Playing with Intent discusses the importance of play for child development. It highlights that play is a child's natural language and how engaging in play helps parents understand and support their child's growth. The document provides developmental milestones and age-appropriate play suggestions from birth to age 4 to help facilitate children's physical, cognitive, language, and emotional development through play. The summary concludes that regular parent-child play time builds strong bonds and supports children's confidence, well-being, and social skills.

1. Playing with Intent
In today’s busy world and growing economy people are very caught up in their life and
commercial growth that they find it difficult to engage in family time to just bond and take time
off their busy schedules to build on the ‘family’. A classic example of this situation would be
when parents are busy and are not able to take time to spend time in ‘playing’ and ‘bonding’
with their children. This article will hopefully highlight what play is, what play does and how it
will help your child ‘grow’.
Bringing a child into the world is no mean task and parents sometimes get caught up in the
whirlwind of activities and responsibilities that are associated with childbirth and sometimes
overlook the concept of ‘play’. Many new parents may not even know the concept or the
importance of ‘play’ in their newborns or toddlers. They could use some tips or suggestions from
what play therapists know and ‘play with intent’ with their children.
What is ‘play’?
Plato (429-347 B.C.) famously said that one can discover more about a person in an hour of play
than in a year of conversation! This seems like a logical conclusion as ‘Play’ is literally the
child’s first language. Newborns come out of their mother’s womb knowing to respond, knowing
to play. They do not need to be taught how to play or behave. Even before they verbally
communicate, they communicate their experiences and feelings through play and gestures.
Therefore, engaging in play could be a useful tool to learn, understand and help develop a child.
Why is play important?
Play is how children naturally express themselves. It facilitates them in communicating with
others, their true thoughts and feelings. Different concepts pertaining to the developmental
milestones can be learnt through play. Through play, they build a sense of trust and bond with
self and others. Healthy boundaries and appropriate behavior can be defined. Play enhances
creativity and promotes playfulness. Play therapists believe that play steers children towards
more effective social integration and interaction, overall growth and development and behavior
modulation.
What a play therapist knows that parents can use too?
If play is the natural language for children, play therapists are the language experts. They
understand developmental milestones and normal behaviors in children and most importantly the
implication of ‘normal play’ in the physical, mental and emotional development and well-being
of a child. Play therapists engage in activities that build on normal communication and learning
processes of children depending upon their developmental milestones.
Understanding developmental milestones is crucial before one understands play. Children
engage in different types of play depending on the milestones they have achieved so far. After

2. achieving each milestone, play pattern in children changes and they learn to express their
feelings and moods differently. Therefore, with every milestone progressed, parents should
modify their play and interaction with their children. According to play therapists, this parent-
child play association will allow the child to express self, be self-aware and be efficient.
The following are age-appropriate developmental milestones for the child and also the kind of
play parents can engage in with their children:
From 0-1 year:
Physical Development: By 1 year the child is able to sit without help, is able to pull to stand; the
child walks around by taking support of objects, may take a few steps without support and may
stand alone.
Cognitive development: The child tries to explore things by touch, shaking, banging and
throwing toys etc, he or she looks at a toy in hand, starts putting and removing objects, uses both
hands to hold bottle etc.
Language/ Communication: The child responds to gestures and spoken words, tries to use simple
gestures and shaking head side-to-side for ‘no’, tries to babble and say a few words like ‘mama’,
tries to mimic words you say.
Emotional development: The child at this stage, does not mingle a lot with strangers, cries when
mom or dad leave, tries to express self by banging the hands, babbling, crying etc. to gain
attention to self.
Suggested play: During the first year, talk, sing and read to your baby. Bring the child’s hand to
your face and hair to raise body awareness in the baby. Cuddle and hug the child often to ensure
sense of security and safety. When the baby responds to your voice, encourage and answer using
more words.
From1-2 years:
Physical Development: Between this age group the child can stand alone, stand on tiptoe, tries to
kick, throw over-hand, climb up and down furniture, attempt to climb up stairs with support,
have a wide grip etc.
Cognitive development: The child tries to find things that are hidden, tries to sort shapes and
colors, tries to build towers by stacking 4 or more, is usually able to name items that are familiar
etc.

3. Language/ Communication: The child tries to point to things/pictures when they are named, tries
to name body part or familiar people, says few simple small sentences, tries to repeat overheard
words etc.
Emotional development: The child tries to gain attention and mimic people around, tries to show
more independence while doing activities, gets excited when in company of other children, may
show some defiant behavior or disregard given commands.
Suggested play: Keep reading, talking and singing to your baby. Ask to point out things, people
or body parts. Try to play simple matching games, sorting shapes etc. Encourage the child to
play and explore with diverse textures, toys and activities. Encourage child to talk and build on
communication skills.
From 2-3 years:
Physical development: In this age group, children usually climb well, run with ease, can balance
and pedal a 3-wheel bike, try to walk up and down stairs using one foot on each step.
Cognitive development: tries to have imaginative play, attempts puzzles with 3-4 pieces, tries to
copy a circle using crayons, builds towers by stacking 6 or more blocks, opens and closes lids of
jars etc
Language/ Communication: tries to communicate with 2-3 sentences, follows simple instructions
with 2-3 steps, knows name of few people/friends, starts to speak more clearly and usually even
unfamiliar people understand.
Emotional development: The child expresses more emotions and affection, shows concern for
others, understands concepts such as ‘mine’, ‘his’ or ‘hers’, is more comfortable without parents,
tries to help in daily activities, may not like change in daily activities etc
Suggested play: Talk with the child and ask simple questions. Provide different toys to explore,
stack, pull apart or fix. Introduce social skills such as giving, sharing and waiting etc. Encourage
your child to help in doing daily activities such as brushing, bathing and dressing etc.
From 3-4 years:
Physical development: In this age group, children are usually able to jump and hop in a place,
they have good eye-hand coordination, has good grip with chubby pencils, keys etc.
Cognitive development: Between age 3-4, children are usually able to name some shapes and
colors, they start to count on fingers, they start to understand and quantify time, they are able to

4. use scissors, they are able to remember some parts in a familiar story and try and guess what’s
going to happen next etc.
Language/ Communication: tries to sing along, sings from memory or repeats portions of a
familiar story, understands and uses basic rules of grammar in speech, can introduce self with
full name etc.
Emotional development: The child is open to more new things, engages in imaginary play and
role playing, uses props in play, tries to play with other children, expresses likes and dislikes
more, etc.
Suggested play: Encourage the child to have plenty of physical exercise. Allow and motivate the
child to do things independently. Introduce games where there are concepts that are taught such
as waiting for turn, sharing etc. Introduce creative arts and crafts that allow the child to explore
and come up with something unique. Provide picture books and story books and read stories to
the child and encourage the child to ask questions.
Parent-child play will help build more positive connections and bonding between them and will
also promote creative thinking and exploration in the child. This may directly impact behavior
regulation, emotional well-being and help the child be more confident and feel secure.
Many parents may opt for Audio- Visual mediums to provide entertainment and use it as a
learning tool for their kids. These could be in the form of videos, rhymes, cartoons etc. This
article does not discourage parents from doing so, but if the aim is to benefit, educate and
‘improve on’ the child then it’s important they consider bonding with their children with physical
play right from the beginning.
Parent-child play will help build more positive connections and bonding between them and will
also promote creative thinking and exploration in the child. This may directly impact behavior
regulation, emotional well-being and help the child be more confident and feel secure.
What may be a few non-productive hours a week that you spend with your children in ‘play’
could be like gold saw dust to them that will empower them and help them become more rounded
individuals.