Tools to Improve Professional Writing

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Tools to improve your
professional writing
Dr. Sajid Iqbal
Assistant Professor
University of Engineering & Technology
(UET) Lahore
sajid.iqbal@uet.edu.pk

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而易忘,
见而易记,
做而易懂

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Accept that writing is hard for everyone.

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“…..friend told me that in his academic world,
'publish or perish’ is really true. He doesn’t
care if nobody reads it or understands it as
long as it’s published.”
Anne Ku,“The joys and pains of writing and editing”Le Bon Journal

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The fundamental proposition of
Western philosophy: the cogito

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“As no two authors write in the same way,
no one can say which way of writing will suit
you best. You will have to find out for
yourself. The writing procedure described
here is the one I personally have found most
useful – by trial and error.”
How to Write and Illustrate a Scientific Paper, Bjorn Gustavii
Know
thyself!

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As a writer and teacher, I try to learn something about the
craft daily. I am a student of writing. I have compiled six
reference books.
Whether you are an undergrad student writing his project
report or a grad student writing a paper, you will find all
the ways to write it better in this workshop.
Main take-home message is, "Make yourself likeable". I
want you to like me so that you will follow my advice---and
recommend my workshop to your friend. And that's
important for you to know because it means I am on your
side.
Make yourself likeable

Questions That Every Writer Must Answer
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 Where do good ideas come from?
 Why does one piece of writing succeed, and other
fail?
 Should sentences and paragraphs be long or
short?
 When should be rules of grammar be obeyed,
and when should they be stretched?
 How can you look at your own work and judge it
fairly?
Gary Provost – 100 Ways to improve your writing

Why should we publish?
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 To graduate, to get a job, or to advance career.
 To convey a useful and re-useable idea.
Scientists aim:
 To add to the body of human knowledge
 To help themselves and others understand the
nature of the universe
Good papers and talks are fundamental part of research
excellence.
http://academy.springer.com/journal-author-academy

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It is a design rule that systems perform best when they
have simple designs rather than complex ones.
Albert Einstein said, “Everything should be made as
simple as possible, but not simpler.”

No approach
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No ultimate truth regarding scientific writing.
Jeffrey Holmes - Style and Ethics of Communication in Science and Engineering

No one-size-fits-all approach (Cont.)
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Each person should, thus, develop a style
that is most effective for him or her.
Jeffrey Holmes - Style and Ethics of Communication in Science and Engineering

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Title
Abstract
Introduction: What was the question?
Methods: How did the researchers try to answer it?
Results: What did the researchers find?
and
Discussion: What do the results mean?
Conclusion
References
The parts of a scientific paper

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“What is written without effort is
in general read without pleasure.”
― Samuel Johnson,
English writer, lexicographer

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“There is no form of prose more difficult
to understand and more tedious to read
than the average scientific paper,”
--Francis Crick
Co-discoverer of the structure
of the DNA molecule in 1953
The Astonishing Hypothesis. 1994
The problem…

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"The whole tendency of modern
prose is away from concreteness."
George Orwell, "Politics and the English Language"

Why write clearly and correctly?
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“Good science is what is most important in your
article. But if your article is poorly written, then
the editor and reviewers may not be able to
appreciate the full impact of your work. An article
with serious grammar, language, or spelling
problems may be returned for editing before it is
even thoroughly reviewed. Revise your article, and
then revise it again. Do not let your writing detract
from the science.”
How to Write for Technical Periodicals & Conferences.
www.ieee.org/publications_standards/<wbr>publications/authors/

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― George Orwell,
Politics and the English Language
“The great enemy of clear language is
insincerity. When there is a gap between
one’s real and one’s declared aims, one
turns as it were instinctively to long
words and exhausted idioms, like a
cuttlefish spurting out ink.”

An interesting fact…
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“About 60% of reviewers criticisms pertain to
the quality of the writing or tables and graphs;
and about 40% pertain to the quality of the
scientific work.”
Robert Iles. Guidebook to better medical writing.

