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I
n her book Foreign to Familiar, Sarah Lani-
er explores the history of culture, believing
that every culture can broadly fall into one of
two categories: it’s either a “hot climate” or “cold
climate” culture. The primary difference between
the two, as Lanier sees it, is that hot climate cul-
tures are generally more relationship-based, and
cold climate cultures tend to be more task-orient-
ed. The reason for these distinctions is found in
the actual regional climate. Historically speaking,
hot climate cultures exist in areas that are more
likely to have agriculturally based economies—
living off the land. This means more interdepen-
dence on neighbors, and a higher premium on
relationships. Of course, this does not reflect the
economy of the South today, but the sentiment is
still very much the same.
It was only five years ago that I was introduced
to this idea of our southern customs being born
out of functionality. However, as I have since re-
flected on memories with my family, particular-
ly those surrounding the holidays, I am struck
by how accurate this theory really is. Year after
year, we seem to have unknowingly, effortlessly,
honored our heritage, carrying it with us wher-
ever we go. For us, there are no holiday season
habits or rituals; our relationship—our fami-
ly—is the only tradition we hold.
I am from a military family; change was re-
ally our only constant. By the time I started
college, I had lived on three continents, been
to six different schools, and hadn’t lived in the
States in over a decade. Relatives didn’t live
close by. There wasn’t “a” house in which my
siblings and I grew up. Rather, my parents
treated “home” as just another word for “being
together,” and the holidays became an oppor-
tunity for adventure. One Thanksgiving, this
meant enjoying a pot-luck style dinner with
great friends, in a military base building that
we later learned had been condemned. Or a
Christmas before that, involved hitting the
ski slopes in the afternoon, and then going
to give some home-cooked treats to the gate
guards at the base, who would likely remain at
their posts through the night. Once or twice,
our general lack of convention would result in
sudden desires to try out the local holiday tra-
ditions instead, for a change. And this coming
Christmas is sure to bring the same promise of
playful delight, as we’ll all venture to spend a
week in an RV in Utah together.
While these memories of holidays past may
seem disconnected and chaotic, this is what
I associate with a typical Christmas at home.
We will probably never celebrate the same way
twice. But our core focus is on family—and ex-
periences that strengthen those relationships.
My parents imparted to me our cultural legacy
of valuing people over tasks; and that practice
started in our own home as part of our own cus-
toms. Although I left the South at a young age,
and only recently returned, I am so proud to be a
part of a heritage that says no matter where you
are and no matter what time of year it is, family
is the most important tradition.
words by Alex Merrill
photos courtesy of The Merrill Family
LeftPage:The author and her
familyinPiancavallo,Italy(2002)

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Clockwise from Top Left: View of the Italian Dolomites from the Merrill home (2001), Author at age 3 (Christmas 1993), One of the many makeshift holiday celebrations with new friends (2003)