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Bully/Victim: A Shifting Paradigm
- 1. Bully/Victim: A Shifting Paradigm Kate Grant, MEd Kristin Ogard, LPC Jonathan Weedman, LPC
Editor's Notes
- Adults need to teach kids the skills and it is not assumed that kids come “fully formed”
- The differences between this and old definitions (based on crime and punishment and psychopathology). We use this term for sake of simplicity but it is not a good label.
- We are using the terms Victim/Bully just for clarification but this not about labeling and bullying is a hot topic
- Be clear that this is not a tactic to blame the victim Revenge is why victims commit the worst offenses We can not change mother nature but we can work WITH it
- From Izzy Kalman
- You can’t monitor all behavior of your children at home either (give examples) Talk about examples of programs that do not work…(zero tolerance, punishment alone)
- Some kids are more resilient than others although the majority are hard wired for this, but it can be taught Not just over coming difficult experiences but learning from them and how to be stronger
- Bullies are often times being bullied by someone else or it takes investigation to figure out why they are wanting to dominate Everyone: parent to parent, kid to kid, teacher to teacher, parent to teacher, kid to teacher, kid to parent Non defensive reactions
- Non defensive reactions (defusing the situation, “ya its true These skills will not work for every kid every time (because of psychological conditions, conditioning home life) Adults can teach kids that they should never let go of any aggression or disrespect which can cause this to fail No Tattling
- Doesn’t mean we don’t want to hear from you if you have concerns instead it helps us teach the skills