The Vetinari Dualegacy Chapter 20


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In which there is fighting, dating, partying, dating, and much fun to be had.

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The Vetinari Dualegacy Chapter 20

  1. 1. Welcome back to the Vetinari Dualegacy! This is Chapter 20: Friends. Mostly because I didn’t have another name for it. If you were expecting a chapter full of angst and plot… Um, yeah, this is mostly just a happy fluffy chapter of college hijinks, including fights, TJ’s Cow Mascot Head Trophy, toga parties where most of the attendees show up in their jim-jams, and cramming grilled cheese sandwiches down everyone’s gullet. Wooooo?
  2. 2. Billy is still placeholding for me. Remember Billy? Goofy Pleasure Sim? Cypress’s accidental abduction baby? Well, whether you do or not, he’s pledging Bucky into Havelock House.
  3. 3. They’re also half-brothers. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: my family trees got a little weird this generation. Bucky cheats. Billy pretends not to notice him dealing off the bottom of the deck.
  4. 4. “You love my evil-face.” It’s such a good evil-face. Fuller “Bucky” Vetinari, Gen 7 Uglacy spare, is a Sagittarius 8/1/10/10/0 Fortune Sim with the LTW to be a Business Tycoon. He’s Marconi’s twin brother, and tended to be the brains behind whatever they were up to. Mean as he is, he was the only one of the Gen 7 kids to cry autonomously when Xander died.
  5. 5. R. Buckminster “Bucky” Fuller (1895-1983) designed the geodesic dome, a lattice shell structure that is both lightweight and strong. The only self-supporting geodesic sphere in existence now is Spaceship Earth at Epcot Center in Florida—it’s the big silver golf ball thing. A carbon allotrope named after Fuller, the buckminsterfullerene, resembles a geodesic sphere, and has several unique properties, such as being an incredibly poor heat conductor and being extremely strong despite its size. Anyway, now you know why his nickname is “Bucky.”
  6. 6. Havelock House still has occasional pest problems. OK, I say “problems,” but really, it’s not so much a problem.
  7. 7. For instance, cranky Bucky is more than happy to take some of that baseline anger out on the Llama Mascot.
  8. 8. Then there’s Billy, of course. Poke him once, shame on you. Poke him twice, NOW you’re dealing with a Vetinari. Poke him three times, now you’re sandwiched between TWO Vetinaris.
  9. 9. At first, I was as baffled by this as Blonde Goopy. I checked Bucky’s Relationship Panel, and he was Furious with Billy. It seems that Bucky is shy and mean, and does not appreciate Dirty Jokes. This is going to present a problem with Carver and Whitney and Connor. Fair’s not as shy as Bucky, but he’s equally mean, and doesn’t want people pushing their luck with him. Oh, this is going to be FUN.
  10. 10. “Marco, hey! I tried to call you earlier but no one answered. …What? You’re a vampire now? OK, so no more daylight phone calls, got it. …She what? Seriously? Gramma’s dead? …No, I believe you. I guess I understand it, but I don’t know what to say. …Let me tell them. They’re coming over in a few minutes, and Tess would rather hear it in person, I’m sure. Plus if Fair’s gonna lose it again, I’d rather be around to stop him from going off on someone. …Yeah, I’ll talk to you later.”
  11. 11. “I, uh, just got a call from Marco. He said he’s a vampire now, so don’t call him when the sun’s up. And, um… He also said that Gramma died. She turned him into a vampire and then waited for sunrise. He sounded pretty broken up about it. He wanted to tell you himself, but I thought you should hear the news in person.” “Oh, poor Marco! It must be so lonely there by himself!” “Fair?”
  12. 12. “I’m fine. I miss Gramma, but she knew what she was doing. She did a lot for us, and if she wanted a break, who are we to say that she has to keep giving?” “Ooh, I’m glad you’re not angry!”
  13. 13. “Group hug!” “Don’t touch me, Bucky.”
  14. 14. Billy finishes his last exam and earns a money doodad at the same time.
  15. 15. He poofs into some mismatched Adult clothes and heads back to Riverblossom Hills.
  16. 16. I have all the pre-rebuild houses binned, so I move him into a copy of Gerry’s Pleasure Sim Playground, which I will eventually get around to redecorating. Then I call up his girlfriend EphemeralToast and propose. Then they sang karaoke and jumped on the couch. EphemeralToast writes the Ugothlacy.
