THIRD PART OF THE TRILOGY famously begun in SYM-ZONIA -- WATERSHED MOMENT !!, in this issue Michael C. Goldengate returns with further details on the mysterious survey plats of DOUGLAS COUNTY, Oregon, and the Umpqua River basin, wherein are uniquely found the works of a figure known to posterity only as the B.O.U.B. And, in particular, Goldengate probes into what may be tender areas in the personal history of the B.O.U.B., when his survey work shows a departure from a generally happy-go-lucky disposition, and takes a turn towards the darker side of life, as seen in his "Brooding Burnt Umber" period. What happened to the B.O.U..B.to cause him to create such gloomy, despairing survey plats???

1. SMITH HUBBARD & TICHENOR
GOLDENGATE’S
for September 9, 2012
PARADIDDLE
WHAT’S the SIGNIFICANCE of “BARTLEBY”’s
BROODING “BURNT UMBER” PERIOD
as SEEN in the PERPLEXING PLATS
of the UMPQUA RIVER WATERSHED?
With
But first …

2. From the desk of
The B.O.U.B. is Back … AGAIN!! ?
PLAYERS – Yes!!! But – perhaps for the last
time!! At least, for this year. For – well, as you
know – there ARE other stories to tell …
“Alas!”<sniff> I hear the cry ….
BUT LOOK: Is it -- is it really the same Bartleby
we all have come to know and respect – over the
last few weeks? Is it the same mysterious
mastermind? Is it the same Perpetrator of the
Perplexing Plats of the Umpqua River
Watershed? Remember the whimsical, cotton-
candy-colored plats of the Umpqua River
Watershed… ??
PLAYERS – it’s these plats that look like they
were stapled to a phone pole in Haight-
Ashbury!! Let’s face it -- like a Peter Max
poster book … Many of these highly-colored
works of this so-called “Bartleby” figure seem
oh-so-summery, so happy-go-lucky, and
almost Polyannish. Yes … they have even led
to critical snickers over the acronym used as shorthand for his
moniker – aka
The B.O.U.B….
But we know, that wherever there are
displays of such manic highs, there are by
an operation, almost of a law of nature,
ALWAYS corresponding psychic swings
into countervailing lows. And indeed, in
“Bartleby” there was – a darker side: a
side not often considered either by his
admirers or critics. But … maybe I’m
getting ahead of the story. Let’s see…

3. ABOUT OUR COVER !!! Let’s take a look back, Players …
REMEMBER last week?
Deeply engaged in discourse on questions cartographical in
nature, Ass. Dr. Stephanie Beckon and her “special friend” S.Y.M.-
Zonia ™ Special Consultant Rupert Roget, P.L.S. Surveyor of Coon
County (Ret.), had found themselves on stroll from the SH&T, LLP,
offices at 4th
& Garrison Street in Port Orford (Oregon), walking down
___ Street towards the Bay (sometimes formerly called Ewing Harbor) ,
and by some unspoken assent, had chosen a location, and perched
themselves on some rocks at the edge of the surf, near the legendary
Battle Rock …
Thereafter, their conversation -- you may recall -- had focused on the
question of a sort of parallax, said Ass. Dr. Beckon, created by the
juxtaposition of TWO VARIANT COUNTIES vying for realization in
the vicinity of the Umpqua River Watershed:
FIRST: On the one hand, there is the real, mundane and tangible
ACTUAL COUNTY, viz, Douglas County (Oregon) which, as was
discussed a number of times [Yes, true – but, let me remind you,
especially in the WATERSHED MOMENT issue, of two weeks back –
Ed.] is – with some exceptions -- nearly an exact overlay of the hydrological drainage of the Umpqua River: that is
virtually coterminous with the Umpqua River Watershed. This is the county you all see, touch and taste: the county
that works, levies taxes, pays the sheriff, and provides sanitary services …
SECOND: On the other hand, there is the OTHER otherwise UNKNOWN and UNDISCOVERED county: the lost
county of BOHEMIA COUNTY: it is an entirely ideal and conceptual county – one never realized, and having, even in
its planning, only abstract and ideal definitions derived, not from a real drainage basin, but from the G.L.O. survey grid.
Nevertheless, Bohemia County selected as its County Seat, the town of DRAIN, (Oregon): the one town in Douglas
County that is functionally critical to Douglas County, given its nature as a Watershed County: and in so doing Bohemia
County threw a rubber-ducky into the plumbing of Douglas County, threatening its very identity, threatening to co-opt
it’s plug: Leaving one county in Oregon which is almost by definition, a drainage - now WITHOUT ITS DRAIN!!!
Criminently!! You’re right:
things couldn’t get much worse,
or have gotten. You can see
why there was such resistance
to the plan of the Bohemians!!
Well-intentioned perhaps, but
blinded by their own agenda,
they completely failed to
recognize the necessities of the
larger comitatus [That’s Latin
(possessive or genitive) for
“county” – Ed.] For the
Bohemians would have left the
Douglas County citizenry at
large, to be submerged in their
unique, relentless hydrographic
materiality. Glub, glub, glub.
“Where’s the DRAIN!!!?”

