When the good ship DESDEMONA ran aground on the Middle Sands of the Columbia River, off shore of ASTORIA, it was apparently an accident attributable to fog... The SHIPWRECK left behind soon imparted a new name to the middle Sands d-- the DESDEMONA SANDS. But was it an accident? Upon closer examination the Captain's logbook reveals some very curious writing... of the nature of a CYPHER! Can you crack the code of the LAST LOG OF THE DESDEMONA?
PLUS -- never before seen photographs of the STONY POINT BIER-- the final resting place of the Mysterious Indian Mummy of Shoawater Bay !!!!
CAVEAT: This issue is not to be confused with the classic ACROPYM Puzzler -- SHIPWRECKED!!
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SYM-Zonia -- SHIPWRECK !!
1. SMITH HUBBARD & TICHENOR
GOLDENGATE’S
for February 17, 2013
SHIPWRECK!
NO – wait … !!!
The “LAST LOG” of the DESDEMONA
– CAN YOU CRACK …. the CODE ?
But first…. !!!
2. From the desk of ….
PLAYERS!! Welcome!! Welcome to the special, super-
charged SHIPWRECK! Issue of S.Y.M.-Zonia™
Heavens to Mergutroid !!!
And …Wowee!!! Well… Players, before we roll out This Week’s
issue, I just want to take a moment to re-assure you all, that the
Meteor DA-14 has passed safely -- THIS TIME!!! -- By Planet Earth
!!! Phew!! That was a close-one!!! But it gives me the opportunity to re-
affirm the role that S.Y.M.-Zonia™ has played over the last year and more
in generating METEORITE AWARENESS, through our close co-
operation with one of the last remaining free newspapers on the Southern Oregon Coast, the Langlois Ledger…. which
UNIQUELY covered the story of a suspected METEORITE impact at Port Orford, on the night of October 31, 2011 –
HALLOWEEN! of Last Year!! Many of you will still remember the disastrous results of that suspected strike!!! ..
which is blamed by most as the cause of the mysterious fire which broke out in the reading room of the law offices of
Smith Hubbard & Tichenor, LLP -- -- otherwise known as SH&T, LLP – that same night: carrying in its wake, many
unforeseen consequences for the community: perhaps the most significant of which, was the discovery of the remains of
the INDIAN MUMMY in secret compartment of the SH&T, LLP library!!!! Which remains were now slightly charred
by the mysterious fire …
WELL, Players!! Now This Week, with the METEOR impact in Russia, and the Close FLYBY of Asteroid DA-14—
you KNOW, Players, that there is only one place to turn for METEORITE NEWS!!, and that’s the Langlois
Ledger! And S.Y.M.-Zonia™ …. of course!!! We had the story first Yes!!! We’ve still got it covered!!!
And, the Port Orford Meteorite (II) story continues today, as the Ledger’s correspondent S.E.“S.”(S.) Beckon travels
to the shores of SHOALWATER BAY (Washington) to investigate the FACTS behind the original legend of the
Mysterious Indian Mummy, and J. G. Swan’s story, that the said INDIAN MUMMY was found in an Indian Burial
Canoe on the unique promontory known as “Stoney Point”… on the Donation Land Claim of Capt. J.C.W. Russell – the
same brigand who later claimed to have discovered the Mummy, and then pirated it from Stoney Point, absconded with
it, and sailed it down to San Francisco (California) for commercial exploitation, by exhibit – FOR A FEE!!!
3. PLAYERS!! Should you be in need
of a REFRESHER on some of the
details of this story, you may refer to the
MUMMY issue [Otherwise known as
Who was the Celebrated Scientist
Who Certified the Authenticity of the
Mysterious Indian Mummy of
Shoalwater Bay, (Washington)? (Sept.
17, 20112) – Ed.] – and the solution
thereto, which ran in the DEAD
LETTERS issue on HALLOWEEN
Or… You can simply Gargle up a
copy of J.G. Swan’s book, Three Years
Residence in Washington …. and read
Chapter VI, at pp. 67, ff. !!! Wowee!!
!