  17. 17. Back at college, Carver is still a pledge. The time-suck for Bucky was the poker table, but Carver prefers the bubble blower.
  18. 18. “Did you just fart on that plate?” “Better out than in, right?” “NO. I will get a cork, I promise.”
  19. 19. “I just got out of the hot tub and I’m all relaxed. You wanna beat it up instead?” “Yes. Yes I do.”
  20. 20. “I look like my dad!” Except for the eye color. You got your mom’s eyes. Carver Vetinari, Gen 7 Prettacy spare, is a Taurus 2/9/7/10/5 Pleasure Sim. His LTW is to be a Celebrity Chef. Originally, he wanted 50 First Dates, but no way am I doing that with all the other “number” LTWs I’m doing right now. Carver’s pretty mellow, but a total Pleasure Sim. I worry about unleashing him on Bucky and Fair, though.
  21. 21. George Washington Carver (1864-1943) was the first prominent Black American scientist, and is best known for his research into alternative uses of peanuts. He advocated planting crops other than cotton in Southern fields, and promoted sweet potatoes, peanuts, soybeans, and pecans as crops to plant that would allow the fields to recover and replace nutrients lost with the growing of cotton. Due to his promotion of Southern agriculture, he also promoted race relations in post-Civil War America.
  22. 22. With the addition of Carver, it’s time to party! From left to right, it’s Kate, Niobe, Brooke, and PB. Don’t worry; we’ll get to them later.
  23. 23. Like all good Vetinaris, Carver wears pajamas. River and Fair, not so much.
  24. 24. River might not be in her jammies, but Scott is. He’s a finger-gunner like Carver.
  25. 25. Yes, Kate is stalking Scotty. Yes, this will become a problem later. Yes, there will be a decided lack of pictures of her as we go on, because Sims who annoy me do not get slides, KATE.
  26. 26. Soooo, I didn’t do enough micro-managing, and Carver told Fair a Dirty Joke, and Fair was not amused. This will not end well.
  27. 27. Because, you know, Carver’s not as nice as Billy, and he hits back. Yeeaaaaaaah. Good times.
  28. 28. I see a lot of this. It seems like someone is always flamey-thought-ballooning Fair.
  29. 29. I see a lot of this, too, but I worry less about slapping when I see pillow fights. Bucky was originally doing something else, but Tess wanted to pillow fight, so of course he had to drop what he was doing and grab a pillow.
  30. 30. “Carver, congratulations on going to college!” “Thanks! Mind if I beat your brother up now?” “Well, kinda…”
  31. 31. Tess is Platinum, someone’s flamey-thought-ballooning Fair, Bucky’s looking for a safe place to hide… Yup, nothing out of the ordinary here!
  32. 32. “You guys gonna cheat?” “Yup.” “Uh-huh.”
  33. 33. “Fine then; I’m out.” This cannot be a good thing. Carver refuses to sit at the poker table with Fair.
  34. 34. zzzzzz…Urge to kill rising… zzzzzzz Llama aside, it’s time for Tess and Fair to move in.
  35. 35. “Where’s Carver? I need to work off some aggression.” Yeah, have fun with that. Faraday “Fair” Vetinari, Gen 7 Uglacy spare, is a Taurus 9/7/5/10/0 Knowledge Sim with the LTW to be a Media Magnate. He’s mean, and doesn’t care who knows it, although, like his brothers, he dotes on his twin sister.
  36. 36. Michael Faraday (1791-1867) is best known for his contributions to electromagnetism and electrochemistry. In fact, the unit of electrical capacitance is named for him: the farad. He magnetized a ray of light (the Faraday effect) and created a method of electrical shielding (the Faraday cage). He also invented an early form of the Bunsen burner and discovered colloidal nanoparticles, giving birth to nanoscience.
  37. 37. “Hee! It’s like I’m playful just like everyone else!” But you’re not. Tesla “Tess” Vetinari, Gen 7 Uglacy heir, is a Pisces 10/3/10/1/10 Grilled Cheese Sim with the LTW to Eat 200 Grilled Cheese Sandwiches. She’s been working on that one since she was old enough to eat solid food, and there’s a whole fridge full of half-eaten sandwiches at Havelock House for her. She is awesome, and I love her.
