1. 1. Vulnerability and Fear
o Vulnerability, whether it manifests itself as fear, shyness, mistrust or restraint, is
probably the biggest emotional barrier that disrupts clear communication. Many
people are told that their opinion doesn't matter or that they must bite their tongue
early in life, and that sense of vulnerability and fear of rejection carries over into
adult relationships. You may not effectively say what you want to say because
you're afraid that the person at the other end of the conversation will either
dismiss your opinion or outright reject you. This not only hinders many people
from expressing very valuable opinions, but can also prevent them from forming
solid relationships in general.
Lack of Empathy
o If a person has issues feeling empathetic toward others, he will have trouble both
communicating himself and making others feel comfortable talking to him. If you
cannot put yourself in the shoes of the person you're trying to talk to, you will find
it much more difficult to get your point across. Try to imagine how the person
will react and be sensitive to those reactions. If you can overcome your own
emotional barrier (a lack of empathy) it will help the listener to overcome a sense
of vulnerability or fear of rejection that he might be experiencing.
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Knowing Your Emotions
o When trying to get a point across, some people are not entirely aware of the
emotional attachment that they have to their point. For example, if you are trying
to communicate a political point that you are particularly passionate about, you
may not even know that you are projecting feelings of anger that are negatively
affecting the person listening to you. Be in touch with your emotional attachment
to your subject matter and try to channel that emotion effectively rather than
losing control and becoming erratic.
Listening Barriers
o Listening is just as key in communication as speaking is. To listen correctly and
to help the speaker overcome his own emotional barriers, you will have to work
past some emotional barriers connected with listening. This means overcoming
the feeling of competing for air time---do not simply wait for your turn to speak
so that you satisfy the emotional need to be heard. Do not sit there and act like
you know the answer to the person's problem or rush to be helpful without really
listening to what the person has to say. Listen carefully and take the person's
words into account before making your own point.