Essay plan and structure dw ss_new

1. Structuring your essay
DorinWang

2. Analyse
the
question
Group
source
materials
Take
notes
Construct
a thesis
statement
Write an
essay plan
Finalise your
references
and citations
Edit and
redraft your
essay
Get some
feedback
Re-read and
make
changes
Write a first
draft

3. Group source materials
■ try to read everything on the reading list?
■ end up with mountains of photocopied material and notes?
■ read without trying to establish connections as you go along?
■ find yourself overwhelmed by the volume of notes you have taken?
■ take notes from the notes … from the notes … from the notes … ?
■ start writing and hope it’ll all work out somehow?

4. Reading grid
Paraphrase main ideas
related to your essay
question from various
sources

5. Thesis statement
■ ‘Learning to read is very important’
A fact / observation
■ 'Current educational philosophies say that reading is a shared, social activity‘
The title of the essay rewritten / paraphrased
■ ‘Reading a lot with different people is the best way to learn to read’
A general statement
1) Thesis statement = your stance / opinion. It should argue a position,
not summarise information.
2) Thesis statement = a preview for the reader, giving information about
the scope, purpose and direction of your essay.

6. Thesis statement
 announces a subject
 is an assertion
 is a statement of fact or an observation.
 takes a stand
 is the main idea
 is the title
 is narrow
 is broad

7. Thesis statement
 announces a subject
 is an assertion
 is a statement of fact or an observation.
 takes a stand
 is the main idea
 is the title
 is narrow
 is broad
It must be a complete sentence
that explains in some detail what
you expect to write about.
If the thesis statement is
sufficiently narrow, it can be fully
supported.

8. Essay question
‘Differences in understanding of the term ‘self-determination’ are at the heart of
the failure of Australia governments to come to terms with the education
demands of Indigenous Australians.’
Analyse this statement.
The differences in understanding of the term ‘self-
determination’ between the government and
indigenousAustralians.
Can you make it better?
Australian governments have failed to satisfy IndigenousAustralians’ educational demands
because of differences in opinion on self-determination, indigenous rights, inclusion in
policy development and cultural recognition. .

9. How to form a thesis statement
Look for possible
relationships in
your source
materials (e.g.
contrasts /
similarities)
Develop your own
argument based on the
source materials /
evidence
Collect &
synthesise
evidence
A thesis is the result of a
lengthy thinking process.
Forming a thesis should not
be the first thing you do after
reading an essay
assignment.

10. Synthesis grid
Contrasts Similarities
what type of social
interaction they
consider to be useful
the importance of
interacting, sharing and
talking when reading to
young children
Can you think of a
thesis statement?
While learning to read is a shared social
experience, successful reading development in
young children is dependent on both the
quality and quantity of different interaction
available.
You can refine your
thesis statement later.

11. Plan your writing

12. Plan your writing
1. Brainstorm some main ideas – answer essay questions
2. Group the ideas – identify the similarities and differences among the ideas
3. Reorganise the ideas – put the ideas into the right headings and subheadings

13. Causes of obesity
1. Read the introduction
2. Identify the thesis statement
3. Identify the main ideas (headings from the planning)

14. Causes of obesity (plan + outline)
The prevalence of obesity has been rising steadily over the last several decades and is currently
at unprecedented levels: more than 68% of US adults are considered overweight, and 35% are
obese (Flegal et al., 2010).This increase has occurred across every age, sex, race, and smoking
status, and data indicate that segments of individuals in the highest weight categories (i.e.,
BMI > 40 kg/m2) have increased proportionately more than those in lower BMI categories (BMI
< 35 kg/m2).The dramatic rise in obesity has also occurred in many other countries, and the
causes of this increase are not fully understood (Hill and Melanson, 1999). Although obesity is
most commonly caused by excess energy consumption (dietary intake) relative to energy
expenditure (energy loss via metabolic and physical activity), the etiology of obesity is highly
complex and includes genetic, physiologic, environmental, psychological, social, economic,
and even political factors that interact in varying degrees to promote the development of
obesity (Aronne, Nelinson, and Lillo, 2009).

