RECENT RUMORS FROM THE WHITE HOUSE will fall with welcome on the ears of Oregon's "agricultural" community (U.S. Department of Forestry is in the USDA !!) throughout the state, especially in Southern Oregon'd mostly mountainous counties like Jackson, Josephine, Coos, Curry and Douglas, where, along with mining, logging has always been the economic bedrock that kept county services viable. AT SYM-ZONIA, we the remnant followers of Michael C. Goldengate (ska "Stargate") and Stephanie Beckon herself, which to commemorate the occasion of the possible pending return of protectionism for domestic manufactures and serious industry, with the re-release of this stupendous "DRAIN" issue, and its discussion of the extraordinary history of BOHEMIA COUNTY, Oregon which had its proposed county seat in the town of DRAIN, itself -- with a key contribution form Ass Dr. Beckon herself, addressing teh question of whether Drain, Oregon isn't in fact the location of the REAL Oregon Vortex. NOTE: THIS ISSUE IS IN FOLLOWUP to the August 19, 2012 "WATERSHED MOMENT" ISSUE, which will appear later.

1. SMITH HUBBARD & TICHENOR
GOLDENGATE’S
for September 2, 2012
DRAIN
WHO WAS BEHIND … BOHEMIA COUNTY
(Oregon)? ….
and WHERE WAS IT’S COUNTY SEAT ?
with
But first … !!!

2. IN THE NEWS …
Hello, Players!!
Let’s pick up right where we left off -- last week!!
AS ALL PLAYERS and CAREFUL READERS
of SYM-Zonia™ may recall: JUST LAST WEEK (!)
I was distracted from our meticulous and ongoing
investigation into the Perplexing Plats of the Umpqua
River Watershed, and the mysterious almost lost works
of the cartographical mastermind known only as the
“Bartleby” of Umpqua Basin – aka “The B.O.U.B.” –
by news of WILDFIRES breaking out in Shasta County
(California), near Shingletown: a fire which was spread
rapidly in the aridity of August by sustained winds, and
spread through the pines and underbrush of the low
Sierras, until it crossed into Tehama County, nearing
Manton, and then near Ponderosa (California) – for
which it was then named … aka, the PONDEROSA FIRE!! And then … it moved further south, and seemed to
threaten the very legacy of old California pioneer Peter Lassen, who broke the Lassen Emigrant Trail, and to threaten
ALSO the terminus of the Lassen trail, in T. 25 N. R. 2 W. M.D.M. – which, as it turns… was, just incidentally, the
VERY ANSWER to an entire series of P.Y.M. ™ Puzzlers and the solution to some recent S.Y.M.-Zonias’ ™ as
well!! (Remember the Charles Glass Gray “Strip Map”? And the note from Cartagena Astor Isk? )
BUT THEN! After that issue was sent to the printers … then, the fire was heavily engaged by fire crews from
California, Oregon, Nevada and other western states, and driven up the Battle Creek Canyon, in Tehama Conty, where
it was controlled, and extinguished, before it could do much more than smoke the laundry hanging out to dry, of the good
townspeople of Mineral, California. HOWEVER -- at the same time, smoke from the fire was carried OVER the
Sierras, and, inter alia through Fredonyer’s and Noble’s passes, thence down the Susan River valley into the vicinity of
Honey Lake , from whence it drifted over and into the Smoke Creek Desert – threatening to suffocate the activities of the
culturally all-critical Burning Man Festival …. And incidentally, suggesting -- perhaps -- that there was a more direct
route from Black Rock (Nevada), to Lassen’s, in Tehama County – there, in T. 25 N. R. 2. W., M.D.M., on the banks
of the Sacramento River … that is: a better route of transiting the Sierras, than via that same Lassen Trail that good ol’
Peter Lassen had picked out himself, and over which he had guided numerous wagon trains of American settlers, etc.
[But’s that’s another S.Y.M.-Zonia™ ! – Ed.]
MEANWHILE, in an eerie parallel of this impending crisis [The fire -- Ed. ] Hurricane Isaac began bearing down on
Tampa (Florida) where the Republican National Convention – the direct counterpart to Burning Man!! -- was
scheduled to open the same day! Monday, August 27 … WOWeeee! HOW Weeeeird!!
AND THAT, Players, is where we left matters LAST WEEK, on the last page of the SMOKE SIGNALS issue, as
smoke from the PONDEROSA FIRE threatened to choke out the carefully orchestrated activities of the BURNING
MAN FESTIVAL in the Smoke Creek Desert, near Reynard, (Nevada), on the one hand; and on the other hand, of an
event of precisely PARALLEL nonpareil importance – viz., or to wit: the Republican National Convention which was
scheduled to open the SAME DAY!! in Tampa (Florida) Good gracious!! How could such a thing happen. Kismet – the
Hand of Providence –was at work. The Furies!!! Like the Norns – the Norns on EPO -- pumping the treadles of their
Spinning Wheels, spinning out the threads of fate. Like Rumplestilskin.
AND FINALLY, as you all know, and as events unfolded last week, Hurricane Isaac veered west, sparing the RNC!!
And, at the same moment -- offset a few hours , give-or-take, to allow for the difference in time-zone -- the winds
shifted over northern California, sending the smoke from the Tehama County fires, northward into Southern
Oregon!!! And so into S.Y.M.-Zonia™ -- And the Burning Man Festival was likewise spared !!!! <Phew!>
And so, let’s get back to business. Yes …