  38. 38. Nikola Tesla (1856-1943) studied electromagnetism and electricity, and his patents are the basis for modern alternating current power sources. He also pioneered wireless electricity transfer. The unit of magnetic field, the tesla, is named for him. When Tesla arrived in the United States, he worked for Thomas Edison, for whom he redesigned motors and generators, only to have Edison stiff him when it came to payment or credit. Then he lost the patent for the radio to Guglielmo Marconi. In his later years, he worked on a “death ray.” Whether his “death ray” was related to the treatment of him by his peers, or not, no one will ever know.
  39. 39. Only one thing can make Bucky cringe like this.
  40. 40. Sadly, it does not involve a Llama Mascot in any way.
  41. 41. Like Fair needed a reason to be more crabby. Thanks, Carver.
  42. 42. “Yay! I get to play your video games for a change!” I let them invite Marco over every few days. After dark, naturally. And I try to remember to have someone send him home at 6:30am.
  43. 43. Tess is quite possibly the only person who can play this game with her brothers and not get the everloving crap punched out of her. They don’t punch her hard, ever. Anyone else is going to get hammered, but not Tess. That is how you know her brothers adore her.
  44. 44. Marco can get away with tickling Fair. I wouldn’t recommend it to too many others, though.
  45. 45. Marco’s just good for tickles in general. This particular tickle was to distract Tess from congratulating him on skipping college for the third time. Tess, of course, will be getting married. Marco, probably not so much.
  46. 46. “Have you seen your brother? I haven’t punched anything in a while.” “Don’t know where he is. We can play if you want.”
  47. 47. It looks like Bucky’s got his brother’s back. Carver should know better than to play with any of the Uglacy boys.
  48. 48. Bell and Whitney are still hanging around too. Bell gets roped into doing Carver’s term paper, because Carver kept rolling Wants to skip class, and needed to get his grade meter up.
  49. 49. In other news, Fair and Carver are in the same room without trying to kill each other.
  50. 50. Fair’s taking it pretty hard. I don’t think he ever expected to lose a fight.
  51. 51. “I can’t beat up Carver if he’s talking on the phone in the corner!” Yeah, that was deliberate. Trivia Time! It takes a Sim 17 bites to eat a grilled cheese sandwich!
  52. 52. “Ahahaha, you want to move in now?” “Yeah, kinda. The dorms are full of smelly, slouchy people.” “Well, all right. Did Carver tell you about the hazing?” “What hazing?”
  53. 53. “This hazing!” “Ow!” “Okay, you can move in now.”
  54. 54. “Tess! You know what we need? We totally need a day full of girly stuff! Like, shopping and makeovers and not hanging around our brothers!” “But I like my hair! And this is a really cute outfit!”
  55. 55. “Aw, come on! This is the closest either of us will get to having a sister, so why not live it up? I mean, we grew up with brothers, we’re living with our brothers, we’re going to end up marrying a guy and having what will inevitably be a bunch of sons—we should enjoy this while we have it! And what are sisters for, if not shopping and getting mani-pedis and talking about how dumb our brothers are?” “Oh, I don’t think my brothers are dumb!”
  56. 56. “Whitney. Tess. Have you seen Carver? My knuckles are lonely.” “…Hey, Whitney! You know what we need? Girly Day!” “I knew you’d see it my way. Let’s go!”
  57. 57. “Shorba ko! You guys seen the girls?” “Meh, Whitney said something about ‘ARGH STUPID BOYS’ and she and Tess went out.” “Coolios.”
  58. 58. “That was such a good idea! I’m glad you talked me into it!” “Well, Fair did some of the heavy lifting. Either way, I’m happy to be out of that lame bomber jacket. And you look so cute with your hair down!” “Oh, but I wish it was pretty red like yours!”
  59. 59. “I dunno, I think if you had red hair, you’d look a bit ‘Christmas,’ you know? Red hair, green skin, maybe not the best combination.” “Ooh, you’re right! I never thought of it that way! It’s so much fun having a sister!” “We’ll just have to enjoy it while it lasts!”
