This document discusses unified paragraphs and their key components. It addresses issues like paragraph sprawl and appearance. It emphasizes that each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence that states the main idea and point. It outlines common paragraph structures used in academic writing like cause and effect. It also discusses linguistic devices that can be used to strengthen coherence, such as pointer words, relationship words, repetition, and parallel structure. Finally, it provides an example of a paragraph that could be improved by dividing it into two paragraphs of a more appropriate length and focus.

1. Editing I:
Unified Paragraphs
Class 6

2. Zsolt Almási EssayWriting I 2
Problems with a
Paragraph
•Paragraph Sprawl
•Bad Paragraph
Appearance

3. Zsolt Almási EssayWriting I 3
Unified
Paragraph
•Topic Sentence
•Paragraph Structure
•Linguistic Means

4. Zsolt Almási EssayWriting I 4
Pair-Work
• Read P’s 1a-2b
• Decide on the
characteristic features
of a Topic Sentence
• Read P 3a
• Find out what the
problem is with it
• 3b will help you

5. Topic sentence
Thinking about the 1990s brings back a lot of memories for me about
fashion and popular culture. During the 1990s, I really enjoyed
watching Friends on television every Thursday night. I really wanted
Rachel’s haircut—I think every girl wanted Rachel’s haircut back then!
Rachel’s haircut went really well with the Guess Jeans that were so
popular in the 1990s. I remember all the advertisements for Guess and
Calvin Klein Jeans that were in each month’s Sassy magazine. I don’t
think Sassy magazine exists anymore, but it was one of the most popular
magazines for young women in the 1990s.
https://owl.purdue.edu/engagement/ged_preparation/exercise_answers/ind
ex.html
2020.03.16. Zsolt Almási EssayWriting I 5

6. Zsolt Almási EssayWriting I 6
Topic Sentence
• Main idea
• Commitment and
Response
• Downshifting

7. Main Idea
Every paragraph should include a topic sentence that
identifies the main idea of the paragraph. A topic sentence
also states the point the writer wishes to make about that
subject. Generally, the topic sentence appears at the
beginning of the paragraph. It is often the paragraph’s very
first sentence. A paragraph’s topic sentence must be general
enough to express the paragraph’s overall subject. But it
should be specific enough that the reader can understand the
paragraph’s main subject and point.
https://owl.purdue.edu/engagement/ged_preparation/part_1_l
essons_1_4/index.html
2020.03.16. Zsolt Almási EssayWriting I 7

8. Zsolt Almási EssayWriting I 8
Common Paragraph
Structures
• Cause and
Effect
• Comparison
and Contrast
• Definition
• Illustration
• Classification
• Narration or
Process
• Analogy

9. Zsolt Almási EssayWriting I 9
Linguistic
Means
• Pointer Words
• Relationship Words
• Repetition
• Parallel Structure

10. Zsolt Almási EssayWriting I 10
Pointer words
One student in particular,a nonsmoker, argued
eloquently before the committee that there are
many reasons to oppose a campuswide ban on
smoking. First, such a policy unduly penalizes an
activity that is non, in fact, illegal. Second,
enforcement of the policy might encourage
insidious intrusions upon the privacy of students.
Last, a ban on smoking might set a precedent ...

11. Zsolt Almási EssayWriting I 11
Relationship Words
Opinion at the hearing had generally favored
the proposal to abolish smoking on campus.
However, the student’s arguments made
some proponents waver as they considered
the wider implications of the actions. What
would happen, for example, if one group on
campus, citing statistics on heart disease,
demanded campuswide ban of fast foods?

12. Zsolt Almási EssayWriting I 12
Repetition
What makes smoking a social problem is the
phenomenon of passive smoking. Passive smoking
describes the inhalation of combustion by-
products by nonsmokers living or working in the
vicinity of smokers. Scientific studies suggest a
correlation between certain health problems in
nonsmoker and passive smoking. Because of the
correlation, institutions must act prudently to
protect their employees and residents from a
possible health hazard.

13. Zsolt Almási EssayWriting I 13
Parallel Structure
Should smoking be banned because it imposes a
health hazard upon individuals who do not smoke?
Then shouldn’t drinking be similarly outlawed,
since alcoholism victimizes millions of families
and drunk driving kills thousands of innocent
people every year? Shouldn’t automobiles be
banned because they maim hundreds of
pedestrians every year? Shouldn’t the printing of
controversial books be halted because they plant
dangerous ideas in the minds of millions of
readers every hour?

14. Zsolt Almási EssayWriting I 14
Paragraph Appearance 1
• Too Long: Chop it up
–Shifts in time
–Shifts in place
–Shifts in direction
–Shifts in emphasis or focus
• Too Short

15. Paragraph Appearance 2
• Ideal length
–Min. 3 sentences, max. 5.
–Min. 4 lines, max 8.
• Paragraphs of equal size
2020.03.16. Zsolt Almási EssayWriting I 15

16. Paragraph Appearance 3.a
Thinking about the 1990s brings back a lot of memories for me about fashion and
popular culture. During the 1990s, I really enjoyed watching Friends on television every
Thursday night. I really wanted Rachel’s haircut—I think every girl wanted Rachel’s haircut
back then! Rachel’s haircut went really well with the Guess Jeans that were so popular in the
1990s. I remember all the advertisements for Guess and Calvin Klein Jeans that were in each
month’s Sassy magazine. I don’t think Sassy magazine exists anymore, but it was one of the
most popular magazines for young women in the 1990s.
Thinking about the 1990s brings back a lot of memories for me about fashion and
popular culture. During the 1990s, I really enjoyed watching Friends on television every
Thursday night. I really wanted Rachel’s haircut—I think every girl wanted Rachel’s haircut
back then! Rachel’s haircut went really well with the Guess Jeans that were so popular in the
1990s. I remember all the advertisements for Guess and Calvin Klein Jeans that were in each
month’s Sassy magazine. I don’t think Sassy magazine exists anymore, but it was one of the
most popular magazines for young women in the 1990s
2020.03.16. Zsolt Almási EssayWriting I 16

17. Paragraph Appearance 3.b
Thinking about the 1990s brings back a lot of memories for me about
fashion and popular culture. During the 1990s, I really enjoyed watching Friends on
television every Thursday night. I really wanted Rachel’s haircut—I think every girl wanted
Rachel’s haircut back then! Rachel’s haircut went really well with the Guess Jeans that were
so popular in the 1990s. I remember all the advertisements for Guess and Calvin Klein Jeans
that were in each month’s Sassy magazine. I don’t think Sassy magazine exists anymore, but
it was one of the most popular magazines for young women in the 1990s.
Thinking about the 1990s brings back a lot of memories for me about
fashion and popular culture. During the 1990s, I really enjoyed watching Friends on
television every Thursday night. I really wanted Rachel’s haircut—I think every girl wanted
Rachel’s haircut back then! Rachel’s haircut went really well with the Guess Jeans that were
so popular in the 1990s. I remember all the advertisements for Guess and Calvin Klein Jeans
that were in each month’s Sassy magazine. I don’t think Sassy magazine exists anymore, but
it was one of the most popular magazines for young women in the 1990s
2020.03.16. Zsolt Almási EssayWriting I 17

18. Zsolt Almási EssayWriting I 18
Home Assignment
• Develop the
Paragraphs (highlight
them) of your paper,
share them, comment
on those of your
groupmates.
• Do the reading
assignment