Who is Glory Johnson? While Detective Denver digs seeks out causes for bizarre superstitions and fantastical hallucinations, a "haunted manor" awaits him on the other end of Yesteryear Park. What will the skeptical Denver do, when the supernatural stares him straight in the face?

1. WHO KILLED ALASKA?
#7 DETECTIVE FILES: HAUNTED
written by
Cameron Cooper LeBrun

2. BOBBY [narrator]
I took a knife to my skin and I severed it from the flesh. But let me tell you why. In my family,
nightmares are passed down by blood. My mother had the same nightmare, and so did her
siblings. So did her mother. Every night, we dream that a pale man is waking us from a
nightmare. He tells us that when we were awake, that was the dream, and when we’re dreaming,
that’s when we’re awake. Then, in this nightmare, the pale man shows us what’s real. He peels
back the sheet on reality, and he shows us its real face. I don’t like the nightmares, so I’ve
stopped sleeping. I’m tired of waking up every day and pretending it’s okay that everything is the
same. I’m trapped in my own body. In this cocoon of flesh. If you know what I mean, you’ve
probably had the temptation to stop, and look into the mirror, and admit that you’re trapped.
Before I knew it, I was severing my skin from the flesh, and peeling it back. I turned to him. The
snow fell harder. I showed him what my face really looked like, beneath the mask of my outer
membrane. The snow fell harder. My face thumped in a low, sticky sound, like peeling an
orange. I showed him in revenge. But maybe it was a favor after all. Because I saw in his eyes
that beneath all the horror, and the disgust, was a fascination. The void, the horror, and the pain
are an insatiable addiction. When you taste it, you cannot look away, and you’ll roam hungry for
the rest of your life, until you learn to peel the skin from your face and let the flesh breathe. So...
Fading into Denver’s office.
2

3. DENVER’S PRIVATE DETECTIVE AGENCY.
BOBBY
What’d you think, Finn? Maybe you’ve guessed, but I wrote this short story specifically for
Halloween. Even though it’s gonna be a little out of season now. I think my DeviantArt followers
will really give it some thumbs up!
DENVER
Wow. Bobby. This is the short story you wanted to show me?
BOBBY
Ah. You didn’t like it.
DENVER
Got gruesome by the end there. Gotta say. Don’t take it personally. Maybe not all of your story
was appropriate for the workplace. We can save it for after work next time.
BOBBY
People talk about dark things all the time here, don’t they? Hi, Detective Reuben!
DETECTIVE REUBEN
Don’t talk to me. I’m depressed about my dead spouse.
DENVER
I guess I avoid the pessimistic stuff.
BOBBY
Aw come on! Everybody loves the horror and the spooky stuff at least sometimes!
DENVER
D’you know the saying “violence for the sake of violence?”
3

4. BOBBY
But it’s gritty! It’s real!
DENVER
Iiiiiiii don’t think there’s anything real about that, Bobby, I’m sorry. It’s important to look on the
bright side. Don’t take my word for it, but those thoughts are gonna get distracting from things
that are real. In my opinion, the life that you live every day is real. The place you’ve lived, the
people you know, nice conversations. That’s real.
BOBBY
I hope you’ll understand one day.
4

5. DENVER [narrator]
Two years ago, Alaska Curtis was murdered in the woods of Stump Town, 20 minutes north of
Roslyn Estates. This is Long Island— the land of manicured lawns and alcoholic iced tea. To
find Alaska’s killer, I’m investigating the grown up children of some of the wealthiest families in
the United States.
Our six suspects are Jo Magaro, Emma Wooten, Logan Goldberg, Bobby Yorke, Boo
Curtis, and the disappeared Glory Johnson. And then there’s me— my name is Detective Finn
Denver. I’m a private investigator looking for the killer.
THEME SONG STARTS
DENVER [narrator]
Welcome to Who Killed Alaska: Detective Files, an original series by The Ghost Factory. This is
Episode 7: “Haunted.” Listeners be warned that this series may be inappropriate for younger
audiences, and content throughout may be alarming or upsetting. Welcome to the Detective Files.
Welcome to the truth.
THEME SONG ENDS
5

6. DENVER’S APARTMENT.
DENVER
Hello. Today is Friday, October 15th, and this time, I have somebody else with me. Here I have
with me, Bobby Yorke.
Denver claps.
BOBBY
Yes! It is me! I am told sometimes that my name is Bobby Yorke!
DENVER
Hello, Bobby. How are you doing today?
BOBBY
I’m doin alright! Yeah, I’m doing just fine.
DENVER
So what happened was, you and me bumped into each other, so we grabbed some coffee. And
then I had the genius idea that you could help me start off the episode. So Bobby, welcome to my
kitchen!
Denver claps.
BOBBY
I am very glad to have a warm coffee, ‘cause my hands were cold!
6

