+Gender Roles“The term gender roles is commonly used torefer to feminine and masculine socialexpectations in a family based on a person’ssex” (p 154)Moms areexpected to befeminize and totake of the houseand the children.Dads areexpected tofinanciallysupport theirfamily and beleaders
+“Communication that occurs in family settingsinfluences a person’s understandings ofgender and family” (p 153)When we thinkof a family, wethink of a momwho is afemale, a dadwho is a male,and children.Grandmother’sare femalesandgrandfathersare males.Girls play withdolls and boysplay withtrucks.“Families andgender are sointertwined that itis impossible tounderstand onewithout referenceto the other”
+Gender RoleSocializationThe divisions of labor that parents take part in at home often are passed downto their children.When a mother works in the kitchen while a father does theyard work, children begin to form gender socialization.“Family communication practices construct gender” (p 154)
+Gendered Social Scripts“Rules that people carry around in theirheads about what they ought to be likeas men or women and what othersought to be like as men or women” (p154)
+Nuclear Family“Composed of two parents (one male and onefemale) and biological children, with the maleas the primary wage earner and the female asthe primary homemaker” (p 155)
+Interlocking Institutions “If gender/sex appear in theworkplace, they likely willappear in families and viceversa” (p 157) “Part of the nuclear familymyth is that it is self-sufficient,but in reality extended family,work, religion, schools, socialservices, media, and lawinfluence it” (p 157)
+Interlocking Institutions Politics uses the slogan “familyvalues”, which refers to anuclear family. It’s assumed tobe a heterosexual, married,Christian couple with children. There is a ‘leisure gap’ in thehome, where men and womenboth work the ‘first shift’ atwork, but then women comehome and work the ‘secondshift’ by caring for their family. A ‘nuclear family’ suggests thatthere is only one type offamily, excluding people whoare homosexual, widowed, orwithout children. Work produces both thehousehold goods and servicesand it also produces gender.Women spend much moretime doing housework thanmen do.(p 158-159)
+Social Learning and Modeling“Through often unconscious sociallearning, children observe andinternalize particular types ofbehaviors” (p160)Parent-ChildCommunication
+Gender/Sex Interaction:Parents’ Influence“Children learn gender/sex identities not only by watching theirparents but also by interacting with them” (p 161).Both mothers and fathers are likely to reward their children for sexrelated behavior, such as daughters being rewarded for usingmanners and sons being rewarded for aggression.
+Gender/Sex Interaction: Children’s InfluenceChildren start to recognize their role of gender between the ages of 2 and3.With this, they begin to choose gender related toys and hobbies.Studies show that children interact with their parents differently, showingthat sons are more withdrawn from conversations with their mothers andare more likely to interrupt their mothers than daughters are.
+Adult Friends and Lovers Heteronormativity:“thecultural assumption thateveryone is heterosexualand wants to bemarried” (p 164) Starting at a young age,children are encouraged toengage with the oppositesex Children are exposed tofairytales with princecharming and happy everafters.
+Dating Relationships Women spend a lot of timemaking themselves lookattractive for men.“Their choiceto focus on their attractiveness tomen is one indication that theyvalue heterosexual romanceabove everything else, includingfriendships, career, and evenfamily” (p 166) Studies show that “women believedthey could not gain prestige fromacademic successes, organizedextracurricular activities,participation in political causes, orrelationships with other women.Theonly way these women were able toraise their self-esteem and socialprestige was through romanticrelationships with men” (p 166)
+Marital Communication“Family therapists and marriagecounselors call for sharedpartnership, equitable relationalpower, and ongoing metatalk aboutone’s relationship”“Substantial research shows thatwives tend to approach husbands todemand that some need be met, andthe husbands withdraw, refusing toengage” (p 168)
+Domestic Violence“The family [is] one of the United States’ mostviolent social institutions and women andchildren the most common victims”“Family issupposed toprovide safehaven formembers”
+Domestic Violence Every day in the United States, fourchildren die as a result of child abuseand neglect that occurs in a family. Every day in the United States, fourwomen are murdered by theirhusbands or boyfriends. Women are ten times more likely thanmen to be victims of domestic violence. Yearly in the United States, more than 4million children are abused orneglected by family members; 27% ofwomen and 16% of men report havingbeen victimized as children One in four women reports havingbeen raped or physically assaulted byan intimate partner.This statistic is trueboth for the United States and globally.(p 169)
+“Safe and healthyfamilies requireeffort on the partof the individualsin them and thesociety inwhich theyare situated”(p 171)
+EmancipatoryFamilies• The stereotype has been created that men are “emotionally distant” and“wage earning” fathers. In order to create more flexible gender roles,men have to do the opposite.• “We spend more time as parents trying to create clear gender roleswhich are actually destructive than trying to create more flexible genderroles that are libratory and responsive to each person’s individuality andlived experience”• “Reality is that men are primary caregivers”• “Fathers can do housework and nurture children, even when they are notsingle parents”• “Mothers must let go of the desire to privilege their relationships withtheir children over the fathers’”. Unlike mothers, society gives men “theoption to be involved with parenting”. Men “realized they needed to giveup the privilege of noninvolvement.The changes toward shared parentingworked because these couples were resourceful and found the changesrewarding.They recognized they were capable of re-envisioning familyand parenting in a way that was healthy and equitable”.(p 172-173)