The video for this presentation is available on our Youtube channel: https://youtube.com/allceuseducation A continuing education course for this presentation can be found at https://www.allceus.com/member/cart/index/index?c= Unlimited Counseling CEUs for $59 https://www.allceus.com/ Specialty Certificate tracks starting at $89 https://www.allceus.com/certificate-tracks/ Live Webinars $5/hour https://www.allceus.com/live-interactive-webinars/ Instagram: AllCEUs Pinterest: drsnipes Sex and Pornography can become addictive. Learn the warning signs and some tools to start developing alternate ways to cope with stress and feel "normal"

1. Instructor: Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes
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2.  Define Sex Addiction
 Identifying the Negative Messages
 Understanding Addictive Triggers (Original and
conditioned)
 Mindfulness and Purposeful Action (Silencing the
inner critic)
 Getting to Know Yourself
 Regaining Control: Essential DBT
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3.  Any person, substance or activity
 Used to escape from negative feelings (Emotional
and Physical)
 Continues to be used despite negative consequences
◦ Emotional
◦ Mental (self esteem/thought processes)
◦ Physical (health and neurochemical balance)
◦ Social Relationships
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4.  Obsessions are repetitive thoughts
 Compulsions are activities done in order to
escape negative feeling states
 It is the only way the person currently has to stop
or escape the negative feeling state
 All addictions are compulsions, but all
compulsions are not addictions
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5.  Dopamine rush
◦ Brain shuts off receptors to prevent overload
◦ Normal amounts of dopamine don’t produce
the same feeling
 Chasing the High/Tolerance
◦ Requires artificially increasing dopamine
through increased amount/intensity
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6.  Addictive behaviors have:
◦ Been the most reliable tool to help you escape
◦ Served a survival function
◦ Become the one thing that won’t let you down or
abandon you
 Addictive behaviors and negative messages
can be altered
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7.  Children are born with a blank slate
 As they grow, the zone of proximal
development and the more knowledgeable
other influence what the child attends
to/learns
 Early learning is egocentric and dichotomous
 Inconsistent or negative messages can be
internalized by the child
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8.  During each stage of development, the child must
accomplish certain tasks to avoid developing a
negative self-image (Hecklers in the amphitheater)
 If the person develops a negative self-image, and
fails to develop healthy coping skills, then
addictive behaviors may be used to escape
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9.  Negative messages drive feelings of despair,
anxiety and insecurity
 When you want to use
◦ Listen to what your addicted voice is saying to you
◦ Identify other voices or messages you hear
◦ Dialogue with the voices to learn more about where
they came from (and how to shut them up)
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10.  Cognitive Behavioral Theory
◦ Thoughts, feelings and actions are all related
◦ Everything you do is the result of a prior learning
experience
Action/Event  Beliefs/Thoughts  Consequence/Reaction
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11.  Mindfulness
◦ Focus on the present moment not the past or the
shoulds or coulds
◦ You are not your thoughts
◦ You are not the same person you were 10 years
ago, or… yesterday
◦ Mindfulness will help you become aware of your
triggers
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12. Action  Beliefs  Consequences
Habits  Thoughts  Feelings
Practice mindfulness/awareness
1. Mindfulness log
2. Cravings log
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13.  Emotion
 Smell
 Taste
 Touch
 Sound
 Time of day
 Anniversary/ Date
 Habit
 Sights
 Places
 People
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14.  Distract
 Ride the wave
 Choose an alternative (less harmful) behavior
 Countercondition the trigger
 Dialogue with yourself
 Write a goodbye letter to the voice
 Complete the faulty beliefs activity (Next slide)
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15.  It is harder to deal with life on life’s terms
when you are:
◦ Sick
◦ In pain
◦ Exhausted
◦ Malnourished
◦ Bored
◦ Isolated
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16.  For each trigger, identify how you can deal
with it or avoid it
 Make a plan for taking better care of yourself
 Create an emergency plan for dealing with
relapse
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17. Activities
to Help People Move Through
the Recovery Process
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18.  Alone and Still
◦ You may try to stay busy when you are not using to
give yourself something to focus on besides the
voices, the habit or the pervasive discomfort.
◦ What happens when you are still?
◦ What positive activities can you do to stay busy
while learning to silence the voices?
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19.  What is the evidence for my thought?
 Is there evidence contrary to my thought?
 Do I have all the evidence?
 Is this based on feelings or facts?
 What would a friend think about this?
 If I look at the situation positively, how is it
different?
 Will this matter a year from now?
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20.  Market yourself– Write a 1 page sales pitch
about yourself
 Refining your ideal image:
◦ Spend 20 minutes writing a list of all of the
qualities of your ideal self.
◦ Mark off any qualities that you do not care about
◦ Make a plan to achieve the ones you do
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21.  Recovery involves saying goodbye to your
hecklers
◦ Your addict
◦ Other negative people who have been living rent
free in your head
 Loss & Grief
◦ Denial Anger | Bargaining | Depression |
Acceptance
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22.  Part of intimacy is vulnerability, both physical
and emotional
 What has happened in the past when you have
been vulnerable?
 What did you internalize from that experience?
 Is that internalized message
◦ Valid
◦ Overgeneralized
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23. 
Vulnerability means trust and letting go of some
control

Think of 3 situations/ways in which you would
like to be vulnerable
 Remember that not everyone is trustworthy
• Situation (Past)
• Negative Outcome
• Blame Assessment
• Situation (Future)
• Positive Outcome
• Action Plan
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24.  Part 1: Be the Parent
◦ Spend 30 minutes identifying the 10 most
important messages for your child to receive and
WHY.
◦ Review those messages. Which ones did you fail to
receive? How can you internalize those messages
now?
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25.  Ongoing guilt, shame, self-blame and loathing is
the result of ineffective past learning experiences
 Addiction is used to escape from these feelings
 You have 3 options
◦ Sabotage yourself/relapse
◦ Deal with the issue
◦ Choose to not invest anymore energy in it
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26.  The skills and tools you have developed have
allowed you to survive until now.
 Your experiences have shaped who you are,
but do not have to negatively impact your
future
 The 35 year old man has many more tools,
experiences and supports than the 5 year old
child
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27.  Give yourself permission to grieve. It sucked and
it isn’t fair.
 Continuing to keep your demons locked up
drains precious energy.
◦ What would happen if you accepted the past?
◦ What does it mean if you quit holding on to it?
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28.  Sex addiction is real
 Like other addictions it was the last ditch
effort to survive.
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