Just a few weeks after I spoke at the MarketingProfs B2B Forum, I was a speaker at Barcamp Nashville, the city's social media unconference. The session ended up being one of the most attended of the day.

1. 7 Advanced Writing Techniques

3. Sturgeon's Law:
95% of everything
is crap.
— Theodore Sturgeon
@edeckers

4. "Write good
content" is
stupid advice

5. The Basics
•Use active voice; passive voice is to
be avoided.
•No infinitives/gerunds (also called
"future continuous").
•Subject & verb at beginning of the
sentence.
@edeckers

6. 1. Write good ledes.
(Write like a journalist,
not a teenager in her diary.)
@edeckers

7. "He coulda been
a credenza."
— David Knowles, The Daily
@edeckers

8. These kill kittens!
• Webster's defines "mediocre" as. . .
• If you've been living under a rock. . .
• My friend, Steve, and I were at our favorite
coffee shop, drinking soy chai lattes. . .
• Take 2 parts "blah," and 3 parts "meh," and
mix them up to create the worst ledes ever.
@edeckers

9. 2. Write 3 – 5 good ledes.
String them together.
@edeckers

11. We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert
when the drugs began to take hold.
I remember saying something like, "I feel a bit lightheaded;
maybe you should drive . . ."
And suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us and the
sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and
screeching and diving around the car, which was going about
100 miles an hour with the top down to Las Vegas.
And a voice was screaming: "Holy Jesus! What are these
goddamn animals?"
@edeckers
— HST, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

12. 3. Metaphors rule.
(Similes will do in a pinch.)
@edeckers

13. Metaphors are pens
Similies are like pencils

14. Men's words are bullets, that
their enemies take up and make
use of against them.
— George Savile, Maxims of State
Life is like a box of chocolates.
— Forrest Gump
@edeckers

16. And the impending squint of first light
It lurked behind a weepin’ marquee in
downtown Putnam
It’d be pullin’ up any minute now
Just like a bastard amber Velveeta yellow cab
on a rainy corner
And be blowin’ its horn in every window in town
— Tom Waits, Nighthawks at the Diner, "Putnam County"

17. 4. Use Simple
Language
@edeckers

18. “We will leverage end user learnings
on a going forward basis.”
“We'll use what you
learned from now on.”
@edeckers

19. “We have created a frictionless user
onboarding experience.”
“Signing up is easy.”
@edeckers

20. 5. Eliminate adjectives
and adverbs.
@edeckers

22. 6. Eliminate
all the
Needless Words
in your work
@edeckers

23. Use the BEST Words
•Don't describe verbs, use the best verb.
•Don't describe nouns, make us see/
feel/hear.
•Show, don't tell.

24. 7. Your English Teacher
Is Not a Writer
@edeckers

25. If proper usage gets
in the way, it may
have to go.
I can’t allow what we
learned in English
composition to
disrupt the
sound and rhythm
of the narrative.
Elmore Leonard

26. Robert Lowth

27. • Split infinitives boldly
• End sentences with prepositions
• Start sentences with And, But, Or
@edeckers

28. Bonus:
"Write Drunk. Edit Sober."
@edeckers

30. Any Questions?
@edeckers

31. Thank you!
Read me
ProBlogService.com
ErikDeckers.com
Reach me
@edeckers
erik@problogservice.com