BUT FIRST … The story goes, that a group of
Swan’s rowdy emigrant friends, were
exploring the neighborhood of Stoney Point,
on the D.L.C. of Capt. Russell, when they
stumbled their way through the brush, and
same upon a ceremonial burial canoe of the
type the Native Americans used as a sort of
cedar, camphor-impregnated, mausoleum for
the honorable disposition of human remains,
aka DEAD BODIES. These were not
infrequently examined by the Whites, “in the
interest of science” of course, and also not
infrequently plundered for saleable curios, and
artifacts, quite often for pecuniary gain – but
also – let’s face it – because the Whites found
everything associated with the Indians, to be
very, very cool.
Now, in this case, when the burial canoe was
opened to examine the remains inside, it was found by Swan, Russell and their company, that the body of the Indian
within was in a state of perfect preservation, of the kind recorded in, e.g., the Middle English poem St. Erkenwald --
which tells the story of the discovery of body of a pagan, pre-Christian judge – a Welshman, or an Englishman, probably -
- whose remains -- once his coffin was pried open by the curious – were also found to be in a perfect state of
preservation – considered a divine miracle at the time!!! Wowee!!! PLAYERS!!! I mean …. literally …..
Wowee!!!
Well, Swan reported that the body of the Indian Mummy, was not alone, but that there were two small skeletons
concealed with him in the canoe – which were completely dessicated, and bare-bones: all of which may tend toward the
conclusion that the preservation of the MUMMY, was NOT after all the result of a secret accomplishment of the
embalmer’s arts, but was, rather, something on the order of … a miracle!!! And so, if such is the case, Players, Capt.
Russell was not merely mis-handling a corpse, but trafficking in SACRED RELICS !!! Which would not necessarily
be a good idea .. even at 50 cents a head !! The word “simony” comes to mind!!
BUT -- Players!! How would we ever know? How, at this point -- at a remove of some 150 years since the taking of
the Indian Mummy to San Francisco, could such an undetermined issue possibly be resolved??? RIGHT!!! Only by a
Special Correspondent to the Langlois Ledger , none other than S.E.“S.”(S.) Beckon -- who has been following the story
of the INDIAN MUMMY since the night the Port Orford meteorite (II) struck,
…. and recently filed … this report:
5. PLAYERS – NOTE: Unfortunately, I don’t have room to run page 3 of the Ledger This Week!! However, as I
mentioned, the reason for this is because I have received a personal communication from the Ledger’s own
correspondent, Sarah Elizabeth Beckon herself , which I am publishing immediately below, in our regular section
….. well-known as …
6. FROM THE MAILBAG
PLAYERS!!! Along with the Special Delivery of the Feb. 2 , 2013 number of the Langlois Ledger, [Above – Ed.] our
friendly mailman, Dak, brought with him to us, here at Unit D-37, a CRRR envelope [Now called USPS Tracking -- Ed.]
also postmarked Langlois (Oregon) !!! and enclosing a short, single-spaced handwritten note and a number of
striking photographs, quite evidently of the same low promontory as identified in last week’s Ledger, as Stoney Point
[Swan’s old spelling – Ed.] (Washington) : the very location where was once found the burial canoe of the Mysterious
Indian Mummy of Shoalwater Bay!!! See for yourselves!!!!! It’s OKAY!!! He’s not there anymore !!!!
PLAYERS!!! The name
“Stoney Point” [The “e” of
“Stoney” is silent in this old
spelling! Don’t pronounce it!
– Ed.] now makes perfect
sense!! Sarah Elizabeth
explains it in her note!! It is
uniquely at this point -- and
nowhere else on the Bay --that
a strata of blocky basalt
stones is -- by the relentless
tidal storm surge -- being
gradually eroded out of the
cliffs of sedimentary clay
layers along the western
shores of the bay, and strewn
across the shoreline, leaving
a UNIQUE beach of very
significant boulders -- as,
meanwhile, that erosion,
keeps pushing, pushing the
cliff back, farther and
farther to the East –
EXcEPT !!! Yes…
everywhere except … here:
7. EXCEPT for
this prominent
hummock, at the
very westernmost
end of the land at
Stoney Point, and
even beyond it: a
strange tower: a
pillar of clay, the
existence of which –
separated from the
main landmass of
Stoney Point with
the effects of wild
marine erosion being
evident everywhere
around it – can
hardly be explained
conventionally, as the
result of strictly
“natural forces” !!!
