Dialogue with 6th grade girls on social development for girls and making wise choices for healthier relationships, no matter what stage you're at.

1. Social Development for Girls
Please bring:
-writing journal
-writing utensil
-foldy chair
6th Grade
December 12, 2014
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

2. Social Development
Joanne Deak, Girls Will Be Girls
• Self Awareness (0-2)
• Parallel Play (2-3)
• Interactive Play (3-6)
• Transitory Friendships (6-8)
• Friendship Clusters (8-10)
• Best Friends or Generalists (10-12)
• Cliques (12-14)
• Interest-Based Friendship Groups (14+)
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

3. The Thing About Models
• All Models Have Some
Value
• All Models Have Some
Limitations
• Models Have Stages
and Timelines;
Experiences Do Not
• Models Can, However
Give Language to
Experiences
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

4. Choices and Actions
• Think about where you are
• Think about where your peers are
• Listen fully to “good and bad choices”
• Decide what you want to do
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

5. Self Awareness (0-2)
This is that delightful stage when you discover
the difference between yourself and others. You
may look at your hands like they’re strange
things apart from your consciousness, but then
you realize that you can feel and do with your
fingers what others cannot.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

6. Parallel Play (2-3)
This is a stage when you learn how to play by
yourself. If you learn to play with others, it’s
really only to watching what they do and mimic it
in your own play. In parallel play, having the
exact same toys is important, because you’re too
self-absorbed to know how to share or know that
sharing is even an option.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

7. Interactive Play (3-6)
This is a stage when you learn to interact with
others. You go through the clumsy steps of
realizing the consequences of selfishness,
kindness, communication, etc. with others.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

8. Transitory Friendships (6-8)
This stage begins the Baskin Robbins Years.
You have to taste every flavor in order to
discover which ones you like and which ones you
don’t like. You seem to drift from friend to friend,
and you have no particular preferences. You see
them equally for now, and each new flavor is
exciting and gets a different reaction. You are
open to spending time with anyone and
everyone.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

9. Friendship Clusters (8-10)
You start to discover that you like flavors with
nuts in them - pistachio, maple walnut, butter
pecan, almond mocha. It’s not that you don’t like
other flavors or don’t appreciate differences - you
just like these better. Your friendship cluster is
accepting and more fluid. Your cluster won’t
freak out if bubble gum ice cream approaches
you in the mall. You are exploring the beginnings
of real friendships and relationships.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

10. Best Friends or Generalists (10-12)
You realize that butter pecan is far away your favorite
flavor. Maple walnut comes pretty close, but nothing
else really compares. Your best friend is someone
you could spend 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with.
Several times, you’ve spent all day at school
together, you’ve gone home, and then you call your
friend right away. You start to understand how to act
in an intimate relationship.
But maybe you’re not built for a best friend.
Generalists never need this intimacy. If you are a
generalist, you are simply wired to appreciate all
flavors and keep social nets wide open.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

11. Cliques (12-14)
You’re getting close to peers and drawing away
from adults. Your friends sometimes even
replace the stability offered by the anchor of
adults. In this confusing time, it’s sure nice being
surrounded by others that look alike, talk alike, or
act alike. You can ask your clique for advice,
advise others, report back outcomes and hear
about theirs. You feel safe in your clique’s
cocoon until, one day, you are strong enough
and independent enough to stand outside of the
group, or somewhat alone.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

12. Interest-Based Friendship Groups (14+)
Your friends are based on shared interests,
passions, or philosophies. You can be genuine
friends with both boys and girls. Your groups are
non-exclusive, and you may belong to more than
one group. Some of your groups have cross-over
because of interest cross-over. This stage
feels like all the benefits of clusters and cliques
without the downside: acceptance, activity, and
social creativity, without insecurity, narrowness,
and meanness. You live in this social place for a
majority of your adult life.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

13. Debrief Conversations
• What was new, interesting, or surprising?
• What stage(s) describe you today?
• How will you apply this information?
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

14. Debrief Journaling
• Where are YOU?
• Where are some of your closest peers?
• How do you want to approach friendships
and relationships so that they become
healthier or stronger?
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)