Draft copy of my talk for South By South West 2014: "Evil By Design: Leading Customers into Temptation" I'm going to show you how to make your customers happy using techniques that are normally employed by the lowest of the low; con-men, pick-up artists, used car salesmen, and as-seen-on-tv marketers. You'll learn that it's OK to deceive people, and that in fact we do it all the time already. Using examples from the web and the real world, I'll show that not all deception is bad. In fact, there's a continuum from evil, through commercial and motivational to charitable deception. Customers themselves are often complicit in the deception - they *want* to be deceived! Rather than the futile task of trying not to deceive, instead ask what your motives are for deceiving. Learn the design patterns, notice when they are being used against you, and most of all, when you design products make sure you are deceiving for good, not for evil. This is a lighthearted yet serious dissection of dark patterns with a focus on the ethics of persuasive design and practical tips for delighting customers.