PLEASE SHARE! A journey of an Aunt with Alzheimer's disease, family dynamics, legal, financial, emotional and care giving challenges. A legal guardianship was required because the family could not agree on the care of my Aunt and the management of her finances. My Aunt passed away one year ago January 10, 2017. I managed her care and questioned the exorbitant legal fees over the years. For Sixteen years I faced numerous challenges with the quality of her care and trying to keep her expenses down. In the meantime, the lawyers were charging THOUSANDS of DOLLARS YEARLY for the annual accounting and basic court filings that were the same year after year. In the end, it cost my Aunt's Estate over $500,000.00 for legal fees. A year ago, the journey continued with more frustration and dishonesty from the bank and lawyers...finally, six months after Aunt Sara's death, I hired Hilda Porro https://www.hildaporrolaw.com/ PA and Ron Denman http://www.bleakleybavol.com/denman.html in order to close the guardianship and move through the probate. After all of these years, I'm finally in the care of LAWYERS with INTEGRITY. I would highly recommend both Hilda, Ron and Lori McKee, P.A. my accountant who has been amazing support since the moment I brought my Aunt to live near me sixteen years ago.

1. Aunt Sara
LIVING IN THE MOMENT
Memories of the Past
Gifts of the Present
By
Sara Fattori

2. I hope my story will prevent others from
experiencing
heart breaking family conflict.
In case of memory loss,
who would you like to be IN CHARGE
of YOUR LIFE?

3. In 2002, thirty two percent
of persons with
moderate or severe
MEMORY LOSS were age 85
or older.

4. Individuals 85
years and older, are
one of the fastest
growing segments
of our population.

5. In 2002, $103 Billion
was spent on
Nursing Home Care.

6. MAKE A PLAN

7. Unless, preparations and planning are
made in ADVANCE with the guidance
from a …
§ Trust Attorney
§ Geriatric Care Manager
§ Long Term Care Insurance Provider
AND a Financial Institution. . . .

8. MEMORY LOSS
BROKEN
FAMILY SYSTEM
and a

9. Can lead to …
CONFLICT
TRAGEDY
and

10. The Story of…………

11. Sara Blitch Sirmans
Born November 29, 1915

12. Charles Blitch (my Dad)
Bedford Blitch
Sara Blitch
Raised by a single mother,
Tallulah Everett Blitch
(my Grandmother)
Sara has two brothers-

13. Sara with her
brother and sister-
in-law

14. Sara loves the beach!

15. datingSara ...
NOT
SURE

16. Sara meets Hagan
Sara
Everett Blitch
Virginia
Everett Blitch

17. Sara and Hagan enjoy over 50 years of marriage in
Albany, Georgia
MY SISTER AND I TAKE THE TRAIN FROM
SAVANNAH TO ALBANY EVERY SUMMER
DURING THE
1960’S

18. … My new husband joins me
to check on Aunt Sara and
Uncle Hagan
in Albany, Georgia
1993

19. Our friendly visit
becomes a CRISIS

20. Uncle Hagan is in a
COMA

21. My Dad arrives
to be with his sister
during her time of need
I return home to Palm Beach

22. Within a day of
arriving back home …
my Dad calls to tell me
he must return home
IMMEDIATELY,

23. as my mother is NOT
answering the phone
(She struggles with anxiety depression)

24. I must RETURN to Albany, as
Hagan is still in a coma and ...

25. … Decisions MUST be made

26. My Aunt is clearly in a state of
CONFUSION or the early stages of
ALZHEIMER’S
No other family members are available to help

27. I’m not …
PREPARED
… for this responsibility!

28. However, I had to be the one
to make the decision to have
the ventilator removed from
Uncle Hagan.

29. As
Uncle Hagan
Passes,
I Assure Him, I’ll Do My Best
To Care For Sara
Until She Joins Him.

30. In the midst of chaos, take time for peace.

31. Funeral plans begin and
my Aunt says to the funeral
director, “she’s a decorator”, and
has me select the casket.

32. 1994
Sara and my
grandmother
loved gardening.
They both grew
Heritage Roses.
Gardening is a
beneficial activity
during the early
stages dementia.
Weekly calls and
yearly visits, begin
between Sara and I…….

