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Seek first to understand :EmpathySeek first to understand :Empathy
Empathy :Empathy : Understand the person so well that you identifyUnderstand the person so well that you identify
with him ,you can feel like he does .with him ,you can feel like he does .
How does it help ?How does it help ?
It communicate regard for the person and makesIt communicate regard for the person and makes
him feel valued .Thus open up more.him feel valued .Thus open up more.
Cont…..Cont…..
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Seek first to understand :EmpathySeek first to understand :Empathy
It helps the person share his feelings withIt helps the person share his feelings with
honestyhonesty
It foster the relationship and contributing inIt foster the relationship and contributing in
Win-Win outcomes .Win-Win outcomes .
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Steps of Empathising EffectivelySteps of Empathising Effectively
Skill of empathy involvesSkill of empathy involves
Understanding the other person &Understanding the other person &
Letting him know that you have understood himLetting him know that you have understood him
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Steps…..Steps…..
Learn to be a good, active listenerLearn to be a good, active listener
It requires us to understand the person’s thoughts,It requires us to understand the person’s thoughts,
feelings and opinions .feelings and opinions .
It is more than hearing what is said ; it is alsoIt is more than hearing what is said ; it is also
About hearing what is not said .About hearing what is not said .
It involves receiving message through body language andIt involves receiving message through body language and
facial expressionfacial expression
Proper Eye contactProper Eye contact
Cont….Cont….
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Need to avoid getting preoccupiedNeed to avoid getting preoccupied
Planning your response before the speaker isPlanning your response before the speaker is
through with his speechthrough with his speech
Judging a person while he is speakingJudging a person while he is speaking
Day DreamingDay Dreaming
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Step 2:Understand what is involvedStep 2:Understand what is involved
in empathic respondingin empathic responding
Recognize the emotionRecognize the emotion
Must listen body languageMust listen body language
Reflect EmotionReflect Emotion
State back the person in understanding toneState back the person in understanding tone
Paraphrase and reflect contentParaphrase and reflect content
State it back in concisely with your own wordsState it back in concisely with your own words
Respond to the emotional and verbal content .Respond to the emotional and verbal content .
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Assertiveness: then seek to beAssertiveness: then seek to be
understoodunderstood
Assertiveness : the expression of an ‘I m ok ,Assertiveness : the expression of an ‘I m ok ,
you are ok attitude .It is about freedom inyou are ok attitude .It is about freedom in
expressing oneself while at the same time havingexpressing oneself while at the same time having
consideration for the other person .consideration for the other person .
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How it is different from nonHow it is different from non
assertiveness .assertiveness .
Submissive/Passive behaviorSubmissive/Passive behavior
Behavior which stems from the ‘I am not ok ,you are ok’ attitudeBehavior which stems from the ‘I am not ok ,you are ok’ attitude
What motivates submissive behavior .What motivates submissive behavior .
Want other’s approvalWant other’s approval
Do not want to annoy and upset othersDo not want to annoy and upset others
Body language in this behavior :Body language in this behavior :
Nervous fidgeting ,shuffling feet , sitting on the edgeNervous fidgeting ,shuffling feet , sitting on the edge
of chair ,folded arms .of chair ,folded arms .
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Aggressive behaviorAggressive behavior
Aggressiveness : which stems from the ‘I amAggressiveness : which stems from the ‘I am
ok, you are not ok’ attitude .ok, you are not ok’ attitude .
What motivate aggressive behaviorWhat motivate aggressive behavior
Concerned with own goals little concern for theConcerned with own goals little concern for the
goals of others.goals of others.
Get satisfaction out of beating others .Get satisfaction out of beating others .
Body language accompaniedBody language accompanied
Hands on waist ,pointing fingers , staring ,loudHands on waist ,pointing fingers , staring ,loud
voice etc .voice etc .
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Assertive behaviorAssertive behavior
It is the ‘I am ok, you are ok’ attitude inIt is the ‘I am ok, you are ok’ attitude in
communicationcommunication
What motivates assertive behaviorWhat motivates assertive behavior
Desire to respect own right as well as those othersDesire to respect own right as well as those others
Believe in give and take relationshipBelieve in give and take relationship
Body language accompaniedBody language accompanied
Steady eye contact , open gestures , steady voice .Steady eye contact , open gestures , steady voice .
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Effective SpeechEffective Speech
Use positive words while speakingUse positive words while speaking
Not use jargon wordsNot use jargon words
Specific with commitmentsSpecific with commitments
Comprise appreciative wordsComprise appreciative words
Instead of ‘I’ use ‘We’Instead of ‘I’ use ‘We’
Check fillers like ‘ you know’, ‘actually’ etcCheck fillers like ‘ you know’, ‘actually’ etc
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Effective Body LanguageEffective Body Language
Action Speak Louder than words and equally in whatAction Speak Louder than words and equally in what
you do is so loud , I do not hear what you say .you do is so loud , I do not hear what you say .
55% of our communication is through body language55% of our communication is through body language
It involvesIt involves
Appearance ,Expressions , posture , gestures ,eye contact ,Appearance ,Expressions , posture , gestures ,eye contact ,
personal space .personal space .
Cont…Cont…
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Effective Body LanguageEffective Body Language
In our profile “ we never get a second chance toIn our profile “ we never get a second chance to
make a first impressionmake a first impression
Proper Handshake .Proper Handshake .
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PresentationPresentation
Hygiene .Hygiene .
Dressing .Dressing .
Avoid Speaking in between .Avoid Speaking in between .
Avoid speaking while having lunch .Avoid speaking while having lunch .
Avoid Onion in lunch time or any odourAvoid Onion in lunch time or any odour
matching food .matching food .
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Personal Experiences or Learning'sPersonal Experiences or Learning's
Put yourself into the shoe of customerPut yourself into the shoe of customer
Make your communication as per the person orMake your communication as per the person or
people .people .
““Jo Dikhtha hai wo biktha hai”Jo Dikhtha hai wo biktha hai”
Be ready to learn from anyone .Be ready to learn from anyone .
Best way to learn is to teachBest way to learn is to teach
Always smile , think positive , always believe in ‘TRY’Always smile , think positive , always believe in ‘TRY’
Appreciate good work .Appreciate good work .
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Personal Experiences or LearningPersonal Experiences or Learning
Punctuality .Punctuality .
Deliver what you commit with your customer .Deliver what you commit with your customer .
Always ask for references .Always ask for references .
Always ask to share experiences with us .Always ask to share experiences with us .
Act as per the situation and practical condition .Act as per the situation and practical condition .
Do not hesitate to start , put aside your ‘ego’.Do not hesitate to start , put aside your ‘ego’.
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Please try to adopt thesePlease try to adopt these
things in our daily “salesthings in our daily “sales
life” .life” .
ThanksThanks
Abhijeet Singh Kushwah .Abhijeet Singh Kushwah .
PSO Secbad .PSO Secbad .
