Mentorship Workshop at Tsiba College: how to be a mentor

1. Mentorship Workshop
Tsiba College
Mind map by David Lipschitz
1st July 2015
Sonja
Cobus Oosthuizen
LifeXChange
We special use
in mentoring
The Pacific Institute
Studies the best of the best
thinking processes
High performance people think
everything is internal, ie my [fault]
Gangsters
Everything is external
Before Mentoring
Normally 6 phases
in the training
The talk
The brain
Neural network
Connections
How things shift
Potential
What is it?
It can happen, but it
hasn't happened yet
What
percentage
potential?
100%
How much of your
potential are you using? 95%
Average in the
group 45%
Underperforming my potential Why?
Distractions
Opportunities
Luck
Doubt
Fear
Lack of confidence
Lack of a teacher
A teacher often sees more in you
than you see in yourself
Laziness
Blame & excuses
How many of these things are
internal or external?
Ie what can I control?
Types
Unlimited
"I can fly"
Unending
Reality Becoming better
at something
The brain's filter
The Reticular
Formation system
Inside the
Medulla
Oblongata
It lets through some
things and not others
How we interpret stuff
It lets thru some info & it
blocks other info!
Eg conflicting ideas
We can't be fat and thin
at the same time
So what is
reality for us?
It depends on what
the filter lets thru
Conscious, sub-conscious,
creative sub-conscious
Everything sinks into
the sub-conscious
CSC
Keeping you, you!SC
Automatic
"Truths"
Thoughts accumulate
to become beliefs
"We behave and act not in accordance with
the truth, but with the "truth" as we believe
and perceive it to be"
Your mind doesn't care about
the truth, it acts on what it
thinks the truth is
So what do you
believe about yourself?
(Unfortunately) sanity is more
important than success
Staying with what you believe is
more important than success
Cognitive dissonance
Eg helping people, "be who
you are"can I change
If the mentor is doing well, the
mentee will also do well
The other side of the
coin, Part 2 of the talk
Reprogramming
3 days !
Normal workshop time
1. Let's be
open to learn
Because I don't
see everythingI have blind spots, and I don't
know where they are
I need to
become so
aware
I need to be less resistant
when people speak
3 things (H.I.V.)
HumilityGiving credit
where it's due
Interdependence
Vulnerability
Quesbaarheid
Be truthful about where you are in
life, eg "I've messed this up"
2. Self talkIt matters what
you tell yourself
Thoughts accumulate to
become beliefs
How you speak to yourself is so important
Describe the
behavior you want
I can remember names
I am cool & calm
Not "I cannot do it"
THIS IS WHO I AM
Reprogram yourself to be
who you want to be
A good mentor sees the good
in you before you do
3. Visualization - get
the picture right!
What do you see if you
close your eyes?
What direction do you
want to move in? Nelson Mandela could describe the future
as if he could see it. He knew why he
struggled. He moved in that direction. He
took people with him.
When we work with people we need
to keep the picture in sight
We are so limited in our thinking.
If we can break that barrier, then
our mentee also can
Takeaways
(Lessons)
We don't see
everything in this
room
So what do I miss?
Programming
What do I "know"?
Do I ask all the
questions?
"Of's"
We don't want to
look stupid
We are designed to
be programmed
We are all brainwashed
Don't hear everything people say; we
make incorrect assumptions
Two people can look at the same picture
and see two different things
Duck / rabbit picture; old lady
/ young lady picture
Never use the phrase
"seeing is believing"
Two cards the
same size
Track your mentee
Duration of mentoring
18
months
or
more
Frequency of meetings
An hour a week
(best practice)
Consistency
I'm consistent
with my mentee
Emotional connection
Jean Rhodes
Relationship is NB
The thing that helps people the most
is the relationship you have
"I need to believe this guy
cares about me."
You don't even need to
open your mouth
You don't wait for the mentee to
show up; you show up
This leads to "no choice" for the
mentee, but to change