33. UNTIL 1997 WHEN…..

34. AWARENESS
ANXIETY
• During my visits the memory
loss begins to reveal itself
• I have a new baby
• Phone calls from Albany
becoming more frequent
• Discussions with friends,
church, lawyer, adult
protection services and local
police

35. Being with nature becomes critical when you are
living in a assisted or skilled nursing facility!

36. More and more phone calls ...
“Sara needs your help!”
I continue to try and enlist my
family for an INTERVENTION
The timing NEVER seems to be
right for them.
1998

37. DENIAL
• I begin family conversations, questions
and the push for a plan
• Denial and the recurring request to
“Wait … Sara is OK for now”
• It is inevitable, that I will have to move
her out of her beloved home.
1999

38. The Final
Phone
Call for
Help

39. A member of Sara’s church
called and said
with a FIRM voice …
2000

40. “You do not know me,
however, your aunt has
become dependent on me.
I would advise that you enlist
the help of a sibling and
bring her near your family.”

41. The Final Decision
• A neighbor calls frantically to say
that men have been entering her
house daily.
• The bank calls to let me know
Sara withdraws large sums of cash
daily.

42. 2001
Breath Pray Breath
In January,
I move Aunt Sara from Albany, Georgia
to an assisted living facility
in my home town of
Jupiter, Florida

43. Aunt Sara with Frances (my daughter)
The first Assisted Living Facility:
Courtyard Gardens Jupiter, Florida
2001

44. Days Turn To Weeks And
The Years Run Together
PSYCHIATRIST
POLICE
NEUROLOGIST
LAWYERs
VIOLENT BEHAVIOR
EMERGENCY ROOMS
BAKER ACTED
LAW SUITES
PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL
COURT ROOMS
JUDGES
LOCKED UNIT
GUARDIANSHIP
SOCIAL WORKER

45. YOU MUST FIND PLACES OF ORDER
AND TRANQUILITY …Thank you Mr. Morikami

46. And There Is
Something Called
CAREGIVERS
DEMENTIA

47. IT A 36 HOUR DAY
The
bible”
for
families
caring
for
people
with
Alzheimer
disease,
offering
comfort
and
support
to
millions
worldwide.
Really Is
THE
BOOK
recommended
by
the
woman
(96years
old)
that
Aunt
Sara
was
depending
on.

48. the whole family was hit by a train.
Going through a dark tunnel of
despair and anguish. I was told to
bring Sara home and that my actions
were “cruel”.
(They just did not understand.)
The
grief
I
felt,
because
of
the
acLons
by
my
siblings
parents,
was
as
though
….

49. COLOR MAKES YOU HAPPY AT ALL AGES.
Bright colors are especially important for the
elderly with dementia.

50. A SARA AND SARA SELFIE

51. Sara enjoyed music and entertaining.
Sara still enjoys music.

52. TYBEEBEACH
Sara enjoying the beach.

53. Sara is still enjoying the ocean!

55. Sara is still enjoying correspondence.
Letters and cards kept in her pink pocket-book.

56. Sara spends time daily reading her
Georgia State College Year Books.

57. GETTING OUT OF THE “INSTITUTION” AND INTO
NATURE IS MANDATORY!
Morikami Gardens is wonderful place to take a loved one…
”on wheels” young or old.

60. THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE, LIGHT AND BEAUTY.

61. The support system during
the past 14 years!
ST MARK’S EPISCOPAL CHURCH SCHOOL
Jane Antill
NORTHERN TRUST
Rebecca Doane
DOANE DOANE, P.A.
Gwynne Du Bose’
DU BOSE CARE MANAGEMENT
LOURDES MC KEEN SKILLED CARE

62. HIRING A PROFESSIONAL GERIATRIC CARE MANAGER CAN GREATLY
REDUCE STRESS, SAVE TIME, AND OFFER KNOWLEDGABLE
ADVICE IN ADVANCE AND DURING THE CARE.

63. Attorneys at Law
North palm Beach, Florida
www.doaneanddoane.com

64. Northern Trust Bank
NORTH PALM BEACH, FL 33408
www.northerntrust.com

65. ST Mark’s Episcopal Church School
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida
www.stmarkspbg.com

66. DU BOSE CARE MANAGEMENT
www.dubosecares.com

67. Lourdes
Noreen
McKeen
West
Palm
Beach,
Florida
www.lourdesmckeen.org