4. And that was the gnarly parallax …
Well, you get the idea!! But – what next…??
Well, that’s about the time that Ass. Dr. Beckon and Rupert Roget – the two of them -- rolled it up and headed in,
carrying their intense cartographic dialogue up the cliff to the Whale-of-a-Tale Coffee Bar and Disco, in Port Orford,
(Oregon), where as it turned out, it was even harder to overhear their conversation because of the Beach Boys playing on
the juke-box that qualifies the joint as a “disco” in this small town …. “Help Me Rhonda,” “Surfin’ U.S.A.,” and etc.
That was all that could be heard. And so, they were seen wandering back via ___ Street, to SH&T, LLP -- where they
re-opened the firm archives again, and pulled a few portfolios … PLAYERS!!! See Ass. Dr. Beckon’s letter – below!!
So, my own take on this parallax, and my own proposal for its resolution, is this: that the tension created by the
juxtaposition of Bohemia County, with Drain as it’s County Seat, and Douglas County, being a uniquely “watershed
county”… is to focus our attention on the actual, physical “drain” city of the real Watershed County – and this is, of
course, the city of Gardiner (Oregon), at the mouth of the Umpqua river: the point at and past which the entire
drainage of Douglas County must finally pass. It’s simple!!! Or …. So I thought … It was so obvious – to me -- that
it was almost as if the B.O.U.B. had created a pair of plats for Gardiner:
Like this:
A PAIR OF WHATS ??
– But, why Gardiner? Aside from being the “drain” for the real hydrographical Douglas County and for Umpqua
County (Oregon) that had preceded it -- what could possibly be of interest in this other isolated, windswept coastal
hamlet ??? I mean, what with Ass. Dr. Beckon re-locating her … self to Port Orford, I had thought that THAT fishing
village alone would be central to the story -- the unparalleled Nonpariel of Oregon History, so to speak … But was
“Bartleby” suggesting something else? I mean, what with the Bohemian Parallax, and now the Paraplats – wait: I made
that up: forget that – the focus was shifting to Gardiner….
But … WHY?

5. PORT OF GARDINER
ONE POSSIBLE ANSWER, Players, was that Gardiner (Oregon), as the functional and actual “City of Drain” of the
Umpqua River Watershed, was also the port into or through which all shipping and commerce was obliged to pass….
And so, the early American settlers into Oregon, had not only established Gardiner (Oregon), the town, but – wisely – had
also established there a United States Custom House, for the Oregon Territory, District of Umpqua regulation of
shipping and commerce: namely for controlling of imports and exports, through the registering of vessels, and the
manifesting of their cargoes and passengers …
AHAH!! There were extensive Gardiner Custom House records laying about here, in D-37, in some of these bags of
papers that had survived Dromgoole’s arson of his rooms – that is, Unit 11, Motel 6, Belmont (California) ….
GARDINER had to be the answer …
BUT … well, you know: two heads are better than one… And Ass. Dr. Beckon and Rupert Roget, between
themselves, had a pair of them: and so had initially reached the same conclusion as I did – I mean, about Gardiner --
AND THEN, spurred on by the questioning mind of Mr. Roget, and sensing another parallax – they had already
advanced from the singular resolution of the Bohemian parallax – viz., Gardiner (Oregon) – to some other undisclosed
parallax… YES: you guessed it: yes -- a new parallel parallax, making for … YES!! a pair of parallaxes!! And
need I say, Players … ….
Wowee ….!! SO, the letter that Ass Dr. Beckon sent in this week was NOT, as I had expected, on Gardiner as the
unique resolution to the parallax problem… NO: it was not. Instead, based upon some undisclosed data, known only to
herself and Rupert Roget, her letter addressed development at the mouth – the drain – of a … parallel or neighboring
watershed – to the south: namely that of the Coos River, which drain into the Pacific Ocean though Coos Bay, in Coos –
or, sometimes, Coon – County…….. Got it? No? Okay…
Ass. Dr. Beckon figured I might get us all sidetracked …. Here’s the letter she sent:

