Parental abuse is defined as any act by a child or teenager that causes harm to their parent in an attempt to gain power or control. It can take emotional, verbal, physical, or financial forms and commonly emerges in adolescence. Contrary to popular belief, parental abuse stems from a desire for control rather than anger issues. It affects both parents and children, potentially causing psychological harm, isolation, and difficulty forming healthy relationships. While laws criminalize certain abusive acts, societal perceptions often view the child as a victim rather than offender when authorities intervene in abusive family dynamics. Parental abuse is an increasing issue worldwide that many parents are reluctant to address due to stigma.

1. Parental Abuse
Allison Fraser
Due 25/07/2016
Counselling Skills: Level 3

2. Parental abuse and typical teenage defiance have often been difficult circumstances to
differentiate, especially by the parents who do not want to place upon themselves the label of
being a victim within their family dynamic. An average teenager’s behaviour is often seen as
rebelling against authority figures and beginning to seek for their own independence from their
parents, which can quickly begin to resemble the behaviour of parental abuse. Parental abuse is
defined as any act by a child, teenager, or young adult that causes harm to their parent(s) in
attempt to gain power or control within their relationship. This abuse comprises of physical,
financial, emotional, and psychological forms of abuse, resulting in various forms of damage for
the victim. This research paper will focus on the causes of parental abuse along with the different
types, its effects, the laws surrounding it, as well as the reasoning behind it is difficult to
terminate the family dynamic consisting of abuse when it is toward the parent.
Parental abuse most commonly appears in adolescence, however, it can begin as early as
the age of 8, and will often last until they are in their mid to late twenties. Contrary to popular
belief, children acting in abusive behaviours to their parents is not commonly due to anger
management issues or disagreements, but rather in search for power or control within the
relationship with their parents. This appears when the child frequently controls, manipulates,
and/or intimidates their parents to create a desired end result, acting on intentions to cause pain
to their parents. This may be seen in normalized teenage behaviour, but when it becomes an
ongoing issue, that is where it may begin to be defined as parental abuse. At that point, the
parents often lose leadership within the family, and begin to experience despair when they feel as
though they lack control. A Canadian study has found that 44% of children who are of the ages
of 20-29 still live with their parents, which may contribute to parental abuse by causing the
parent financial stress and distorted roles within the family.

3. Both sexes of children are able to engage in parental abuse, but females tend to show this
more emotionally and verbally, and males show this more physically. There is also no “type” of
child who will necessarily engage in this. It also may occur in any social, cultural, or economic
statuses. This is to say that a captain of a hockey team from a high economic family who
receives straight A’s in school has the same potential to engage in this as one who skips school
regularly to smoke marijuana from a lower economic family. Also, both sexes of parents have
the possibility of experiencing this abuse, but mothers are more prone to it since they generally
have a closer emotional connection to their children than the father does.
Parental abuse may appear in a variety of different ways, which are divided into four
main categories; verbal, emotional, physical, and financial. These four categories are in common
in the sense that the child will ‘rage’ out when they are attempting to control their parents, and
the visual of this ‘rage’ will classify the type of parental abuse that it may fall under. Parental
abuse often begins with emotional and verbal forms, and may then escalate to becoming
physically violent in some cases.
Verbal parental abuse is defined as using spoken language or sounds to either cause pain
to their parents, or to better control the situation that they are in (Envision). This form of abuse
includes characteristics such as yelling, arguing, challenging, and belittling. An example of this
could be a teenager often insulting their parents, and yelling at them until the teenager receives
what they desire from the situation.
Emotional abuse is defined as any act that may weaken one’s “sense of identity, dignity,
and self-worth” (Healthy Place). This comprises of ‘mind games’, threatening, running away
from home, threatening suicide without intent, and expecting that their parents will put the
child’s needs and wants as their top priority no matter what. An example of emotional parental

