book of my poems

1. Index
(click the poem name to go straight to it)
Ray of hope 1 Mind Made Up 20
Karma 2 Comparison 21
Shooting Stars 3 What a Waste 21
Saybre 3
To mum 3
Xmas 4
What’s the point 4
The Bitch 5-6
Wishful thinking 7
Wedding day 8
Teddy bear 9
Azazel 10
Time to go 11
Get over it 12
Friendship 13
Amy 14
Crying out 15
Bye for now 16
The day it died 17
Stay or Go 18
I’m not right in the head 19

2. Ray of hope
In the darkened dense of night
there is a light that shines out bright
A light that leads you like a guide
and gives you help when you want to hide
It catches your eyes and makes you see
the destination where you want to be
A place that once seemed empty and dull
yet in the light is happy and whole
Just like the star up in the sky Karma
you are the glimmer that catches my eye
The thing that makes the day ok Wasted talents, failing pride
when nothing else will go your way mixed emotions built up inside
just as life starts to seem too tough Happy places been and gone
you were my diamond in the rough the life of someone that must of done wrong
You picked me up and made me see Days seem empty, foods losing its taste
not everything’s what it seems to be Karmas letting a good guy just go to waste
But some things are sincere and true So what I’m a fuck up that’s let my life go
just like the fact that i want you I’ve been in the limelight and now really know
so when the other lights go out It’s not about possessions or things that you do
and no one seems to hear you shout its more about the smiles that’s caused by a few
there is a switch that you can flick They may not even notice the smile on your face
to have a search light find you quick but that’s because you wear it whenever they’re in the place
to help you out when lifes unfair I know that it sounds stupid but when their smiles keep you pleased
and appreciate you being there you know you’ve found the thing where the juice is worth the
So flick the switch and turn it on, squeeze
and do it before the power is gone

3. Shooting stars
Shooting stars up in the sky
Xmas
why do my wishes just pass me by
I don’t ask for much there’s just one thing I’d like
Christmas is a time of joy
that’s someone to love and hold through the night
for every little girl and boy
I know I haven’t earned it so I shouldn’t really moan
A time of greetings a time of fun
so let’s raise our glasses to dying alone
the time for a big meal provided by mum
A time for the queen to bore us once more
and when tone death kids will knock at the door
Saybre
What’s the point?
In our memories you’ll always last,
like barking at planes as they go past.
As the years go flying past,
we all miss you and think were great,
there's many things that never last.
and sheena is sad due to losing her mate.
The things that keep you happy and sane,
you chew our bottles, you eat our stock.
will end up being gone again.
but we don’t mind as we love you lots
So don't get attached just go with the flow,
be prepared to let happiness go.
Coz when you're unwanted you can't really moan,
To mum
coz there are some advantages to being alone.
No one to stir things or fuck with your head,
Fed up with fake smiles people wear them all the time
no one to hold you when tucked up in bed.
or if someone asks if their ok they tell them that their fine
Your money goes further you can live without care,
It’s a world of lies where things aren’t fair that you have to battle
its nice to have cash but its better to share.
through
You choose your own channels there's no one to moan,
but life is made much easier thanks to the likes of you
or no one to find you if you die in your home.
The one thats always been there no matter what I’ve done
At least it must be better then feeling like this,
I may not always show it but I’m thankful you’re my mum
coz the less that you love the less you will miss.
Coz without you I’d be nothing but a stain upon a bed
Don't want to be selfish but think that its time,
but you helped me grow, looked after me and put knowledge in my
forget about others hearts and focus on mine.
head
So of course I’d like to thank you for everything you do
and I’m hoping that you realise just how much I love you