Like the Mysterious
Indian Mummy itself,
it appears that some
preternatural operation
has enabled this … bier of CLAY to weather the onslaught of the
storm surge and tidal erosion, that has eaten away at the base of
Stoney Point for generations since the Mummy was removed ..
By what action could this small tower of clay withstand a hundred
and fifty years of battering by storm and sea?? PLAYERS!!
Your call! [ It looks like the head of a giant Indian emerging from
the earth -- head-dress and all!– Ed.] [Wowee!! weird -- Ed.]
NOW ….. where was I? [Weird …] OH YES! I’m quite sure …
The SHIPWRECK ISSUE of S.Y.M.-Zonia™ …..
8. RIGHT. Back to the present!!!! It’s another surprising, jam-packed week,
in which we have to cover not just ONE ship’s log, cluttered with passages of
ENCRYPTED TEXT – namely the Last Log of the Desdemona --- but TWO!!!
YES!! The Eagle’s Wing Log is also affected!! Look inside!!!
That’s correct: It’s like a double-header! Or, like a twin-masted SCHOONER !!
Permit me to take a moment to explain…
This Week’s issue is itself almost like a Ghost Ship …undersail again
The SHIPWRECK! Issue you now hold in your hands, has been quite some time in
coming. It was originally prepared – at least in part – by the illustrious, late, lamented
Edmund E. Elmendorf, VI, of happy memory: the erstwhile original editor of the
illustrious old P.Y.M ™ PUZZLER, and who -- by a sad & very, very strange
sequence of sinister crimes -- is our own predecessor behind the Editorial Desk.
[Players – check your back issues: I’ve got to keep this moving!! – Ed.]
At any rate: this issue – or a template thereof -- was originally queued to run during the spring of 2011 -- March 31,
2011 ; YES – almost two full years ago!! Can you believe it? Is it even possible? Naturally, the graphics department at
the old PUZZLER had worked up “layouts” for the issue: planning to present Elmendorf’s inimitable analysis, but –
being Union & lacking all originality – did so in that clunky format coupled with those crude pictograms that had become
the hallmark of the PUZZLER, and were really half it’s charm. YES: The P.Y.M. ™ PUZZLER: Remember finding
that in your mail-box …[Then, later, your e-mail box? –Ed.] Remember opening it? [Don’t laugh Impolite! – Ed.]
It was not unlike going outside on a Saturday afternoon in June, and flinging yourself
back on the bench-seat of your Dad’s old Rambler, parked in the drive, only to find
that the lipstick-red vinyl had gotten REALLY, REALLY HOT sitting there in the sun
for a couple hours – but… there was a delayed effect: it just took a half a minute for
all that heat to penetrate your jeans, & your T-shirt, and your hair … and burn the
Smith Hubbard & Tichenor out of you… !! Holy Crap!! Better hope no-one saw
you LIGHT OUT of there, boy-oh-boy!! Make sure none of your friends were
watching … Or your little sister… But by then! Players!!! It was of course WAY
TOO LATE!! And you clothes felt like they were literally on fire and – whether
anybody might be watching or not -- you had to jig a little jiggy-jig dance to keep the
denim material, and your T-shirt, from contacting your skin. OWEEEeeee!!!
