Everyone experiences the need to have an awkward, uncomfortable or difficult conversation at some time. Nothing can these make these situations go away but we do have some control over how we prepare for and have these conversations. In this video we’ll present some simple, proven techniques to make having difficult conversations less stressful and more effective.
Sometimes you may have to have a difficult conversation “in the moment” but if at all possible spend even a few minutes considering the following points:What is the issue?Why is it bothering you? What gets you hooked about this conversation, person or issue?What are your assumptions about what’s going on?What emotions are attached to the situation?What is your purpose in having the conversation?What is the ideal outcome?What will happen if you have the conversation? What will happen if you don’t?
Once you are in touch with the issue and the desired outcome, you’re ready to get in to the conversation. But don’t just jump in and lay everything on the table. Here are some guidelines to develop a set of skills that are sure to make even the most difficult conversation go a little better.
Leadershipis exhibitedthroughCONVERSATIONSI have beenavoiding thisfor a long time.I don’t think she’llever change.What if hegets mad?I have toresolve this.GETCLEARON YOU
3What is the issue?Why is it bothering you?What are your assumptions?What emotions are present?What is your purpose?What is the ideal outcome?What will happen?CONSIDER
Don’t blurt,converseI have a list of problems todiscuss with you.Let’s go.Develop yourskillsVisualize youroutcome
Make it SafeShow respectListen sincerelyThank you formeetingwith me today.Be sincere.Be real.open and engaged
questionsASKOPEN-ENDEDTell me more…I don’t fullyunderstand…So, what I hearyou saying is…I understand it’sdifficult for you …
Yes, ANDValidateUnderstandExpressListenyour point of viewto the other’s point of viewRESOLVE TOGETHER
You’re right. Ihadn’t really thoughtof it like that.What are youtelling yourself?He won’twant to talkto me.I won’t beable toexplain whatI want.RECOGNIZEFOCUSonOUTCOMERESPECT
I believe…I saw…I’m concernedthat…I understand it’sdifficult for you …
I’m sorry Imade such a bigdeal out ofsomething sounimportant.It wasthoughtless forme to assumeyou didn’t care.TakeforAVOID BLAMEresponsibilityyour actionsbe aware and open
POWERDIFFERENTIALShave thedifficultconversationwhen theneed arisesDon’t letsituations festerPracticeand developyour skillI can do this.It’ll be OK.
You’re notseeing my point.What do you haveto say about this?May I offer you adifferentperspective?I’d like to hearyour thinking onthis.Everyone says youdominate everyconversation you’re in.I’ve noticed that somepeople stop talking whenyou are in theconversation.You seem quiteadamant.This sounds reallyimportant to you.Abetterway This video features the song “Si Tu Savais” by Arsen, availableunder a Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike licenseHuman Resources