15. Analyse
the
question
Group
source
materials
Take
notes
Construct
a thesis
statement
Write an
essay plan
Finalise your
references
and citations
Edit and
redraft your
essay
Get some
feedback
Re-read and
make
changes
Write a first
draft

16. Use your research to plan
your essay.
These are the parts you
must plan to write.
Do you have enough
information?

17. Paragraph structure – body paragraph
There has been considerable speculation in academic circles with regard to the most appropriate mode of
delivering support to students at tertiary level. The noticeable increase in students from non-English speaking
backgrounds together with the promotion of international student exchange programmes across numerous
Australian universities has highlighted the need for more substantial academic support in terms of their
English language and literacy needs. Based on empirical research, Pyke et al. (2012) demonstrated that the
blending of drop-in and one-to-one consultations, workshops, writing clinics, and intensive academic
programmes proved effective in assisting students to fulfil academic assessment requirements as well as
maintain university student retention rates. An instance where this has been demonstrated to work
successfully has been the establishment of a Higher Education Language and Presentation Support Unit
(HELPS) at The University of Technology, Sydney. This would suggest that a hybrid, rather than exclusively
student- or teacher- centric, approach to delivering support could be considered the most effective.
Organisations responsible for the delivery of education should therefore ensure that their policies provide for
sufficient resources to accommodate students’ language requirements.

18. There has been considerable speculation in academic circles with regard to the most appropriate
mode of delivering support to students at tertiary level. The noticeable increase in students from
non-English speaking backgrounds together with the promotion of international student
exchange programmes across numerous Australian universities has highlighted the need for
more substantial academic support in terms of their English language and literacy needs. Based
on empirical research, Pyke et al. (2012) demonstrated that the blending of drop-in and one-to-
one consultations, workshops, writing clinics, and intensive academic programmes proved
effective in assisting students to fulfil academic assessment requirements as well as maintain
university student retention rates. An instance where this has been demonstrated to work
successfully has been the establishment of a Higher Education Language and Presentation
Support Unit (HELPS) at The University of Technology, Sydney. This would suggest that a hybrid,
rather than exclusively student- or teacher- centric, approach to delivering support could be
considered the most effective. Organisations responsible for the delivery of education should
therefore ensure that their policies provide for sufficient resources to accommodate students’
language requirements.

19. Paragraph structure
– Topic Sentence
– Explanation
– Example/Evidence
– Analysis
– Concluding statement

20. Paragraph structure
–Topic Sentence
–Explanation
–Example/Evidence
–Analysis
–Concluding statement

21. Paragraph structure

23. Paragraph structure
Each paragraph can be treated like a burger.
After a topic sentence, you need some meat, lettuce,
and sauce to spice up your paragraph.
You also need another bread bun to be at the bottom of
the burger, and that should be your concluding
sentence.
Unfortunately, most of the students remember to
include the top bread bun (topic sentence), and the
evidence (middle part of the burger),
but they forget to do something about the evidence, i.e.
to analyse the evidence or conclude the paragraph, i.e.
what’s your point of including all the evidence in your
burger? What exactly do you want to say?

24. Paragraph structure – cohesion
There has been considerable speculation in academic circles with regard to the most appropriate mode of
delivering support to students at tertiary level. The noticeable increase in students from non-English speaking
backgrounds together with the promotion of international student exchange programmes across numerous
Australian universities has highlighted the need for more substantial academic support in terms of their
English language and literacy needs. Based on empirical research, Pyke et al. (2012) demonstrated that the
blending of drop-in and one-to-one consultations, workshops, writing clinics, and intensive academic
programmes proved effective in assisting students to fulfil academic assessment requirements as well as
maintain university student retention rates. An instance where this has been demonstrated to work
successfully has been the establishment of a Higher Education Language and Presentation Support Unit
(HELPS) at The University of Technology, Sydney. This would suggest that a hybrid, rather than exclusively
student- or teacher- centric, approach to delivering support could be considered the most effective.
Organisations responsible for the delivery of education should therefore ensure that their policies provide for
sufficient resources to accommodate students’ language requirements.

25. Have a go…
In pairs, write two paragraphs about the cause of obesity.
You must remember to:
1. Have a main heading/idea for each paragraph
2. Not only cite evidence but also show the connection and interpret it

26. Topic sentence
Read the paragraph and then write the topic sentence to match the content.
1)
First, Canada has an excellent health care system. All Canadians have access to
medical services at a reasonable price. Second, Canada has a high standard of
education. Students are taught by well-trained teachers and are encouraged to
continue studying at university. Finally, Canada's cities are clean and efficiently
managed. Canadian cities have many parks and lots of space for people to live. As a
result, Canada is a desirable place to live.
There are three reasons that make Canada an ideal country to live in.