Scientific literature is different, but…
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 Scientific writing should be easy and even
enjoyable to read!
 Complex ideas can be explained in
uncomplicated language.

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Clear writing is writing that
is incapable of being
misunderstood.
— Quintilian
Roman rhetorician

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~George D. Gopen and Judith A. Swan
The Science of Scientific Writing. 1990
If the reader is to grasp what the
writer means,
the writer must understand what the
reader needs

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A Plain Language Handbook: Write For Your Reader
What literacy skills do my readers have?
About 66% of aboriginal adults and 31% of non-
Aboriginal adults do not have the literacy skills needed
for daily living.
These people might not be able to:
– Read directions on a medicine bottle.
– Help their child with their homework.
– Fill out a housing application.
About 50% of Northwest Territories (NWT: Canada)
adults have the literacy skills needed for daily living.

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https://www.census.gov/about/policies
/plain_writing/ten_simple_steps.html
Why Use Plain Language?
Our readers are busy. They want to scan, not
read. About 79% of users scan new pages they
come across; only 16% read word-by-word. Plain
language saves money, increases efficiency, and
reduces the need for clarification.

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Federal Plain Language Guidelines. March 2011.
The first rule of plain language is: write for your audience.
Use language your audience knows and feels comfortable
with. Take your audience’s current level of knowledge
into account. Don’t write for an 8th grade class if your
audience is composed of PhD candidates, small business
owners, working parents, or immigrants.

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https://songregistration.com/blog/todays-songwriting-tip-advice-from-vonnegut/
Advice from the great American
writer, Kurt Vonnegut
“Pick a subject you care
so deeply about that
you’d speak on a soapbox
about it.”

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Everybody has heard tips for
improving vocabulary.
There are many books that will help you stretch
your vocabulary.
Learn a new word in the morning and use it three
times before sunset and it’s yours.
1. Expand Your Vocabulary

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How will better spelling improve your writing?
Mostly, good spelling is a matter of forming the right
mental associations and developing an eye for words
that look a little weird.
A few misspelled words will jar the reader’s
concentration, and a lot of misspelled words will wreck
your credibility.
Right or wrong, the reader will perceive you as stupid, to
put it bluntly. If you don’t have the respect of the reader,
your writing will not work.
2. Improve Your Spelling

3. Read
“Read not to contradict and confute; nor to believe
and take for granted; nor to find talk and discourse;
but to weigh and consider.
Some books are to be tasted, others to be
swallowed, and some few to be chewed and
digested: that is, some books are to be read only in
parts, others to be read, but not curiously, and
some few to be read wholly, and with diligence and
attention.”
Father of Empiricism, Francis Bacon
The Essays

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“When you read, don't just
consider what the author thinks,
consider what you think”
Tom Schulman
American screenwriter,
(Dead Poets Society)

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If you steal from one author it‘s
plagiarism;
if you steal from many it‘s
research.
— Wilson Mizner

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“The greatest part of a writer's time is
spent in reading, in order to write: a
man will turn over half a library to
make one book.”
― Samuel Johnson
English writer, lexicographer

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3. Read (Cont.)
https://pne.people.si.umich.edu/PDF/howtoread.pdf

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A doctor should read medical literature. And an
engineer should also read something.
Reading the literature of your particular field will
keep you informed.
It will show how the experienced writers are
turning the jargon and the complexities of your
trade into readable prose.
3. Read (Cont.)

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Some reading tricks for writers:
 Read for both content and form.
 Read to listen to the voice of the writer.
 Read entire books when they compel you; but also
taste bits of books.
 Read a pen nearby. Write in the margins. Mark
interesting passage.
 Talk back to the author. Ask questions of the text.
 In choosing what to read, be directed by your writing
compass not just by the advice of others.
3. Read (Cont.)