3. The B.O.U.B. is Back !!
So – well, not only did we run out of
time – there, in the WATERSHED
MOMENT number of August 19 -- but
also our of space, to deal with any real
amplitude in the works of the so-called
“Bartleby” Of Umpqua Basin, or the
B.O.U.B..
But now, the crises seem to have been
diverted, the threat successfully counter-
steered by favorable winds on both
coasts, and things settling back to
normal, it’s time to get back to the
B.O.U.B. – but we also left unfinished
last week, in what was to have been the
GUMPTION issue. the matter of
Bohemia County (Oregon) and the
hanging questions, of who was behind
it’s formation, and what town was chosen
to be it’s County Seat ?
NOW BEAR WITH ME PLAYERS:
because, I’m still trying to work this out
in my own head. Because we have a bit
of a conjunction, or a convergence, of
TWO S.Y.M.-Zonia™ in a SINGLE
SOLUTION – I think. This should not
affect your subscriptions. What I mean
to say is , that -- as you will see below --
it just so happens, that the CAPITAL
CITY of BOHEMIA COUNTY –
which is to say, the County Seat
thereof, “is” the town of Drain
(Oregon) . At least, depending on
what the meaning of “is” is ….
Please see below.
.
Indeed, as discussed below, and confirmed
by the map of Rupert Roget, P.L.S., Drain
was to be the County Seat of the
subdivided, or off-annexed and new
BOHEMIA COUNTY ….
BUT, as Drain meanwhile remained a part of
the “real” hydrologically defined county of Douglas County, the “Watershed” County, nonpariel, the proposal to partition
Bohemia County, and declare Drain it’s capital would have – quite “literally” – “pulled the plug” on the watershed
Douglas County: precisely by removing it’s Drain !!!! Oh yes: AND FINALLY -- to complete the picture, it also
happens, that the B.O.U.B. did quite a lot of work on the plats for this same town – Drain. GOT IT? No …?
OKAY – PLAYERS!!! Let’s approach this from another angle…..

4. From the desk of ABOUT OUR COVER !!
Titular Leader Ass. Dr. Beckon accepts the favorable response of the
members of SH&T, LLP, after their review of her this week’s submission, to
S.Y.M.-Zonia™
Players ! Yes – hello yet again and all that: As most of you will likely have guessed, OUR COVER THIS
WEEK shows the famous “Bohemian Mystery” mystery-painting, that was only this spring acquired by the Los
Angeles County Museum of Art (LACMA) where the mystery persists as to its provenance, origin and paintership.
LACMA, which insists that the painting was spotted in Spain in the 19th
C., has posited that it may be of Spanish origin,
or provenance – although Provenance is in France. In support of this hypothesis, the defensive anonymous official in
charge of acquisitions at LACMA posted to a LACMA chat room, where he was quoted as saying, “It resembles, in view
of the extensive deployment of chiaroscuro, for evocative effect, an early, very, very bad – I mean really awful --
Caravagio.” Hmmmm.
In fact, we at S.Y.M.-Zonia™ know – thanks to Dr. Beckon – that the painting originated in Bohemia County (Oregon)
and once hung in the foyer of the Drain (Oregon) Un-Normal School – pictured below … About 1908, it was auctioned
off during a school fund-raiser, to address a financial crisis, and, over the next decade, somehow made its’ way to
Spain, where it was at the foundation of the Dadaist and Surrealist schools of art. Many in Drain still claim the work
rightly belongs back in their city, as a common patrimony, a birthright, that is -- like much of the Bohemian heritage –
alienable, but very important to tourism. Indeed, it is thought by some to be the work of ….. yes! Players – you
guessed it: none other than the same “Bartleby” of Umpqua Basin. In this painting, The B.O.U.B. clearly was aspiring
to greater things than town plats, probably in his off hours. See, e.g., Who Perpetrated the Perplexing Plats of the
Umpqua River Watershed? (August 19, 2012) Much more below!!!
These facts were brought to our attention by Titular Leader Ass.
Dr. Beckon’s rather extensive investigation of Bohemia County
(Oregon), which report she presented to the members of SH&T,
LLP for approval [See the pic above – Ed.] before forwarding to us
here at D-37, etc. etc.. WE PRINT HER REPORT BELOW!!!
These Bohemian denizens, have – with the exception of what Dr.
Beckon learned and reported of them in her letter [Again – see
below – Ed.] PRINTED EXCLUSIVELY by S.Y.M.-Zonia™ --
have apparently once again inaccessibly vanished in a “Brigadoon”-
like maneuver, into an alternate but parallel temporal dimension,
from which they probably should not be expected to re-appear for
another 100 years. HOWEVER -- let’s let Ass Dr. Beckon
present her Bohemian findings to you, dear S.Y.M.-Zonians ™ …
As we look into what’s … .