  60. 60. “I also look like my dad, but blonde.” Another little Rizzo-clone. Bell Vetinari, Gen 7 Prettacy spare, is a Sagittarius 2/3/9/10/5 Pleasure Sim with the LTW of 50 Dream Dates. And HE WILL GET THEM IF IT KILLS US BOTH. Oh yes. He will get them. Bell’s much shyer than either of his siblings, and somehow manages to get roped into their schemes despite that.
  61. 61. Alexander Graham Bell (1847-1922) is best known for inventing the telephone and the phonograph. The original telephone used liquid as a medium for transmitting sound, and Bell is accused of stealing the idea from rival scientist Elisha Gray. However, he considered the telephone to be intrusive, and refused to have one in his study, though his personal distaste did not prevent him from starting Bell Telephone Company and raking in the fat stacks of cash from the invention. Also, don’t think I don’t see you there, KATE.
  62. 62. “Sho ska, everybody!” A Vetinari who finger-guns? What a surprise! Whitney Vetinari, Gen 7 Prettacy heir, is a Sagittarius 2/9/9/10/5 Popularity Sim with the LTW to be The Law. She’s a real spitfire, always looking for trouble to get into and trusting that she’ll find her way out of it.
  63. 63. Eli Whitney (1765-1825) invented the cotton gin, which shaped the economy of the antebellum South and strengthened the economic foundation of slavery. When lawsuits surrounding the cotton gin drove him into debt, he promoted the idea of interchangeable parts, which, when combined with his ideas about power machinery and dividing labor, underlie the current system of American manufacturing. Whitney used his innovations to create a successful arms manufacturing business, which later led to his sons’ involvement in the Winchester and Colt domination of the American West.
  64. 64. And you may as well have a shot of Tess’s makeover too. Clearly, she does not understand “seventh-generation Uglacy.” Because SHE IS PRETTY, DAMMIT.
  65. 65. “Bucky? What’s with the getup?” “You know how really Outgoing Sims show up to toga parties in their pajamas?” “Yeah.” “It turns out really Shy Sims get even less naked for toga parties.” “Wow. Bummer.”
  66. 66. I let Whitney and Carver throw parties whenever they want, as long as no one else is Fearing a party. Bucky’s the worst for it. Pop Sim Whitney loves parties. Her favorite part is all the New Someones to Meet.
  67. 67. I try to only invite my playables to the parties, so that when someone makes a beeline for the piano, it’s not horrible for everyone else. Bell is easily bored, however.
  68. 68. Tess and her gazillion Nice points always tip big, which means the pianist tends to be very happy when they get up at the end of the party.
  69. 69. Of course, in this case, she might be tipping big because it’s Connor. I’d tip half-naked pianist Connor too.
  70. 70. This is Fair’s response to a party when he’s had enough of other people and their need to socialize.
  71. 71. Once again, I am reminded of the need to put a leash on my Sims. I don’t even want to think about the trouble Whitney and Baz could get into together.
  72. 72. Did you know that Sims can spy on their neighbors at night? I didn’t! Now I do. Thanks to Faraday.
  73. 73. Connor, meanwhile, enjoys his status as Big Man At The Poker Table.
  74. 74. “Are you not eating a grilled cheese sandwich?” “It’s a party. I’m allowed to eat pizza at a party. Especially if I sneak down here and eat it while no one’s looking.”
  75. 75. Whitney enjoys Aspiration Points on her pizza.
  76. 76. I love how Tess fixes the computer by waving a screwdriver at it like a magic wand and offering up words of encouragement.
  77. 77. Hooray! Carver and Fair are no longer enemies! I don’t have to watch them so closely anymore! I checked Fair’s Relationship Panel, and he’s Furious with Bucky now. I don’t know why. I don’t want to know why. It’s Fair, and he’s got to be pissed with someone, I guess.
  78. 78. Most of them are good at taking care of themselves, but not so much Whitney. If I don’t keep an eye on her, she’ll sit at the piano until she’s smelly, starving, in need of a wee, and ready to drop of sheer exhaustion.
  79. 79. “Lalalala, not eating grilled cheese, lalalala…” So instead of eating a grilled cheese sandwich, you’re eating cheese on bread dough, with tomato sauce and pepperoni? “…Dammit…”
  80. 80. At least there’s one person Fair’s not mad at. Yay!
  81. 81. “Tess! I have a proposition for you!” “Um, okay?” “So, there are five bedrooms here, right? And four of us guys and two of you girls? And Carver and I are sharing a room?” “Yeah?”