6. FROM THE MAILBAG

9. PLAYERS!!! Ass. Dr. Beckon’s report makes the proposition of Pacific Slope townsite development sound stressful
…. Like a real challenge … But, to apply this lesson, if possible, to this elusive “Bartleby” figure? Well: he, it
appears, was only working in his office, on the drafting and layout of the town plats – and not responsible – at least, not
in the same way – for the promotion and development of these towns in the Umpqua River Watershed… He wasn’t
taking any risks, was he? He had no stake in the outcome of the developments he platted.
So why does he too, seem to be … disturbed … brooding? At least on some of his plats?
This issue of S.Y.M-Zonia ™ intends to get to the bottom of that question. THUS, WITHOUT FURTHER ADO…

10. WHAT’S the SIGNIFICANCE of “BARTLEBY”’s BROODING
“BURNT UMBER” PERIOD as SEEN in the PERPLEXING PLATS
of the UMPQUA RIVER WATERSHED?
These then are the plats of “Bartleby”’s
brooding and dark period: by most critics
known -- for their general cast --as his
“Burnt Umber” works ….
Players – I know it’s hard, but compare these
plats to the ditzy almost psychedelic “Peter Max” works – some
shown on page 2 -- with which we first came to know “Bartleby” –
who(m)ever he was – over the last few weeks, and YOU’LL SEE
that either he was having a really bad day, or a mood swing, or else
something terrible had taken possession of his psyche: some dark
awareness that had overtaken his whole being …
BUT WHAT?

11. Among the Perplexing Plats of the dark side of “Bartelby” there are three actual town plats – namely, of Stearn’s
Addition to Oakland – Amended Plat (1894) the original plat of South Drain (1889), and the Third Brookside Addition
to Roseburg (1892). All are shown above. There may be others, but these appear to be most representative … We
learned from Ass Dr. Beckon’s letter, that development – and non-development — of such cities could disturb the psyche
of the developer to a great degree – even leading him to the State asylum!!! Understood. This might explain the three
“burnt umber” town plats. However, PLAYERS ….
IN ADDITION to these brooding town plats, there is a singularity: not a town plat, but a subdivision map for the
Clayton Donation Land Claim, or Clayton Tract, located on some arable land in T. 24 S. R. 7 W., W.M., -- deep down
the Umpqua River canyon, near the middle of no-where: about 15 miles from the open valleys to the south, near the
Umpqua Post Office, and another 23 miles from where the river emerges from its canyon, as it nears the rolling lowlands
and plains around Elkton . At this point along its (really remarkable) course to the Pacific, the Umpqua makes one of a
number of “easy” 180° turns, and here, the resulting area, almost encompassed, holds the alluvial deposits of millennia.
Some good farmland …. [ Start a Gargle Earth or Gargle Map search at “Umpqua, Oregon,” and move down
the river valley, northward. – Ed]
Bartleby’s map of the Clayton Tract shows a
dense layering of paint, carefully – though not
evenly or smoothly – applied. In addition, his
brushstrokes are quite evident, and reveal again, a
sort of brooding meditative disquiet, as if in
coloring in the parcels of the subdivision, he had
noticed something; and his mind had become
focused in or absorbed entirely by it. And he just
kept painting and painting, almost as if his brush
itself, were trying to recreate on paper, the pattern
of deposition of silts and sediments that make up the river valley at this bend …
But why?

12. AHAH!! [ And Here’s A Hint!!! -- Ed.] The map above is a portion of the old USGS Tyee Quad, and shows the Clayton
Tract subdivision, at T. 24 S. R. 7 W., W.M., as executed by “Bartleby,” but now repositioned – superimposed – upon
the stretch of the Umpqua River, depicted on the topographical map. PLAYERS – Do you notice anything? Hmmm?
NO? Well… look again. And then, take a look at the DATE of this issue of S.Y.M.-Zonia™ -- and then think back to a
certain P.Y.M. ™ Puzzler of about – oh, say… ONE YEAR AGO. Remember Dromgoole’s disastrous P.Y.M.G.C.P.?
And the vehicular flash mob that … literally … ensued? (Did you save your back issues? I sure hope so !!! )
One more hint: DROMGOOLE LIED. Yes. We know: Me and Suzy Cue. Because … we were there … BUT,
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