01 - pat narratives- glamourised dos n donts

1. Ideal woman according to Patriarchy
ಕಾ ೕರ್ಬೇಶು ದಾಸಿ
ಕರಣೇಶು ಮಂತಿ್ರ
ಭೋಜೆ್ಯಾೕಶು ಮಾತಾ
ಶಯನೇಶು ವೇಶ್ಯಾ
ರೂಪೇಶು ಲಕಿಕ್ಮೀ
ಕ್ಷಮಯಾ ಧರಿತಿ್ರ
“ಷಟ್ಧಮರ್ಬೇ ಯುಕ್ತ, ಕುಲ ಧಮರ್ಬೇ
ಪತಿ್ನೊ”

2. Patriarchal narrative - Glamourised Do’s for men
● Fighting against all odds to protect the family
● Keeping the struggles bottled inside in order to 'protect' the family from
knowing the real hardships
● Making sure vengeance is done after somebody wronged him and his family
● Stalking, teasing, forcing, harassing women in the name of love and jokes
● Protecting family honour - lock up daughters and so on
● Men - ownership of land, woman protector, money providers and decision
makers etc
● Men have stress - to relieve it they can smoke and drink
● It doesn't matter how you are - You will find a bride
● If your wife is not compatible then you can seek your happiness elsewhere

3. Patriarchal narrative - Glamourised don’ts for men
● Don't wear colorful clothes and jewellery
● Fine arts are not ideal choices for career even when you are talented
● Don't share your stresses and problems with your family because they want
you to decide
● Outside home is your arena. You come home to be nurtured.
● Don't get influenced by henpecked husbands
● Wife need not work when you are there as the sole provider.
● He will not have any gay friends

4. Patriarchal narrative - Glamourised do’s for women
● Be happy being sheltered and protected
● Look forward to and dream about getting married.
● Love the elders so much that she doesn't mind being obedient.
● Be gentle and sensitive to take all the hardships unless there is a man next to
her.
● Be happy being in the background. Men succeeding is enough for me to
watch from background.
● ತಾ್ಯಾಗ
● She is happy being last to access any resource available in house
● Atte, nadini, sodara sose nambo hagilla. mettagiddu kattu kuidru anno tara
● Prioritising others well being over her own health

5. Glamourised do’s for women Contd..
● Is happy about being steered by other people throughout her life journey
● Karyeshu dasi lines
● ನೀನು ಹೊರಗಡೆ ಕೆಲಸ ಮಾ ಬಂದರೂ ಮನೆ ಸಂಭಾಳಿಸೋದ್ರಲಿ್ಲ ನನ್ನೊ ಖುಷಿಯಿದೆ
● She should keep her husband happy and satisfied
● Be appropriately covered so that you don't invite other men's gaze

6. Patriarchal narrative - Glamourised don’ts for women
● Don't boss over your husband
● You always need support of your family. Don’t try to be independent
● There is a risk that higher your studies then scarcer is your choices for
grooms.
● ನಿನ್ನೊ ಗಂಡ ಅತೆ್ತ ಮಾವ ನಾದಿನಿ ೖದುನ ಎಲ್ಲರನೂ್ನೊ ಚೆನಾ್ನೊ ನೋಡೊ್ಕೕ ೇಕು. ಅವರ ಮಾತುಗಳನ್ನೊ
neglect ಮಾಡ ೇಡ ಅಥವಾ ಎದುರು ಮಾತಾಡಬಹುದು.
● Your career is not as important as your husband’s career
● ತೌರು ಮನೆಯವರನ್ನೊ ತಲೆ ೕಲೆ ಹತು್ತಸೊ್ಕ ೇಡ
● ಅಕ್ಕಪಕ್ಕದ ಮನೆ ಹೆಂಗಸರು ನಿಂಗೆ ತಲೆ ಕೆಡೊ್ಸೕಕೆ ಬಿಡ ೇಡ

7. Glamourised don’ts for women Contd..
● ಪರಪುರುಷರ ಜೊತೆ ಸಲುಗೆ ೇಡ
● ಮನೆಗುಟು್ಟು ಹೊರಗಡೆ ರಟು್ಟು ಮಾಡ ೇಡ
● Don't get involved in any women groups or collectivising initiatives for women
● My identity as self is non existent. I should always think “Vasudaiva
kutumbakam”
● Performing arts can be pursued upto certain age.

8. Patriarchal notions and behaviour that get transferred to
school and classroom behaviour
● ಹಿರಿಯರನು್ನೊ ಗೌರವಿಸಿ
● ಹಿರಿಯರನು್ನೊ ಪ್ರ ್ನೊಸ ೇ
● ಹಿರಿಯರು ಯಾವಾಗಲೂ ನಮ್ಮ ಹಿತವನೆ್ನೋ ಬಯಸುತಾ್ತರೆ
● ಅವರಿಗೆ ಎದುರುತ್ತರ ಕೊಡ ೇ
● ಕಿರಿಯರು ತ ಗ್ಗಿ ಬ ಗ್ಗಿ ನ ೕ ೇಕು
● ಹಿರಿಯರ ಮಾತನು್ನೊ ಪಾಲಿಸ ೇಕು
● ಮಕ್ಕಳು ಇದಾರ ಇಲಾ್ವಾ ಅನೊ್ನೊ ಥರ ಇ ೇರ್ಬೇಕು
● ಜಾಣನಿಗೆ ಮಾತಿನ ಪೆಟು್ಟು, ಕೋಣನಿಗೆ ದೊಣೆ್ಣೆ ಪೆಟು್ಟು.