Marie Knight

1. Face to Face with
Life’s Challenges
Please sign in…
Agency Name, # of attendees in your group
Who wants CEUS? Type their Name, CEU

2. Choose the answer that best represents the
majority of your group.
How often do you experience
“conflict” at work?
A. A few times a year
B. Several Times a month
C. Several Times a week
D. Every day that ends in a “Y”
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3. In your chat box...
“What are you
so afraid of?”

4. Conflict Defined
“a struggle to resist or overcome;
a contest of opposing forces;
strife; battle; a state or condition
of opposition; antagonism; discord;
clash; collision.”

5. Conflict arises from a multitude of
sources that reflect our differences:
personality, values, ideologies, religion,
culture, race, and behavior.
It also arises from simple
misunderstandings.

6. In your feedback box, please answer
YES or NO
“A majority of the people in our group took the
pre-webinar “Conflict Styles” quiz.
Based on the pre-webinar quiz results, please
type the Conflict Style which is most
common among your group:
A. Collaborating
B. Competing
C. Avoiding
D. Harmonizing
E. Compromising

7. "The quickest way to kindle
a fire is to rub two
opposing opinions together."

8. Co-workers
Customers

9. What are some of the
difficult conversations
you dread having with a
co-worker or
subordinate staff?

10. Are you a planner?

11. • The points you need
to make
• Your desired
outcome
• Try to anticipate
their response

12.  Could I have any bias?
 What could their story be?
 What could their intentions be?
 Did I play a role in this?
How strongly do you agree with
this statement?
“When dealing with co-workers or
subordinates, I always try to
realize what part I played in
causing the conflict.”

13.  Tell It: Factually state the situation as you
see it.
 Ask them to tell you why the situation
occurs.
 Listen Actively: Listen and Repeat what you
hear.
 Express your feelings about the situation.
 Say what you would like to happen, or what
you want the next step to be.

14. •Just the facts.
•Describe what happened.
•Be respectful.
•No judgment or emotion.

15.  Ask them for their story.
 Just the facts.
 What is their thought process.
 What was their desired outcome?

16.  LISTEN ACTIVELY.
 Ask questions to clarify a point.
 When the person is finished, repeat what you
heard.
 DO NOT change, or add anything.
 Repeat process until you get agreement from
them that you understand correctly.
In your chat box, list some ways you know
when someone is NOT listening actively?

17.  Describe the error or problem as soon as
possible, clearly and without blame.
 Show its negative impact.
 If appropriate, take the blame for not making
the task clear.
 Go over the task in detail making sure it is
clearly understood.
 Express your continuing trust and confidence in
the person.

18. In your feedback box…
How strongly do you agree with this
statement…
“From the very beginning of the training
process, it is part of our agency’s culture to
clearly outline expectations and
explain how success will be measured.”

19.  Express your expectations.
 What does success look like to you?
 What does it look like if they are not
meeting your expectations or
exceeding them?
 Share some examples.

20. Don't be afraid
of opposition.
Remember,
a kite rises against,
not with the wind.

21. A. You have a staff member who has been late twice in the
last two weeks
B. You feel that your co-worker did not pull their weight
recently when the two of you were assigned to a project
C. You are upset with the way a co-worker spoke to you in
front of customers or other co-workers
D. You are not satisfied with the performance of a staff
member on the task of preparing a summer sports activity
calendar
Which of the above situations do you feel
would be the most difficult to deal with?

22.  Choose a positive context
 Focusing on improvements
instead of mistakes can defuse
the tension

23. 1. "I’d like to talk about ____________ with you, but first I’d like to get your
point of view.“
2. "I need your help with what just happened. Do you have a few minutes to talk
privately?“
3. "I need your help with something. Can we talk about it (soon)?"
If they say, "Sure, let me get back to you," follow up with them.
4. "I think we have different perceptions about _____________________. I’d
like to hear your thinking on this.“
5. "I’d like to talk about ___________________. I think we may have different
ideas on how to _____________________.“
6. "I’d like to see if we might reach a better understanding about ___________. I
really want to hear your feelings about this and share my perspective as well.“
7. "I have something I’d like to discuss with you that I think will help us work
together more effectively.

26.  Praise people immediately
 Be specific about what they
did right or almost right
 Share your positive feelings
about what they did
 Encourage them to keep up the good work
Who have you praised on your team
this week? Why?

27. “They may forget what you said,
but they will never forget
how you made them feel.“
Carl W. Buechner

28. The Customer is
always right?
In your chat box, list some
customer service issues that
challenge you and can create
conflict?

29.  Manage the first two minutes
◦ Determine what the customer wants
 Listen
◦ Be an active listener
◦ Ask clarifying questions, repeat what
you hear
◦ Respond Quickly
 Maintain Control
◦ Show empathy
◦ Model and reward the behavior you
want to receive
Customer Conflict Strategies

30. When it comes to communication which of
these “speaks” the loudest?
A. Tone of voice
B. Actual message and words
C. Body language
D. The color of your shirt

31.  Be direct and assertive, not
aggressive
◦ Friendly but firm
◦ Don’t be a door mat
◦ Look for the win-win
 Focus on “Can-do” not Can’t-do”
◦ We tend to do the “can’t”
◦ Lead with the negative
 Defeat the problem not the person
Customer Conflict Strategies

32.  Check your body language
◦ Eye contact
◦ Open body
◦ Maintain voice control
◦ Mirror the behavior you want
 Be positive
◦ Smile – if appropriate
◦ Be positive, friendly, it isn’t a personal
attack
◦ Show the customer that you care about the
situation
◦ Look at the problem from their prospective
◦ Be on their team
Customer Conflict Strategies

33. A. I can help you faster if…
B. It would be easier if…
C. I understand you want…
D. This is what I can do for
you…
E. I can understand how you
feel when…
F. I would feel the same way
too if it happened to me…

34. Conflict is inevitable
But combat is
optional.

35. What repetitive customer
issues arise in your agency
which cause conflict, that
you WISH you were
empowered to FIX?

36.  What are your individual
limits?
 How much are you empowered
to do? Refunds? Freebies?
Break the “Rules”?
 Red and Blue policies
 You always have more options
than the customer, it’s time to
SHARE those options!

37. If you never pick up the
sword, you won’t have to
worry about falling on it.

38. “As a result of this webinar,
I know that when the
next conflict pops up,
I will be much better
equipped to handle it.”
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39. In the chat box…
Please list your favorite
ideas or strategies
you gained from this webinar.
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40.  Marie’s contact info…
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 Marie Knight, Director
 City of Orange Community Services
 mknight@cityoforange.org
 714-744-7277

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Make and Take Performance Improvement
The GAP Method
Generating Awesome Performance
 Dr. Keith Fulthorp, CSU Long Beach
 Performance Gap applies to everyone who
supervises FT/PT or even volunteers