  82. 82. “I was thinking it would make more sense for you and Whitney to share a room instead of me and Carver, because you’re the only girls, you know?” “Gosh, I guess that does make sense.” “So you and Whitney will switch with me and Carver?”
  83. 83. “I suppose we could, but…” “But what?” “It won’t be long before Bucky leaves, and then everyone would have their own rooms anyway, right?” “Sure.”
  84. 84. “And really, this is the only time Whitney and I will ever have our own rooms. We shared with you guys when we were growing up, and when we move back home, we’ll get married and have to share with the guys we marry, but you guys can have your own rooms then if you want them. So doesn’t it make more sense for us to have our own rooms now, since we’ll never get the chance again?” “I didn’t think about it like that. It kind of does make sense. I guess I could share with Carver until Bucky moves out.” “Oh, I’m so glad!”
  85. 85. “Heh. Congratulations on surviving Hurricane Tess.” “’Hurricane Tess?’ What are you talking about? The last thing I’d describe Tess as is a hurricane.” “You don’t think she’s a massive force of nature?” “No?”
  86. 86. “Did you approach her with a perfectly reasonable request?” “Yes.” “Did you get what you wanted?” “No.” “Do you feel bad about not getting what you wanted?” “No.”
  87. 87. “Most important question: Do you feel sort of silly for asking in the first place?” “Yeah. …Damn, she’s good.” “Have a seat, my young Padawan.”
  88. 88. “Any tips for dealing with her?” “Just give her what she wants, my friend.” “That’s not really a tip.” “She’ll get it anyway; why fight it?” “So your big solution is just to bend to her every whim and desire?” “Yes. Yes it is.”
  89. 89. “So should I give you everything you want too?” “Do you want me to bite you?” “No.” “Then yes.” “Uh… Hooray, you win!” Time to check up on some of the other houses, I think!
  90. 90. This is the first of the spare houses. These are Pen and Simon’s twin daughters, River and Brooke. River’s on the left; she’s got the darker skintone. Brooke’s on the right, with the rounder face. They both rolled Fortune, and they both got Simon’s shyness. River, unlike Brooke, also got the Vetinari mean. “Pen” is Penguingirl0384, writer of the Penguino Legacy, who won hunky Simon’s Bachelor Challenge.
  91. 91. Next in the house is River and Brooke’s cousin Kate, the daughter of Fiona and Reed. She also got the shyness Fee inherited from daddy Chad. Unlike the rest of her housemates, Kate is Family, so the fourth household member had to be chosen with utmost care, to avoid Family Sim Desperation Flirting.
  92. 92. Hence Basil. Baz is Reed’s brother, making him Kate’s uncle, conveniently making him unavailable for her Family Sim depredations. Baz is also a Fortune Sim, giving him insta-chemistry with Brooke and River. He’s also technically Larch’s son, from Spider Jerusalem’s Completely Hypothetical Bachelor Challenge (his SimSelf mom is Orikes, writer of the Pseudo Legacy), and he got 4 out of 5 of Larch’s personality point spreads, including the Neat, the Mean, and the penchant for nudity.
  93. 93. Also in residence is Arthur Dent, the bird Billy wanted when he lived in the house, and is still alive and flapping. Arthur Dent, that is. Billy is not known to flap.
  94. 94. Oh, and Randy Knight is still hanging around. He doesn’t live here, but, Randy Knight. He makes my inner fourteen-year-old boy giggle.
  95. 95. Baz sets about making friends. Since he started life as a Teen Townie, his personal circle is a little small, and he’s so outgoing that he’ll just keep wanting to make friends if I don’t get a headstart.
  96. 96. I also make sure Baz makes friends with River…
  97. 97. …and Brooke.
  98. 98. See, all three of them are Fortune Sims, and they all have a preference for the opposite gender, and none of them are intended for someone in particular, and Baz has 10 Outgoing… Basically, I have Baz make friends with the two of them, and then trust to his finger-gunning nature to choose one. Then Pen and Simon get a little grandspawn.
  99. 99. Sadly, Baz did not inherit Larch’s nine Active points, so he needs to nap at occasionally inopportune moments. I am used to Sims who are close to maxed Active, so his four Active points baffle me. Like, why are you sleeping? It’s not 4am yet!