7. DENVER
How about you give us the update on that split-hand thing?
BOBBY
So regarding the split hand thing, uh— so I gave you the official ok to look at my medical
information. And that said that my hand was missing when I went to the hospital, but I didn’t
have any injuries that indicated that I perpetrated a stabbing. And if I may say so, I am not in the
clear for that, and you should be thorough, but that does mean that it was probably not me that
hurt Alaska.
DENVER
Great! Perfect! That sums it up! And I’ll add on that. Jeremy gave us evidence that he was shot,
but he didn’t have any hand injuries. Since we’re looking for hand injuries, that leaves us Boo
and Glory. We know Boo went to the hospital, but we don’t know what he went to the hospital
for. Maybe he got a cut on his hand from stabbing Alaska, and maybe he’s hiding that.
BOBBY
Sure. Is there any other new news on the case? I think you mentioned something else.
DENVER
Yuppers, Bobby.
BOBBY
Yuppers?
DENVER
I’ve been getting mysterious voicemails from some unknown fellow. Safe to say, that’s gotta be
Alaska’s killer. They’ve been threatening me using a robotic voice.
7

8. DENVER [narrator]
In case you don’t remember that, let me remind you—
TEXT-TO-SPEECH [clip - WKA3]
Stop investigating Alaska’s death.
TEXT-TO-SPEECH [clip - WKA5]
I’m aware that you’re still looking for Alaska’s killer.
TEXT-TO-SPEECH [clip - WKA3]
I know where you live. I know where they live. I know where you live. I know where they live—
BOBBY
Oh, yeah! Just imagining that— (exploding sound)
DENVER
And guess what, Bobby?
BOBBY
What?
DENVER
New voicemail. It’s like clockwork.
BOBBY
No way!
DENVER
Way, Bobby. Way. Ready?
BOBBY
Ready.
8

9. Denver clicks a button.
LANDLINE’S ROBOTIC VOICE
You have one old message. To hear this message, press—
Denver clicks a button. It beeps.
TEXT-TO-SPEECH [voicemail]
Pain begets joy. Fear begets void. Hello, Detective. I am disappointed. You are too slow to keep
up. None of us did it. None of us killed Alaska Curtis. It was Harvey Paris, the man who died in
Stump Town 80 years ago. Harvey Paris rose from his grave in the greenhouse and he killed
Alaska. How sad that you can’t see the truth. You’ve missed how Glory Johnson abandoned us
and left, in a way that was so unnatural. You’ve analyzed every clue incorrectly. None of us
killed Alaska. Accept it, or give up now.
Beep.
DENVER
I'm thinking the actual killer mighta left accidental clues here. The talk about Glory is verrrry
interesting if there’s any truth in it at all. They said “abandoned us and left”— they said both.
They didn’t stop at “abandoned us,” they said “abandoned and left.” What do you think, Bobby?
Do you think Glory’s alive? Bobby? BOBBY?
9

10. Bobby breathes quickly.
BOBBY
I almost blacked out.
DENVER
What do you need?
BOBBY
Nuhhh…
DENVER
Can I get you something?
BOBBY
My head. It’s fuzzy. I can’t think!
DENVER
Has this happened before?
BOBBY
IT’S A MEMORY! IT IS EATING ME ALIVE! IT’LL KILL ME IF I REMEMBER!
DENVER
I’ll get you tea. You’re in my kitchen, you’re safe here. This is the safest place there is.
BOBBY
It’ll kill me! Like a bacteria in my brain! Like little bubbles of poison!
10

11. DENVER
Hey, look at that leaf falling. Look at the window. Check out those leaves! Isn’t it funny how
quick the seasons changed? Let me go get you that tea.
Denver puts on some tea.
BOBBY
GLORY!
DENVER
Ah!
BOBBY
It was so dark that night, like the stars turned away. The sky couldn’t bare watching us. I SAW
GLORY! IN THE WOODS! SHE WAS A MONSTER! SHE WASN’T HUMAN! SHE WAS!
SHE WAS! UNEARTHLY!
DENVER
Bobby. You’re okay, just look at the window.
BOBBY
Where’s my necklace?
DENVER
You put it down over there.
BOBBY
I need to be alone.
11

12. DENVER
There’s the bathroom.
SOON.
DENVER
They have these superstitions that keep coming up. Bobby has a lot, and Boo also has a lot, but
honestly all of them are pretty superstitious. They’re seeing and believing really unbelievable
things. First of all, there’s Boo and his psychic.
BOO [clip - WKA2]
My psychic’s the coolest.
SHADOWMOON [clip - WKA2]
My name is Riley Shadowmoon and I am a psychic!
DENVER
Second, there was the creature from the woods.
BOO [clip - WKA4]
Guys, there should be four of us.
BOO [clip - WKA4]
Why are we counting five people?
BOBBY [clip - WKA4]
No no no no no no no…
DENVER
And now there’s a mirror maze—
12

