially the quality
of that time.
9
Critical Review of Research on Families and Family Policies in Europe. Conference Report by Karin
Wall, Mafalda Leitão, Vasco Ramos – ICS University of Lisbon, published September 2010, p. 30.
10
Ibid. p. 30.
11
Ibid, p. 183.

7. So, the proper „work-family balance‰ has for children so much
importance.
Because Families are the first victims of poverty and
homelessness with such dramatic impact in the future life of
children the policies has to take it in major consideration.
Almost, like as an osmotic effect, families reflect social
inequalities and reproduce them.
2010 is the European Year against poverty and social exclusion
and child poverty is on the top of the political agenda, and it
has to remain on top of it after the end of the year.
I have to highlight the importance of EU efforts in helping
member states fight child poverty and social exclusion, that
investment in children and families must remain a top political
priority, even in times, like the present ones, of scarce public
finances.
As the „State of the ArtÊs Report‰ concludes there is „the
persistence of poverty in some groups and types of households
which continue to show a higher risk of exposure to
poverty‰12.
It takes us to a conclusion: we are not doing the right things.
In this specific field it will be very interesting to know and to
understand the reasons why some families are „able to activate
extended support networks ⁄ while others are socially
isolated.‰11
12
Research on Families and Family policies in Europe. State of the Art. Final Report edited by Marjo
Kuronen – Family Research Centre, University of Jyväskylä, published 01.09.1020, p. 65.

8. ItÊs very important that EU continues to „promote and support
continuous monitoring of the impact on children of evolving
reconciliation policies that responds to what children have to say
on whether the work/ life balance is right for them‰ and also to
„promote an approach to reconciliation of work and family life
that recognises the importance of the „happiness‰ factor and
responds to what families have to say about the quality of their
lives.‰13
At a European level we talk very often about different speeds and
different realities within the 27 member States.
There is a factor, besides the specific cultural and social constrains,
that may lead Europe to a „globalization‰: I am talking about the
new dialectic of the
communicational society.
„ChildrenÊs use of the internet
continues to grow. Striking
recent rises are evident among
younger children (6-11) years
and in countries which have
recently entered the EU.‰14
New generations will find similar speeds in spite of the constrained
influence of social structure and forces present at the place they
live in.
We have to work for them.
13
Family policies that work best for children (Fighting child poverty & promoting child well-
being) - Report Part I, Anne Williams - Eurochild, July 2010, p.13.
14
Research on Families and Family policies in Europe. State of the Art. Final Report edited by Marjo
Kuronen – Family Research Centre, University of Jyväskylä, published 01.09.1020, p. 65.

9. We have to work for families of today, focusing also in
future parents, working for them, with them, preparing
them as well as us better know.
Building families based
on partnership,
Families as educators and providers of Human
Rights, looking at responsibilities and fathers
challenges and also the mothersÊ challenges in our
changing world shall remain our major goals.
The „values transmission‰ as well stated by the World
Movement of Mothers Europe is of major importance.
We do have to help fathers and to improve a father-
sensitive policy that contributes in a positive way to change
the social and labour stereotypes based on gender.15
It is on our hands to change things.
15
For more on this subject read Working Better: Fathers, family and work – contemporary
perspectives, Equality and Human Rights Commission, October 2009, ISBN 978 1 84206 218 0

10. We need to maintain a broad wide open view on the
solutions each woman and each man finds to realise
her/himself as lover, as parent, in all dimensions each
one has
We need, we must, we have to give our Children, to all European youth, the
knowledge and the means to create the family relations they want and fulfil their
childrenÊs needs and that will make Europe a better place.
In varietate concordia.
United in diversity.
João Mouta
Chairman of the Board
joao.mouta@paisparasempre.eu