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If you do believe good writing can be taught, you
could benefit from a class.
If you don’t believe that good writing can be
taught, you shouldn’t be taking this course.
4. Take a Class

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If you have spent time writing in your head, you’ll
have a head start.
The writing will come easier, and you’ll finish
sooner.
Get your thoughts organized while you’re driving
to work.
Think of a slant during lunch.
5. Write in Your Head

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“It is not the writing part
that’s hard. What is hard is
sitting down to write.”
-- Steven Pressfield, The War of Art

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For most writers the hardest part of any writing
project is getting started.
For eliminating such ordeal is to write in large
blocks of time rather than try to write for ten
minutes here and ten minutes there.
When will you be left undisturbed for an hour or
two? Can you lock the door? Unplug the phone?
6. Choose a Time and Place

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You will get more writing done in an undisturbed
hour than you would in a dozen ten-minute
bursts.
It is also important to find a quiet place to write.
If you can’t find a quiet place to write, use
earplugs.
6. Choose a Time and Place (Cont.)

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When you’re looking for a job or you want to buy a house,
you tell as many people as you can.
There’s always the chance that one of your friends knows
about a suitable job opening, or that someone knows a guy
who knows a guy, etc.
By telling people what you need, you plug into a huge
computer loaded with all the relevant information your
friends have accumulated.
When you have a story to write, plug into that computer.
Talk about your story. Tell people your subject and your
particular slant.
7. Talk About What You’re Writing

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Organization is key. Organizing will help lock in
the logic of what you say, and it will speed the
writing process.
There is no one right way to organize material for
a paper. Some tips:
 Create a list of questions about your topic
before you begin research, and keep related
questions together.
8. Organize Your Material…Plan Well

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 Go to many different sources for answers—
even go to many sources for answers to a single
question.
 Gather much more material than you will use.
Just as high water pressure makes more water
flow faster, the greater weight of material you
have gathered will make the words flow faster.
8. Organize Your Material…Plan Well (Cont.)

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An outline is like a map or detailed instructions to
show the way “reaching the destination.”
An outline helps in generating ideas.
Arrange key facts, citations from the literature
before writing the first draft.
An outline will help in working out paragraphs
and sections.
9. Develop an Outline

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Write some key words for the subject
- you want to cover,
- the facts you want to point to,
- the questions you want to pose.
Glance at the list as you work. This will help you
decide what to write next.
Choose your words carefully.
10. Make a List of Key Words

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Another recommendation…
Anwar Masood explaining observation and effort
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W0JIe-e5ycg

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Use a simple form to write your sentences:
Subject – Verb – Object.
The natural word order of an English sentence is S-V-O.
This is how you first learned to write sentences, and it’s
still the best.
Keep subject, verb, and object close together. Use an
active writing style.
Verbs are the fuel of writing. Leading with subject and verb
in your writing creates what’s called a right-branching
sentence.
11. Begin Sentences with Subjects and Verbs

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When you put modifiers, phrases, or clauses between two or
all three of these essential parts, you make it harder for the
user to understand you.
Consider this long, convoluted sentence:
If any member of the board retires, the company, at the
discretion of the board, and after notice from the chairman of the
board to all the members of the board at least 30 days before
executing this option, may buy, and the retiring member must sell, the
member’s interest in the company.
In essence, the sentence says:
The company may buy a retiring member’s interest.
11. Begin Sentences with Subjects and Verbs

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12. Use Five Ws and 1 H
The Five Ws and 1 H are questions whose answers
are considered basic in information gathering or
problem solving.
A report can only be considered complete if it
answers these questions starting with an
interrogative word:
- Who was involved?
- What happened?
- Where did it take place?
- When did it take place?
- Why did that happen?
- How did it happen?

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12. Use Five Ws and 1 H (Cont.)
The why and how are the hardest to achieve.