  100. 100. This took all of four days. Baz went for mean little River over Brooke with the nice points.
  101. 101. Four days, and they’re Crushing on each other. They’re not even best friends yet.
  102. 102. Baz still needs to make friends. Oh, and he seemed like he needed some manscaping, so I busted out the body hair overlay I found on GOS. Connor has some too, but his skin’s so dark the hair doesn’t show up as well. But it’s there.
  103. 103. And lest you think River will be steamrolled by exhibitionist Baz…
  104. 104. …she can hold her own just fine.
  105. 105. In fact, she’s the one who initiated this particular Flirt.
  106. 106. And that happens to be the Flirt that gets River in love with Baz. And makes the two of them Best Friends. They celebrate with the traditional “wave at each other.”
  107. 107. Kate immediately jumps in to congratulate her uncle, although he’s not actually in love with anyone yet, so she may be giving the thumbs-up to the wrong person.
  108. 108. “You’re hot.” “Huh? Sorry, haven’t taken a shower in the last five minutes.” “What will you do if I poke your nose?” “Be annoyed.”
  109. 109. He’s got the right idea, at least. No, Basil, you do not get them both. I was surprised that he hadn’t started randomly stalking River for Make Out, but then it occurred to me that he was a Teen Townie before I moved him to Uni, so he didn’t have any Mystery Sim memories, and he wouldn’t autonomously do the really Romantic interactions until he’d had his lock popped, as it were.
  110. 110. So he gets his pink swirly hearts with River. River, of course, got her pink swirly hearts with Marco, just like a bunch of the other Teen girls of her generation. This was also what it took to get Baz to fall in love with River. They have three bolts now, compared to the two he has for Brooke.
  111. 111. Now that Baz has been indoctrinated into the wonders of lip-to-lip contact, he’s quite happy to initiate it on his own.
  112. 112. River doesn’t mind much.
  113. 113. No actual demented purple hearts, though. I’m sort of sick of dating, so I’m saving the date until they’re both desperate for Aspiration points. Then they can have their demented purple hearts.
  114. 114. Mal hasn’t got her demented purple hearts either, and she won’t be getting them while the Streaker is hanging around. Mal is not a fan of nudity. Unlike Eddie, she’s not a naked hot-tubber.
  115. 115. The burglar, however, is someone Mal wants to see even less than the naked lady.
  116. 116. She took it pretty hard, even though all the burglar stole was the RenuYu Orb that she hadn’t actually used. I spent the rest of the night Buying Expensive Crap to get her Aspiration out of the red. With all the people she didn’t want to see, one person came by once or twice a day, every day.
  117. 117. Said Lonely Wanderer is Max Flexor, Mitch Indie’s roommate. I had Mal go out to greet him, and they made friends in no time.
  118. 118. I popped open Max and Mitch’s lot. Max is a Popularity Sim. I checked his Turnons and Turnoff, expecting to see the usual random crap, but his Turnons were Makeup and Hats. That is a combination that describes exactly ONE Sim in the entire neighborhood.
  119. 119. Clearly, this was Meant To Be.
  120. 120. I wasn’t even sure if Mal would have any interest in this stuff at all, because it seems to be about 50/50 with Fortune Sims, but she definitely takes after her father when it comes to wanting to find wuv, twoo wuv.
  121. 121. My little tomboy actually becomes the first one to get her demented purple hearts. There was, of course, only one thing to do.
  122. 122. Max moves in, gets a less doofy makeover, and then serves up a big heap of pancakes. Max is kind of awesome.
  123. 123. Mal thinks so too. They are very cute together. But he can totally become Max Landgraab, because somehow “Malcolm Flexor” sounds worse than “Malcolm Landgraab V.” Especially when it’s a girl.
  124. 124. Huh. Door’s open.
  125. 125. “Hi. You seem to be in my house.” “Sorry. I… used to know somebody who lived here. I wanted to see if maybe he’d stopped back in.” “You mean my brother Eddie? He’s long gone. And we’re not exactly on the best of terms right now.” “He seems to engender that reaction in a lot of people. I didn’t mean to bother you. I’ll go.”
