- Oakapple has reached Childhood and enjoys painting, while fighting with his brother Adam over who will inherit their family home. - Buttercup is a stereotypical teenage girl who wants to go on dates and buy a cell phone, though she failed to roll Pleasure as her aspiration. - Issues were discovered with the save file, including graves labeled with the names of living Sims, requiring the neighborhood to be rebuilt.

1. Welcome back to Ruth’s (un)Officially Wacky Boolprop Challenge! Or, if you’re joining
me for the very first time, just plain welcome!
Last time, Ryan made a servo and finished the first Official Family Portrait, helping out
with three of the Official Requirements. I wasn’t planning on marrying him in, but now
I’m glad I did. Valerie passed on, leaving an ordinary urn, and Buttercup became a Teen.
I think that just about covers it. Are you ready to move on?
Then let’s go.

2. Adam learned to study, although he was somewhat less than enthusiastic about it.
RUTH: There, now, aren’t you glad you know how to study? Won’t that make things
easier for you?
OLD ADAM: I’m sure it will, Mama. Thank you.
RUTH: You don’t sound very convinced.
OLD ADAM: I am grateful, Mama. But I have an idea for a fable that I would like to put
to paper before it vanishes back into the ether, if you do not mind.
RUTH (amused): A fable, huh? Where did you learn about those?
OLD ADAM: In school.
RUTH: What’s your fable about?
OLD ADAM: The chalk and the cheese. I beg your pardon, Mama, but I really do need to
go now if I am to have the nub of it down before it is time for me to retire.
RUTH: Okay, honey. Don’t stay up too late.

3. But studying pays off. Remember that, boys and girls.
OLD ADAM: Mama! Mama! An A+! My fable got an A+!
RUTH: That’s wonderful, Adam! I’m so proud of you! What would you like to do to
celebrate?
OLD ADAM: May I use the calculating machine, Mama? I know you usually use it at
this time of day, but I should very much like to make use of it myself.

4. RUTH (V.O.) (amused): Of course you may use the computer. Have fun.
OLD ADAM (V.O.): Thank you, Mama.
Adam really likes the “calculating machine.” He prefers the word processing programs to
the video games.
Incidentally, before World War II, a “computer” was what we would now call a “math
whiz” – a person who was good with numbers. I don’t know what Gilbert would have
called a computer, because they didn’t have them back then. They did have telephones,
though, and Gilbert wrote the first-ever song incorporating the word “telephone” in it. So
there.

5. Ryan continues to look for aliens, without success. I’m really not sure what the problem
it. They took his first cousin once removed by adoption, and Ryan’s at least as good-
looking as Simon. Maybe it’s the outfit?
No, a lot of people like a man in uniform. And Ryan wouldn’t look good in my custom-
content special grown-up stargazing outfit. Did he fill out the warranty card?
I bet he didn’t. I bet you a hundred dollars that’s the problem.
Everyone knows the aliens won’t abduct you unless you fill out the warranty card and
check the box that says “Yes! I am interested in new growth and learning opportunities!”
Why do you think abductions are so rare?

6. Oakapple has reached Child. Whoopee. Don’t get me wrong – this is a good thing; I just
wish that he were closer in age to Adam. It’s going to make the college plot a lot harder.
I’m not entirely sure where that mouth came from, either. But it’s impressive, no?
Notice that Oakapple copied his older brother’s hairstyle and pajamas. This makes a very
nice bit of foreshadowing – I just wish I could take credit for it.

7. Oakapple has his own look now. He appears to enjoy the easel more than either of his
siblings, although that may just be because he is the only one who has had a chance to try
it – it was occupied with Ryan’s official family portrait for a very long time.
Since Gilbert’s Robin Oakapple was a successful yeoman farmer, Oakapple’s look is
meant to be farm-based.

8. Although the (almost literal) war paint doesn’t exactly fit with that theme.
Now that Buttercup is too grown-up to run out and Hug Ryan hello every evening,
Oakapple has taken over. He gets along well with everyone in his family, with the
exception of his older brother. Looking at the Relationship Panel, I can see that Oakapple
is Furious with Adam. It took a very long time for me to figure out why.