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Do not try to write everything about your
subject. All subjects are inexhaustible.
If you try to write on every aspect
of your subject, you will ramble.
You will get lost in the writing, your wastebasket
will overflow, and you will become a crazy
person.
13. Find a Slant … Don’t Ramble

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Tie yourself to a specific idea about your subject,
some aspect that is manageable. That aspect is
called the slant.
Unslanted Idea:
 Programmable Logic Controllers (PLCs)
Slanted Idea:
 The History of Programmable Logic Controllers (PLCs)
 Programmable Logic Controllers (PLCs): workhorse of
industrial automation
13. Find a Slant … Don’t Ramble (Cont.)

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13. Find a Slant … Don’t Ramble (Cont.)
Everybody beats
his own drum!

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Many writers work their way into a paper, letter,
or story as if they were feeling their way into a
dark house.
They use the first few pages, and sometimes
considerably more, as a kind of writing warm-up.
There’s nothing wrong with writing three pages
of junk before you get to information that
matters, as long as those three pages are extinct
before the final draft.
14. Begin at the Beginning

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In other words, don’t include your warm-up
exercises with the manuscript.
Study the beginning of your story carefully. You
might discover that with the first 200 words you
are “getting around to telling the story.”
Look at the first sentence. Is it substantive? Is it
doing some work? Or is it merely background
information about what you haven’t quite begun
yet?
14. Begin at the Beginning (Cont.)

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Bad
I’m writing this memo because Javed Iqbal has left the
country, and I need to replace him quickly.
Better
Javed Iqbal has left the country, and I need to replace
him quickly.
Cross out every sentence until you come to one
you cannot do without. That is your beginning.
14. Begin at the Beginning (Cont.)

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Writing in the pyramid style means getting to the point
at the top, putting the oft-cited “5 Ws” of journalism:
Who, What, When, Where, and Why” in the first
paragraph, and developing the supporting information
under it.
Newspapers use this style because they are in the
business of getting facts to readers as quickly as possible
and because of the way news stories must be edited.
15. Use Inverted Pyramid Structure

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If an editor needs to cut an article, they can simply cut from
the bottom. Each inch of a pyramid-style story should be
less important than the inch that came before it.
People often read only the first lines of a
document or of each section of a document.
Start with the most important information so people don’t
miss it.
~A Plain Language Handbook: Write For your Reader. Nov. 2015.
15. Use Inverted Pyramid Structure (Cont.)

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Without Inverted Pyramid Construction
An accident occurred. It happened yesterday. Today is Tuesday.
The accident was a car accident. It happened in Murfreesboro
where Main Street and Broad Street intersect. One person was
killed. The person was John Frazier. He was 20 years old and lived
in Bhai Pheru at 212 Moore Court. He was driving a blue 1998
Ford Mustang. He was driving northwest on Broad Street at about
5 p.m. He lost control of the car. It was raining, and the road was
slick. He was also driving about 20 mph over the speed limit. He
was the only one in the car. The car smashed into a utility pole
along Broad Street. The impact crushed the whole front of the car.
Frazier was thrown through the car's windshield. He landed on the
pavement some 20 feet away. He wasn't wearing a seat belt. He
was killed instantly.

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With Inverted Pyramid Construction
To write an inverted-pyramid story from the facts, you
first would write a lead that summarizes the most
important information.
Here's one possibility:
A Bhai Pheru man died Monday afternoon when his car
spun out of control on rain-slickened Broad Street, crashed into a
utility pole and threw him through the windshield.

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~George D. Gopen and Judith A. Swan
The Science of Scientific Writing. 1990
“In our experience, the misplacement of
old and new information turns out to be
the No. 1 problem in American
professional writing today.”

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A topic sentence or focus sentence in a paragraph is a
sentence containing the thought that is developed
throughout the rest of the paragraph.
The topic sentence is commonly the first sentence in a
paragraph. And the topic position refers to the information
provided at the beginning of a sentence.
Deciding what to put in a paragraph and what to leave out
will be easier if you first write a topic sentence.
In the topic position the reader needs and expects context
and perspective.
https://www.springer.com/gp/authors-editors/authorandreviewertutorials/writinginenglish/topic-position/10252688
16. Use Topic Sentences

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Establish a context for your audience before you provide
them with the details. If you flood readers with details
first, they become impatient and may resist hearing your
message. A good topic sentence draws the audience into
your paragraph.
Original: First proposed more than 30 years ago, systems to harvest
utility-scale electrical power from ocean waves have recently been
gaining momentum as a viable technology.
Revised: Systems to harvest utility-scale electrical power from ocean
waves, first proposed more than 30 years ago, have recently been
gaining momentum as a viable technology.
Put in the topic position the old information that links
backward.
16. Use Topic Sentences (Cont.)