THAT’s how the old P.Y.M. ™ PUZZLER was, wasn’t it? You always thought it
was a friendly, welcoming back-seat for your mind, and you would sit down on it .. just
for a minute or two … and relax … and then …. And THEN ……. YES!! It was like
being tricked into swallowing your first habanero – whole!!! Or like the neighbor kid
offering you a drink of his cola, if you’d stare directly into the sun itself!! And you
DID!!! And the after-image it created, was like an enduring retinal-burn on your brain …
It might never go away. Remember? YES!!! You might try and … blink it away!!! -- -- >blink< > blink<
….but it only seems … to become… >blink< … > blink< … Oh NO!!! Even more fixed!!! >blink< > blink<
Players! YOU KNOW THEN that you may be SCARRED FOR LIFE!!! Yes: the P.Y.M. ™ PUZZLER was like
that!! What can I say: it was a different era. People routinely took wild, unjustified risks!!! But, we’ve fixed things
a bit since then of course. Added lots of safety features: road-signs, pointers, & outright warnings, viz:
“YOU ARE NOW ENTERING S.Y.M.-ZONIA™”
and all that.. Plus extra clues !!! Well, at any rate, as illustrated here, the original SHIPWRECKED issue was …
SPIKED!!! As you, Players, were able to see, in the SPIKED!! Issue [See, December 31, 2011 – Ed.], that ritually
crapped-off each … [Oops!! Spell-czech ; ON!!! ] capped-off each year at the PUZZLER.. Wowee!!! Which is
precisely why I’m reaching back onto the back shelf, here at Unit D-37, Payless Self-Storage, fumbling around in
Dromgoole’s Hefty storage bag – all that survived the arson in the Belmont (California) Motel 6, Unit 11 – which lead
eventually to Dromgoole’s arrest and prosecution therefore, and his removal….
BUT WAIT, PLAYERS… I digress. Because, imminently…
9. YOU ARE NOW ENTERING
The LAST LOG of the DESDEMONA
CAN YOU CRACK …. the CODE ?
SO …PLAYERS!! If you really read the story of finding of the Indian Mummy at Shoalwater Bay, as
recounted by J.G. Swan, in Chapt. VI of his book, Three Years Residence… etc.etc. you might notice that the story
begins at one “Stoney Point” on Shoalwater Bay, but seems to end at ANOTHER “Stoney Point” -- this one on the
Columbia River!! There’s a relevant Indian myth, sandwiched in between, and an illustration of EACH Stoney Point!
This second Stoney Point is still in Washington State, yes! But it’s on the River, not the bay.. This Stoney Point is
more conventionally stony: a lava flow, near the town of Chinook (Washington) ( and very close to Chinook Point) --
Looking west towards “Stoney Point” on Hwy 101 -- -- In the far background, Cape Disappointment …
… over which can be found the magnificent remains of the U.S. Army’s Fort Columbia – now a valuable link in the
Washington State Park system… If you haven’t been there, well …. Players!!
HOWEVER: for present purposes, the point of this other Stoney Point, is that it … points across the Columbia river –
more or less -- to a mammoth sand bar in the middle of the Columbia, off Astoria (Oregon) – formerly known as the
Middle Sands, but now as Desdemona Sands – in view of the shipwreck of the bark Desdemona, which ran aground
here on the night of December 31, 1856 to January 1, 1857 … under the command of Capt. Francis Williams …
Desdemona Sands in the middle of the Columbia river: here exposed at low tide. The “Astoria-Megler” Bridge is shown,
traversed by motorists fleeing from Washington State ! [But certainly NOT returning to Oregon with recreational pot, where
that’s illegal !!! – Ed.]
10. The bark Desdemona -- 104 ft long, 25 ft. beam -
was early on the Columbia river (ca. 1850) working
the coasting trade during the Gold Rush, on a regular
route, usually running between St. Helens (Oregon)
and San Francisco, (California), as one of a small
fleet of vessels owned by the firm of Geo. Abernethy
& Co., of Oregon City (Oregon). PLAYERS!! You
may remember Prov. Gov. Abernethy from the
INJUNS! issue! He resigned his office as Oregon’s
first and only provisional era Governor, shortly after
the outbreak of INDIAN WARS in 1848, when, in
1849, Oregon became an official U. S. Territory!!
Wowee!! Abernethy continued his sideline of
shipping, and later partnered with William S. Clark,
to form Abernethy & Clark: his new partner being
none other than he who had constructed Clark’s
wharf, running off Clark’s Point, in San Francisco.
Geo. Abernethy’s son operated a saw mill at Oak
Point, (Washington) and provided lumber into the
booming San Francisco building market…. Once the
lumber was unloaded in San Francisco, Abernethy &
Clarke vessels like the bark Desdemona, were loaded
with fancy finished goods that had been shipped into
San Francisco from the manufacturing centers of the
East Coast. These goods were then sailed up the coast
to Astoria, and thence upriver on the Columbia and
the Willamette Rivers, to Oregon City – where such
manufactures were in very high demand.. As can be
seen from this rare Abernethy & Co. broadside,
which was posted in Oregon City, where goods were
sold directly off the Desdemona, moored at the dock.
