Leila has become the new caretaker at the Jack Point Home for Pedestrian Playables, an asylum for individuals with psychological differences. She is given a tour of the facility and residents by Dr. Ivanova, though it is revealed that Ivanova is also a resident and not a real doctor. Leila struggles to manage the eccentric residents, which include Ernie the Spoon who is obsessed with cheese, Joe Grundstrom who believes he is in a game, and Jeffina Twain who thinks she is a robot. Chaos ensues as Leila learns her new duties, with residents singing, dancing, and clogging the bathroom. Leila hopes to improve conditions at the asylum but has her work cut out for her

1. Hi everybody! (waves enthusiastically) Welcome to my attempt at
an Asylum Challenge, The Jack Point Home for Pedestrian
Playables!
I have ended up with a bunch of extra playables over the course of
the past year, and although I don’t want to actually play them, I
also don’t want to let them just languish in the Sim Bin. I’ve been
toying with playing an asylum challenge for a while, and I thought
“Why not combine the two things?”
Jack Point is a spin-off from Ruth’s (un)Officially Wacky Boolprop
Challenge, but you don’t have to read that if you don’t want to. I’ll
tell you everything you need to know right now.

2. Once upon a time, the heir to my Officially Wacky Boolprop
Challenge, Old Adam, had twin girls.
Well, his wife did, actually, but you know what I mean.
The older was named Leila, after a fairy from Iolanthe (an opera by
Gilbert & Sullivan) and the younger was named Lisa, after a
professional flirt from The Grand Duke (another opera by Gilbert
& Sullivan).

3. The girls were happy and loved, and although neither one of them
was actually Nice, they got along very well.
Leila, on the left, became obsessed with fairies and announced her
intention to become a fairy when she grew up. This was greeted
with everything from skepticism through derision, although Leila
was firm in pointing out that Titania Summerdream of Veronaville
was a real live fairy, so there!
Lisa won the heir poll, beating not only Leila but also younger
sisters Phoebe and Rose, who were also named for Gilbert &
Sullivan characters.

4. While in college, Leila won a contest and got to meet Titania
Summerdream live and in person.
As it turned out, Ms. Summerdream is a half-Vulcan performance
artist engaged in a long-term piece about the fickle and corrupting
nature of fame.
Not a fairy.
Leila was crushed.

5. She promptly abandoned the “Titania Summerdream” look, but
attempted to continue the “fairy” theme, more out of stubbornness
than anything else.
Then she heard about a surgery that will implant actual wings,
tying them into the nervous system to allow them to flap a little.
Some people who get the surgery also opt for metabolic treatments
that allow them to subsist entirely on moonbeams and dew,
creating a reasonable facsimile of a fairy. Both treatments are still
fairly experimental, and neither is cheap, but that’s not about to
stop Leila.

6. Leila promptly applied for a job that promised a fat salary.
INTERVIEWER: Hmmm. Well, I have to admit that we don’t have
many applicants for this position, and most of the people we hire
don’t stay very long.
LEILA: I’ll stick around. Really I will! I’m very dedicated. Very
focused.
INTERVIEWER: And you actually are interested in the post?
LEILA: Absolutely! (under her breath) And the salary attached to
it.
INTERVIEWER: What was that?
LEILA: I’m very interested, sir!

7. Of course, beggars can’t be choosers.
LEILA: I did? Really? Oh, thank you thank you thank you! You
won’t regret this, sir, I swear! (hangs up, then jumps up and down)
Squeeeeeeee! I got it! I got it! I got the job!

8. Which is how Leila became the resident caretaker at the Jack Point
Home for Pedestrian Playables.
Be careful what you ask for -- you just might get it.

9. IVANOVA: You must be the new caretaker. I’m Dr. Ivanova.
LEILA: Hi, Dr. Ivanova. It’s nice to meet you. Are you in charge
of the inmates?
IVANOVA (disapprovingly): We call them “residents.” And
you’re in charge, not me. That’s what you were hired for.
LEILA: Oh, I’m sorry! I --
IVANOVA: No matter. I’d better introduce you around and give
you the tour.

