After our enforced two-year COVID-19 separation, we could finally gather safely and learn once again at the 22nd Annual IACP FORUM 2021, Lighting the Way Together

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IACP Forum 2021 Was Simply Amazing!
After our enforced two-year COVID-19 separation, we could finally gather
safely and learn once again at the 22nd Annual IACP FORUM 2021, Lighting
the Way Together
Whether joining us virtually or face-to-face in San Diego the world’s largest
gathering of Collaborative and family dispute resolution professionals, forum
participants played an influential part in shaping the legacy of Collaborative
Practice.
This year’s Forum was headlined by keynote speaker, Rev. Nontombi Naomi
Tutu, daughter of Archbishop Desmond Tutu. She graciously joined us live via
Zoom from South Africa. Her presentation was fascinating, uplifting, and
encouraging for all attendees.
In her plenary talk on Saturday, Rev. Naomi Tutu humbly spoke about how
peaceful communication can bring people in dire conflict to a place of mutual
understanding. She spoke to the participants with palpable gratitude, joy,
and compassion.
Rev. Tutu spoke about South Africa’s Truth
and Reconciliation Commission. The
Commission, created following the end of
apartheid, was designed to help the country
heal and bring about a reconciliation of its
people by uncovering the truth about human
rights violations during South Africa’s forced
separation of the races. Rev. Tutu shared that
she had the compassion to relate to not just
the victims but also the perpetrators of the
atrocities that took place in South Africa and
the ability to understand what they were going
through.
To obtain forgiveness from the Commission and not be subject to further
punishment, the perpetrators had to come before public tribunals and tell the
truth about the crimes they committed. They had to admit their actions to

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themselves, their families, communities and churches – some people just
couldn’t do it. Rev. Tutu had come to a place in her heart where she could
hear and see where the other person was and have the compassion to find
where the other person was coming from. As she aptly observed, walking a
mile in someone else’s shoes can be eye-opening.
Over the years, much progress has been made in South Africa; health clinics,
schools, and resources, which the South African citizens wanted for
reparations. And while progress has come to South Africa, they still have a
long road towards lighting the way for all. Currently, 70% – 80% of the
economy continues to be controlled by white men.
Rev. Tutu reminded us that when helping families, sometimes at very high
levels of conflict, the same message of understanding needs to be shown to
both sides. This mutual openness to understanding is the foundation of
collaborative law—working together to keep the family unit intact, without
litigation and the court system.
During the 3-day event, two distinguished authors also joined us:
• Ann Gold Buscho, The Parent’s Guide to Birdnesting
• Carol R. Hughes and Bruce Fredenburg, Home Will Never Be the
Same Again, A Guide for Adult A Guide for Adult Children of Gray
Divorce
The Collaborative Practice of San Diego group had a robust collaborative
presence at the event between attendees and presenters. We are looking
forward to meeting in Florida in October 2022 for the 23rd annual IACP Forum
Event. #ShineOnCP
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Collaborative Practice San Diego
11622 El Camino Real
Ste 1042
San Diego CA 92130
(858) 472-4022
https://www.collaborativefamilylawsandiego.com/

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