The document critiques 'Twilight' by highlighting its poor writing, weak plot structure, and distortion of classical vampire lore. It emphasizes the redundancy in the portrayal of the character Edward and the shallow character development of the protagonist, Bella. The author argues that the series creates an almost indestructible and simplistic version of vampires, leading to a lack of depth and realism.

1. Twilight: a literary atrocityByJames Garner

2. Why? Poor Writing

3. Weak Plot Structure

4. Distortion of Classical Literary VampirePoor WritingMultiple spelling and grammatical errors"I slipped unwillingly out of the toasty truck cab and walked down a little stone path line with dark hedges. I took a deep breath before opening the door. Inside, it was brightly lit, and warmer then I'd hoped.""The room was familiar; it had been belonged to me since I was born.""We'd rolled the windows down--the Suburban was a bit claustrophobic with nine people in it--and I tried to absorb as much sunlight as possible.”“She brought several sheets to the counter to show roe.”“Mike appatently had the same notion”“It's always sunny, and the umidity really isn't that bad.”“"They had to keep you sedated for a while, honey — you've got a lot of injuries.”” (Dash should be a comma)All from Twilight

5. Poor WritingInconsistencies“And then his cold, marble lips pressed very softly against mine.”(T)“I snuggled into his stone chest.”(NM)“...when Charlie was up I made him pancakes.”(BD)A few sentences later we see:“He scowled into his cereal bowl...”

6. RedundancyThe amount of times Edward is called “beautiful” or some similar adjective.(All taken from Twilight)“I glanced sideways at the beautiful boy, who was looking at his tray now, picking a bagel to pieces with long, pale fingers. His mouth was moving very quickly, his perfect lips barely opening.”“I looked up to see him smiling a crooked smile so beautiful that I could only stare at him like an idiot.”“Interesting… and brilliant… and mysterious… and perfect… and beautiful…and possibly able to lift full-sized vans with one hand.”“It was hard to believe that someone so beautiful could be real.”“He was smiling, relaxed - and, as usual, perfect and beautiful to an excruciating degree.”“Hesitantly, always afraid, even now, that he would disappear like a mirage, too beautiful to be real… hesitantly, I reached out one finger and stroked the back of his shimmering hand, where it lay within my reach.”

7. Redundancy“...his voice was harsher than usual. Harsh for him, still more beautiful than any human voice.” (Notice also, the reuse of the word“harsh”)“His mouth twitched up into that crooked smile so beautiful my heart nearly stopped.”“The beautiful one, the godlike one…”“There was agony in his beautiful voice again.”“His voice was beautiful, like a lullaby.”"Usually." He smiled widely, flashing a set of perfect, ultrawhite teeth.” (Note: “ultrawhite” is not a word)“I didn't want to feel what I knew I would feel when I looked at his too-perfect face.”“Again, the fabric clung to his perfectly muscled chest.”“His white shirt was sleeveless, and he wore it unbuttoned, so that the smooth white skin of his throat flowed uninterrupted over the marble contours of his chest, his perfect musculature no longer merely hinted at behind concealing clothes.”

8. Weak Plot StructureBreaking Dawn, final book in series has no climaxEntire book is focused on the Rising ActionClimax is never reached, is instead thrown away

9. Character DevelopmentProtagonist, Bella, never changes.From the beginning is very shallowNo real direction in life, is moving away from home for no identifiable purposeMost of the series revolves around how beautiful Edward isEdward is given a chance to develop, yet nothing comes of itEdward believes being a vampire has damned his soul, a potential point for character development

10. Distortion of Classical Literary Vampire“Dracula vs. Edward”

11. A comparisonEdward's StrengthsUnknown strength limitationsPotentially immortalDoes not require sleepCan play piano very wellCan read mindsUnexplained in booksDracula's StrengthsStrength of 20 menPotentially immortalCan shape shift into the form of a wolf or a batCan appear as elemental dust or mistHas hypnotic power over victims

12. A comparisonEdward's Weaknesses~* Sparkles *~ in sunlightSubject to fits of teenage angstDracula's WeaknessesMay not enter a household unless invited inCan only sleep on soil of native landLoses powers during daylight hoursRepelled by garlic or holy symbols

13. DistortionStephanie Meyer has distorted the classic vampire into an almost indestructible forceVampires in the Twilight series have almost no weaknesses, creating a simple, shallow, and almost all-powerful characterNo room for character to grow

14. Why the hype?

15. ~* Edward *~The main reason that so many people are attracted to the book is the character named EdwardEdward is, according to most girls, the personification of the “perfect” guyEdward listensEdward is politeEdward is protectiveEdward sparklesMost importantly: Edward is HOT!

16. The DownsideEdward is “perfect”In reality, no one is.Good luck, girls.Fun fact: Robert Pattinson has been asked by a pre-teen fan to bite her.What about the impression these movies and books are having on children?