27. Topic sentence
Read the paragraph and then write the topic sentence to match the content.
2)
Although student surveys always show students like to have access to materials
online, the take up of purely online courses is low. When questioned, students find
that studying online can be a lonely and unsatisfying experience. Not only do
students miss the human interaction with other students, they also find the time
lag in getting answers to their questions very frustrating.
Online learning is becoming increasingly popular in recent years, but it has been
unable to replace the conventional style of learning entirely.

28. Topic sentence
Read the paragraph and then write the topic sentence to match the content.
3)
Research shows that countries with high levels of immigration are economically
successful and that there is a correlation between a mobile labour force and
economic prosperity. Immigration serves as an important source of both skilled
and unskilled labour in the UK which has come to depend on migrants to plug gaps
in its skilled professions and to do jobs that the local population are unwilling to
do.
There have been a great deal of studies in the last few decades into the (positive)
impact of immigration.

29. Topic sentence
Read the paragraph and then write the topic sentence to match the content.
3)
Britain had an empire at this time and Germany wanted a similar role in the world.
This meant having a strong navy so the Germans spent a considerable amount of
time and effort building up its naval force. Britain responded to this threat to its
dominance by strengthening its navy even further. This ‘naval race’ contributed to
the increase in tension between the two countries.
Imperial rivalry caused political tension between Britain and Germany.

30. Concluding sentence
A concluding sentence can:
– Give a recommendation
– Make a prediction
– Give an opinion
– Paraphrase the main idea
– Paraphrase the
supporting ideas
A concluding sentence can also:
Link the current paragraph to the following
paragraph by:
– Anticipating the topic sentence of the next
paragraph
– Introduce a word/phrase or new concept
which will then be picked up in the topic
sentence of the next paragraph.
– Use words or phrases that point ahead, for
example, the following, another, other.Coherence

31. Concluding sentence
This separation of production from consumption, and waged from domestic labour is no
mere side-effect of the development of capitalism; it is an essential element of its continued
existence.
It is this dual function of gender division which both characterises and drives capitalist
economic formation.
It was not the presence of women which drove wartime policy, but the absence of men.

32. Concluding sentence –
paragraph 1
In wartime Britain, a primary concern of policy-makers was to facilitate the
employment of women in jobs normally done by men. Although this advantaged
women economically when viewed against a history of systematic exclusion, it was
done entirely without concern for the longer-term prospects of women in the
workforce. Those same ideological currents which has invited women into non-
traditional occupations effectively relegated them to their homes when the war
ended. As Milman (1982) and Trey (1972) agree, wartime employment policies
continues to be based on pre-war conservative values reflecting the interest of
gender divisions.
It is this dual function of gender division which both characterises and drives capitalist
economic formation.

33. Concluding sentence –
paragraph 2
The context of war, though it exemplifies extreme conditions, clearly underlines
patriarchal capitalist ideology with specific regard to the manipulation of women in
and out of the workforce. Although the demands of a wartime economy
necessitated a dramatic re-assessment of women’s roles and capabilities, these
capabilities were only valued as a stop-gap measure to ensure the smooth running
of a capitalist economic system. The entrance of women into the wartime
workforce had immense revolutionary potential. This promise, however, was never
fulfilled because of the threat it posed to a traditional division of labour, which
gave men not only economic superiority but also delegated women to the states of
household slaves.
This separation of production from consumption, and waged from domestic labour is no
mere side-effect of the development of capitalism; it is an essential element of its continued
existence.

34. Concluding sentence –
paragraph 2
In this respect, capitalism has two contradictory demands. On the one hand, it
needs women in the workforce to provide skills where those skills cannot be
provided by men, thus easing pressure on wages. On the other hand, it needs
women in the home as consumers of the products of capitalist production. There is
thus an inherent dilemma facing capitalism. The greater women’ participation in
the paid workforce, the more threatened is their role as primary consumers of
goods and services and as unpaid domestic labourers within the family.
It was not the presence of women which drove wartime policy, but the absence of men.

35. Self-study
■ https://writesite.elearn.usyd.edu.au/m3/m3u1/index.htm
■ https://student.unsw.edu.au/essay-and-assignment-planning
■ https://writesite.elearn.usyd.edu.au/m3/m3u1/m3u1s5/m3u1s5_1.htm
■ https://www.vu.edu.au/sites/default/files/campuses-services/pdfs/working-plan.pdf