The traditions and routines of Christmas are what makes it great. But they're also what makes it so hard for so many.

1. The tradition trap:
Give the gift of empathy
this Christmas

2. Christmas is an
especially painful
time for those
suffering grief
Christmas presents a whole new set of
struggles for grieving individuals, as
they’re drawn back to traditions and
routines their loved ones helped to build
Using AI-fuelled natural language processing,
and human translation, we analysed mass
data with nuance and emotion.
With a total of 77,851 posts about
bereavement, from forums, comment
threads and social media, we were able to
understand how grief affects different
groups, and how they attempt to deal with it.
We then looked more deeply into how the
Christmas period affects those who are
grieving, comparing the adjectives, verbs,
and nouns used during December with the
rest of the year.

3. Comparing bereavement conversations at Christmas
to the rest of the year showed a stark difference in
the experience of grieving
R E S T O F Y E A R
“time of
year”
“Holiday
season”
“Want to
be happy”
D E C E M B E R
“Christmas
just”
“good
memories”
“Family
member”
“New
things”
“Social
life” “Think
people”
“Thinking of
going”
“New
people”
The comparison demonstrates how important the context of time and space is for those who have lost loved ones

4. During the rest of the year, people focus on new
relationships and activities to help them alter their
lifestyles, and move on from grief
Forming new relationships and
keeping busy with new activities -
such as sports clubs or
community projects - is one of
the most important ways people
cope with the loss of loved one.
This is something that is less easy
to do at Christmas time, since
most people are spending time
with their family.
mentions of the word “new” in the
bereavement conversations analysed
R E S T O F Y E A R
“New
things”
“Social
life” “Think
people”
“Thinking of
going”
“New
people”

5. “Friends, distractions, new interests or old
ones revisited - I think that's what the future is
about. To start with it feels to me like forced
enjoyment, but a friend said to me 'one day,
you'll realise that you're not forcing it any
more, you are just happier again, even if it is
different”
B E R E A V E M E N T F O R U M A N A L Y S I S

6. Even for those who’ve been making
progress in accepting and moving on,
Christmas time can bring back a
returning tide of grief:
Family time - Christmas is about
spending time with family and closest
friends, so if you have lost a sister or
husband or best friend, this becomes
incredibly difficult.
Traditions – part of the culture of
Christmas is doing the same thing every
year, something that makes the absence
of a loved one even more keenly felt.
But Christmas time forces us to contemplate old
memories and traditions
“time of
year”
“Holiday
season”
“Want to
be happy”
D E C E M B E R
“Christmas
just”
“good
memories”
“Family
member”

7. “I feel like I should be able to think about the
positive things, the things we shared together,
how lucky I was to have good parents. Instead I
just feel lost. It's so bad at Christmas time, each
year since she died I have had a major meltdown
at Christmas. She made it such a special time.”
B E R E A V E M E N T F O R U M A N A L Y S I S
“We only had 14 years together. There's no
one else who shares the memories of the
traditions we had built together and that
hurts.”
B E R E A V E M E N T F O R U M A N A L Y S I S

8. This tradition trap makes Christmas an incredibly
difficult time for those who’ve lost loved ones
All these factors – the
memories, the inability to
need to return to old
traditions and old ways of
living - combine to make
Christmas an incredibly
difficult time for so many
people.
“TIME”
of December bereavement
conversation mentions the word “time”

9. “ deep down it is the most difficult time for us
when we do not share this period with our
beloved love ones, However I do believe that
as we think and talk to them they are thinking
us here without by our side to keep us going.”
B E R E A V E M E N T F O R U M A N A L Y S I S

10. For those who have lost loved ones, the traditions and happy
memories of the festive period can sometimes remind us more
sharply of their absence.
So at a time of great happiness for many, a little empathy can
go a long way to help, and perhaps begin to create new
traditions.
Being mindful at Christmas
To find out more, get in touch via hello@humantheory.co.uk