1. Trying to avoid the
BLAH BLAH BLAH feeling…
Ch. 23: Revising
for Language
Awareness

2. The goal of language awareness…
• Is to notice sentences, phrases, and/or words
that are bland or vague and to make them vivid
and concrete.
• Is to stay away from vagueness, wordiness, and
triteness (which includes clichés).
• Is to use exact and fresh words, sentences,
phrases.

3. Exact language…
• Is used to avoid vague words
▫ Vague language
 lacks concrete, precise details.
 Does not give enough descriptions.
 Can mislead or not inform your reader.
• Paints a clear, vivid impression, idea, image, etc.
• Shows the reader the actual, true meaning.

4. Examples…
• Vague language:
▫ Ex: The woman walked around the school.
▫ Ex: A park is nice.
• Exact language:
▫ Ex: The doe-eyed blonde wandered around
Germanna’s campus.
▫ Ex: The sky at Maymont Park is shinning a tangerine
glow from the setting sun.

5. The difference is clear!
• Vague language:
▫ General
▫ Bland
▫ Confusing
• Exact language:
▫ Exciting
▫ Fun
▫ Specific
▫ Descriptive

6. Concise language…
• Is direct and to the point.
▫ Incorrect: Well, if someone doesn’t study, that
could maybe, possible, result in poor grades.
 Well, if someone doesn’t study, that could maybe,
possible result in poor grades.
▫ Correct: A lack of studying can result in poor
grades.

7. Concise language…
• Omits words/sentences that do not add to the
purpose or meaning of the sentence/paragraph.
▫ Incorrect: In my opinion I think that the financial aid
system at Ellensville Junior College is in need of
reform.
 In my opinion I think that the financial aid system at
Ellensville Junior College is in need of reform.
▫ Correct: The financial aid system at Ellensville Junior
College needs reform.

8. Concise language…
• Does not overly repeat or use redundant
words/sentences.
▫ Incorrect: On October 10, in the fall of 2003, we
learned the true facts about the Peruvian mummies.
 On October 10, in the fall of 2003, we learned the true
facts about the Peruvian mummies.
▫ Correct: On October 10, 2003, we learned the facts
about the Peruvian mummies.

9. Concise language…
• Does not use unnecessary wording.
▫ Incorrect: Because of the fact that the watch was
inexpensive in price, he bought it.
 Because of the fact that the watch was inexpensive in
price, he bought it.
▫ Correct: Because the watch was inexpensive, he
bought it.

10. Fresh language…
• Is avoiding trite or clichéd sentences.
• Is keeping everything unique and original.
• Is putting a twist to old, stale phrases.
• Keeps you from using overused expression.

11. What are trite expressions??
• Are boring words or phrases because they are
used too often and are not fresh. We hear them
A LOT.
Examples…
• Awesome • Hot, cold
• Last but not least • Sad but true
• At this point in time • One in a million
• Better later than never • Easier said than done
• In this day and age • Out of this world

12. What are clichés??
• Expressions that we hear EVERYDAY and that are
overused.
Examples…
• Free as a bird • Cold cruel world
• As light as a feather • Break the ice
• Top dog • Work like a dog
• Between a rock and a • Living hand to mouth
hard place
• Cry your eyes out • Green with envy
• Under the weather • Keep your eyes peeled
• Trite/cliché sentences are almost the same, so many
phrases are placed into both categories.

13. Stay away from them…
• By using fresh language
• By taking something stale and over used and making
it new and interesting.
▫ Cliché ex:
 The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.
▫ Fresh ex:
 The grass is always greener over the septic tank
▫ Created by Erma Bombeck

14. Figurative language…
• Adds unique character/impression/ style to your
papers.
• Spices things up.
• Avoids clichés.
• Makes things more exact.

15. Similes…
• Are a comparison of two things
• Use the words as and like
• Help to bring clarity to the meaning or purpose
of a sentence/paragraph.
• Give the reader a better understanding.

16. Metaphors…
• Are a comparison of two things within the same
sentence.
• DO NOT use comparing words
• Help to bring clarity to the meaning or purpose
of a sentence/paragraph.
• Give the reader a better understanding.

17. However…
• Similes and metaphors should:
▫ NOT be overused.
▫ Be used to make sentence more exact, concise, and
fresh ( Fawcett 360).
▫ Be helping to paint a clear picture in the reader’s
mind.
• Reference the handout for examples