3. “A MOCHA COFFEE” IS WHAT I
WANTED TO SAY
• BUT I SAID “DAME UN CAFÉ DE MOCO”.
•THIS SENTENCE CAUSED A FEW GIGGLES. WHY?
•THE WORD, “MOCO” MEANS “SNOT” OR
“MUCOUS”!
4. ERROR #2:“SU PERRO JUELLE RICO”
THE WORD “PERRO” MEANS
DOG AND I WANTED TO SAY,
“YOUR DOG SMELLS GOOD.”
(THE DOG HAD JUST COME
FROM THE GROOMERS.)
5. BUT IT SOUNDED LIKE I SAID “PEDO”
SEE, I AM NOT VERY GOOD AT ROLLING MY R’S..
SO IT CAME OUT SOUNDING LIKE “SU PEDO JUELLE RICO,”
WHICH CAUSED EVERYONE TO LAUGH.
WHY? BECAUSE PEDO MEANS “FART”.
YEP, I HAD ACTUALLY SAID: “YOUR FART SMELLS GOOD!”
6. ERROR #3: “TIENE SOPA?”
I WAS IN THE BATHROOM AND I WANTED TO WASH MY
HANDS, BUT WE WERE OUT OF SOAP. SO I ASKED MY
SPANISH-SPEAKING MOTHER-IN-LAW
“DO YOU HAVE SOAP?”
7. IT TOOK HER FOREVER TO RETURN!
•WHEN SHE FINALLY CAME BACK, SHE BROUGHT
ME A MICRO-WAVED BOWL OF SOUP.
•WHY? (GULP) BECAUSE “SOPA” MEANS “SOUP.”
•SOAP TO WASH YOUR HANDS = “JABON”
8. ERROR #4: ESTOY MUY EXITADA!
I SAID“YO ESTOY MUY
EXITADA SER AQUI.” IN
ENGLISH: “I’M REALLY
EXCITED TO BE HERE!”
9. UNFORTUNATELY! I SHOULD HAVE SAID
“YO ESTOY MUY EMOCIONADO SER AQUI”
WHY? BECAUSE “ESTOY MUY EXITADA”
TRANSLATES TO ... READY?
“I’M VERY HORNY BEING HERE!”
DEFINITELY NOT GOOD.
10. ERROR #5 “VAMOS A LA CASA”
•I WANTED TO SHOW AN
ATTRACTIVE HEAVY-SET
WOMAN A HOUSE, SO I SAID
TO HER, “VAMOS A LA CASA”
WHICH MEANS, “LET’S GO TO
THE HOUSE,”RIGHT?
11. EXCEPT THAT I SAID CAMA NOT CASA
•“VAMOS A LA CAMA” MEANS “LET’S GO TO BED”.
•AND I SAID IT RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY WIFE TOO!
•THE WOMAN LAUGHED IT OFF, WITH , “SI, SI,
VAMOS A LA CAMA.”
•I DON’T THINK I’VE EVER LIVED THAT ONE DOWN!
12. ERROR #6: THE WORD “LA BALLENA”
•THE WORD “LA BALLENA” IN
SPANISH MEANS “WHALE”.
SO “LA BALLENA GRANDOTE”
= HUGE WHALE.
13. TWO L’S IN A WORD = A JAY SOUND
•IN PLACES LIKE ARGENTINA AND SPAIN, THE
DOUBLE L SOUNDS MORE LIKE A “JAY” SOUND.
•SOMETIMES I DO THIS THINKING I SOUND COOL
•SO I SAID “LA BAJAYNA GRANDOTE”. SAY IT NOW!
•WHEN I SAID IT, SOMEONE BURST OUT LAUGHING!
THEY THOUGHT I SAID, “THE ENORMOUS VAGINA.”
14. ERROR #7 THE WORD “GANGAS”
•THE NEIGHBORHOOD
LOOKED SHADY SO I
SAID “HAY GANGAS
AQUI?” ARE THERE
GANGS AROUND
HERE?
15. GANGAS ACTUALLY MEANS COUPONS
•OR “BARGAINS”
•NOT REALLY APPROPRIATE WHEN YOU’RE IN
A BAD NEIGHBORHOOD UNLESS MAYBE
YOU’RE SEARCHING FOR A DISCOUNT ON
SOME DRUGS OR GUNS?!
•THE WORD “BANDA” MEANS “GANG” AND
“GANGAS” MEANS COUPONS.
16. CHICKEN AND KITCHEN
• ACTUALLY THIS ONE IS A SWITCH-UP FOR MY
SPANISH SPEAKING FRIENDS. THEY GET CONFUSED
WITH THESE TWO WORDS. FOR EXAMPLE, MY FRIEND
SAID TO ME IN ENGLISH, “HEY, WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE
MY BIG CHICKEN?” I SAID “SURE.”
17. WHERE’S THE DAMN CHICKEN?
• AND HE BROUGHT ME TO HIS
BIG, MODERN KITCHEN.
• “WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK?”
HE ASKED.
• I SAID, “IT’S NICE BUT..
18. THAT’S IT FOR NOW
•HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT!
•SHARE THE GIANT VAGINAS AND CHICKENS WITH
YOUR FRIENDS AND HAVE A FANTASTIC DAY!
•FOR MORE FUN STORIES, CHECK OUT
•WWW.SELLINGOUTSIDETHESQUARE.COM