13. LOGAN [clip - WKA6]
This was an empty lot two days ago.
BOO [clip - WKA6]
What’s that supposed to mean? Like we’re in a place that shouldn’t exist?
DENVER
And then! And then the idea of a “not human” person keeps coming up! It feels like being “not
human” is this important thing to them. It’s freaking fascinating because it’s so specific to be
thinking that you or specific people aren’t human.
BOBBY [clip - WKA3]
There’re times where I just feel like I’m from a different world. Like I could be an alien.
BOO [clip - WKA6]
Emma. Don’t run. It was you Jo punched. You were the monster.
BOBBY [clip - WKA3]
Aliens are all around us. And I think you just have to know you’re an alien.
BOBBY [clip]
I SAW GLORY! IN THE WOODS! SHE WAS A MONSTER! SHE WASN’T HUMAN!
BOO [clip - WKA6]
Because you’re not a person. You’re a stew of bad thoughts.
DENVER
Okay, uhhhhh. Change of plans? I’m scrapping things. I’m doing a new question for this episode
— what makes someone superstitious? Why and how are they seeing ghosts and monsters?
Bobby? You good?
13

14. BOBBY
Just needed some Bobby time! Gave the brain an old wash!
DENVER
Good. Good.
DENVER [narrator]
At the start of every day, I remind myself that today could be difficult, today could be trying, and
I’m prepared to be scared and overwhelmed.
DENVER
Shoe 1, shoe 2, now you put the bunny in a loop.
DENVER [narrator]
Everything is always worth a try, and a try is worth your confidence!
14

15. DENVER [narrator]
It’s one of those crisp fall days. Sweater weather is coming in. If only I had a fireplace to curl up
to, while reading one of those romantic spy novels. Maybe Michelle Obama’s autobiography. Or
maybe, I’d play some Animal Crossing. It’s that warm feeling that you don’t quite want to shake
off to the day’s work. But I’ve got a busy day ahead. Today, I’m learning about superstitions.
INDOORS.
PROFESSOR MARTINEZ
When people talk about the origins of certain superstitions, it’s a case by case basis. But it
sounds like what you’re asking about is what causes a superstitious mindset.
DENVER [narrator]
That’s the voice of Rodrigo Martinez, a professor of anthropology at Saint Joshua University.
PROFESSOR MARTINEZ
Magical beliefs are meant to explain things. A lot of superstitions are a reaction to negative
experiences, plus no obvious meaning. Maybe you got hit by a car after you walked under a
ladder. Maybe it was so random and coincidental that nobody’s really at fault. Then you say,
okay, no more walking under ladders. We are acutely afraid of randomness. If we create
superstitions, then we can create strategies to avoid random events. It might not stop people from
dying or getting injured, but it can be deeply comforting to say that a bad consequence is at the
fault of something, and therefore avoidable.
DENVER
How would you explain someone’s belief that some people aren’t human?
15

16. PROFESSOR MARTINEZ
It could be caused by prejudice. Or it could represent certain fears of— What’s the context for
this?
DENVER
What if somebody thinks that they themself might not be a human being?
PROFESSOR MARTINEZ
I think I would need more context. They’re clearly trying to make sense of something. Could it
be about prejudice?
DENVER
I don’t think so.
DENVER [narrator]
I also wanted an explanation for the creature in the woods, though. So I got into contact with a
professor in psychology— Gavin Galloway of Saint Joshua University.
ELSEWHERE.
PROFESSOR GALLOWAY
This creature you’re describing reminds me a lot of sleep paralysis. Some opioids are associated
with dream-like hallucinations, so that could be a cause.
DENVER
You think Emma drugged them?
16

17. PROFESSOR GALLOWAY
I know you mentioned opioids, so if people could’ve somehow taken drugs, then yes, that might
cause a group of people to have similar hallucinations, if they’re continually talking to each other
and feeding into each other’s hallucinations.
DENVER [narrator]
And then, what about Glory? What about the missing girl?
SOMEWHERE ELSE.
DENVER
Bobby said something about Glory being a monster.
EMMA
Wait, that. Sounds right. Like she looked like a person, but. Somehow. Huh? That’s not right. She
was a person. She was person, she…
DENVER
Oooookay I’m gonna take a sip of water now. Let’s stop talking for a few seconds.
DENVER [narrator]
It looks like it’s time to finally talk about her. The one and only suspect Zero: Glory Johnson.
Female. 5 feet, 11 inches. 159 pounds. Round face, one chipped canine tooth. She was
reported missing in July of 2019. Glory Johnson was last seen in the Jail House of so-called
Stump Town, where Alaska Curtis was found dead hours later. If she’s still alive, Glory Johnson
is 21 years old. If she’s dead, her body’s 19. If you know the whereabouts of this missing
17

