Part 4 of the Wants and Needs eCourse from Submissive Guide
What to do when wants and needs aren't met.
Make sure you download the Workbook that goes with this eCourse
Good Stuff Happens in 1:1 Meetings: Why you need them and how to do them well
Submissive Guide: Wants and Needs - Part 4
1. Wants & Needs Series
Original Articles by lunaKM
Powerpoint by Kallista
2. Key Terms/Abbreviations
• Sub(abv.) submissive (She’s a good sub.)
• Dom/Domme(abv.) Dominant/Dominatrix (She is a good
Domme)
• D/s. (abv.) Dominant/submissive
• Need – Something you must have
• Want – Something you would like to have
• Maslow’s Hierarchy – A chart designed to explain
necessity of healthy human development
3. Materials
• For this lecture, it is recommended you have the following at
hand:
• A pen/pencil and paper OR
• The Submissive Guide Wants & Needs workbook.
4. Purpose
• Understanding what you need and want in a
relationship can help you understand who you
are as a sub.
• Being able to differentiate between your needs
and wants can help you express your
expectations and desires to your current or
potential Dom.
5. Part 4: When Wants & Needs
Aren’t Met
Series Article “What Should You Do When Wants or Needs
Aren’t Met?”
Reflection
6. When a Compromise Can’t
Be Reached
• Sometimes, no matter how much or how careful things are
discussed, people in a relationship cannot reach a consensus
about the fulfillment of their needs or wants.
• Your wants and needs are part of your D/s relationship. Make
sure they are communicated and are being met.
7. Bringing it Back on Track
• Have a heart-to-heart.
• Use non-aggressive phrasing. Instead of “You do this” use phrases
like, “I feel,” “I need,” “I believe.”
• Change it up
• Suggest adding aspects to your relationship that help fulfill your
needs or wants
• Write a letter
• Focus on your feelings and thoughts
8. If That Doesn’t Work
• Unfortunately, there are times when a person is not able or
willing to meet your needs or wants.
• If discussion cannot help improve your sense of happiness and
fulfillment, the person you’re with is not the right person for
you.
• This decision should not be taken lightly, but the state of your
happiness is important to your overall wellbeing and should
not be put in jeopardy.
9. Reflect
• Take a look at the exercises you did for this lecture, and
consider what you have learned from doing them.
• Now that you have this information, what should you do with
it?
10. Credits
Thank you!
Subscribe to the site for more on BDSM, D/s and submission at
SubmissiveGuide.com
Further conversation on this topic and many others in the
Submissive Guide community at:
http://fetlife.submissiveguide.com
Also, look for subguide on Twitter, Tumblr, Google+ and YouTube