10. LEILA: Hey, isn’t that Jay Cormier? He used to perform with my
sister. What’s he doing here?
IVANONA: I don’t know what Mr. Cormier did prior to joining us
here. I believe that when he arrived, he was in a catatonic state, but
he has recovered quite nicely. He has an NOS communication
disorder now, but we are hopeful.
LEILA: An NOS…?
IVANOVA: He only speaks in song lyrics, and we can’t figure out
what he means.
Jay used to be the accompanist for Leila’s sister Lisa’s cabaret act. However,
once she married, he had a nervous breakdown. Blame W. S. Gilbert, not me.
Jay is Family.

11. IVANOVA: That one is Ernie the Spoon.
LEILA: The gangster?
IVANOVA: He was. But while he was in prison, he had a break
and now is both obsessive and tupiphiliac.
LEILA: Which means…?
IVANOVA: He’s an extremely enthusiastic Cheesist.
A “Cheesist” is someone who worships grilled cheese. I didn’t invent the
“religion,” and I know very little about the original creation. Ernie the Spoon is
Grilled Cheese, of course.

12. IVANOVA: The one in the pink gorilla suit is Joe Grundstrom. He
has megalomania and delusions of reference.
LEILA: What does that mean?
IVANOVA: He says that he’s here as part of a game, and that if he
keeps all of us alive and well until he achieves some specific goal,
then he wins.
LEILA: What goal?
IVANOVA: I have no idea.
Joe is here because he was a jerk to every girl for whom he was a matchmaker
drop, and he didn’t have the good sense to die when locked in with a cowplant.
Obviously he’s a voluntary admit. Joe is Knowledge.

13. IVANOVA: The one in jumping in the puddles is Milton Rossi.
Ex-military; classic example of paranoia.
LEILA: Is that safe? I mean, if he’s paranoid and military-trained,
doesn’t that make him dangerous?
Milton was created as a genetic donor for grandchildren to appear in one
picture of Snap!, which was started for a photo contest on Boolprop, but which
I ended up finishing myself. That purpose accomplished, I thought he’d fit in
nicely here. Milton is Pleasure.

14. IVANOVA (much affronted): My dear girl, I hope you are not
implying that I would allow any unsafe conditions to exist here at
Jack Point! The very definition of “asylum” precludes it! You
certainly have a lot to learn about managing a residential facility
for people with psychological differences!
LEILA: I’m sorry.
IVANOVA (magnanimously): There now, we won’t mention it
again.

15. IVANOVA: Over there is Jeffina Twain. Her diagnosis is reverse
Capgras syndrome.
LEILA: Er…
IVANOVA: In normal Capgras, the affected person thinks that
everyone around them is an imposter, a clone or robot or
replacement of the real person. Jeffina thinks that she is the robot.
Jeffina was created specifically to find the perfect partner for Leila’s sister Lisa
using the Find-A-Mate Crystal Ball from TwoJeffs, so there is an actual basis
for her psychosis. (I couldn’t just wait until Lisa hit college due to set up
needed for Plot.) Jeffina began as Family, but is now Popularity.

16. IVANOVA: And Jeffina is playing with Flutterby.
LEILA: What’s wrong with Flutterby?
IVANOVA (surprised): Nothing. She’s a perfectly ordinary cat.
Flutterby is perfectly sane, for a cat. I was just one inmate short and thought
that a pet would be fun, since I can’t control anyone anyway. Her coloring and
name come from the butterfly on Jack Point’s tunics in all the paintings.
Flutterby is World Domination, just like all other cats ever.

17. IVANOVA (V.O.): This is the front hall. Through the arch to the
right there is the kitchen.
LEILA (V.O.): Why is there a piano in the kitchen?
IVANOVA (V.O.) (witheringly): And where, pray tell, would you
rather have it? Now, we are in the game room, and your room is
around this way, next to the bathroom.
LEILA (V.O.): It’s very light and airy!
IVANOVA: Of course it is. We’re very modern. People with
psychological differences haven’t been chained to the wall and
poked with sticks for years.

18. IVANONVA (V.O.): Upstairs, we have the lounge. Note that
Flutterby’s food dish is up here, please.
LEILA (V.O.): Where is her litterbox?
IVANOVA: Ha ha ha. How amusing. Through here is the
bathroom, and that connects through to the dormitory. The
dormitory, as you see, connects back to the lounge. Any questions?
LEILA (V.O.): The dorm is unisex?
IVANOVA (V.O.): The dormitory is for both men and women,
yes. Now, I recommend that you go do something about the
residents outside. Lack of common sense is a symptom of autism
spectrum disorders, you know, and not one of them has the sense to
come in out of the rain.