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For each paragraph ask, “What do I want to say here?
What point do I want to make? What question do I want
to present?” Answer with a single general sentence. That
is your topic sentence.
When you rewrite your early drafts, ask how each
sentence in a paragraph supports the topic sentence of
the paragraph.
If the answer is “It doesn’t,” then ask what other work
the sentence is doing in the paragraph. If the answer is
“None,” get rid of the sentence.
16. Use Topic Sentences (Cont.)

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Strunk and White’s The Element of Style advises the writer
“to place the emphatic words in a sentence at the end”
(p~32, 1999), an example of its own rule.
The most emphatic words in a
Sentence appears at the end.
The end of a sentence is perceived as the position of most
emphasis. Therefore, we refer to it as the stress position.
17. Put Emphatic Words at the End

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Emphatic words are those words you want the reader to
pay special attention to. They contain the information you
are most anxious to communicate.
- Some redwoods are more than 350 feet tall.
- Also found in California are the 350-foot redwood trees.
- Introduction of the new assembly line increased manufacturing.
- Manufacturing increased after the introduction of the new
assembly line.
The new, emphasis-worthy information appears in the
stress position.
17. Put Emphatic Words at the End (Cont.)

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In the stress position the reader needs and expects
closure and fulfillment.
According to Strunk and White, “The principle that the
proper place for what is to be made most prominent is
the end applies equally to the words of a sentence, to the
sentences of a paragraph, and to the paragraphs of a
composition.”
Hence the principle (not rule): Put in the stress position
the new information you want the reader to emphasize.
https://www.springer.com/gp/authors-editors/authorandreviewertutorials/writinginenglish/stress-position/10252690
17. Put Emphatic Words at the End (Cont.)

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A transition in writing is a word or group of words that
moves the reader from one place to another. The
“place” might be the location of a scene, a spot in time,
or an area of discussion.
Do not use transitions of subject:
On the other hand…
Despite all this…
Consequently…
One other type of common transition occurs without
words. It is the use of spaces, such as skipping lines,
starting new paragraphs/chapters, etc.
18. Don’t Use Transitional Phrases

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A bridge word is a word that is used in one paragraph and
then repeated in the following transition.
It shows you how the writer got from one thought to
another, thus supplying you with a smooth bridge between
thoughts.
“Let’s pick apples Saturday. My brother Larry and I used to
pick apples all the time. He lives in California.”
The word apples provides you with a bridge
across your friend’s thoughts, and you go
along easily.
Similarly, in your writing you can convince the reader of a
logical connection between subjects by using good bridge
words.
19. Use Bridge Words

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Wordiness has two meanings for the writer. You are
wordy when you are redundant, such as when you write,
“Last May during the spring,” or “little kittens,” or “very
unique.”
Wordiness for the writer also means using long words
when there are good short ones available, using
uncommon words when familiar ones are handy, using
words that look like the work of a Scrabble champion,
not a writer.
20. Avoid Wordiness

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An opinion piece ends when your opinion has been
expressed.
An instructional memo ends when the reader has been
instructed.
A novel ends when your hero has solved his problem.
When you have done what you came to do, stop.
Do not linger at the door saying good-bye sixteen times.
21. Stop Writing When You Get to the End

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Why Do I Stand Up Here - Lessons From Dead
Poets Society (1989)

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I never write Metropolis for seven cents
because I can get the same price for city. I
never write policeman because I can get
the same money for cop.
~ Mark Twain
(American Author and Humorist)

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Choose words with fewer (1or 2) syllables. We want a
lower character count.
Simple, short, clear words tend to be more powerful and
less pretentious than longer words.
22. Use Short Words (fewer syllables)
Mask is a powerful term; facial camouflage isn’t.
Stop is stronger than discontinue.
Send is better than transmit.
Use vs. Utilize.

