This is an area that I’m really interested inI combined some resources – Jessica Stillman; Jeff Patton; Dr. Sant; and Bryan NealAs well as, made up some of my own based on experiences I have.For these patterns to work, I have 2 rules…Be Curious (or at least, pretend to be)Remember, a Happy Spouse makes a happy house.
Always be curiousAsk questions and/or restate the problemDon’t make assumptions w/o confirming themMake sure you understand where they are coming from
Sometimes, you have to “let them win”-Don’t always poo-poo on their ideas; pick your battles-Principle of reciprocity – you get what you give-Some people are control freaks – don’t become an out-of-control freak.
Okay, now it is time for the Jedi mind-tricks!
Shift the focus off of MY ideasInstead, focus on YOU, or your users.By taking the focus off of me, now the arguments against my ideas have to be much stronger.“I don’t like all of the options on the screen.”Vs.“Your users will potentially get confused because there are too many options on the screen.”
Establish yourself as the authority. If you are bringing ideas to the table, be confident (even if you aren’t the boss). The perception others have of your expertise will go for miles. However, you must remember to keep the emotion out of it – yes, it is your idea, but not all of our ideas are perfect.Along this vein, though, trust can be ruined if you aren’t honest. Don’t be afraid to say “I don’t know, let me follow up on that and I will get back to you.”You are not inferior if you don’t know the answer on the spot, it just means you want to get the most information possible before making a recommendation.
Social Validation is a great way to add support to your recommendations.TV ads are built upon this principle – it’s easy to adopt something that others are already using, or like.-Using open source code to validate that an architecture is correct-referencing studies and/or research to confirm/support (think Nielsen’s group)-refer to other projects where certain things are working
This pattern is interesting…BECAUSE…our brains are wired to think in terms of cause and effect.2 impactsTypically pointing out a goal to meet, or a potential failureAdds solid substance to a claim/opinion/idea“I don’t like this code review process.”Vs.“This code review process isn’t effective because the work in progress is too high.”“We should use this design pattern.”Vs.“The MVC design pattern is a better option because it allows for a more scalable product long term.”
“Made to stick”“Fearless Change”2 impactsIf you ask questions that you might already know the answer to, you can get the other person to come up with the idea themselves, and therefore, they are more likely to buy into that idea.Asking why, allows you to dig deeper and get to the root of the problem.If you do the same thing your 5th grade teacher would do, and ask questions in a way to get someone to give you “I don’t like this code review process.”Why don’t you like it?“Because they take too long to do.”Why is that a problem?“Because then we exceed our WIP limits.”-Now we have identified an issue
If the other person knows that you understand their problem, then they are more likely to hear you and your ideas, instead of always trying to tell you their problem.
Do you have any questions about these patterns?What is your recipe of success?What points of pain do you have?