18. individual, please get into contact with us, or contact authorities in your area. Do you wanna
know more about Glory Johnson? No? Well too bad, I’m gonna tell you anyway.
RECORDING 1.
GLORY
Give me five reasons why I shouldn’t kill you.
RECORDING 2.
GLORY
No one cares how many schools you got into!
RECORDING 3.
GLORY
This? I made it out of bird bones.
RECORDING 2.
GLORY
The world is suffering and you’re posting about Harvard!
RECORDING 4.
GLORY
THAT’S… what you get. I play to win.
18

19. RECORDING 2.
GLORY
DON’T TELL ME HOW MUCH BETTER YOUR LIFE IS! YOU’VE GOTTA WATCH YOUR
FUCKING BACK!
DENVER [narrator]
Glory Johnson was the best friend of Boo Curtis, and a close friend of Bobby Yorke. At Holy
Cross High School, Glory broke records with her dress code violations. She always found a way
to carry a knife on her— but she never had to fight anyone. Rebellious for the sake of it. She had
a killer curiosity— the type to mix the wrong chemicals on lab days, just to make up her own
“science experiment.” And she always thought she could do more than she could. She tried to
climb the school building for fun, and she twisted her ankle. She tried twice. Twisted her ankle
twice. Glory’s exactly what you’d expect. She wore headphones in the hallways and she wore
black to every occasion. Trouble with drugs, trouble with her parents. She attracted a social
bubble of grumpy, emotional teenagers, and I’ve heard a few of her old buddies say that her
closest friend, Boo Curtis, was in love with her. Glory thought Holy Cross High School was her
hell on earth, but for Boo, it must’ve been a little more complicated.
RECORDING 5.
GLORY
Boo! Let’s kiss to freak him out!
BOO
Whatever. Sure. Like when. Uhh— MM!
19

20. DENVER [narrator]
Lastly, Glory had a special skill.
DENVER’S KITCHEN.
BOBBY
Glory had a special talent for… forgetting things. Like if she didn’t want to know something, she
didn’t have to. She would just forget. So nothing ever bothered her. She lived her life perfectly
happy, because, she could just forget anything.
20

21. WITH EMMA.
DENVER
Tell me about Glory.
EMMA
I hated her! Obnoxious nut-job!
WITH JO.
JO
You wanna know about Glory Johnson?
DENVER
Yes I do!
JO
Ugh, I was like the last person that saw her!
DENVER [narrator]
She wasn’t.
JO
She was like my best friend!
DENVER [narrator]
She definitely wasn’t.
DENVER
Mm. I’m sure you’ve been through a lot.
21

22. JO
Exactly! I’m so glad somebody understands!
WITH EMMA.
EMMA
I asked Glory if we could be friends, and she said she’s only friends with people who have white
lighters like Kurt Cobain did when he died. And then she spit in my mashed potatoes and said
my brain is like a peanut and she told me to hang myself!
DENVER
Really?
EMMA
Yeah!
WITH BOBBY.
BOBBY
That probably didn’t happen. Sometimes Emma just says things. She’s working on it.
WITH EMMA.
EMMA
I’m feeling vulnerable. Maybe you should give me a comforting hug? Mayhaps? Warm hug?
Very comforting hug?
22

23. DENVER
I’m a detective and you’re a suspect for murder.
EMMA
Right! (giggles) Maybe another time, then.
WITH BOBBY.
DENVER
Was Glory a human being?
BOBBY
Yeah!
DENVER
Yes? But before you said that she wasn’t a human being—
BOBBY
Don’t talk about that.
DENVER
—and you used the word otherworldly.
BOBBY
Don’t tell me that. Don’t— Stop it. Don’t tell me what I said. I don’t want to know.
WITH EMMA.
DENVER
Was Glory a human being?
23

24. EMMA
That’s a crazy question. Of course she was human. Obviously. I was. Delusional.
DENVER
Did you think Glory might not be human?
EMMA
I think I saw her behind bars somewhere. Where was that? She looked like a person, but
something. Happened. That’s stupid. That’s not a thing. I’m talking nonsense. Ignore me. Your
face is nice.
WITH JO.
DENVER
Was Glory a human being?
JO
What? Yes. I think? What?
DENVER
Are you a human being? Jo, are you a human being?
JO
I’ve never heard that question before. Yeah, obviously!
DENVER
Yeah, alright.
24

25. JO
I know crazy people think they’re not human. Like a horror movie. But I’m not an insane person,
no. If I was insane, I’d shoot myself, so.
DENVER
Oh. My god.
JO
So, y’know, yes, I know I’m a human being, obviously. Hey, I was kidding about the shooting
myself thing. Hey, you have something your hair. Let me help you with that. Do you wanna see
more pictures of my cats? My darling little angels!
BUS STOP.
DENVER [narrator]
At this point, I’ve interviewed Jo, Emma, and Bobby. Next is Jeremy. So I hop on the next bus to
Glen Cove, out where Jeremy works. Jeremy has a unique job. He works at Yesteryear Park. It’s
a combination time-travel-museum-and-theme-park, with all the typical rides, plus the cast
members teach you about history. After you leave bumper cars, Amelia Earhart can tell you
about her journey across the Atlantic. I never got Jeremy’s okay to drop in, but his father said he
should be fine with me showing up at the park.
25