19. That’s not entirely true, actually. Joe Grundstrom was the first one
inside out of the rain.
I hope this is not a forerunner of his survival ability. He was nasty
to two of my playable girls!

20. Once Joe figured out where the front door was, everyone else
followed his lead. To my surprise, the first person to the piano was
not Jay, but Ernie the Spoon.
ERNIE THE SPOON: (pounds random keys on the piano that bear
no relationship to what he is singing -- which itself is only
recognizable by the lyrics) “Cheese! Cheese! Cheese! Wonderful
cheese! Bees don’t like cheese, but I love cheese!”*
*“The Cheese Song,” by Bubboon’s Tunes, from the album Songs to Blather
By.

21. ABHIJEET FUCHS, VULCAN: Oh, you must be the new
caretaker, huh? Well, best of luck to you.
LEILA: I don’t think it will be so bad, really. I mean, Dr. Ivanova
is here to help.
ABHIJEET: “Dr. Ivanova”? Ohhhh, you mean Ivanova Doctor? I
went to high school with her. She’s loopy.
LEILA (faintly): Loopy?
ABHIJEET: Always slapping wacky diagnoses on people and
coming up with these bizarro treatments. Do you know, she told
me I had gender dysphoria? Just because I wear makeup!

22. LEILA (V.O.) (weakly): So she’s not a medical doctor?
ABHIJEET (V.O.): Nope, just an inmate.
LEILA (V.O.): We call them “residents.” Er, won’t you come in?
ABHIJEET (V.O.): Don’t mind if I do. Thanks.
This is an invitation that Leila may well regret issuing, since she
still doesn’t have a grasp of her duties.
Ivanova was actually created specifically for the asylum, since I thought it
would be a funny introduction. Ivanova is Romance.

23. LEILA: Oh my Esme! What’s going on? Why didn’t you get the
TV dinner?
JOE: Make him stop! That’s the most Esme-awful racket I’ve ever
heard in my life!
IVANOVA: He’s obviously got aural difficulties and severe
narcissistic tendencies. I recommend shock treatment.
ERNIE THE SPOON (extra loudly, to drown out the unbelievers):
“Gorgonzola! Gorgonzola! Gorgonzola! The cheese that’s good for
your soul-a! It makes me say ‘Holy Mol-a’! Gorgonzola!”*
*“The Cheese Song,” by Bubboon’s Tunes, from the album Songs to Blather
By.

24. While Leila rescued the TV dinner, Flutterby decided to attack the
one comfortable chair downstairs.

25. The chair lost.

26. The Welcome Wagon showed up about then, and Leila greeted
them before hurrying off to replace the chair. Jay took over hosting
duties, making sandwiches for all.
The visitors seemed more interested in the dinner theater.
ERNIE THE SPOON: “Mozzarella! Mozzarella! Mozzarella!”*
*“The Cheese Song,” by Bubboon’s Tunes, from the album Songs to Blather
By.

27. Milton took the initiative to fill Flutterby’s food bowl, and then
started to play with her.
MILTON: Atta girl, Flutterby! Disembowl that little birdie! I can’t
get at the tracking device inside it.

28. Joe and Jeffina spent several hours in the upstairs bathroom doing
the stompy-wave. I couldn’t figure out why.
After about Hour Four, several other folks joined them, doing the
stompy-wave in unison. I still couldn’t figure out why.

29. After about Hour Six, most of the other inmates -- sorry, most of
the other residents -- gave up and went away for a while. Joe,
however, is persistent.
JOE: Hello?! I need to take a bath now! You have no idea how
much you sweat inside one of these things! And it smells like
cheese!
Gee, Joe, that’s too bad. Not!

30. At least some of the, er, residents left the bathroom for the
attractions of a big plate of rotten grilled cheese sandwiches. I’m
not sure when Ernie the Spoon made them, but he had to have
done: nobody else in the asylum has any cooking points.