5. FROM THE MAILBAG

Players ! -- So much, in such a
small compass!! Note, however,
Dr. Beckon’s reference to Tin Pot
Valley Typesetters Charlie &
Rozelle PUTNAM !! Typesetters
for Rev. John Smith Griffin, of
Tualatin Plains (Oregon) -- See, the
CAUGHT ON TYPE Puzzler, Who
Lured Charlie the Typesetter.. etc.
(Feb. 19, 2012) Maybe that explains
it! They were from Drain (Oregon) !

9. YOU ARE NOW ENTERING
WHO WAS BEHIND … BOHEMIA COUNTY (Oregon)? ….
and WHERE WAS IT’S COUNTY SEAT ??
Okay, Players: is it starting to make sense
now? I mean, about Drain? Good!!!
The Coos Bay Times broke the story in a
hard-hitting , no-holds-barred front-page
expose on the last day of 1908 – on New
Year’s Eve, when no one reads the paper!!!
Because of the unfortunate timing, no-one
even noticed the expose -- BUT!!!, undeterred,
the Coos Bay Times editorial board voted to
persist in investigations, and soon ran a
followup series of articles that appeared in the
month of January, 1909 – laying out the whole
plot, hatched by a number of citizens of
DRAIN, Oregon to bifurcate the hydrological
integrity of Douglas County (Oregon) --
Oregon’s uniquely configured WATERSHED
County.
See the next page …

10. And DRAIN...
was of course, designated to
be the County Seat of
Bohemia County !!!
YES --
The CITY of DRAIN
(!!) was to be the County
Seat of this proposed
annexation, Bohemia
County – and so forms the
SOLUTION to the famous,
hard-to find GUMPTION
S.Y.M.-Zonia ™ –which
we were going to run LAST
WEEK!, before the
ravaging PONDEROSA
FIRE broke out,
completely upsetting the
applecart of time, and
obliging me to re-schedule,
well, Players, yes: almost
EVERYTHING!!!
The articles at left tell the
whole story – well, maybe
they do, maybe they don’t --
from two January, 1909
issues of the Coos Bay
Times. Players: don’t
pretend you know it all,
already!! It’s not a simple
story, but involved some
intra-mural strife between
rival factions of these
idealists -- the would-be-
Bohemians -- with one
group from Cottage Grove,
in Lane County, and the
core group of advocates,
naturally, from Drain, at
loggerheads over where to
draw the line on their new
county!!
NOTE ALSO, Players,
that yet another faction was
located at Yoncalla
(Oregon), an organized in
resistance to their neighbors
in Drain. .
It was an ugly revolution.

11. “An House divided against itself, cannot stand” – much less be built.
And this in-house strife between the factions of Bohemia may have
been the root cause of the failure of the 1908-1909 initiative …
HOWEVER -- !!
YES -- the determined citizens of Drain, Oregon and environs
nearby, were Bohemians by birth -- and so they were unfazed.
Thus, in April of the year 1910, they were back again, with a new
committee, to push for the same old proposal, to sever the northern
portion of Douglas County, from the total hydrological integrity it
enjoyed with the citizens of the southern part. And to form a purely
POLITCAL union, based on their common IDEALS alone!!! and
brazenly irrespective of bonds of blood and water consumption.
The political boundaries they proposed were unnatural ones –
following largely -- almost exclusively – along the abstract, nay even
imaginary, lines of the G.L.O. surveys for Oregon: referencing not the
NATURAL boundaries of the Douglas County WATERSHED, as it had
always and forever been, but the strange and almost unintelligible tech-
speak of the scientific surveyors. A purely intellectual and imaginary –
or ideal – union, unlike anything previously conceived within that
WATERSHED County.
PLAYERS!!! These same boundaries were the ones referenced by
SYM-Zonia Special Consultant Rupert Roget (Ret.), for
reconstructing the boundaries of Bohemia County (Oregon), as
portrayed on the NEVER-BEFORE SEEN MAP of BOHEMIA
COUNTY (Ore.) that was published for the first time LAST WEEK
and appears again above – laser precise, a century later. A century!!!
For in fact, the Bohemians returned in two years, for one last bite at the
apple, one last grasp at the Brass Ring of Political Legitimacy. In
February, 1912 – 100 years ago this year the news was reported --
almost as an aside -- that the Drainians were once again, or still,
agitating to secede …
And that’s how it happened …. 100 years ago – this year!!!