26. DENVER’S KITCHEN.
MIKE GOLDBERG [phone]
That should be fine, just uh. Jeremy’s not great with authority, so if he seems closed off... he
didn’t do anything. It’s about authority.
DENVER
I dunno if I’m an authority. I’m private sector. I’m not the police.
DYLAN GOLDBERG [phone]
Yeah, well whatever. Are we done?
DENVER
Excuse me?
DENVER [narrator]
From watching Boo’s episode, I’m starting to get the feeling that Jeremy knows a lot more than
he lets on. More about Alaska. More about Glory. More about all of it. He could be a significant
source of information. But I’m really hoping Jeremy won’t mind me showing up to his place of
work uninvited.
YESTERYEAR PARK.
DENVER [narrator]
When I get to Yesteryear Park, it reeks of corndogs, and the signs are all smudged in grime. I see
someone in uniform fixing up one of the maps, and I go over to her.
DENVER
Hi there. Don’t mean to interrupt. I’m looking for Jeremy Goldberg?
26

27. CINDY THE MANAGER
He tends to prefer Ethel Smyth when he’s on premises. I’m his manager. What do you need him
for?
DENVER [narrator]
I introduce myself, and I give her the quick rundown.
CINDY THE MANAGER
Alright, but just to warn you, he has one of those big personalities and probably won’t respond
unless you call him Ethel. He should be over in Victoria’s England, right nearby Warp With King
Edward.
DENVER [narrator]
Before I leave, we chat briefly. I ask her about the map.
CINDY THE MANAGER
We don’t usually replace maps while the park’s open but there’s a situation we’re rectifying right
now. There’s a haunted house that’s scaring people too much, and we’re trying to close it as soon
as possible, but there are some legal issues with that. So I’m at least taking that attraction off the
map.
DENVER
Did someone have a heart-attack?
CINDY THE MANAGER
Actually, it’s making people leave the park. Folks’re getting superstitious.
DENVER
Really?
27

28. CINDY THE MANAGER
Yeah, it’s because of the last room. Everybody likes it until the last room. They see it, and then
they stop buying food, they definitely don’t play any games. It’s like they’re depressed. You can’t
get a penny out of those people. I’ve never seen a haunted house have that kind of reaction.
They’re supposed to buy more after. You can blame Ethel Smyth for that.
DENVER
No kidding.
DENVER [narrator]
Ethel Smyth, aka Jeremy, aka Logan, aka Bluesy, aka probably some other names too. Jeremy
designed a haunted house that was making people superstitious; the perfect place to research our
superstitious suspects.
SOON.
DENVER [narrator]
I get to Victoria’s England. Have a little look around. And soon, I realize that Jeremy’s been
nearby for a while.
DENVER
Jeremy?
LOGAN
WHO IS JAHRAHMY!
DENVER [narrator]
I barely recognize him. He’s wearing something— something a little different.
28

29. LOGAN
I AM ETHEL SMYTH!
DENVER
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
DENVER [narrator]
Jeremy’s wearing this fanciful gown. He’s got
a wig.
DENVER [narrator]
It looks pretty convincing, with all the hair tied up into a bun. So this is his Ethel Smyth
character— the character he plays at Yesteryear. I’ve heard him play the character on Boo’s side
of things, but in person, he stands up straight, looks down at you. He’s got a strong presence.
DENVER
We’ve met before. Hi. Detective Finn Denver? It’s Jeremy, right?
LOGAN
A detective!?
DENVER
I’m actually investigating the murder of Alaska Curtis.
LOGAN
You were a detective!? My GOD! A dirty MUTTON SHUNTER! Mercy, Ethel’s in trouble now!
DENVER
Mm. (pause) I like the outfit. I have some questions for you. First, though, what’re your
pronouns?
29

30. LOGAN
Um! Me? I? Is that right?
DENVER
No, do you want people to call you “he”?
LOGAN
Ethel Smyth is not a man! You are confounding me with Jeremy or Logan!
DENVER
Okay, okay, got it. It’s drag. Or whatever. Uhhhh, like I said, I have some questions for you. I
wanted to ask you about Glory Johnson.
LOGAN
Glor-guhy? Is that a name?
DENVER
Yeah. I think they had that name, Glory, in Britain.
LOGAN
I, Ethel Smyth, have never heard of such a person among the people whom are being and such
wherewithin, etcetera. I believe you are still confusing me for a certain Jeremy or Logan
Goldberg. I cannot answer this question.
DENVER
Listen, Jeremy, this is—
LOGAN
That is Dame Ethel Smyth to you! Do you see a Jeremy?
30

