2. SF: DOOR BANGS OPEN FOOTSTEPS (ABOUT 4 - 8)
Eva Bronx: What on earth are you doing you stupid
girl? You went to that ball didn’t you?
SF: EVA SLAPS ELLA (GASP)
EVA: DIDN’T YOU!
Ella: No, no I didn’t I was shopping and then I
came home to do all of the housework.
EVA: Don’t give me any of that crap.
ELLA: I was preparing your horsemeat for you
last night… I, I mean cow meat.
SF: EVA SLAPS ELLA (GASP)
EVA: NO YOU WERE NOT! YOU WENT TO THE BALL!
YOU WERE SOPOSED TO GO TO NETTO FOR ME
BECAUSE WE ARE RUNNING OUT OF FOOD!
ELLA: No I promise you I DID go shopping. But I
went to Tesco instead because their meat
is better.
EVA: By the way do you have any idea where our
horses are?
ELLA: Drusilla sold them to Jack the lad, and
then he sold them to Tesco.
3. EVA: I thought he was selling that fat cow?
SF: GASP IN SHOCK
ELLA: Don’t make fun of him mother like that.
EVA: No I meant his animal cow thing you know
the one with the bell
ELLA: It isn’t her fault she is ill.
SF: EVA SLAPS ELLA (GASP)
EVA: DON’T YOU DARE BACK CHAT ME; YOU KNOW
FULL WELL WHAT I MEANT!
ELLA: Oh Daisy the cow? He sold her to Netto.
SF: FOOTSTEPS DOOR OPERNING, FALLING THUD
EVA: What on earth are you lovely girls doing
hear?
DRUSILLA: We were trying to find you mother.
ANASTASIA: We have come to tell you that we didn’t
sell the horses. The bay lifts came and
took them away Mother…
DRUSILLA: And…and they were auctioned off to
McDonalds Mother
EVA: Well Ella had just informed me that Jack
the lad sold them to Tesco. So which
story is right?
DRUSILLA: Our story is the real one…
4. ANNASTASIA: Yes, because the bay lifts told us “the
reason why they took the horses was
because Ella has been hiring strippers
and now we are in dept. because SHE
couldn’t afford it”
ELLA: That is absurd… What’s a stripper?
ANASTASIA: You know full well what a stripper is you
tart.
SF: NOCK AT THE DOOR
EVA: Come in
CHARLES: Good Afternoon
EVA: (Fake posh voice) Hello your heist. How
do you do.
CHARLES: I have been conducting a search around my
father’s kingdom to find the owner of
this shoe.
DRUSILLA: What Shoe? Sir?
CHARLES GUARD: This shoe Madame.
SF: SHINING GLASS
DRUSILLA: What about the shoe?
5. CHARLES: I am looking for the owner of the shoe.
Who’s ever foot it fits I will ask for
there hand in marriage.
ANASTASIA: What if it is a blokes foot it fits?
CHARLES: I will worry if it comes to that. So…
witch one of you lovely ladies will care
to try the shoe on first?
ANNASTASIA AND DRUSILLA: (SYNCHRONISED) Me.
SF: PUSHING AND SHOVING
CHARLES: SO?
DRUSILLA: Drusilla
CHARLES: Could you please pass me your foot.
DRUSILLA: Straining
CHARLES GUARD: I don’t think that’s the girl?
CHARLES: No unfortunately not.
ANASTASIA: Me next. (Straining). there’s the knife
or scissors?
CHARLES: Why do you want the scissors?
ANASTASIA: Oh you know. To chop off my toes to make
the shoe fit.
DRUSILLA: Why didn’t I think of that?
6. CHARLES: Oh, lets not chop toes of for sake of a
silly shoe. It just doesn’t seem to fit
your foot either.
EVA: Move out of the way girls, it’s my turn
to try on the shoe.
SF: THUD
EVA: Straining
CHARLES: Oh dear, it doesn’t fit your foot eater.
Excuse me. What is your name.
ELLA: My name?
CHARLES: Ye your name?
ELLA: Oh sir, my name is Ella Sir.
CHARLES: Hello Ella, would you like to try on this
shoe?
ELLA: No not really sir, I know it fits me
anyway.
CHARLES: How do you know if the shoe will fit you?
ELLA: Is it the one someone left behind last
night after she fell over and landed in
horse poo?
CHARLES: Yes, someone did leave it behind last
night, I was dancing with her. She left
as soon as the clock struck twelve.
7. However, I do not know about the horse
waste though? So do you want to try the
shoe on then?
ELLA: If you really want me too then? Can I ask
you a question please?
SF: FOOTSTEPS
CHARLES: Yes, of Corse you can.
ELLA: What’s a stripper?
CHARLES: What makes you ask that?
ELLA: Tweeddale dumb mentioned it.
CHARLES: Look, it fits.
EVA: NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
CHARLES: So its you, you were the girl I danced
with at the ball?
ELLA: Yes
ANASTASIA: Can’t you marry me though please?
CHARLES GUARD: NO! He can only marry the woman whose
foot fits the shoe.
SF: BREAKING BOANS
ANASTASIA: (screams in pain)
8. EVA: What are you doing?
SOUND: EVA, ANASTASIA AND DRUCLLA ARE TALKING/ARGUING
IN THE BACKGROUND.
CHARLES: Ella will you marry me?
ELLA: Yes.
MUSIC: HAPPY FUN MUSIC