4. abuse would be a child threatening suicide if their mother does not break up with her new
boyfriend that you do not like.
Physical abuse is the most evident form of abuse, and is defined as using force of the
physical nature to cause someone else physical harm, whether that results in either pain or
impairment. This form of abuse includes acts such as throwing or breaking objects, punching
holes in the walls, personal physical attacks such (shoving, hitting, spitting, etc.). Example of this
in regards to parental abuse would be a child throwing glass dishes around aiming for their
parent, or spitting in their parent’s face.
The fourth and final form of parental abuse is financial abuse. Children often ask their
parents for specific gifts, so the line between average child requests and parental abuse can be
challenging to detect. A few other indicators for this form of abuse include stealing or borrowing
items without permission, damaging the home or parents’ possessions, and demanding for
expensive gifts that the parents cannot easily afford. All of these forms of financial abuse have
potential to put the parents into financial debt, furthering their stress levels and lack of control
for the parents. Children may combine this with emotional abuse by stating that the parent may
have hurt them, and material items are what they believe to make them perhaps forgive the
parent. An example of this would be a child claiming that the parent makes them feel less loved
than their younger siblings, so they request a brand new pair of Jordan sneakers to make them
feel more important to their parents.
Parental abuse has been found to occur as a result of the child feeling isolated and
vulnerable, and they may take their frustrations out on their parents. Characteristics of children
who commonly engage in this have low self-esteem, want control, have poor communication

5. skills, place blame on others, and little control over impulses. They may become influenced by
society and other sources such as in the media, where violence is normalized.
The effects of parental abuse differ depending on the situation, and the individuals within
each situation. The effects could be large and traumatizing to a mother facing parental abuse in
one case, but a mother in another case could see a similar situation as the child simply going
through a difficult phase as they grow up. On average, the effects that parents experience through
parental abuse are physical harm (sometimes requiring medical treatment), damaged property,
emotional states of despair and helplessness, as well as shame and blame from their child and
others in their life. Since each situation is unique, it is difficult to determine the effects of the
abuse, however, it is common for the parent to have difficulty being aware that they may be
experiencing abuse from their child, so they usually do not address the issue or seek professional
assistance for the family dynamic. For those who do seek assistance by professionals or others in
their life, it is common for the parent to be blamed for the situation they are in which furthers
their despair, or they do not receive treatment beneficial to their situation. Also, child’s rights
have been increasing in Canada to the point where the child is seen in the public’s eye as having
more rights than the parent, and the child is often viewed as the victim instead of the offender
when the department of community services (DCS) is involved within family dynamics. This is
why parental abuse is not talked about nearly as much as child abuse, although parental abuse is
recently increasing in numbers.
The effects for the child have not been highly researched, but they can be compared to
the effects of domestic abuse on children in certain situations. A child who abuses their parent
may be at risk for not developing healthy interpersonal relationship skills, having a sense of
anxiety in situations that they do not have control in, becoming isolated from family and friends,

6. and may develop psychological disturbances. When it becomes routine for a child to receive
items and control over situations by manipulating the parent, they may have difficulty to
comprehend the concept of working to receive rewards in the future (such as employment to
make a paycheck, etc.), which may lead to a cycle of manipulation in other relationships in their
life, and possibly having to financially depend on their parents into their adulthood. Elder abuse
also exists as a result of the cycle of abuse, where the child may regain power over their parent.
Elder abuse is caused by a family member 90% of the time, where financial, sexual, physical,
and emotional forms of abuse are most common (National Council on Aging).
There are no specific offences for family violence described in the Criminal Code, but
many of these acts are defined as crimes in Canada. These charges often include physical or
sexual violence such as forced confinement, physical assault, and sexual assault. Psychological
or emotional abuse can be charged as abusive behaviours when they control, isolate, or
intimidate others, which involve uttering threats and harassment. Financial abuse can also be
charged within families as theft, forgery, or fraud. Since laws are by jurisdiction, there are
currently 6 provinces and 3 territories that have specific legislations against family violence. For
Nova Scotia, the Domestic Violence Intervention Act is the legislation that protects victims of
experiencing abuse within the family dynamic.
In conclusion, parental abuse is mainly due to the blurred line between normal teenage
defiance and parental abuse, which causes pain to the adult in intent for the teenager to gain
control. There are four different forms of abuse, which all cause differing effects for both the
parent(s) and the child. Parental abuse is an issue that is increasing in numbers throughout
Canada and other countries across the world, although parents are often reluctant to obtain

7. assistance to improve the family dynamic, and the societal view of family violence is distorted
when considering parental abuse.
Resources
Domestic Violence Roundtable, the Effects of Domestic Abuse on Children. 2008.
National Council for Aging,
Healthy Place, America’s Mental Health Channel, Emotional Abuse: Definitions, Signs,
Symptoms, Examples. July 18, 2016.
Envision Counselling and Support Center Inc., Parent Abuse.
National Center on Elder Abuse (NCEA), Administration on Aging. Types of Abuse.
NCOA, National Council on Aging. Elder Abuse Facts.