9. Apparently, Oakapple is a sore loser.
Man, I really wish I could take credit for this…

10. Buttercup is something of a stereotypical teenage girl. She likes checking herself out in
the mirror and talking on the phone. She’d like to buy a cell phone of her very own, and
she’d like to go on a date.
As a Pleasure Sim, she’s something of a failure, though. She doesn’t want to jump on
couches, change into pajamas, play video games, or anything like that. I’ve re-read some
rules about rolling for aspiration, and I think that rolling a one is actually supposed to
equal Fortune. That would fit better.
Maybe she’ll get a better re-roll in college.

11. Buttercup’s best friend is Samantha Littledragon, last seen hitting the bubbles. She has
since become a Teen.
BUTTERCUP: Hey, Sam! Thanks for coming over. My brothers are driving me crazy.
Especially Oakapple.
SAMANTHA: Why?
BUTTERCUP: Well, Oakapple insists that he’s going to inherit because he’s the
youngest, but Adam says the he’s going to inherit because he’s the oldest boy. They both
fight about it all the time and neither of them think about me as potential heir, which is
just plain stupid.
SAMANTHA: What do your parents say?
BUTTERCUP: Dad says they’re boys – let ‘em fight it out if it keeps them from
destroying the house. When Mom’s in a good mood, she says it’ll all work out, they just
need patience. When she’s in a bad mood, she says that fighting over heirship is
ridiculous when she’s not even an Elder yet, let alone dead, and that if Adam and
Oakapple don’t shut up about it they’ll neither of them be heir – she’ll adopt a dog and
leave everything to it instead.
SAMANTHA: That sounds rough…Why is Cousin Oliver here?
BUTTERCUP: Who?

12. SAMANTHA: My cousin Oliver. The weirdo that seems to think he’s a runway model.
OLIVER COUDERC: Why, hello, ladies. Don’t everyone rush me at once.
SAMANTHA: No worries about that, squirt. What are you doing here?
OLIVER: No, no, no autographs, please. I’m far too busy.
SAMANTHA: We didn’t ask for any autograph. Scram.

13. SAMANTHA: So anyway, speaking of little brothers…
OLIVER: Tell me to scram will they? Well, they should fear the Wrath of Hardyman!
Mwahahahaha!*
*Oliver Stanley Littledragon is named for the comedy duo (Stan) Laurel and (Oliver) Hardy. His
grandmother is a criminal mastermind and his mother is a lawyer, so you see that he comes by his
larcenous, revenge-oriented streak naturally.

14. Not to worry, though. Adam brought the gnome back.
OLD ADAM: Why was I the one to do this? Could not someone else have done it? I’m
TIRED!
So go to bed like I told you to do two hours ago! (mutters disgustedly) Sims. Wouldn’t
listen to me even if they could hear me.

15. Ruth and Ryan work at keeping their relationship alive. They go on lots of dates, write
each other love letters even though they live in the same house…

16. …They even have his ‘n’ hers Energizers. Awwww.

17. Ruth went back to the Tacky Flamingo and spent roughly twenty-four hours there. She
earned a Bronze Sales badge and made a ton of money.
For one of my businesses it was a ton of money, anyway.

18. And I found out why Nirel kept losing all the stars he would earn last time around.
NIREL LITTLEDRAGON: This place is a pigsty!
RUTH: It is?
NIREL: Yes! Don’t you ever clean up around here?
RUTH: It seems okay to me. I mean, I keep the bathroom clean, and there’s not much
else to get dirty…
NIREL: You’ve had a half-eaten instant meal sitting out for at least three days! Can’t you
smell it? It’s disgusting!
RUTH: I’m really sorry about that, sir. I’ll take care of it right away.
NIREL: And don’t call me “sir”! I’m your cousin, for Esme’s sake!
RUTH: Oh, sure. Sorry about that, Poopmeister.
NIREL: …You know what? “Sir” is just fine.