4. The Bitch
Get your bloody facts right you spiteful little girl When you kissed a cheek, gave them a hug, then placed your hand
coz sooner or later people will realise the made up shit you tell upon their balls
You say that I’m a stalker and just turn up where you go You’re like a bitchy princess you always must be right
but I have had enough now and think people should know and if someone would disagree you’ll start a stupid fight
You used to tell me everything we were always going out Amy you’re a black boy, ms tate you selfish bitch
you’d invite me places then you’d go and spread all lies about Hayley you’re a push over and it was Luce who said all this
You’d say I just turned up or I won’t leave you alone Don’t listen to Sabrina she’s a two faced gossip whore
but the truth as you well know is you wanted taking home and if Luce would say the word to Steve he’d kick his girlfriend out
You say I turned up at the club and just started coming in the door
but tell the truth you invited me, so you made that begin Georgia you call menstrual and says she don’t trust you
You talked me into joining both the pool team and the club but who can really blame her with the selfish things you do
so stop with all the bullshit that I just one day turned up You told me Shan’s a lier, spoilt and a thief
You’re full of lies, you’re selfish, you treat people like crap but at least that girl has grown up and turned another leaf
you’re lovely when you’re happy but people see through that Unlike you miss Marley you’re not right in the head
You invited me to football, parties and the pub and when someone’s there to much for you you treat them shit
you’d come with me for random drives, lunch, dinner and the club instead
So lets now clear things up and let out some home truths If I was out and you turned up I would not give a fuck
you wanna act a bitch, well I can be one to but if I turned up where you were you’d start a little ruck
You slag off your whole family apart from a select few That’s not right as I ain’t done wrong its you that told the lies
everything they do is wrong and this was said by you and I wanted to sort them out before we said our last good byes
Moira’s a cunt and so are her girls you’ve told me this a lot I haven’t mentioned everyone as that would take all year
and the trust you should have for your dad you’ve told me you’ve not but all the things I’ve mentioned I think your so called mates should
got hear
Your sister and your mother the word you use is bitch so to anyone who’s listening this girl is a prick
and dave should buy your mum a house seeing as his so rich she mugs off all her mates, then she drops them like a brick
Me and stone were there for you we tried hard to cheer you up She has a shitty attitude when things don’t go her way
but then you found some new mates and no longer gave a fuck and if you something wrong your friendships gone within a day
but you cause rifts in some friendships and now that they’re repaired Not that she has ever really seen people as mates
you seem to come back on the scene to cause another tear she’ll just pretend to like you so she can get all she can take
Annie is a nice girl so please don’t lead her on Now i did try to be civil, but you just waved that past
and sending sexts while you’re with G is well and truly wrong so this is my last message saying you can kiss my arse
So is being down the club whilst going out with George

5. Wedding day
Your happiest moment should happen on this day,
it may be over quick but the memories will stay
the flashing of the camera’s, the cutting o the cake
the making yourself look foolish on the dance floor with your mates
the weathers not important ant because come rain or shine
once this day is over you’ll eternally be mine
so raise your glasses and make a toast
have a happy life with the one you love most
I want you to know you’ll be in my heart,
forever and ever till death do us part
Wishful thinking
From the moment that I met you I knew it wouldn't be,
coz even thou I fell for you you couldn't full for me.
But I really would do anything to keep you in my life,
I love everything about you and even love your wife.
The silly faces the the cold heart words the subtle small dance
moves,
and you seem to keep me smiling even in your quiet moods.
The clumsy little moments that makes me go aw bless,
or if you stood next to a model I'd still think you looked best.
The silly little comments when you just don't think,
your quietness when sober and your loudness when you drink.
I love you playful temperament thou it don't come my way,
there's just something about you and I could watch you every day.
I love your eyes I love your smile there's just one thing I could hate,
and that is just a stupid thing and its that we are only mates.
Your taste your sense of humour I hope they never change,
and perhaps one day something could happen if I stop being so
strange.

6. Azazel
Tyranny and evil
Selfishness and pain
The traits of something spiteful
and you've used them once again
Quick to pull the trigger
and punish ones that care
Teddy Bear That’s how to spend a life in hell
by having no one there
I wish I was a teddy bear that lay upon your bed You feel out of the heavens
so every time you reached for him you’d cuddle me instead Banished by the lord
I’d be there through the dark times, I’d keep you warm all night to be punished for the stupid things
I never will complain, I’ll just hold you till its light you do when you get bored
it may not seem like much but it’s the best that I can do You used to be my angel
while you’re asleep I’ll stay awake and keep the boogie man from you you couldn't do no wrong
You really tried to stitch me up
but i miss you now you're gone

7. Get over it
Another day another pain
The same mistakes are made again
The ones that tear your life apart
And last forever in your heart
As time goes by the memories last
And makes you really hate your past
They make you think and bring you down
When you’re missing something that’s not around
You fake a smile everyday
You say to people you’re ok
They believe it coz they think its true
And cannot see inside of you
But that’s ok its for the best
To keep some secrets from the rest
Coz not many people will understand
Unless they have experienced it first hand
That depression is a slippery slope
It makes you really give up hope
But don’t give up, keep your pride
Wipe the tears out of your eyes
The past is the past so just let it be
Time to go
Put right what you can then set your mind free
So much talent, so much love
But hated by the man above
One minute of happiness causes hours of pain
The story of my life over and over again
The harder you try the harder you fall
At times six foot under seems the best place of all
Don’t wanna go to heaven, don’t fancy hell
Reincarnation can go fuck as well
Karma is bullshit and I never do learn
So could make myself useful and be food for a worm.

8. Friendship Amy
People come, people go Another day without you.
Loves always there but anger may show. More memories of guilt.
Most stand by you, some do not You left my world in tatters.
But if you are happy then keep what you’ve got. Like a roses when it wilts.
Don’t hold grudges coz time gets lost Our friendship was a god send.
Hold on to the good mates no matter the cost. Under your spell I’d full.
Just take a step back and realise who’s true I’m really gonna miss you.
Don’t let people kill what’s important to you. So would come running if you call.
Let them know they matter, let them know you Everyday is torture.
care Pretending I’m ok.
Make sure that they realise that you’re happy being Everywhere seems empty.
there. Right from when you went away.
Pick the most important, keep them by your side Really I am sorry it won’t happen again.
Don’t be scared of showing love just coz you’re full You really are the main person I want as a close friend
of pride.