  126. 126. “Wait! Are… Are you Meadow? Only I found a notebook with ‘Property of Meadow’ written on the inside front cover when I was cleaning behind the stove.” “That’s me. And you found it when you were cleaning behind the stove? Who cleans behind the stove?” “You mean everyone doesn’t?” “Well, I sure believe you’re Eddie’s sister now. Malcolm, right? Mal?” “Uh-huh. So I guess you knew him pretty well?”
  127. 127. “I thought I did. As it turns out, not so much.” “Tell me about it. Last time I saw him, I really let him have it.” “How so?” “Fist to the jaw.” “Nicely done.” “Wow. He really did you wrong, huh?” “You could say that. How’s your mother?”
  128. 128. “Dead.” “Still?” “There’s not really a cure for that.” “But Eddie…” “Was wrong. Listen, my brother’s a total jerk and he did something horrible to you. Why don’t you move in here, get out of the dorms, maybe get the chance to let him have a piece of your mind?” “Seriously?”
  129. 129. “Seriously.” “Any house rules?” “The brown-haired guy who’s coming home from class in an hour? That’s Max. He’s my boyfriend. Make a move on him and I’ll snatch you bald. Other than that? Leave your messes around so I can clean them up.” “Okay then.” “Welcome to the family.”
  130. 130. The last spare house is a sort of odd assortment of Sims. On the left is Niobe, the half-alien daughter of Cameroon, making her a very distant Prettacy cousin (Isaac/Calista Juniper/StephanJonny/JeannieWren/StyxCameroon). She’s also the half-sister of the current crop of Uglacy kids, via the PolliTech. She’s shy and nice, like her Dad. On the right is the SimSelf of PurpleBunny, who writes the Piratical Legacy. She’s here for Bell. Bell wants 50 Dream Dates, PB wants Bell, and for some reason, I thought it would be easier if they were both in college.
  131. 131. Also in the house is Scott, Niobe’s cousin. He’s a Pop Sim with nine Outgoing, and is also freakishly nice. Laughing at Scotty is Naked Victor, who doesn’t actually belong at college any more, but he stops by to steal newspapers frequently. Fortunately, he wears clothes when he does.
  132. 132. Scotty’s shirt has a little anime-elf thing on the back of it. I never noticed that before.
  133. 133. Connor is last, but certainly not least. He’s the son of Naked Victor and Bianca, and the grandson of Indy, so there should be no surprise that he views clothing as optional, particularly where hot tubs are concerned. He also inherited the Vetinari Nice Point. This seemed to be the best house to put him in. He’s a Pop Sim, so he has no inherent chemistry with Family Sim PB and Knowledge Sim Niobe, and he and Scotty both have female gender preferences, so their cumulative 19 Outgoing points shouldn’t be a problem between the two of them. Still, he’s more than capable of causing trouble.
  134. 134. Two happy Pop Sims. They spend a lot of time doing this.
  135. 135. Scotty certainly prefers talking on the phone to playing chess with Connor, at any rate. Connor cheats. Scotty thinks about perhaps becoming slightly cross with him.
  136. 136. And then there is dating. Lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of dating. Pretty much exclusively between PB and Bell.
  137. 137. They fall in love on the first date, and then start rolling all manner of purple-heart Wants, which makes me happy, because those Wants raise the date score quickly, which gets to Dream Date quickly, which means I can end the date sooner, which means I can start the next date sooner, which means I can fit more dates into one night.
  138. 138. Bell gets in his first Make Out. He approved.
  139. 139. And yup, demented purple hearts for PB and Bell to the tune of a crapload of Aspiration Points.
  140. 140. Bell leaves a statue. If we had a Fortune Sim here, they’d be thrilled about all the Free Expensive Crap.
  141. 141. Left to his own devices due to the need to micromanage PB’s dates with Bell, Scotty uses his free time to teach Sir-Bricks-A-Lot how to do tricks. Sadly, this was more interesting than doing more dates.
  142. 142. PB’s getting sick of the dates too, I think, based on the fact that she’s turning to crippling dislocations to make them stop.
  143. 143. It doesn’t help that Bell’s a Pleasure Sim, so he’s likely to roll Wants to do random crap halfway through the date, leaving poor PB to pull all the weight, and it’s not even her LTW!
  144. 144. Bell leaves a big stereo.
  145. 145. Finally, something that has nothing to do with dating! No surprise that Connor finds the Cow Mascot Trauma hilarious.