19. And for some reason, Mrs. Crumplebottom was really on the warpath this time. She
would not leave and she kept lecturing everyone about everything you’d expect.
MRS. CRUMPLEBOTTOM: What are you doing running around nekkid like that, young
man? You should go home and put on some decent clothes!
GERARD (protestingly): But Mrs. Crumplebottom, you’re supposed to wear a bathing
suit in the hot tub.
MRS. CRUMPLEBOTTOM: You call that a bathing suit? (sniffs) In my day, bathing
suits came in three decent pieces, and they covered you from neck to – well! And you
only put them on inside a bathing machine, and you didn’t come out of the bathing
machine until you could go into the water and be decently covered up from the neck
down!
GERARD: But Mrs. Crumplebottom, that doesn’t make any sense! How could you get
from the bathing machine to the water?*
MRS. CRUMPLEBOTTOM: Impertinence! (smacks him with her handbag)
*People who used bathing machines would get changed inside them on the shore. Then a horse would pull
the bathing machine into the sea or lake, and the person inside would slip out through a special trapdoor
into the water, so nobody would actually ever see them in their bathing suits.
The Victorians had issues.

20. She also lectured people about nothing in particular, at least as far as I could tell.
MRS. CRUMPLEBOTTOM: Young lady, you offend me!
RUTH: Why, Mrs. Crumplebottom?
MRS. CRUMPLEBOTTOM: Because – because you are showing everyone your
unmentionables!
RUTH: My unmentionables? Mrs. Crumplebottom, I am the mother of three. My
husband is the only one who sees my unmentionables.
MRS. CRUMPLEBOTTOM: The ones at the tops of your feet? I can see them right now,
young lady, and let me tell you: I don’t approve one bit!
(Ruth thinks about that)
RUTH: You mean my ankles?
MRS. CRUMPLEBOTTOM: Horror! How can you say that word?! There are men
present!
RUTH: I’m sure they know what an ankle is, Mrs. Crumplebottom…
Mrs. C is probably the reason we never had more than three customers at a time and
didn’t make it to Level 2 this time around.

21. Ruth has been working on her share of the multi-person requirements, and actually
earned her Gold Robotics badge. Unfortunately, Aren completely ruined the shot of the
little doodad above her head, so I can’t prove it.
But you know what? I’m going to have to rebuild the servo anyway, so it doesn’t matter.
I’ll just show you Ruth competing a servo, same as I showed you Ryan, and that will be
my proof.
Wait – why do you have to rebuild the servo? (I hear you cry.)

22. Because of this.
One grave says “Here lies Aren Sanders.” So does one urn. The other grave/urn pair is
labeled “Valerie Shankel.”
This cannot possibly be a good thing. Combined with other oddities in the ‘hood – such
as a child rolling the Want to buy a guitar she cannot possibly use – I have decided that it
is time for another rebuild. I’ve known this day was coming since the last rebuild, and I
got almost a year and a half of gameplay out of this ‘hood, so things could be worse. But
it does mean that the next installment might be a bit delayed.

23. Notes, disclaimers, and other trivia
The title of this episode comes from Patience. It’s a song sung to encourage one poet to
go to his rival and tell him to clear out – or else. Of course, given that these are poets, the
“or else” is “or else I’ll say ‘Bah!’ to you and refuse to acknowledge you in the street,”
but it’s the thought that counts.
Gilbert really did write a song with a reference to a telephone in it. It’s “Farewell, my
own!” from HMS Pinafore. Gilbert was an early adopter, and owned a telephone before
they were at all common. I suppose he couldn’t call very many people, though…
I didn’t make up the bit about the bathing machines, either. They were real.
And finally: the boys can fight about heirship all they want, but you the readers have
chosen the heir already. I am, however, withholding that information for reasons of Plot.
(Oh, don’t mention it. You’re quite welcome.)
Until the next installment – whenever that ends up being – Happy Simming!