31. Eventually, I figured out that when I remodeled the house, I put the
tub in backwards, which renders it unusable. I went into Build
Mode and fixed it, which I consider to be fixing a glitch rather than
cheating.
In this picture, you can see that there were a number of people who
had returned to the stompy-wave brigade by the time I figured it
out.

32. The man in the funky white suit is not an inm -- a resident. He
came in the Welcome Wagon, and is the head of the local chapter
of the Most Logical Brotherhood of the Telescope, a group of men
devoted to being abducted and impregnated by aliens as many
times as humanly possible. This is a perfectly sane ambition.
Members of the Brotherhood would like it to be known that they
are not monks.

33. After the tub was reoriented, it broke.
Or at least I think it broke. Theoretically, that could be Ernie the
Spoon’s pee puddle that Dr. Ivanova is mopping up. But you don’t
accuse a notorious criminal of wetting his pants if you like keeping
your internal organs on the inside. Even if he has discovered the
joys of Cheese.

34. That means that the first confirmed pee puddle of the game comes
from Flutterby, who made good use of the lounge floor and then
attacked the couch.
The couch was able to hold its own, perhaps because it has backup
in the form of someone sitting on the couch. I don’t think furniture
can be scratched to bits if someone’s on it.

35. Leila decided to keep people away from the stove by serving a
meal in the evening. She can just about manage mac & cheese
now, and to be honest she couldn’t have done much better before
the asylum.

36. This didn’t stop the other members of the household from cooking,
mind. As you can see, Joe managed to get a bath in.
I have MogHughson’s “Dress Me Properly” hack, which means
that Sims will change into Everyday, Pajamas, or Work/School
clothing after bathing depending on time of day, the day of the
week, and the age of the Sim. I find it convenient, and since it’s
cosmetic only, I think it’s okay to leave it in for the asylum.

37. As everyone knows, there are limited sleeping surfaces in an
asylum, and I didn’t want to use one of them up with a bed that
only one resident could use, so there are no pet beds in the Jack
Point Home for Pedestrian Playables.
Flutterby doesn’t have any particular problem with this, since
Leila’s bed is pretty comfy.

38. Since I consider shooing her off the bed to be the same as moving a
loud appliance into the room to wake up someone using the bed I
want, Leila ended up sleeping in the dormitory.

39. Can you really blame her for looking for a better situation?
She’s a Mailroom Technician now, but she hasn’t quit her current
job. Free room and board are not to be sneezed at.
Which seems like a good place to stop for now.

40. Score
Base score: 100
Minus number of days in the asylum: -1
Total: 99
Running totals
Fires: 0
Potty accidents: 1
Sponge baths: 0
Aspiration failures: 0
Shrink visits: 0
Pass outs from exhaustion: 0
Deaths: 0

41. Notes from esmeiolanthe
Leila’s LTW is Become A Business Tycoon. Since her being a
playable with enough skills to graduate would give her an unfair
advantage, I used the boolprop cheat to remove not only her skills,
but those of everyone else in the household.
Because being friends with your family doesn’t count for
promotion at work, I have allowed Leila to maintain her
relationships with all her relatives. I did, however, use the boolprop
cheat to change all other relationships anyone in the household had
to 0/0. I believe this actually gives them slightly worse
relationships with each other than they would have fresh out of
CAS.

42. I admit to controlling the inmates for just long enough to pick out
fun new outfits and hairdos for them.
Additionally, since I have a Mac and can’t select Grilled Cheese as
an aspiration, I had to make Mr. the Spoon use the aspiration
changer.
I used the Sim Blender to randomize their personalities, since some
of them were too similar and that would have made everyone get
along nicely. I also used the Sim Blender to make them all bi, just
for fun. After all, what’s an asylum without fights and inappropriate
heartfarting?

43. “Jack Point” is also a character from a Gilbert & Sullivan opera, a
jester who watches the woman he loves marry another man and
then “falls insensible”* at their feet. Since Leila and Jay were both
involved in Plot based on this opera during college, I thought it
was only fair to name the asylum after Mr. Point, and he graces the
cover picture.
I hope you will join me next time, when the asylum gets started in
earnest. Until then, Happy Simming!
* W. S. Gilbert, The Yeomen of The Guard, act 2, scene 10. Available from
http://math.boisestate.edu/GaS/yeomen/web_opera/yeomen_22.html; accessed 9 January 2012