9. Crying out Bye for now
Was always in the limelight always up on stage the one who tries to help you
but self respect and confidence are vanishing with age who comes running when you call
Always making effort yet constantly alone who's in the background when you're happy
it must be time for this ole life to chuck its dog a bone who tries to catch you if you fall
I can't help being different, can't help it that i care the one that asks for nothing
yet the more i try to do, the less people i have there who just enjoys to hear you speak
So I'll take a look at what I've got the one who wants to talk to you
What I am and what I'm not every day of every week
Think about the things you do the one with all the compliments
and things that get returned to you the one who's always cared
Remember all the good times gone the one who would take so much shit
what you've done right what you've done wrong yet still always be there
It isn't hard to figure out the one who will correct you
that people don't want you about if you get something wrong
They just pretend they're there for you the one that's missed you everyday
to see what favours they can get you to do from the moment you've been gone
I know this coz lately for help I have asked the one whos happy place
but in everyones eyes I seem to come last is where they see your smile
I bet if I died I wouldn't be found you may not even see it
coz no one would care that I'm not around but you've helped them for a while
So with this in mind I'll leave you all be so was quick to do a favour
just don't bother asking for favours from me it never cost me to be nice
so don't take for granted the people that care but niceties get forgotten
coz once they've had enough they'll no longer be there and I'm now paying the price
i never really thought
that it would end again
i think you are amazing
but I'll see you soon my friend

10. The day it died Stay or Go
Faces all around me but feeling all aloneLiving in my own town confused in life and lost in thought
and not feeling at home. am learning things that can't be taught
Always get the feeling, that i've done something wrong always wanting never got
Cannot help the feeling that I no longer belong. might as well forget the lot
Nothing feels the same no more, everything has changed I'm gonna lose i know the score
The things I loved are different and won't be the same again
I've seen it many times before
the evenings seem much longer, the sun don't seem to shine
why start climbing just to fall
i swear the meaning of my life is just to waste some time
but values have now altered, and the eyes are open wide why chose love to lose it all
trust for people vanished ever since you left my side shouldn't be bitter, shouldn't get mad
i've burnt some bridges, pushed people away should remember all the good times had
not wanted closeness since you left that day make a decision make up my mind
got no time for users, they are all just dicks stick this path out or leave it behind?
they pretend to be a good person but really they're just pricks
they fill you up with bullshit of what they think you want to
here I’m not right in the head
they fill your head with happiness that will gradually disappear
they're happy when they're winning and hate you when they're you can chuck me on a fire, poke me in the eye
not or kick me in the balls yet you still won't make me cry
they'll take everything the can from you and not realise what
but take away my Perry and my head just does not cope
they've got
i cannot seem to think and get a lump within my throat
this don't apply to everyone there a select few
that i have a lot of respect for but remind me of you know who there's not much that i care for, there's not much i would like
but still I'll always be there and be a better mate i just want you to know that i HAVE TO put things right
but i will not be round enough for yous to think of me with hate i hate my life i think it's shit I've thought this for a while
to the one who's still stuck by me , i think you're fucking great except for times when you're around coz I'm happy when you
you're the person I'll tell anything, more then any other mate smile
got others to sit with that will help me out
so not like I'm going "completely" without
i admit i may be lonely and seem not to give a fuck
but life is much more simple if you don't care quite so much

11. Mind Made Up What a Waste
feeling like a spirit with long list left to do Don't need money, don't want fame,
worried about feelings of a select amazing few The dreams from my teens are no longer the same.
looking out for chances to put right past mistakes An expert at music a star on the stage,
thinking of the last good deed that's owed to some good mates Was filled up with confidence but lost it with age.
tying up the loose ends, I'm setting up a plan Surrounded by friends if I liked them or not,
there's a good chance a year from now I will not be around
But as I got older I abandoned a lot
I thought I was happy but I really had shit
Comparison Multi talents are wasted with no one to share them with
The one who means the world to you Compared to those who
care
One of them will text you but others are always there
You can tell them all your secrets and for this you think they're
great
But the real reason behind it is they "can't" speak to your mates
You always go for distance, get to know them on the phone
Then take away the distance and you end up on your own
Some would give the world for you and if you asked they'd
probably kill
Yet others um and ar about seeing you yet will visit now you're
healed
You make all the effort you're always there for them
Yet when you're ill or need someone you're on you own "again"
The ones that live at distance don't see the real you
They just see 1 personality when really there is 2
When people get to see these they can get pushed aside
Not coz you don't like them just because you need to hide
But some of us will love you whether you happy, sad or irate
But will never mean as much to you because they're male or
straight