31. Denver sighs.
LOGAN
If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then I am marginalized female composer Dame
Ethel Smyth who far outshines my compatriots despite my— my— um.
DENVER
Jeremy.
LOGAN
Exquisite! Abilities. Exquisite abilities, is what I have!
DENVER
Jeremy.
LOGAN
Oh Britania! If only your anthem were written by such a talented composer as I! (hums God
Save the Queen) This piece is shit. (continues humming) Well I guess my country is shit. (hums)
Women’s rights. (hums)
DENVER [narrator]
So for this next part, I sort of have to show you this. So, at the time, I’m sensing our conversation
could use a change in direction, and… So, if you remember, like with Emma, I have a way of
trying to get people to talk. Just wait for this part to be over. It’ll be over soon.
DENVER
Fine. Dame Ethel Smyth. I know this is hard for you. I’m sure that everything about that night is
traumatic, and everything leading up to it was traumatic. Instead of looking away from your pain,
31

32. I want you to use it to help you. Let it help Alaska. I need you to help him. I can tell that you’re
beautiful on the inside, too.
LOGAN
Pardon? Once more? The last of your words?
DENVER
You’re beautiful on the inside?
LOGAN
Hmmm. Bro are you into me!?
DENVER [narrator]
I was just trying to get him to open up and talk. I know this is a little presumptuous here, but I
figured that if he was wearing a dress, he might be— you know. And, I’m not into men or
anything, I just figured— Ahh!
LOGAN
That’s fuckin gay, dude! You’re into me!? That is so fuckin’ funny!
Logan cackles.
DENVER
I’m not! You don’t get it. That’s not what I meant!
LOGAN
Okay, you’re great! What did you wanna know about?
32

33. DENVER
I wanted you to tell me about Glory Johnson.
LOGAN
Oh, hey, I know that chick! Oh, by the way, (Ethel Smyth voice) unfortunately for you, I am a
lesbian. I scissored Virginia Woolf and I probably tongue-fucked your great great grandma. So
good luck!
DENVER [narrator]
We take a seat nearby and talk.
DENVER
Was Glory human?
LOGAN
Oh shit, now that you mention it, yeah, yeah, she’s human, man.
DENVER
Oookay. Have you seen her do anything supernatural?
LOGAN
Uh, no, not really. The occasional flying into the air. Picking up cars. Nothing other than that.
DENVER [narrator]
And it’s a bust. Jeremy isn’t even too superstitious.
DENVER
Have you recently witnessed anything supernatural?
LOGAN
Uhhhh there was a maze thing. I can send you the episode link.
33

34. DENVER [narrator]
But I ask him for directions to his haunted house. I have no reason to think it’s connected to the
case, but I’m hoping it could be something.
LOGAN
Yes, I did design one haunted manor. From the town square, follow the main path and you can’t
possibly miss it. Unless you’re incredibly stupid. It’s entitled Journey from the Crypt, an
ingenious title. $20 entry in addition to your original park admission price. I have no idea what a
dollar is. They just tell me to say that.
DENVER
Thanks, Jeremy. I’ll check it out.
LOGAN
Ethel. Nobody’s name is Jeremy.
DENVER [narrator]
So without expecting much, I head to Jeremy’s haunted house. I queue up into the line, hands
tucked into my trouser pockets. The weather really is getting colder. At the front, I pay the
twenty bucks and they have me sign a consent form. The dark building’s stretched high. You’d
have to crane your neck back to look at the sky overhead.
I remember my conversation with Cindy, Jeremy’s manager. She said the last room was
practically traumatizing people. What’s in there?
Finally, the doors open for me. I enter alone.
We hear it.
34

35. DENVER [narrator]
I step into a long hall. It’s dim. And at the end of the hallway, there’s a plastic coffin stood up
there— painted to look like wood. Nearby, a woman stands, waiting. She's wearing a cheap
werewolf mask contorted into a snarl. And behind the mask, her human eyes looked distant.
Bored. She jams her fingers under the coffin’s lid, and she pulls it open. And she points. Like
she’s saying I should go inside.
I give the room a good glancing around. No other way forward. So I step inside.
And the haunted house begins. I’ll describe for you, best I can, what the house is like.
When you’re inside the coffin, it smells like alcohol wipes. You’re in the darkness, and
maybe, if you're the type, you’re hit with a wave of claustrophobia. There’s no raising your arms
in here. It’s too tight. Your only solace is a set of holes letting you gaze out: four horizontal slits
in the coffin. Eye-level. These holes let you look into a scene. Victorian figures walk by,
moaning and making faces. Another plastic-faced werewolf growls and shakes its snout at you.
You can hear the sound of a baby crying from the speakers in the coffin.
When the coffin opens up, you’re in a new room. Black fabric is attached to the ceiling
and little white lights create the illusion of the night sky. Styrofoam graves decorate the floors,
and you have to navigate around them. And then, the haunted house starts to get a little weird.
You might be waiting for a monster to hop out and scream at you. Instead, regular-looking
people in Victorian attire are standing in a group. They’re having a casual conversation and when
you walk to them, they look at you. Their faces contort in a dark horror. Darkness fills their eyes.
They turn around and run.
35