12. AND OF COURSE …
Of course, throughout this entire period – and for some time before, and after, it was none other than the B.O.U.B. – that
is, the “Bartleby” of Umpqua Basin – whose hand can ALSO be recognized in the original Plat of Drain (1878)

13. Gaining skill and demonstrating confidence, settling into his own style, in the later “Drain’s Addition to Drain” plat ..
(1872) –
… where his work is easy to recognize by the Art Nouveau/Art Deco calligraphy, the literal “streamlining” of the
watercourses and the rendering of the stream names in “negative” ….

14. And even the “East Drain” plat – (1888)
To mention a few …

15. And yes – of course, there’s more. Just – not for beginners.
Which is why, as was discussed in the WATERSHED MOMENT issue, a couple weeks back, Ass Dr. Stephanie
Beckon herself had summoned in Rupert Roget, P.L.S., Surveyor of Coon County (Ret.) to Port Orford (Oregon) to
the well-appointed offices of Smith Hubbard & Tichenor, LLP at the corner of Fourth & Garrison Sts, etc. etc. – And,
as I mentioned LAST WEEK, the two had been sighted later that same week, engaged in the most serious conversation,
heading down ___ street towards the beach in the neighborhood about Battle Rock. And that they were later sighted
seated near one another, on a rock along that portion of the Harbor [ I think I mentioned the lithograph was executed –
but I couldn’t run it last week, for lack of space – Ed.] presumably [ And I use the word advisedly, so as not to offend the
sensibilities of Titular Leader – Ed.] engaged in the joint development of some sort of intellectual construct: a
common conceptualization -- and by common, I do not mean to suggest that it was not also uncommon: because in fact
it was -- of the nature of a Higher Hypothesis, as to what, pray tell, do you really think that this “Bartleby” figure was
really up to? And why did he limit his oeveure or eoirvoovre -- or however that word
is spelled -- to the Umpqua River Watershed? So that there
and only there can one hope to find works of such
striking design and such emotive power, that would
lead a careful historian of art to declare almost
without thinking –
“WHAT A STUPENDOUS B.O.U.B.!”
But, myself being rather removed from the
local scene of this collaboration, I can only
but suppose what these two were able to
accomplish in their joint venturing of the
mind … FOR INSTANCE:
ACT II , Scene iv: (Enter, Stephanie and
Rupert, and take their seats on a rock by the
Pacific Ocean … )
Rupert: So, my dear, what to make of this all …? ??? ??
I mean, that the entire county of Douglas County, has been
lain out so as to be almost utterly coterminous with the Umpqua
River Watershed – so that the County is really a drainage ? And what do
you think – the works of this “Bartleby” fellow, seem to be everywhere in
Douglas County – but NOWHERE else .. ?
Stephanie: ( Folding her parasol) [Sorry, to be putting words in your mouth,
Stephanie! – Ed.] Well, Rupert, my charming man, it’s true. And I think that
the points made by Mr. Goldengate in the WATERSHED MOMENT issue,
recently, bearing upon this issue, were really and truly insightful ones. And
that in counterpointing the WATERSHED issue with the content presented in
last week’s GUMPTION issue.. wait -- I mean, the SMOKE SIGNALS
issue, because he got a bit side-tracked there, by the fire, and had to redo that
one – he was doing something completely unprecedented. Because, as I see
from your carefully rendered map, the capital of this ideal yet unrealized
BOHEMIA COUNTY, Oregon, is in fact DRAIN!!!! So that creates a sort of
parallax, you know?
Rupert: Hmmmmm. A pair of what? What did you say?
Stephanie: (Sighing..) Sigh!! This is really not a good place to talk. The surf is just too loud. And you might catch a
chill. Can we go up to the Whale-of-a-Tale Coffee Bar and Disco, and grab a latte?
Rupert: Oh – yes: I’ve heard about it !! A fine idea. !! Cpaital
[Exeunt] (Arm in arm…) YOU ARE NOW LEAVING