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Use words that readers can easily and accurately
understand. Effective text features:
 Concrete words
 Pronounceable words
 Words that appear frequently in the language
 Words that readers are familiar with (the audience’s
vocabulary set).
Jan H Spyridakis. Guidelines for authoring comprehensible
Web pages and evaluating their success. 2000
http://www.webwritingthatworks.com/DGuideTrim1b.htm
22. Use Short Words (fewer syllables)

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A dense word is a word that crowds a lot of meaning into a
small space.
The fewer words you use to express an idea, the more
impact that idea will have.
When you revise, look for opportunities to cross out several
words and insert one.
Once a month is monthly; something new is novel;
people they didn’t know are strangers; and
something impossible to imagine is inconceivable.
Use Dense Words. Avoid Dense Writing
Use only as many words as you really need.
23. Use Dense Words … Avoid Dense Writing

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Do you know what a mandible is? Your dentist does. He
uses that word every day.
If you are writing a piece just for dentists, use mandible.
But if you are writing for everybody else, use the more
familiar word, jaw.
Familiar words have power. By avoiding very long words,
you avoid most of the words that your reader doesn’t
know.
Use words your readers are likely to understand.
Prefer plain words.
24. Use Familiar, Everyday Words

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But you should also replace short words if they are so rare
that your reader might not know them.
-At present the recessionary cycle is aggravating volumes through
your modern manufacturing and order processing environments
which provide restricted opportunities for cost reduction through
labor adjustments and will remain a key issue.
In such a haystack of verbiage, the needle of meaning has to be
searched for: Output and orders have fallen because of the recession.
But reorganizing the way your staff work will do little to cut costs.
Similarly
- We would anticipate being able to optimize the engine design from
an emissions point of view.
We can improve the engine design to reduce emissions.
24. Use Familiar, Everyday Words

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Even though delegate is longer than depute, it is better.
Don’t write sclerous if you can write hardened, and if
you have written that something is virescent, please go
back and say that it is turning green.
A Couple of Tips
 A word is familiar if it came easily to you but is not
part of some specialized knowledge you have, such as a
computer term.
 A word is unfamiliar if you never heard of it until you
found it in the thesaurus or if you haven’t read it at least
three times in the past year.
24. Use Familiar, Everyday Words (Cont.)

94
Active verbs do something. Inactive verbs are something.
You will gain power over readers if you change verbs of
being such as is, was, and will be to verbs of motion and
action.
Bad
A grandfather clock was in one corner, and three books were on top
of it.
Better
A grandfather clock towered in one corner, and three books lay on
top of it.
25. Use Active Verbs

95
In Pedagogy of the Oppressed, Brazilian educator Paulo
Freire argues that an oppressive educational system is
one in which:
- the teacher teaches and the students are taught;
- the teacher knows everything and the students know nothing;
- the teacher talks and the students listen -- meekly;
In an oppressive system the teacher is active and
students are passive.
Then our tools of thumb are:
 Active verbs move the action and reveal the actors.
 Passive verbs emphasize the receiver, the victim.
 To be verbs link words and ideas.
25. Use Active Verbs (Cont.)

96
Verbs, words of action, are the primary source of energy
in your sentences. They are the executives; they should
be in charge.
All other parts of speech are valuable assistants, but if
your verbs are weak, all the modifiers in the world won’t
save your story from dullness.
Generally speaking, verbs are weak when they are not
specific, not active, or are unnecessarily dependent on
adverbs for their meaning.
26. Use Strong Verbs

97
If you choose strong verbs and choose them wisely, they
will work harder for you than any other part of speech.
Strong verbs will reduce the number of words in your
sentences by eliminating many adverbs.
And, more important, strong verbs will pack your
paragraphs with the energy, the excitement, and the
sense of motion that readers crave.
Sharpen a verb’s meaning by being precise.
Turn look into stare, gaze, peer, peek, or gawk,
Turn throw into toss, flip, or hurl.
26. Use Strong Verbs (Cont.)