36. DENVER
Is someone behind me? No? You’re running from me? Okay. That’s, that’s, that’s fine.
DENVER [narrator]
When you get to the end of the room, you find a typical set of stairs. Walk up the stairs, and you
find yourself in a hall of mirrors. And now, here comes the trick— it’s not actually a hall of
mirrors. A bunch of actors are wearing scary costumes, and behind the glass, they mirror your
motions. They pretend to be your reflection. So when you raise your hand, the scary zombie in
the mirror raises their hand. When you walk, the monster walks with you, timing it the best they
can. Based on your reflection, you might feel a little like a monster, or at least, that’s what
they’re trying to show you. I actually kind of enjoy watching it, even if the illusion doesn’t work
so well. There’s always just a little bit of lag when they mirror you, and obviously, when you put
your hand to the glass, and he puts his hand to the glass, you can see your own human hand, fully
intact, while his is rotten to the core and half there.
Then, comes the next room. You walk in. An actor looks at you, terrified, and then… she
hangs herself.
DENVER
AH!
DENVER [narrator]
She pretends— to hang herself. Next room. Another Victorian interior. There’s a guy sitting on
the floor. He’s chained up to the wall, shivering.
36

37. And you might think, finally— here’s someone to be afraid of. This has to be the villain
of the haunted house. This man’s chained up, so it has to be him, right? He’s going to lunge at
me, right, and the chains’re gonna hold him back.
But no. He sits, shivering, chained up. Minding his own business. Until you take a step
loud enough. He looks up to you. Backs away in fear. But you have to walk past him, there’s no
other way. So when you finally get close enough to him— he saws his arm off. In order to run
away. Lying on the ground, his arm is still left behind. It’s just a cheap piece of plastic without
any fake blood. Lying there.
DENVER
Hey! Wait! Quick question! I need you to come back and answer a question. Or maybe someone
can come talk to me? I’d like to ask you how I can leave. So. So where do I go to leave? If I’d
like to leave the haunted house like now? No? Nobody? I’d like to leave! Okay, I’m going into
the next room. I would appreciate some consideration of how I feel right now in whatever you’re
about to do. Thanks.
DENVER [narrator]
The next room is different from all the others. It’s plain. You step into it and you get a proper
look. And then you notice. A projector displays all across the room: eyes. Eyes, staring at you,
from every angle. Every single angle. And after a moment, you look even more closely, and you
realize; some of the eyes aren’t projected. Some of them are real people, standing just beyond the
wall. Watching you.
37

38. DENVER
Okay! I’m leaving! Thank you! Did somebody block the way I came in? Is this legal, because—
At the very least, this is definitely a fire hazard.
Denver huffs and breathes quickly.
DENVER
(straining) If I can just get this thing— to!—
Denver catches his breath.
DENVER
You really shouldn’t run a business this way! I’m going to step into the next room, so please.
Please be considerate. I’m a customer. Paying customer. So.
DENVER [narrator]
In a little entryway room, there’s a figure. It’s a statue. It doesn’t run from you. It doesn’t do
anything. It’s a waxy man with glowing red eyes, and a dark hood, like a generic Halloween
decoration.
DENVER
Okay, well! That’s not even scary! Now you’re just making fun of me.
38

39. LOGAN [recording]
You’ve done so well! Aren’t you glad I brought you back from the grave? Now you’ll be just like
me! I’m so proud of you!
Evil laugh.
DENVER
Whatever, man.
LOGAN [recording]
Go through those doors and see where your story ends!
Evil, evil laugh.
DENVER [narrator]
Then, the door opens up. What lays inside… is not a Victorian interior. It’s a hospital room. The
fluorescent lights are blaring white over a modern landscape of hospital beds, hospital curtains,
and it blinds you at first, cauterizes your vision into a pitch white, until finally, it fades. You can
see: in the center of the room, a patient lays on a hospital bed. He’s wearing a hospital gown.
And he’s got on another cheap, plastic werewolf mask. The patient jitters and jolts every few
seconds as he’s prodded by unseen surgical tools. Doctors are gathered all around in surgical
masks, and they’re performing an unseen surgery, revving up drills, clacking their forceps. You
39