  146. 146. But it’s PB who gets to do the honors. It was cathartic for both of us.
  147. 147. Plus, PB has a pretty awesome “muahahahahaha” face.
  148. 148. “Those were my feet.” “Sorry.” “Just because I only walk on the bottoms doesn’t mean you get to walk on the tops!” “Sorry!” Too much dating. Tempers starting to flare.
  149. 149. Bell leaves a pinball machine. He is starting to leave gifts that are things he would rather be doing instead of dating.
  150. 150. “Hey, that guy’s naked!” “Awesome! Can I be naked?” “NO, Connor.”
  151. 151. Anyone know why I couldn’t Smite the coach when I finally managed to chase him off? He was definitely outside. Do they have to be playable? I could swear I have Smitten walkbys before. But maybe I made them playable because I wanted to Smite them. I don’t remember. Anyway, the coach has bugged Whitney, Tess, Niobe, and now PB. He’s overdue for a ZOTZ.
  152. 152. “Hey, can we maybe jump on the bed instead?” “No. Need a Dream Date. Stop your grinnin’ and drop your linen.” “Aaawwwwww.”
  153. 153. “Hi, guys! I have loads of Outgoing points and this doesn’t bother me in the least!” “Go away, Scott.” “Sure!”
  154. 154. Bell brings another statue. Hooray. *sells*
  155. 155. This was just from one afternoon/evening. And there would have been one more, except that the date got ended by PB’s “Go To Class” queuestomp, even though she didn’t need to actually go to class. Amusingly, Connor keeps getting the mail autonomously, and he’s got a handful of love letters in his Inventory, despite not having been on any dates in college.
  156. 156. It never ends. Ever.
  157. 157. Bell! Where are you going? “Pinball machine.” No, dammit! You are on a date! There is no room for fun on a date! Now you get in that car and you make honking sounds with your girlfriend! “But I don’t wanna!” This is not a negotiation! DATES R SRS BZNZ.
  158. 158. And now for something completely different! A FLAMING DANCE SPHERE!
  159. 159. Aaaaand back to dating. The 50 Dream Dates LTW really sucks all the joy out of the proceedings, doesn’t it? While this is going on, I hear the tell-tale sounds of someone else falling in love. Three guesses who. First two don’t count.
  160. 160. Despite crap chemistry with Niobe, Connor made a move. Don’t know what it was, don’t really care. Out comes the Relations Adjuster portion of InSim to nuke the Crush/Love hearts between the two of them.
  161. 161. “What are you doing?” “Making you less attractive to me! See, the piercings count as glasses, so I can’t find those appealing anymore, and apparently I need to be repulsed by black hair.” “Yay? Um, you’re still hot, though.” Clearly, I need to redirect Connor’s attention somewhere safer.
  162. 162. I had Connor call up StacieLee, who got dibs on him pretty early on. StacieLee writes Whedonberry, which is fabulous and amazing.
  163. 163. Connor’s pretty quick to make friends, as long as nobody mentions birdies and goldfish. The promise of a SimSelf at the end of it only hastens the process.
  164. 164. Stacie gets a back-rub from a glitchy-faced Connor. I couldn’t take any more dates between PB and Bell, so she’s getting a two-day respite from the dating. Connor gets a benefit from PB’s temporary datelessness, because he gets one with Stacie.
  165. 165. I think Stacie approves. Connor’s face didn’t un-glitch during the date, and I was afraid to Force Error on him while the Date Timer was running because I didn’t want to mess up the date or the date clock at all, so he ended up looking fairly baffled for about 75% of it.
  166. 166. “I guess I’m in love or something?” “That would be a ‘yes.’ Can we head for the car now?” “Maybe?”
  167. 167. Yes, Stacie. Connor works out.
  168. 168. Connor and Stacie get their first mutual demented purple heart. Stacie was a friend of Archie’s. It’s OK. I won’t tell.
  169. 169. So, no big cliffhanger to end the chapter, no OMG! moment… Didn’t quite know what to do instead. So have some pictures of Connor drinking Pureed Boot in his underpants.
  170. 170. Shocking, I know.
  171. 171. That’s all, folks! The rest of college next time! I will probably have to find Whitney and Tess boyfriends at some point, so that should be interesting.