Andrea McAleese lost her three-year-old daughter Roma five years ago. After hosting a pamper night for grieving mothers, she got the idea to create the Angel of Hope Memorial Garden in her daughter's memory. She successfully fundraised and received council approval. The memorial garden will be a place for the community to remember lost children and grieve together. Andrea hopes the garden can help other grieving parents and serve as her daughter Roma's legacy.

1. News Feature / Local Women 1314 | News News | 15
Five years after losing her
three-year-old daughter,
Andrea McAleese is about to
turn her idea for the Angel
of Hope Memorial Garden
into a reality
By Cheryl Cole
I
t all started one year ago, when
grieving mother Andrea McAleese
opened up to Local Women about
the pain of losing her beloved three-
year-old daughter Roma.
And it was the ‘Angel of Hope’ pamper
night she held in her salon, Romaya
Hair Sanctuary after that interview that
inspired her to take the next step on her
journey.
One year on, after much hard work and
fundraising, Andrea has just been granted
council permission to build the Angel of
Hope Memorial Garden in memory of her
little girl she lost back in March 2009 in a
tragic accident.
Andrea, 42, explains: “It all happened
after the article in last November’s Local
Women. I invited mums who had been
through similar to me to a pamper night
at my salon and it really inspired me.
“Unless you have lost a child yourself,
no one could ever begin to understand
what it is like, so to be able to meet,
chat with and support people in the
same position as you is such a help.
Roma was my angel, the heart of my
heart and I thought I’d never be able to
smile again. My life effectively stopped
on March 31, 2009, when Roma was
killed and when you are grieving, you
don’t think about how you look or about
pampering yourself, so to be able to give
grieving mothers in the area a chance to
be pampered and make them look like a
million dollars was lovely for me.
Few local people will ever forget the
tragic death of Roma, who was knocked
down by a car while playing outside her
house. The unimaginable despair felt by
Andrea in the months and years that
followed is only really truly understood
by those who tragically have found
themselves in a similar position.
“I looked around me that night and
saw all those faces, all those women, all
those broken hearts and I heard laughter.
I saw smiles and tears and I understood
that all my time spent at Roma’s grave
had been good for me but it had done
nothing for anyone else. I knew I needed
to do something because the loss of a
‘This is
Roma’s
legacy’
child is not something anyone should ever
have to live through without support. It’s
not something anyone should ever be
expected to get over.
“It was after that night that money
started rolling in from donations and
local businesses and I realised how
important having somewhere to share
your memories was. And it was there and
then that the idea of the ‘Angel of Hope
Memorial Garden’ was born, and one year
later here we are and it’s so almost a
reality.”
Andrea posted the idea of the Memorial
Garden on her Facebook page back in
November last year and 2,000 people
showed their support in just 24 hours.
Since then Andrea’s Angel of Hope Fund
has raised £46,000 and she can’t thank
the community, and local businesses
enough for their generosity.
It was last month when Andrea made
an emotional presentation to Coleraine
Borough Council for permission for the
piece of land just outside of Cloonavin that
she needed for her garden. It took a year
of petitioning and campaigning to get to
this point, but the presentation went well
for Andrea – so well in fact that it received
full council backing, something that she’s
been told doesn’t often happen. After so
many difficulties and delays in getting
to this stage, Andrea is very relieved and
excited about starting the building of the
garden.
“It means so much to me. As parents,
you live through your children’s futures
– their school years, them going off to
university, getting married and so on.
But for us mums who lost our children,
we can’t do that and all we can do is live
through is our memories, which is why
this Memorial Garden is so important for
all of us. To have somewhere to go to
reflect and remember our little angels that
we lost, or to meet others going through
the same thing is something I think will
be very helpful for the whole community.
Regardless of religion, or what church or
chapel you belong to, here is somewhere
you can come where none of that
matters. All those children are the same,
perfect in our hearts and memories - no
differences, and there’s not many places
like this in our country.”
Andrea’s idea was
to create a ‘dignified
space for reflection and
thought’ and the garden
is designed as a place to
remember and reflect on
lost lives. Andrea has planned for a glass
‘Fountain of Life’ in the garden and angel
sculptures that rotate in the wind. The
rear of the curved wall will be sheeted
with brushed stainless steel as the “Wall
of Reflection’ where she hopes perhaps
people can leave personal notes and
poems on, and a personal memorial in the
form of a brass star with the child’s name
and age is planned.
She explains: “As children we are
told that each star represents a soul in
heaven. This idea allows for a dignified
and touching reference to the missed
loved one. It’s a beautiful way to leave a
permanent reminder of the precious child
you lost.”
Five years on from the death of her
beautiful daughter Roma, Andrea is still
grieving and will never fully get over the
heartbreak, but she has used her pain as
determination to help people in similar
situations to her, and sees her Angel of
Hope Memorial Garden as a way for her
to give back to the community whose
incredible support helped her through the
hardest time in her life.
She tells us: “This garden won’t
magically make a parent’s pain go away
as the heartbreak of losing a child will
always stay with you, but it truly is a
place of hope, where you can remember
your child and find support there. For me,
this isn’t even ‘my’ project, or ‘my’ bravery
and determination, this is Roma’s legacy.
And for any positivity to come out of such
a tragedy gives me hope and helps me
get through this heartbreak. Knowing that
losing her has meant I am giving hope,
and help to so many other mothers makes
all of this that tiny bit easier, as at least I
know my baby Roma didn’t die in vain.”
Andrea hopes that the Angel of Hope
Memorial Garden will be ready for
opening by summer 2015, and is very
relieved and honoured that her dream is
going to become a reality. She has asked
for any constructors or builders that
could help with the building of the garden,
especially the Fountain of Life and Angel
Statues, to please get in touch. You can
contact Andrea at her salon - Romaya
Hair Sanctuary on Society Street, and
any donations are still welcome and very
much appreciated.
Roma was
my angel, the
heart of my
heart and
I thought
I’d never
be able to
smile again.
My life
effectively
stopped on
March 31,
2009.