40. stand there for a few seconds, and then a voiceover booms from the speakers. It’s a familiar
voice: the voice of Jeremy Goldberg.
LOGAN [recording]
You thought I didn’t see you. But I saw. I know what you did, Doctor. It was very clever. Oh, it
was just a mistake, wasn’t it? Just a, just a slip of the hand. Nobody suspects the doctor they
trust.
DENVER [narrator]
Black blood begins to ooze from the body, pooling onto the ground.
LOGAN [recording]
But I know you killed them all, Doctor. Did you have fun? Was it satisfying? I know there are
days when you meant to do right. But then you get distracted. While everyone’s looking for the
doctor, you’re off fucking some nurse in the janitor’s closet, or you’re just too distracted, aren’t
you? And you sew up someone’s leg up with your wedding ring inside. Nobody’s going to do
anything, Doctor. But I saw you. And I’ll always be watching.
Sound powers down.
DENVER [narrator]
Everything goes dark.
DENVER
Is this a blackout? Or is this supposed to happen? (pauses) Was that the scary last room or what?
Someone tell me if we’re done now.
40

41. SCARE ACTOR
Hey! Hey, you real— There’s an exit sign!
DENVER
Finally! Someone says something! Thank you, God!
SCARE ACTOR
You are welcome!
DENVER [narrator]
You walk to the red exit sign in the darkness. And then, there it is.
A door is pushed in and opened.
He walks into a new room.
DENVER
What is this?
DENVER [narrator]
It’s the final room. This is it. Not the walls of eyes, not the hospital scene. It’s here. The
werewolf from the hospital bed is lying in a pit. The ground is painted to look like grass and dirt.
A sky is painted above. And you’re surrounded by figures wearing black. It’s a funeral. A woman
with a black veil turns away to weep. Probably his widow.
And I think, I get it a teensy bit. A haunted house is supposed to be fun. It’s violent. But
it’s not supposed to be real. When you think of fun violence, when you think of the horror
movies you pay to see and the ghost stories and the blood. You never, for the life of you, think of
41

42. the funeral. You never think of the quiet moment they bury him beneath his grave. Sadism means
ignoring truth.
There’s a television in the center of the wall. It turns on. I look around, and it’s not over.
And there, on the television, is Jeremy, recorded in the flesh.
LOGAN [television recording]
Hey, what’s up! Nothing to be scared of anymore! My name is Logan Goldberg, and I just
wanted to thank you personally for checking out my haunted house. So thanks! Uh, it really is a
pleasure to work with all of the wonderful, talented folks at Yesteryear Park. I’d like to thank my
manager, Cindy, for always letting me go buck-wild with my creative decisions. She is the best,
such a sweetheart. And I’d like to thank you. We all know it, I’ll just say it, Yesteryear has
trouble keeping afloat. But it’s because people like you go out of your way to come to our
haunted houses consistently that we can do this. Other than that… I, uh, I just wanted to tell you
why I made this attraction the way that it is. My creative vision, I guess. I made this because…
I’m not a human being. Puh-POW! (laughing) I don’t, I don’t think like you, I don’t talk like
you, I definitely don’t like you. I just walk around in a skin-suit. And I know you can tell. Can’t
you? Can’t you?
DENVER
I don’t know how, but… but… I can.
LOGAN [television recording]
I know you can see it. I know you can hear it.
I know it keeps you up at night, doesn’t it?
LOGAN [television recording]
Take this as an education. Now you know what it’s like to be one of us; to be an Outsider.
42

43. DENVER
An Outsider?
YESTERYEAR PARK.
Children are laughing and playing.
DENVER [narrator]
When I’m outside, I turn around in slow, little circles. Over and over. I look at all of them— all
of the children. All of the mothers and fathers. The groups of teenagers. One employee, standing
by a tree, secretly smoking towards the bushes. But maybe none of them are people. Anyone, all
of them, none of them could be one of them. Somewhere in the people, they’re lurking: the
Outsiders. The people who aren’t people. I look to my left. And I see someone staring deep into
the crowd. They see beyond it. They see what I see. We cannot go back.
43

44. CREDITS
THE GHOST FACTORY
WRITER/DIRECTOR/HEAD - Cameron LeBrun
EDITOR - Nikolas Harter
MUSIC - Thor Speeler, Cameron LeBrun, Manas Kunder
“HERE COME THE RAINDROPS” - Reed Mathis
AMBIENCE DESIGN - Avery Callahan
SFX - Andrew Tikhonovich, Manas Kunder
MIX & MASTER - Manas Kunder
ART - Bella Wynne, Lock Reinhardt, and doritofalls
JO MAGARO - Sally Roberts
EMMA WOOTEN - Liz Mina
LOGAN GOLDBERG - Trent Trachtenberg
BOBBY YORKE - Kyle Vincent Parker
BOO CURTIS - Alex Redd
GLORY JOHNSON - Lindsay Zana
FINN DENVER - Joseph Kitembo
DYLAN GOLDBERG - Carl Grasso
OTHER VOICES - Kristopher Jordan, Lisa Nicole Young, Felix Bermudez, Julian Patrick
Samaonte, Dakota West
44