Undersail, the Desdemona would have showed the
private mercantile flag of Abernethy, Clark & Co.
Clark’s wharf was the FIRST commercial wharf built at San
Francisco (California) – so the partnership of the two men was a
powerful one. In fact, Clark’s wharf was constructed in 1847 –
when California was still under a U.S. military occupation
government, and the city was still known as Yerba Buena.
[Trans: “Good weed,” per Birdman!! – Ed.]
Clark’s Wharf appears on a few old maps of San Francisco,
including LeCount’s map (1859), where it is apparently identified
with Vallejo Street which was laid out 2 years later, when the city
was surveyed. And that brings us … up to the minute!!! Now for This Week’s … S.Y.M.-Zonia™ !!
11. The Desdemona’s “Last Logbook”* !!
*DISCLAIMER -- Above: Page 1 of the “Last Log”!!!
Players!! Just a brief disclaimer!!! This is not really the LAST logbook for the Desdemona – it’s just
the last one I could find !!! [ Yes: It’s at the elusive and exclusive WTF Archive!!! – Ed] It’s from Nov.-Dec. 1855-
1856, and that’s almost exactly one [(1) – Ed.] year before that fateful voyage, on which the Desdemona ran aground on
the Middle Sands, in that tragic SHIPWRECK! from which – luckily -- nearly everyone survived!! OKAY: Everyone
survived. Yes… its just a tidal flat. Yes: it was probably pretty embarrassing for Capt. Williams, when he ran the
Desdemona right up there onto the Middle Sands, where all old salts and brash young sailors in Astoria, could watch him,
stranded, and shake their heads, and … chuckle derisively into their beards… as the ship gradually fell to pieces, and
…over the next few years … eventually sank into the sands. Desdemona Sands! Yes – the name was an inside joke.
OKAY! This is not the Voyage of the Titanic. I never said it was! Just a little merchant bark, grounded on a sandbar.
I also want to say, that this is not really the Desdemona’s “log” book, but is really just the shipmaster’s journal …
RIGHT: This being just a quick merchant run, there probably was not a real official “log” book per se, but just this little
throwaway shipmaster’s journal, which the Master, Henry Fairley, maintained – though in quite a neat hand -- during
this voyage, in this cheap little “MAYHEW’S ACCOUNT BOOK” which – we may suppose – was provided to him out of the
largesse of Abernethy Clark & Co. But I tried the title …
“The-Next-to-the-Next-to-the-Last Shipmaster’s Journal of the Bark Desdemona –
Can You Crack the Code?”
It lost something …. So, that’s why “Last Log” appears in quotation marks [“Like this!” – Ed.] This Week!!
So … there! That’s the facts. Now here’s the issue … for This Week’s S.Y.M.-Zonia™ !!
12. PLAYERS!!! According to her “Last Log”, the voyage of the bark Desdemona was comparatively routine -- even
uneventful, though not evidently unremarkable!!! As you can see from the first page [ Last page – Ed.], the
Desdemona got underway from Abernethy’s mills at Oak Point (Washington) on November 9, 1855, when – after the
deck load was tied down -- the pilot finally arrived, and they swung the vessel out into the current .. and! Well, Players,
there was no turning back from the fate awaiting them all !! It took a few days to get downriver to the mouth of the
Columbia, and a few more, until they could cross Columbia river bar. As they approached the bar, Capt. Fairley noted in
his “log book” a number of other vessels heading out to see, like the Ocean Bird, the Metropolis, the Matthew Vassar,
etc.