98
Good writing requires the use of strong nouns. A strong
noun is one that is precise and densely packed with
information.
Be on the lookout for adjectives that are doing work that
could be done by the noun. Adjectives do for nouns
what adverbs do for verbs; i.e., they identify some
distinctive feature.
Before you write a noun that is modified by one or two
adjectives, ask yourself if there is a noun that can convey
the same information.
27. Use Specific Nouns

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Nouns add substance and direction. Specific nouns have
power.
Instead of writing about a black dog, maybe you want to write
about a Doberman.
Do you want to write large house, or is mansion really to the
point?
And before putting down cruel treatment, ask if you can make a
greater impression on the reader with savagery, barbarity, or
brutality.
27. Use Specific Nouns (Cont.)

100
When you take out a general word and put in a specific
one, you usually improve your writing. But when you use
a specific word, readers assume you are trying to tell
them something, so make sure you choose the specific
word that delivers the message you want delivered.
27. Use Specific Nouns (Cont.)

101
Prefer the specific to the general, the definite to the
vague, the concrete to the abstract.
Choosing generic, overly broad, noncommittal words is a
very common mistake of writers at all levels.
Replacing vague words with specific ones is an efficient
way to make sentences vivid.
28. Use Concrete Words … Avoid Abstract Words
Better
She has big, brown eyes.
It rained everyday for a week.
Bad
She has beautiful eyes.
A period of unfavorable
weather set in.

102
Writing is about making choices. So pinpointing and
removing vague words will give you more choice and
more power to construct the best sentences for your
Reader.
Caution: -
Not every sentence needs to be packed with details and
descriptors.
28. Use Concrete Words … Avoid Abstract Words (Cont.)

Abstract, Ambiguous, Vague Words
Absolutely
Very
Good
Sufficiently
Holistically
Adequately
103
Important

104
When a verb is in the active voice, the subject of the
sentence is also the doer of the action, or
 If the subject performs the action of the verb, we call the verb
active. John picked up the bag.
 If the subject receives the action of the verb, we call the verb
passive. The bag was picked up by John.
 A verb that is neither active nor passive is a linking verb, a form
of the verb to be.
The active voice is usually more direct and vigorous than
the passive.
29. Use the Active Voice ... Most of the Time

105
Generally the active voice makes for more interesting
reading, and it is the active voice that you should cultivate
as your normal writing habit.
The active voice strikes more directly at the thought you
want to express, it is generally shorter, and it holds the
reader closer to what you write because it creates a
stronger sense that “something is happening.”
The habitual use of the active voice, hence,
makes for forcible writing. And, brevity is a
by-product of vigor.

106
The need to make a particular word the subject of the
sentence will often determine which voice should be used.
Try to use the active voice. But realize that there are times
when you will need to use the passive. If the object of the
action is the important thing, then you will want to
emphasize it by mentioning it first. When that’s the case,
you will use the passive voice.
This suggestion does not mean that the writer should
entirely discard the passive voice, which is frequently
convenient and sometimes necessary.

107
In his essay “Politics and the English Language” English
novelist, essayist, and journalist, George Orwell describes
the relationship between language abuse and political
exploitation, how corrupt leaders use the passive voice to
obscure unspeakable truths and shroud responsibilities of
their actions.
They say, “It must be admitted, now that the report has been
reviewed, that mistakes were made,” rather than, “I read the report,
and I admit I made a mistake.”
A life tool: Always apologize in the active voice.