Indeed, although to sail south this time of year meant the Desdemona was working against a stiff headwind, nevertheless,
everything seemed to go normally. That is, until, on November 30th
– almost 20 days after leaving Oak Point -- as the
Desdemona approached the Farallone Islands [ The “Farallones” to the experienced seamen! – Ed.] – Capt. Fairley
caught sight of a strange sail, which he first mistook for – oops: I mean, identified as – the Matthew Vassar.. …
PLAYERS!!! It was at this point that Capt. Fairley was overcome with a desire to express himself in a very QUEER
CRYPTOGRAM!! Yes!! That’s a kind of SECRET WRITING – a cypher. Like a CODE! Here’s the page
with some of my helpful notes ….
My Helpful Notes
strange strikeouts
& the Matthew Vassar
Handwriting changes!!
“Friday” is here
mis-spelled. But why?
HERE! Players…
This passage of text
may in fact be encoded
swear words that Capt
Fairley didn’t want his
employer to read!!!
What do you think?
Suspicious smudge
Click-to-Enlarge!
More ships!!
Bark Desdemona
finally “docks” in S.F. -
aground at Abernethy
& Clark’s wharf at the
foot of Vallejo Street ?
13. Here’s that passage again. Note that the first and last word appear to be the same!!! And there are other repetitions!!
Good luck!! That’s only about 13 words of encrypted text – and NINE if you count out the repetitions!!
WAIT!! Players. I remember… some of you are Code-shy!! Yes. I’m remembering the DEAD LETTERS issue,
which remains UNSOLVED even almost 4 months later!!! Quite disturbing. Are you sure you’ve got what it takes for
this HIGH CAPACITY MAGAZINE? Yes? Okay….. But … do you think you could use a little help here, hmmmm?
Definitely.
OKAY: So, Abernethy & Clark had some other vessels working the coasting trade. One of these was the Eagle Wings.
On this voyage from Boston to San Francisco, departing the Boston wharf on Dec. 20, 1853, the Eagle Wings was
captained – or mastered -- by E.H. Linnett: like the bird. He kept a ship’s log, in another blank “courtesy copy” of
MAYHEW’S ACCOUNT BOOK – but his handwriting was not so good as Capt. Fairley’s. Nevertheless, he made very good
time, despite a series of storms, and some damage to the rigging, and loss of the main topmast staysail, and suchlike – and
arrived in San Francisco on March 12, 1854 !! as you can read, in his journal -- there in the elusive WTF archive !!
Wowee!! It’s the torn one . I did not do it …
[ intentionally …]
14. Capt. Linnett of the Eagle Wings
also made a rough chart of his track
from Boston to San Francisco, and
then – evidently – continuing on to
Astoria (Oregon), although this leg
of the voyage is not documented in
the Ship’s Log. That chart he
included in the Log, when he turned
it in to the main business office of
Abernethy & Clark (presumably).
BUT WAIT!! PLAYERS!!
Do you see what I see? Coded text
in the journal of the Eagle Wings?
It’s there!! Only it’s a whole
different cipher!!
Linnet’s chart is useful for identifying the ports that the Eagle Wings called at, en route from Boston to San Francisco…
15. UH-OH!!! More code? Now, Players, of course, that in itself is not so helpful. But ... THIS is !!! Because
on one page of his log book, or Shipmaster’s Journal for the Voyage of the Eagle Wings, Capt. Linnett added some more
passages in his secret cipher – BUT!!! Some diligent code-breaker came along at a later date – maybe someone in the
Abernethy & Clark business office – and cracked the code for you !! There it is – in faint pencil notations at the
bottom of the page! See it?
HERE ...
OKAY! Got it? PLAYERS – Do you think you can handle it from here? Believe me … it’s no
SUPERIDDLE!! OKAY: Now, using the ABOVE KEY [Presumably accurate !! – Ed.] provided by some well-
intentioned Ancient Mariner, to the encrypted text of the Shipmaster’s Journal for the Eagle Wings, you can “mount up
on Eagle Wings,” so to speak, and decipher Linnett’s encrypted text !!! And then -- once you’ve successfully
accomplished that task – then, by tapping into your newly acquired de-coding aptitude, you can “fly with you own
wings” and turn your attention, at long last, to the NINE ENCODED WORDS of the “Last Log” of the Desdemona !
CAN YOU DO IT? YES!!! YOU CAN!!! AND YOU’D BETTER!!!! Because ….
YOU ARE NOW LEAVING
POP. 0