108
Use a positive tone to engage people.
If you want your reader to experience the silence of a church at
night, write “The church was silent.”
If you write “There was no noise in the church,” the first thing your
reader will hear is the noise that isn’t there.
30. Say Things in a Positive Tone…Most of the Time
Good
Mr. X is not honest.
The door was not closed.
This insurance will not cost us
any money.
She was not often right.
Better
Mr. X is dishonest.
The door was open.
This insurance is free to us.
She was usually wrong.

109
Certainly, there are times when the negative
statement should be used.
If it’s ten o’clock on a stormy night and your wife was due
home at six, you won’t call your brother and state the
positive: “She is out.” You’ll emphasize the negative:
“She is not home yet.”
Use a negative tone to:
 indicate danger,
 warn people, or
 dispel a myth.
30. Say Things in a Positive Tone…Most of the Time

110
A specific word or phrase is usually better than a general
one.
The specific word etches a sharper picture and helps
your reader to see what you are describing.
 Picture a box.
 Now picture a black box.
 Now picture a black box with shiny silver hinges.
You can see the box more clearly as it becomes more
specific.
31. Be Specific

111
Obviously, there must be a limit to this.
I could tell you about a small black box with shiny silver hinges on
one end and an inlaid marble top which has a crimson heart
painted on it with the most darling cupids dancing around the
heart, and so forth. You would see the box, but you would be
bored by it and by me.
Try to be specific without being wordy. Don’t make a
sentence specific by hooking up a freight train of details
to it.
Make it specific by carving out all the possible word
combinations down to those few that say what you want
them to say.
31. Be Specific (Cont.)

112
John Keating explains the dangers of conformity
in Dead Poets Society (1989)

115
A few well-placed statistics
will establish your credibility.
If they are accurate and comprehensible, they will show
the reader that you have done your homework and
know what you are talking about.
Keep in mind, however, that too many statistics will
numb your reader’s ability to draw meaning from them.
Statistics should be sprinkled like pepper, not smeared
like butter.
32. Use Statistics

116
Repetition works in writing. Writers may choose to repeat
words or phrases for emphasis or rhythm.
Repeating key words or phrases creates a rhythm, a pace,
and structure that reinforces the theme of the piece.
Repetition is so powerful that it can overshadow the
message of the article.
Apply this test: Read Your Work Out Loud. Your voice and
ear will let you know when you’ve gone too far.
33. Give Key Words their Space

117
In order to write successfully, you don’t have to become
a great writer. But you do have to make yourself likable.
Write clearly and conversationally, and strive always to
present in your writing some honest picture of who you
are.
Readers will like you if you edit from your work French
phrases, obscure literary allusions, and archaic words
that are known to only six persons in the world.
34. Make Yourself Likable

118
Readers will like you if you use humor in almost
everything you write.
Certainly, humor is inappropriate on a death certificate,
for instance, but don’t hesitate to bring humor into your
business correspondence and articles.
Readers will like you if you show that
you are human.
In a how-to piece, e.g., you might write, “This third step is a
little hard to master. I ruined six good slides before I got it right. So
be smarter than I was; practice on blanks.”
34. Make Yourself Likable (Cont.)

119
― Kurt Vonnegut
US Writer
“The most damning revelation you
can make about yourself is that you
do not know what is interesting and
what is not.”

120
Few things are duller than a man or woman without an
opinion.
Your opinion is not always appropriate, but often it is the
thing that gives writing its life and color.
In fact, it is frequently dishonest to hide your opinion
because it will find its way into your writing anyhow by
influencing your choice of what material to include and
what to ignore.
35. Show Your Opinion

Anchorperson Naeem Bokhari explaining a
thesis.

122
By including my opinion in the article, I give the reader a
basis for discussion, either with other people or in his
own mind.
Even if the reader says, “I totally disagree,” I have made
him or her think about my subject.
I have accomplished my goal. I don’t care if the reader
agrees with my opinion.
The important thing is that he or she respond to it. If you
can stir your reader up, then your writing has achieved
some success.
35. Show Your Opinion (Cont.)

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